Kevin Wash started us off with a story that too many of us had experienced. He was asked for a proposal and the potential client kept coming back to him for more information and in the end, they decided they had enough to just do it themselves and not pay him. (Further into the conversation he said, “Needy means greedy” and that sums it up well.)

In a positive turn, they did have to come back to him six months later and he charged them 50% more. (Not everyone is that lucky when it comes to people stealing their proposals)

Cami Travis-Groves was up next and she talked about the importance of listening to your gut. When you need income, it is easy to override your gut and take a job you know isn’t a good fit for you (I know I’ve done it).

Coach M J Tolan echoed both Kevin and Cami by sharing a story of not listening to his gut and having someone steal his content.

We talked about people asking detailed questions without wanting to pay for answers and looking out for people who want to micromanage you.

What does it mean to you for a client or boss to be “needy” and how would you notice it before you get too deep into the situation?

Connect with the panelists:

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Cami Travis-Groves: https://www.linkedin.com/in/goodjujucami/

Recovering graphic designer. Now a transformational coach for creatives her third book is titled Inner Growth Workbook for Creatives and her podcast is called Deep Dive coaching for creatives.

Coach M J Tolan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/motivationalspeakertolan/

Speaker, author and entrepreneur with 35 years experience. He has lived in 12 countries and is the host of the podcast Mission I’m Possible.

Known as the Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes. Mental MacGyver.com

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

All three of the panelists started by saying they try to be curious first. What else is going on in the person’s life that they aren’t able to do the thing they said they would? What support might they need? How can we bring this person around so they can do the thing?

Try to meet people where they are.

There is also something to be said for the relationship you have with the other person. If I know someone’s character, I’m going to respond with that in mind. If I have an appointment with someone I don’t know and they don’t show up, I’ll just send a note and leave it to them to come back to me.

Ed Samuel added that you can send gentle nudges. Something that says, “hey, I was expecting this based on our conversation.”

Both Chelle Shapiro and Jennifer Nelson talked about being recovering people pleasers and using or dealing with The Dirty Yes.

We even got a little bit into sales and how you deal with people who say they will be back in touch but then aren’t.

How do you deal with people who say yes but then just don’t?

Connect with the panelists:

Jennifer Nelson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenwatleynelson/

She is the VP of Network Relations at Community FoodBank of NJ, as well as a Speaker and Entrepreneur

Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/

Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn’t Selfish.

Ed Samuel: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edsamuel/

Is a career coach at Sam Nova where he helps mid to senior leaders get to a better place, whether they are working or in transition.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as the Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes. Mental MacGyver.com

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

Fallon Siniscarco started us off by talking about how cliques can make someone feel like they are superior or better than other people.

Kim Clark went next talking about cliques in the workplace and how the use of acronyms and are jargon that outsiders don’t understand could be a way to notice you’re in a clique.

Stewart Wiggins then asked a provocative question – Are cliques a bad thing or are they just a derivative of a group of people having common interests? He went on to say he thought a clique could be a positive thing.

I disagreed saying that a clique by definition excludes and even trying to make people feel badly about not being included.

In the end I have a few questions for you – Are cliques always negative? Have you ever been in one? If so, what told you that you were?

Connect with the panelists:

Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall to study the same.

Kim Clark: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deicommunicationskimclark/

She is a Speaker & Consultant helping communicators and content creators learn and apply Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion to engage leaders & employees. She is also the Co-author of Amazon Best Seller the Conscious Communicator

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as the Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes. Mental MacGyver.com

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

When I first started my business, I thought I had to be uber professional. I shared almost nothing about me, my life or my story with clients or potential clients. But it felt very sterile and it didn’t make people feel safe or like they could trust me.

Now I am more open and share stories about my past but nothing about what is going on now because I don’t want my clients to feel like they have to support or manage my stress in any way (that would be role reversal and isn’t good).

I wondered how other people approached it.

Dr Bob Choat started us off by asking a good question: “What is the purpose of even talking about ourselves?” If it will help the client in some way, great. If you’re just talking to hear yourself speak – don’t.

Kevin Wash went next and said that mostly the only things he shares is that is he married to an amazing woman and has three fur babies, two dogs and a cat. That’s really all people need to know to learn that he’s a warm and good guy (which is true).

Debra Caicedo took it a different way and said she shares a lot of her personal life with people because she believes it shows her passion for helps her connect with the excitement her clients feel about the event they are creating.

