Quietly Autistic at Last

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What happens when a supposedly fun workplace activity becomes an overwhelming sensory experience?

In this episode of Quietly Autistic at Last, Dr. Allison Sucamele recounts four excruciating minutes of loud music, group body percussion, and forced enthusiasm during a professional development meeting—an experience that nearly prompted her to leave work altogether.

Drawing on research and lived experience, she explores sensory overload, autistic masking, ADHD, workplace infantilization, and the exhausting expectation that neurodivergent adults must justify ordinary acts of self-regulation.

From mandatory team-building exercises to being publicly questioned for simply standing up, this episode challenges conventional ideas about participation, professionalism, and inclusion.

An activity isn't truly inclusive when participation comes at the expense of someone's nervous system.

Research and Show Notes

1. MacLennan, K., O’Brien, S., & Tavassoli, T. (2022). In Our Own Words: The Complex Sensory Experiences of Autistic Adults. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 52, 3061–3075. This study explored how 49 autistic adults described their sensory experiences, including the roles of control, tolerance, and other people. Read the study
2. Jurek, L., et al. (2025). Sensory Processing in Individuals With Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Compared With Control Populations: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 64(10), 1132–1147. The review included 30 studies and 5,374 participants. Seven studies focused on adults, and results varied considerably across studies. Read the review
3. Hull, L., et al. (2017). “Putting on My Best Normal”: Social Camouflaging in Adults with Autism Spectrum Conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47, 2519–2534. This qualitative study examined how 92 autistic adults described camouflaging, including their reasons for doing it and the exhaustion some reported. Read the study

Video References

• Music Teacher Message, Beat It (Michael Jackson) Body Percussion. The creator describes this version as an upper elementary music activity with snaps, stomps, pats, claps, and rests. YouTube

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Knowing how to do something doesn't mean you have the energy, resources, or capacity to keep doing it.

In this episode of Quietly Autistic at Last, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the often-invisible difference between competence and capacity for late-diagnosed autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD women. Through personal reflections, everyday examples, and practical strategies, she examines the exhaustion of maintaining responsibilities while struggling with household tasks, sensory overload, and the pressure to appear capable.

Discover why asking for help isn't a failure of independence, why another productivity system isn't always the answer, and how meaningful support can make room for something beyond simply surviving your responsibilities.

Being capable doesn't mean you have unlimited capacity—and needing help doesn't make you any less capable.

References, Resources, & Further Reading 

 1. Raymaker, D. M., et al. (2020). Having All of Your Internal Resources Exhausted Beyond Measure and Being Left with No Clean-Up Crew: Defining Autistic Burnout. Autism in Adulthood, 2(2), 132–143. A foundational qualitative study examining chronic exhaustion, reduced functioning, and the mismatch between expectations and available support. Read the research. 

2. Laziness Does Not Exist — Devon Price, PhD. Explores how productivity expectations and moral judgments about effort can contribute to shame and exhaustion.

3. How to Keep House While Drowning — KC Davis, LPC. A compassionate, practical examination of household care, executive functioning, and separating personal worth from domestic productivity.

4. Unmasking Autism — Devon Price, PhD. Explores masking, authenticity, and the psychological costs of continually adapting to external expectations.

Support Resources 

• California In-Home Supportive Services (IHSS): Information about eligibility for assistance with daily living activities, including certain household needs. Eligibility is assessed individually and generally requires Medi-Cal eligibility. 
• California Department of Social Services
• California Department of Developmental Services: Information about regional center eligibility, assessments, and disability-related supports. 
• CA Department of Developmental Services
• Supported Living Services: Information about individualized supports for eligible adults with developmental disabilities. 
• CA Department of Developmental Services

Disclaimer: This episode is intended for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized medical or mental health care. Persistent or worsening exhaustion deserves professional evaluation and support.

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What happens when you're meeting every expectation at work but have little energy left for your own life?

In this episode of Quietly Autistic at Last, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the often-invisible challenges of work–life balance for late-diagnosed autistic adults and those with ADHD or AuDHD. From masking and sensory overload to autistic burnout, workplace accommodations, and the struggle to reclaim personal time, this conversation examines the difference between having free time and having the capacity to enjoy it.

Through research, personal reflections, and practical strategies, discover why genuine balance isn't simply about managing your schedule—it's about creating a sustainable life that leaves room for rest, creativity, connection, and joy.

Having enough energy to do your job shouldn't mean having none left to live your life.

