Don't mess up their Jam!

3 Things you can do to Win Their Respect when entering into a relationship when a child(ren) is already there.

1. Don't take Dad's place
2. Win the child's heart
3. Respect the system and relationship 

In Relationships where there is a child involved and the Relationship can longer exist, how should you treat your Ex?

Time and time again, typically we've seen Ex Wives or Ex Girlfriends make it a point to make the lives of their child's Father a living hell. They threaten to withhold their child from them, or bad mouth them in front of their child and "take them to the ringers" and as far as Child Support is concerned. But, there's a different way. One that allows the Ex to lead their relationship with their child. And there's so much freedom with it.

So what do you do now? How do you move forward now that life looks a bit different than what it used to look like? Especially after Mental Health issues have now entered into your life and it's out in the open?

Some of the things we chat about in this Episode is:

a) Learn to adjust with your partner

b) It's ok to look after yourself

As far as the Roles and Responsibilities are concerned, who does what when Mental Health is involved? It's a big question to answer, and when answered correctly, could launch your relationships into a healthy state that's worth the hard discussions about it.

There are 2 people involved, the person who is struggling and the one who is 'healthy'. However in some cases, like ours, both may struggle with Mental Health issues which creates more conversations to be had.

The one very key and important distinction when it comes to Roles and Responsibilities is that the one who is'healthy' one is not qualified to provide the proper help and guidance. That is, of course, unless they are a trained professional. But that's an edge case situation.

It is the Responsibility of the one who is struggling to seek the proper care and counseling, and it's the Role of the "healthy" one to provide whatever support is needed.

In talking about Mental Health in Marriages, there's a question you need to tackle when one of you, or both of you,  decides to finally admit that you are struggling mentally.

And that question is this:

"What does our NEW normal look like?"

We chat about our journey in finding our new normal and how you can get better clarity around this hard question.

We hope you enjoy this episode!

Mental Health Problems are very real. And although neither of us are trained psychologists, we have been dealing with this long battle for many years now. Adjustments have needed to be made, capacities have been altered and it's wreaked havoc in our marriage...but we're managing it, successfully.

 In this Episode, we chat about one of the main things we have learned to do to not only manage the Mental Health struggles but also to live with it and keep our marriage strong and connected. 

It's way too easy to keep things hidden in the closet. Some even choose to hide them behind closed doors or even swept under the rug. That way you never have to deal with them right? Besides, it'll probably just go away over time, no one will notice and it's too hard to talk about them anyways. It's probably easier if we just leave them alone. Wrong!

You only really have 2 options:

1. Ignore the hard stuff at all costs and hope they all go away
2. Deal with them early on and build a great foundation from there

Regardless which option you choose, it will be painful, hurtful and extremely difficult. The difference is, do you want it to stick around for the long haul, or simply take your hits and push through them as soon as you can?

When you first plan to get married, kids are usually not the first thing you think about or even discuss. There's the actual wedding planning itself, perhaps traveling the world comes into the conversation, of course there are careers and when all that is done, kids come into the picture. And from our experience, the aspect of raising kids is one of the hardest yet most rewarding.

There are SO many aspects of raising kids that one would wonder where to even begin. Things such as babies, diapers, toddlers, school, teenagers sports, jobs, activities and the list goes on. But what about the subject of dating?  When do you even start talking about that? Before they start dating or while they are dating? From our point of view and through our experience, we believe it's both.

There are so many things we can do alone. Play a game of Solitaire, go to the gym to workout, travel, and even bake a cake. But there’s certainly one thing you should never do solo, and that’s your relationship with your partner. Think of it. Every day, you both venture in this thing called life, and every day is one new step.

• The first time you go on a date
• The day you propose
• The moment you take your baby from the hospital
• …and the list is endless

Now you can definitely learn as you go. Which is not a terrible way to go about it. Learning from your mistakes, adjusting as you go and of course, venturing into the new and experiencing it all. For years and years, many people have lived this way and have been successful at it.

But, what if you didn’t have to do it this way?

What if there was another option? A way that would allow you to navigate through life avoiding some of the hardships and pain alongside people who have gone through the same experiences. And those people would be in the form of either a Counselor, Mentor, or even both working together.

In this Episode, we talk about the differences between a Counselor and a Mentor and how they both can help you get through life.

If you are in a relationship right now and are wanting to take it to the next level, consider finding and connecting with either a Counselor, a Mentor, or better yet, both!

If the idea of a Mentor is something you would like to explore, please consider us as an option. We now have a Resource available to you and would love to chat with you about the possibilities of us working together.

If you’ve ever heard our story, you’ll know that our Mentors have played a HUGE role in saving us from divorce early on in our marriage.

Click below if you would like us to be your Mentors and walk this journey called Marriage with you.

Find a Mentor

Constantly sitting on your relationship issues after you've dealt with them is a sure fire way of never moving forward. It's almost guaranteed that the life you desire will always stay within reach if you don't have a plan in place to get past your current situation.

After you have discussed and gone through all the pain and heartache of betrayal, what next? What are the next steps you both should take? Here are 3 things that we have done that you may want to start with:

• Spend time, away if possible. 
• Plan for check-ins. 
• Avoid the word 'Divorce'.