Queen City Poly

A viral tweet from late last year that continues to recirculate states, “The honeymoon phase doesn’t exist when you fall for someone who is dedicated to making you feel loved and admired the ENTIRE time you’re theirs. Stop normalizing the loss of affection in relationships, that is a choice, not a phase.” Check out episode 32 of Queen City Poly and listen in as we discuss this problematic pseudo advice for people seeking loving relationships. Find out what we think this quote gets right and what it gets wrong. What do you think? Does the honeymoon phase exist? Do we normalize the loss of affection in relationships?

There are many reasons why we need more (and better) polyamorous representation. In episode 31, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss 17 of them! Do you have any to add? What do you think of the list so far?

It’s hard to stay out of the way and watch a person you love navigate the perilous dating scene, making decisions differently than you would. It can be tempting to offer up all kinds of unsolicited advice and encouragement. You may believe you are just trying to protect them with helpful suggestions or suggesting new rules of engagement. In episode 30 of Queen City Poly, Coach Kay and Brian O'Neil discuss a scenario where a husband’s input on his wife’s dating life sets a dangerous tone towards codependency and inadvertent couple’s privilege, and how he might approach his feelings a different way.

In episode 29, Coach Kaey and Brian O’Neil discuss how one manages their ethically non-monogamous identities while balancing all of their other goals and struggles of everyday life. When you are not actively dating (and have less than two partners) do you feel less polyamorous? Where does dating rank on your list of priorities?

In episode 28 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey share some news about finger guns in the Charlotte comedy scene as well as Brian’s latest attempt at talking to a pretty lady. Then the duo discuss the recent controversy about B. Smith and Dan Gasby’s marriage. B. Smith and Dan Gasby have been public about their struggles following B’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis in 2013 and have even co-authored a book, titled, ‘Before I Forget: Love, Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer's’. Dan’s latest declaration of happiness in his new relationship with Alex Lerner is sparking quite a heated debate from those who do not condone any sort of non-monogamous relations, Alzheimer’s or no Alzheimer’s.

Read more about the controversial Twitter and Facebook backlash on Blavity.

Is it possible to love more than one person? What roles do jealousy and attraction play in relationships? What makes a relationship work? Jubilee Media brought polyamorous and monogamous people together to discuss their beliefs on love in season two, episode five of their show, Middle Ground. In episode 27 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey talk about their experience watching the episode and discuss the conversations and topics in the video.

In episode 24, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey ramble with their coffee about sexual orientation, bi and pan erasure, same sex attraction, sexual confidence and compatibility, porn, consent, gender norms, religious education in the south, marriage, children, and how Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey differ about their stance on dogs. We will not promise a coherent episode this time around, we are off on tangents, and we hope you enjoy the ride.