References & Resources

1. Bargiela, S., Steward, R., & Mandy, W. (2016). The experiences of late-diagnosed women with autism spectrum conditions: An investigation of the female autism phenotype. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 46, 3281–3294.
   https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-016-2872-8
   Interviews with fourteen women explored missed recognition, camouflaging, and identity. This small qualitative sample does not represent every late-diagnosed adult.
2. National Institute of Mental Health. (n.d.). ADHD in adults: 4 things to know.
   https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/adhd-what-you-need-to-know
   Official information on adult ADHD, missed childhood recognition, assessment, and treatment. Late diagnosis does not mean ADHD first began in adulthood.
3. Hull, L., Petrides, K. V., Allison, C., Smith, P., Baron-Cohen, S., Lai, M.-C., & Mandy, W. (2017). “Putting on my best normal”: Social camouflaging in adults with autism spectrum conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47, 2519–2534.
   https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3166-5
   Qualitative accounts from ninety-two autistic adults describe camouflaging strategies, motivations, and perceived consequences. These findings do not establish causation or population rates.
4. Raymaker, D. M., Teo, A. R., Steckler, N. A., Lentz, B., Scharer, M., Delos Santos, A., Kapp, S. K., Hunter, M., Joyce, A., & Nicolaidis, C. (2020). “Having all of your internal resources exhausted beyond measure and being left with no clean-up crew”: Defining autistic burnout. Autism in Adulthood, 2(2), 132–143.
   https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2019.0079
   Community-based exploratory research describing autistic burnout and participants’ perspectives on contributing conditions and recovery. It does not establish a diagnostic test or prove a particular treatment works.
5. Lauder, K., McDowall, A., & Tenenbaum, H. R. (2022). A systematic review of interventions to support adults with ADHD at work—Implications from the paucity of context-specific research for theory and practice. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 893469.
   https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.893469
   Reviews interventions relevant to work and highlights limited research conducted in actual workplace settings. It does not specifically study work–life balance in late-diagnosed AuDHD adults.
6. Job Accommodation Network. (n.d.). Autism spectrum; Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
   Autism accommodation guidance
   ADHD accommodation guidance
   Practical accommodation options organized around functional difficulties. These resources offer guidance rather than evidence from clinical trials.

• Job Accommodation Network: askjan.org
  Free, confidential guidance on workplace accommodations and the Americans with Disabilities Act in the United States.
• National Institute of Mental Health: Adult ADHD information
  Information on assessment, treatment, and finding support.
• CHADD: chadd.org
  ADHD education and resources through the National Resource Center on ADHD.
• Attention Deficit Disorder Association: add.org
  Adult ADHD resources, including virtual support groups and a professional directory. Check current availability and fees.
• Autistic Self Advocacy Network: autisticadvocacy.org
  Autistic-led advocacy and resources addressing autonomy, access, and inclusion.

Research note: This episode brings together qualitative autism research, an ADHD intervention review, and official clinical and accommodation resources. Research specifically examining work–life balance in late-diagnosed AuDHD adults remains limited. The suggested routines, capacity notes, and communication scripts are optional practical experiments rather than validated treatments.

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Why do we sometimes mistake authority for accuracy? And why can asking a reasonable question feel like an act of rebellion?

In this episode of Quietly Autistic at Last, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the complicated relationship between autism, ADHD, AuDHD, authority figures, conformity, and independent thinking. From being labeled “difficult” for questioning inconsistencies to masking disagreement out of fear of consequences, we examine how power dynamics can shape our ability to trust our own judgment.

Blending psychological research, personal experiences, and practical insights, this conversation explores the difference between authority, expertise, and accuracy—and why respecting someone's position doesn't require believing they're incapable of being wrong.

Questioning authority isn't necessarily disrespect. Sometimes, it's simply discernment.

🎙️ Quietly Autistic at Last — New episodes every Tuesday. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and other major podcast platforms.

Instagram: @quietlyautisticatlastpodcast

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice. If you're experiencing emotional distress in the U.S., call or text 988 for support.

References & Resources 

1. Lazzaro, S. C., et al. (2019; first published online 2018). Social Conformity in Autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 49, 1304–1315.

A memory experiment with 22 autistic and 22 non-autistic adults found similar susceptibility to inaccurate group answers. It did not test workplace hierarchy or obedience to authority.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6394587/

DOI: 10.1007/s10803-018-3809-1.

2. Kobayashi et al. (2026). Informational and Normative Influence on Conformity in Autism. Autism Research.

A preregistered study of 30 autistic and 30 non-autistic adults found task-dependent results; exploratory subgroup findings require caution. Lower conformity did not necessarily improve accuracy.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/aur.70284

DOI: 10.1002/aur.70284.

3. Hull, L., et al. (2017). “Putting on My Best Normal”: Social Camouflaging in Adults with Autism Spectrum Conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47, 2519–2534.

Qualitative accounts from 92 autistic adults describe motives, strategies, and costs of camouflaging. This design explores experience rather than proving causation.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28527095/

DOI: 10.1007/s10803-017-3166-5.

4. Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: the ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887.

A theoretical account of reciprocal difficulties in understanding across differing experiences. The episode’s application to authority is interpretive.

https://doi.org/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008

5. Crompton et al. (2025). Information transfer within and between autistic and non-autistic people.

A multisite Registered Report with 311 participants found no significant information-transfer difference between chain types in its tasks; rapport patterns were more nuanced. It did not replicate an earlier selective mixed-neurotype transfer disadvantage.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12283400/

Earlier study: Crompton et al. (2020).

https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361320919286

6. Steindl, C., et al. (2015). Understanding Psychological Reactance: New Developments and Findings. Zeitschrift für Psychologie, 223(4), 205–214.

Review of freedom threats and motivation to restore freedom. Reactance is not unique to autism, and resistance alone does not establish that an instruction is wrong.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4675534/

DOI: 10.1027/2151-2604/a000222.

7. Autistic Self Advocacy Network: Supported Decision-Making.

Accessible explanations of assistance that preserves a disabled person’s role in making choices. Use the conceptual material; legal arrangements vary by location, and the page’s state-law list should not be treated as current legal advice.

https://autisticadvocacy.org/actioncenter/issues/choices/sdm/

8. AASPIRE Healthcare Toolkit.

Materials for autistic adults, supporters, and healthcare providers, including communication and accommodation planning.

https://autismandhealth.org/

Background: Nicolaidis et al. (2016), The Development and Evaluation of an Online Healthcare Toolkit for Autistic Adults and their Primary Care Providers.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5023610/

9. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (United States).

Call or text 988, or use online chat for crisis support.

https://988lifeline.org/get-help/what-to-expect/

Additional Show Notes

A title can signal responsibility and relevant expertise without guaranteeing accuracy. This episode explores why questions can be mistaken for disrespect, what autism research does and does not show about conformity, and how listeners can seek clarity, preserve agency, and choose safer ways to respond.

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Why do autistic people so often have to explain everything—from needing written instructions or a quiet workspace to leaving early, sitting alone, wearing comfortable clothes, or simply saying no?

In this episode of Quietly Autistic at Last, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores what she calls the autistic explanation burden: the exhausting work of repeatedly translating, defending, and justifying your needs and everyday choices to other people. We look at the hidden labor beneath self-advocacy, the difference between curiosity and scrutiny, how constant explaining can overlap with masking, and why more information does not always lead to more understanding.

Sometimes the most important boundary is realizing that not everyone is entitled to an explanation.

References & Resources 

Hull, L., Petrides, K. V., Allison, C., Smith, P., Baron-Cohen, S., Lai, M.-C., & Mandy, W. (2017). “Putting on my best normal”: Social camouflaging in adults with autism spectrum conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47(8), 2519–2534.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3166-5

This qualitative study explored autistic adults’ experiences of camouflaging, including masking and compensatory strategies. Participants described consequences including exhaustion and effects on their sense of self.

Autism, Masking & Self-Advocacy Resources

Job Accommodation Network (JAN)
Free, confidential guidance about disability accommodations in the workplace, including information for employees and employers navigating accommodation requests.
Job Accommodation Network (JAN)

National Autistic Society
Information and resources about autism, masking, sensory differences, communication, employment, and support.
National Autistic Society

Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN)
Autistic-led advocacy organization offering resources centered on disability rights, autonomy, accessibility, inclusion, and self-advocacy.
Autistic Self Advocacy Network

Crisis & Emotional Support

If this episode brings up difficult emotions or you need immediate emotional support, you do not have to navigate that moment alone.

🇺🇸 United States: Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Call Samaritans at 116 123, free, 24 hours a day. For urgent mental-health support through the NHS, call 111 and select the mental-health option.
Samaritans
NHS — Where to get urgent help for mental health

🇦🇺 Australia: Call Lifeline at 13 11 14. You can also text 0477 13 11 14 or use Lifeline’s online crisis chat. Phone, text, and chat support are available 24/7.
Lifeline Australia

Compact Support Footer

Need support? 🇺🇸 988 | 🇬🇧 Samaritans 116 123 | 🇦🇺 Lifeline 13 11 14

Quietly Autistic at Last is intended for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical or mental-health care.

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What happens when a late autism, ADHD, or AuDHD diagnosis finally gives you a clearer reflection, but the people around you keep insisting the old mirrors were right?

In The Funhouse of Late-Diagnosed AuDHD: When the Mirrors Lie, the Walls Move, & You Finally See Yourself, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the complicated emotional landscape of late diagnosis through the metaphor of a funhouse filled with distorted mirrors, shifting walls, and confusing exits.

This episode examines masking, internalized stigma, family invalidation, psychological projection, grief, distorted self-perception, and the gradual work of separating who you are from who you were told you were.

