Queer Relationships, Queer Joy

Ah, New Relationship Energy (NRE)–that magical, butterflies-in-your-stomach phase at the start of a new relationship, where everything feels exciting and your new person seems absolutely perfect.  Maybe you're in this phase–love it or hate it–or maybe you're on the outside watching someone else experience this rush. Whichever side you’re on, we’re discussing how to navigate NRE.

You’ll hear

(10:23) How we experience NRE and how it impacts others

(18:22) NRE in non-monogamous relationships

(25:56) Change, jealousy, and trust issues

(28:39) Setting boundaries, self-care, and sitting with the unknown 

(39:51) Queer Joys

Let us know your thoughts on NRE over on Instagram!

We love the energy of the New Year, especially as a time for embracing new intentions and releasing old patterns. Today, we’re sharing how we can slow down to evaluate relationships, trust our intuition over societal expectations, and use the winter season for reflection and leaving behind what no longer serves us.

You’ll hear–

(11:19) Slowing down & the process of transformation.

(13:16) Rest, setting intentions, and personal growth during winter.

(21:26) Goal-setting with attunement and awareness.

(30:08) Relationship markers, grief, and New Year's “NRE”.

(34:39) Queer joys.

Let us know what intentions you have for the new year and connect with us over on Instagram.

In this end-of-year episode, we're taking a moment to celebrate the past two years of this podcast. It's hard to believe, but we're already at the midpoint of our current season and heading into a well-deserved mid-season break. As we wrap up another year, we're excited to dive into applying these end-of-year reflections to the realm of relationships.

You’ll hear about

• Nervous system regulation in dating and relationships
• Connection and communication challenges in the digital age
• “Slow burn”, year-end reflections, and setting intentions

Stay connected with us over the break @Queer_Relationships_Queer_Joy, and we’ll be back in the new year.

Let’s talk about relationship counseling! We've received questions from listeners about when it's time to think about couples counseling and how to make the most out of it. So, we’re exploring the nuances of couples therapy, its challenges, and its impact on addressing relationship issues.

You’ll hear

• Why you might seek support during transitional periods
• How to get the most out of couples counseling
• When to decide it may be time to seek out relationship therapy

Be sure to check out Connective Therapy Collective’s weekly drop-in group for polyamorous folks and connect with Keely and Melisa on IG.

In relationships where multiple partners are involved, we may make gestures to promote fairness and balance. But, is true fairness achievable when certain hierarchies naturally exist in non-monogamous dynamics? We’re discussing how to navigate these inherent imbalances.

You’ll hear

• How layers of hierarchies subtly exist within polyamorous relationships
• The importance of intentionality over guilt or obligation in approaching these conversations
• How to show self-compassion for those impulses to make everything “equal”

Come connect with us both on Instagram @Queer_Therapist_PDX  and @licensedwip or our podcast @Queer_Relationships_Queer_Joy

Slowing down in your relationships gives you the opportunity to make really intentional choices, with who you're connecting, how you're connecting, and what choices you're making especially during a time of pressure. In this episode, we’re exploring the dynamics of pacing and intentionality.

You’ll hear

• The importance of prioritizing self-care during this holiday season
• How pacing new relationship energy can lead to a more sustainable connection
• Why attention and curiosity can revitalize a relationship as you both grow & change

A few quick shoutouts

• Connective Therapy Collective is featured on the website, QueerPsych.com !
• For those in Portland, the new CTC building will be having a welcoming early next year, so keep an eye out for an announcement
• Melisa maintains a mysterious presence on Instagram and is available for individual therapy at therapeuticideas.com

Are you feeling bored and wanting more from the relationship(s) you’re in? The thrill of the chase fades, routines set in, and suddenly, things feel a bit predictable? In this episode, you’ll learn ways to add that zest back into your relationships – and trust us, it's not just about spicing things up in the bedroom.

You’ll hear

• Why relationships don't always have to follow a traditional "escalator" trajectory
• The role overstimulation in modern society plays in relationship boredom
• How self-reflection and understanding the core of your boredom can pave the way for revitalizing connections

We’d love to hear what you’re doing to shake up your relationship or if you’re thinking about trying a digital detox. Write us over on Instagram or Tiktok.

From defining relationship dynamics to navigating multiple connections, agreements ensure that everyone's values and desires are respected and honored. We’re joined again by Heather Simpson to talk about polyamory, agreements, and communication.

You’ll hear about

• The importance of check-ins and agreements in non-monogamous relationships
• Having open and explicit conversations about sexual health & sexual preferences
• Why some relationships could benefit from a written agreement over a verbal one

If this episode resonates with you, we’d love to chat with you more about this topic over on Instagram @Queer_Relationships_Queer_Joy

Relationships should be about developing connections, not just seeking stability. In this episode, we’re exploring the idea of being in a long-term relationship for healthy reasons, rather than relying on the other person for stability or other unfruitful reasons.

You’ll learn

• How to know when you’re at the place where you’re ready to leave
• Why it’s important to create explicit agreements and consent in your relationship
• Where to find the balance between being selfish and selfless as a partner

If this episode resonates with you, we’d love to chat with you more about this topic over on Instagram @Queer_Relationships_Queer_Joy

Join us for a laid back conversation with fellow queer therapist, Heather Simpson as we delve into the world of queer polyamory, platonic relationships, and modern dating.

You’ll hear about

• Fashion as a tool for queer self-expression and dopamine dressing
• Decentering romantic relationships and couples privilege
• Love is blind and polyamory in dating shows

If you’d like to learn more about Heather and her practice, you can visit www.mindfulinquirytherapy.com.

And if you’re looking for a queer, poly therapist in Portland, Oregon, or you live in California and want to do teletherapy, go to Melisa’s website, www.therapeuticideas.com.