We noticed towards the end of the conversation that the women seem to be more open and the guys keep things more to themselves. That is in line with cultural norms. I wonder if that is generally true or just here in our N of four.

How much of you personally do you share in your work environment? Have you ever known someone who shares too much?

Connect with the panelists:

VP of Sponsorship Sales and Development at Experience Epic an events production agency

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD, was a stage hypnotist, he is now an executive performance coach and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics 

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as the Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes. Mental MacGyver.com

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

This is an interesting question to ask when I do communication and conflict resolution workshops because most people have never thought about their conflict style per se.

Fortunately, my panelists were able to articulate their styles.

Brandon Mahoney started us off by sharing that his style has evolved over time (mind has too – a lot!) and he has settled on a somewhat collaborative style. Try to work together to find a resolution rather than against each other.

As an attorney Elissa Hecker has situations where another lawyer might partner with her in one situation and then be opposing counsel in another so it’s important to her to keep things professional and even. And personally, she tries not to get too hung up in being right because it can damage the relationship.

Jim Lee was by far the most zen of all of us. He wants to be curious and understand what is happening so the conversation can move forward towards resolution.

The book I mentioned in this conversation is The Ultimate Guide to Handling Every Disagreement Every Time. Available on Amazon. (https://a.co/d/1B42Kea)

Do you have a conflict style? How did you develop it?

Connect with the panelists:

Financial futurist at StratFI he has 30 years experience. Author of the book, Foresight Investing:  A Complete Guide to Finding Your Next Great Trade 

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

Elissa D. Hecker: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elissa-d-hecker-48467711/

She is the Go-To General Counsel, Collaborative Partner, and Creative Problem Solver, for businesses and the Entertainment and Arts industries.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as the Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

This conversation was WAY harder than I expected it to be. We have all be in many situations where there was a conflict involved several people. But the only real helpful solution is to be proactive.

Todd Karges brought it up towards the middle of the discussion. You have to have an upfront agreement (I call it a Team Communication Fingerprint) so you have something to hold people accountable to.

Otherwise –

Jim Tam pointed out that it depends on your role in the situation. If you are the leader, you can somewhat take charge and made decisions. But if it is an issue with a group of your peers, the only option is to try to get everyone’s opinions and help create a consensus.

Rick Alcantara shared a situation on an athletic team he was coaching where a player simply wasn’t pulling his weight so Rick enlisted one of his teammates to address the problem.

I think it depends if the conflict is task related or a personal thing. For tasks you can all sit down in a room and hash out who is doing what in a logical way. When personal feelings get involved, it’s a lot harder.

Do you have any tried and true go-to methods for dealing with conflict involving multiple people if there wasn’t a team agreement upfront?

Connect with the panelists:

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/  

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets.  He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as the Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

Racquelle Pakutz started us off with the warm fuzzies of feeling good about putting good into the world. Being a heartfelt leader, she believes it comes back to her. She added the concrete benefit of growing her network.

Jim Tam stepped up next to say the benefit he gets for his thought leadership, particularly on LinkedIn, is that people either validate what he is thinking or challenge him and help him grow.

Max Lambright gave the metaphor of our lives being like a movie production. There is an entire cast and crew that is involved. And that there are three steps – do, teach and leave behind. He also agreed with Racquelle that life is a circle. Put out good things and good things come back to you.

I had to yes, and to that. You can wait for the circle to come around or you can leverage what you are doing to go even bigger things. I’m all for taking action.

One thing I have learned and can always do better – I need to put my offer out there. It took me years and several hundred Quick Hits before I even started introducing myself and saying what I do at the top of each conversation.

Of course I’m going to get more out of my thought leadership if I ask for what I want.

What did we miss? How do you leverage your thought leadership to your benefit?

Connect with the panelists:

He is an 8-time President and CEO, and the current Co-founder and CEO of The Executive's Chair, a subscription and peer based online community where current CEO's and next generation aspiring leaders can receive the support, mentoring, coaching, and peer to peer interaction they need and deserve.

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Racquelle Pakutz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/racquelle-pakutz/

Owner of Zen Freight solutions where they do 3rd party transportation, the Founder of the podcast Trucker Talks, and an author who just released her second book, Unleashing your soul level magic

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as the Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

Dina Perreault started us off by putting a stake in the sand saying that she sees sugarcoating as misleading, potentially manipulative and condescending. She would much rather you come right out and say exactly what you need to say. Be diplomatic, sure. But sugar coating only belongs on a doughnut.

