On this week’s episode, aptly named “The Episode About Nothing: Moistr8tion”, we are joined by our first guest, Ty. Ty offers a male perspective as we go over this week’s hot topics. And he did not hold back. It didn’t take long for the conversation to turn to dating, marriage, and gender roles. That’s where things get interesting!

 

Ty voiced his frustration with the tendency for black women to nag and be hard on black men. That’s where we had to explain that what is seen as nagging is actually us trying to be heard. The conversation progressed into gender roles when he asked, “do women cook in 2017?” and “do women submit anymore?”. What men have to understand is that the word submission requires a degree of trust and a mutual understanding that the man will support his family. Men should not expect submission just because they are the male.

 

Despite some of the controversial topics we touched on, this was an entertaining show, and Ty was a great sport. For being able to communicate, to understand, and partner with each other as men and women is key to us strengthening our relationships.And last but not least, we have to laugh together and listen to each other.

Hey queens hey!

 

The past week has been a tense and further confirmation that the conversation is not going anywhere and will not further progress until white and other allies that are non-POC step up and speak out against the injustices and violence against people of color. So we provide a place of relief and release with the 5th episode. So let’s reminisce on our good ol’ college days and the lessons that came with it.

 

Going off to college is an exciting time. It’s the first taste of freedom most of us have from our parents. That freedom brings about its own set of experiences. Being able to stay up and out as late makes you feel like a full ass adult. But the real maturity comes into play when you have to make it to class on time and keep up your grades while balancing other involvements and a social life. And then the next hump comes...what if you want to change your major? We are made to feel that we have to be certain of what we want to be in high school, find a major in college and stick with it! Thinking back, that is an insane amount of pressure to put on someone to pick a major and stick with it! College as well as the experiences that come with it, help you realize what you are really passionate about, and not so much what makes money. And there is nothing wrong with that. College opens your eyes to experiences and talents you may not have been aware of early on.

 

Outside of the academics, the social life that you build and experience is the most memorable part of the college experience. Dealing with roommates, going to parties and kickbacks, football games, and of course homecoming. Pretty sure there are some memories that arise from all of those social settings, or maybe not depending on how lit you were. On the other end of the social spectrum, college is where many of us evolve sexually and emotionally. We all have a relationship and/or heartbreak that shaped us from college. The “no strings attached” situationship showed you just how emotionally ready you are to deal with casual sex. You realize how much you can deal with while trying to protect your feelings.

 

College is one of the best times of your life. It prepares you for what is to come, but it is in no way determinant of how you will progress in life. One thing to remember: Please do not think you have to have life figured out after you receive your degree. Life will be your greatest teacher.

 

Join us as we throw it back with on our “College Nostalgia” episode.

“‘Be strong,’ they say. Support your men. Raise a man. Think like a man. Well, damn. I gotta do all that? Who’s out here working for me? Carrying my burden? Building me up when I get down? Nobody. Black women out here trying to save everybody, We still try. Try to help all y'all, even when we get nothing.

God forbid you let a sista like me help you out. No, you don’t want that. Don’t let me put you on my back when you fall, wipe the crust out of your eye, put a pep back in your step. Because when we do, you resent us for making you better, smarter, stronger; then drop us so you can be with someone basic. Someone without all that baggage you left us with. But we still try.”  - Mama Pope (Khandi Alexander, Scandal)

 

I’m not hostile, I’m passionate. It was the clap back heard across the interwebs as Amanda Seales eloquently explained white privilege to Caitlyn Jenner, who attempted to dismiss her perspective by accusing Seales of being hostile. Too often black women have to defend our presence and convince people that we have earned our place, all while fighting the label of the angry black woman. As Solange sings, “we got a lot to be mad about.”

 

Let’s be real, our angry is not new and it is not displaced. As slaves, we cooked and cleaned for the slave owner’s family. We took care of the slave owners children and gave them more love and affection that we barely had any left for own families. We were fetishized and sexually assaulted by our slave masters, and expected to deal with it in silence.  In today’s We have to work twice as much to get a fraction of what our white counterparts get paid. We watch mediocre non-people of color advance and thrive off of average credentials while all the degrees in the world only serve as our footstool to that glass ceiling.

 

To pour more salt on our wounds, we have to watch wypipo, specifically white women, appropriate our culture, our features, and styles, and capitalize of it. The Kardashians have built an empire on the backs of black women. Their copy and paste bodies are celebrated, while we have been flaunting these bomb ass figures and curves NATURALLY for years. Women like them are deemed fashion forward when they rock “boxer braids”...those are cornrows my G. We’ve been relaxing and straightening our hair for years to conform the what is considered “normal” and “appropriate” to excel and fit in socially.   And to add insult to injury, we have to deal with the black men who tear us down, and treat women like the Kardashians like gold. These black men are quick to say we are bitter and angry, which makes us unattractive and the reason they prefer white women. While nobody is checking for this type of f*ck boy, it’s frustrating and sad. Because black women are forever capping for black men. We are marching for black men. We are taking on the frustrations of black men and internalizing those issues when we have our own shit to sort out.

