I can hear it in the distance... the shifting of the tides as the moon appears overhead. That can only mean one thing: It's gotta be quarantime! In the inaugural tenth episode of the coronavirus podcast that Seventeen magazine named "a podcast in which everyone is older than seventeen," we discuss Avery stabbing herself on accident, mom's adult coloring book, and myriad haikus. It's gonna be mighty poetic, friends. Join us!

Tis the season everyone! Does that mean it's Christmastime? Nope, it means it's quarantime! In this inaugural ninth episode of "The one good thing to come out of this whole mess"- every single listener, the fam hones in on some movie recommendations, the deepest of metaphors, and dad just can't stop coughing, but we promise it's not corona. Let's dive on in!

You guys remember when Marty McFly had to travel back in time to 1955? Well we're traveling to right now cause it's quarantime! In this inaugural eighth episode of "the podcast that's way too close to reality to be entertaining"-President Obama (PSYCH! He probably loves it), the fam gets kind of serious for a second. We talk the eternal love of teddy bears, the classic pool game Marco Polo, and what we're scared of right now. I'll hold your hand the whole time, promise. Figuratively, of course.

Did everyone else set their clocks back? I know I did. And not because it's daylight saving time, because it's quarantime! In the inaugural seventh episode of the podcast that "reminded me way too much of my own family to be entertaining in any way,"(-anonymous listener) we talk about the important stuff. Quarantine fashion choices. An adorable British bear. And esports? You get the gist. Join us, friends!

Is it Quarantime already?? I almost slept right through it, that would've been a disaster! In this inaugural sixth episode of "the most magnificent audio-based quarantine experience on the internet" (-someone, eventually), the fam takes on carpenter bees and wasps at the same time, a truly wonderful faux pas, and a desire to stop wearing flip-flops.

Howdy friends! Are those the town's church bells chiming in the distance to mark the arrival of midnight that I hear? Nope, those just mean it's Quarantime! In the inaugural fifth episode of the podcast that "will be used as a primary source in future media history and culture classes" (a quote from one of my professors), our fam celebrates its first quarantine birthday, we discuss the comedy legend that is our grandmother, and we play monopoly. Come on in, the water's warm.

What's your favorite time of year? Mine's the springtime, when the flowers begin to bloom and all the little animals come out for a nice jaunt every so often. Just kidding, it's Quarantime of course! In the inaugural fourth episode of your favorite podcast (maybe? Thought it was worth a shot) gets crazy as the fam finally figures out some household responsibilities, Avery takes a nap, and my lovely mother takes my self-confidence to task. It's the best one yet, and that's a guarantee.

I just woke up and my alarm is telling me it's... Quarantime? In the inaugural third episode of the world's number one after-dinner pandemic-oriented podcast, the fam discusses elementary school flashbacks, a potentially prehistoric turtle, and the joys of claustrophobic movies. So hunker down and lend us your ears, because we know you're not going anywhere either.

Oh hey, didn't see you there. I don't know if everyone else's clocks are still working, but ours is and apparently it's quarantime! In this inaugural second episode, we discuss how we're complete and total posers, our family's wasp trauma, and a very special toy poodle. It's a good time.

Buckle up folks, cause it's quarantime! In the inaugural episode of America's favorite family-oriented pre-apocalypse podcast, you'll be privy to a multitude of exciting events, including: Actual therapeutic tips for being stuck in your house! Ways to accept and love what might at first be frightening (stink bugs mostly)! And most importantly, a shot gets shot. Get pumped y'all.