Don Gleason quoted Dave Ramsey, “To be unclear is to be unkind.” He went further to say he feels people use sugarcoating to avoid saying no when they should and that it is cruel to sugar coat rather than just being diplomatically honest.

Annette Richmond agreed saying she doesn’t like sugarcoating either. She would much rather someone be kind, frank and honest.

You can see how often in this conversation all of us are nodding along as someone says, “I would rather you just give it to me straight than sugarcoat it because otherwise I might not get the true message at all.”

Do you think sugarcoating is just a way to avoid conflict?

Connect with the panelists:

Personal brand U. Personal brand strategist – helping people look 3-D in 2-D spaces like LinkedIn.

Don L. Gleason: https://www.linkedin.com/in/don-gleason/

President of Achieve New Heights focused on executive Career Transition and leadership as well as director of leadership and mentor at Society of American military engineers San Antonio post

Dina Perreault: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dinaperreault/

Vice President of Human Resources at The Faulkner Automotive Group | Secretary PA SHRM | Global Advisory Board Member – Achieve Next

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as the Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

Of course, any conversation about cliques has to have a reference to the movie Mean Girls and that is how this conversation started. But, as we explained further into the conversation, cliques aren’t just about women/girls.  Cliques are a human condition.

Elissa Hecker started us off by saying that cliques is a derogatory term and that they are exclusionary. Some people are not allowed in.

Bruce Wayne added that they are divisive and deleterious to teamwork.

Judy Musa talked about how thinking about cliques took her right back to middle school where she felt left out and not included. She also shared how she has tried to teach her children to let people who are different from them into their groups.

I shared some of my work about how men/boys are more likely to get into a fist fight and women/girls are taught to use relational aggression.

There is a funny story about that: When I was in grade school I heard my dad say “Boys are so much easier. They will just get into a fist fight and get it over with. Girls will hold a grudge for 20 years.”

I took that to mean I should solve problems with my fists and got sent to the principle’s office for hitting a boy named Danny who was mean to me.

I’m not sure we did a great job of answering the question. What do you think makes a group a clique?

Connect with the panelists:

Founder and managing partner at MoJJo Collaborative Communications where she does Strategic Communications and is a Content Creator and Social Connector

Bruce Wayne Meleski, PhD: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bruce-wayne-meleski-phd-8b18118/

Doing leading edge work into the neuroscience of anxiety because modern life has dysregulated our nervous system and he helps reset it.

Elissa D. Hecker: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elissa-d-hecker-48467711/

She is the Go-To General Counsel, Collaborative Partner, and Creative Problem Solver, for businesses and the Entertainment and Arts industries

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as the Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

It is a common narcissistic trait – they get you to trust them so you will feel comfortable sharing your deepest stories and even trauma with them. Then they use that information against you.

I have personal experience with this as my ex-husband was the king of this technique. Something I didn’t think to mention during the conversation, if someone is sharing other people’s secrets, trauma or stories with you, you can be sure they will share yours with other people. That is a HUGE red flag.

Don Gleason started this conversation off with a story where he was being told it was safe to speak his mind but he KNEW it wasn’t. He couldn’t get out of the situation and ended up being chewed out for speaking the truth.

Dina Perreault says she watches out for questions that are “leading the witness.” People who are trying to pry out specific information and looking for a fight. Later in the discussion she gave the tip of “okaying” your way out of a conversation. Just start agreeing until they stop talking.

Annette Richmond added that people who are trying to draw you out, almost badgering you for information might be trying to find a way to turn your words against you.

Watch out for people who tell you you are special, better than other people, that you and they have a bond and you can tell them your secrets. I’m not saying those types of bonds don’t exist. I am saying they take time to form. Be wary of someone who immediately love bombs you and wants to know the intimate details of your life.

How do you catch people trying to dig for personal details to use against you?

Connect with the panelists:

Personal brand U. Personal brand strategist – helping people look 3-d in two D spaces like LinkedIn.

Don L. Gleason: https://www.linkedin.com/in/don-gleason/

President of Achieve New Heights focused on executive Career Transition and leadership as well as director of leadership and mentor at Society of American military engineers San Antonio post

Dina Perreault: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dinaperreault/

Vice President of Human Resources at The Faulkner Automotive Group | Secretary PA SHRM | Global Advisory Board Member – Achieve Next

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as the Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com