 

So maybe we are angry. We have damn good reason to be! But we are so much more than that. We are beautiful, resilient beings. We are loving and nurturing. We are strong, but vulnerable. Black women have not even been, nor will be monolithic. We are a force to be reckoned with, and we will not be silenced.

Join us as we discuss the "The Myth of The Angry Black Woman."

"What about your friends? Will they stand their ground?Will they let you down again What about your friends? Are they gonna be low down? Will they ever be around?Or will they turn their backs on you" - TLC "What About Your Friends" 1992

We all have heard a woman say "I don't like hanging with women because they are messy!" Maybe we have even said it ourselves. Although this isn't true for every woman,  we have to admit; women can be messy and clique-ish. Walking into a room full of black women is like walking out to an auction block to be examined to see if you are worthy of being inducted to the clique.  

Be pretty, but not too pretty. Be cool, but not too cool. Be funny, but not too funny, Be smart, but not too smart. Be sporty, but not too sporty. Be sexy, but not too sexy. Wear makeup, but not too much. Don't curse too much or you're not lady like. Don't be too sexually liberated...the list of do's and don't go on, and we are all guilty. We act as if the constant criticism from men isn't enough, so criticize our sisters by the same standards only harsher. We all know how tiring it is to try to measure up to someone else stupid standards, yet we still hold other women to them.

By being over critical, we rob ourselves of having genuine friendships and often settle for relationships as empty as our friendships. Why? Because, a woman who is too much of anything can feel a threat, especially if we think that we don't measure up. So we project our  insecurities onto her instead of telling our ego "YOU ARE ENOUGH!" A woman who owns her flaws is confident, exposes our lack of self-confidence. The key is to remember; you are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are all too something, and you just have to find yours you may be, too fearless, too kind, too happy, too encouraging, too loving, too bold, too beautiful. Whatever you too, own it. You have to dim another woman's light to shine brightly; we can all light up the world together

Join us as we discuss friendships among black women

Show Topics:

Why do women struggle in friendships?

 

Staying in unhealthy friendships

Making friends.

What roles should friends play?

Let's Talk about it

What makes an F*** Boy an F*** Boy?

How do we recover from the chaos an F*** Boy causes when he leaves?

We have all dated one. You say you're not sure what an F*** Boy is? He is the non-committal guy that strings you along in some compacity. He won't fully let you go, but he doesn't want you either. If he did he would be your boyfriend, propose, marry you. He blames his trust issues, finances etc on his inability to commit to you fully.  F*** Boy's don't like being alone, so he decides to suck you dry emotionally and in some cases financially. 

The "nice" guy, F*** Boy, will take you out here and there, but it will mostly be a lot of Netflix and chill involved. You are introduced as his friend or home girl, and people always ask why you two aren't together. He gives you hope there will be more, but what he is doing is using you to get stronger and more confident until he finds the woman he really wants

The s savage drops off the D and leaves like dust in the wind. He may send unsolicited d*** pics and loves asking for nudes. He texts you "wyd" after 10 because he knows that the only thing that is open that late is; bars, Waffle House, and legs. He preys on your loneliness and you know it, he doesn't give an ounce of hope, but you still want to change his mind. He isn't scared of looking like the villain he wears asshole title with honor. 

The Relationship  F*** Boy's get into relationships to avoid being lonely (all fuck boys do), but those relationships often consist of cheating, leeching (he has a half ass job or none at all), abuse, no goals, constant turn ups, and sometimes all of the above.

Drake, Bryson Tiller, Trey Songz and Chris Brown are just a few soundtracks to the F*** Boy lifestyle. The key to getting rid of the F*** boys in your life is to know how to spot signs of f***boyism before you get too attached.

Let's talk about it:

 

Black women are less likely than their white counterparts to see their attacker penalized if they press charges—especially if the attacker is white. A study has also shown that men found guilty of raping black women receive shorter sentences than men found guilty of raping white women.1 These are just some of the deterrents women of color face when deciding if they should come forward. If they perceive that there is little hope of justice, many simply try to forget the incident and move on.

According to Bureau of Justice Statistics, 67 percent of reported sexual assault victims are under 18 years old, and 34 percent of all victims are younger than 12. In fact, while the national statistic for women who will experience rape in their lifetimes is 1 in every 5  for girls (under 16) the number is 1 in every 4.