A diagnosis may give you a new map, but it cannot guarantee that everyone around you will accept it. Sometimes self-understanding means learning which reflections to question, which walls to stop walking into, and which exits you are allowed to take.

🎙️ Quietly Autistic at Last Podcast
Hosted by Dr. Allison Sucamele

The diagnosis wasn’t a box. It was a mirror.

Episode References & Further Reading

Research references for show notes and further exploration. These studies describe group-level findings and individual experiences; they are not diagnostic tools.

Hull, L., Petrides, K. V., Allison, C., Smith, P., Baron-Cohen, S., Lai, M.-C., & Mandy, W. (2017). “Putting on my best normal”: Social camouflaging in adults with autism spectrum conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47(8), 2519–2534. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3166-5 PubMed

Leedham, A., Thompson, A. R., Smith, R., & Freeth, M. (2020). ‘I was exhausted trying to figure it out’: The experiences of females receiving an autism diagnosis in middle to late adulthood. Autism, 24(1), 135–146. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361319853442 PubMed

Lilley, R., Lawson, W., Hall, G., Mahony, J., Clapham, H., Heyworth, M., Arnold, S., Trollor, J. N., Yudell, M., & Pellicano, E. (2023). “Peas in a pod”: Oral history reflections on autistic identity in family and community by late-diagnosed adults. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 53(3), 1146–1161. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-022-05667-z Springer Nature

Mair, A. P. A., Gonzalez-Figueroa, M., McConachie, D., Goodall, K., & Gillespie-Smith, K. (2026). Grief, relief, and belief: A social media study on late identification of neurodivergence. Autism, 30(5), 1344–1359. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613261437916 PubMed Central (PMC)

Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887. https://doi.org/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008 DOI

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or mental health care. Individual experiences with autism, ADHD, AuDHD, and late diagnosis vary.

Need support? If you are in the U.S. and experiencing emotional distress or a mental health crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Support is available 24/7.

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What happens when you finally understand yourself, but your family refuses to acknowledge your diagnosis?

In this episode of Quietly Autistic at Last, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the emotional impact of having your autism, ADHD, or AuDHD concealed, minimized, or replaced with explanations that feel more comfortable for others.

From the difference between privacy and secrecy to family stigma, invalidation, and the grief of being misunderstood, this episode examines what happens when the people closest to you struggle to accept the language you have finally found for yourself.

Your diagnosis is not something to be ashamed of. Your absence is not rejection. And your truth deserves to be respected.

🎧 New episodes every Tuesday. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you listen to podcasts.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional mental-health care. If you are in crisis in the U.S., call or text 988.

Research and Resources for the Episode

• Huang and colleagues’ study, “Autistic Adults’ Experiences of Diagnosis Disclosure”, explores how disclosure can bring support and understanding while also exposing autistic adults to stigma or discrimination.
• A related qualitative study of autistic adults and their support people describes responses following diagnosis that ranged from acceptance to dismissal, emphasizing how relational context shapes the experience.
• Cage and colleagues’ research on autism acceptance and mental health found meaningful associations between perceived acceptance and mental-health outcomes in autistic adults.
• Research on diagnosis acceptance, masking, and perceived benefits among adults with ADHD and/or autism examines the complicated relationship between diagnostic identity, acceptance, and masking.
• A systematic review of stigma in ADHD discusses how varied public and professional beliefs can contribute to stigmatizing experiences. 

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What happens when belonging always seems to require one more adjustment?

In this episode of Quietly Autistic at Last, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the exhaustion of constantly trying to qualify for acceptance through the lens of Joseph Heller's Catch-22. From rehearsing conversations and monitoring expressions to navigating unspoken rules that seem to change just when you think you’ve finally understood them, masking can turn belonging into an impossible moving target.

We’ll explore the psychology of shifting expectations, rejection after intense effort, and the painful realization that sometimes the problem was never that you failed to meet the requirements—it was that the requirements were designed in a way that never allowed you to arrive.

And perhaps freedom begins when you stop asking, “What else do I need to change?” and start asking, “Why am I working this hard to belong somewhere that keeps moving the door?”

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 in the U.S. to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

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The moment may be over, but your autistic mind is still processing every word, expression, and unanswered question. In Episode 54 of Quietly Autistic at Last, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores autistic perseveration, rejection sensitivity, and the emotional “hangover” that can make it so difficult to simply “let it go”—and why needing more time to process isn’t a personal failure.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the United States. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency services.

Research and Resource Notes

1. Lin, X., et al. (2022). Autistic traits heighten sensitivity to rejection-induced social pain that leads to psychological distress. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35976662/
2. Williams, Z. J., et al. (2021). Investigating the structure of trait rumination in autistic adults: A network analysis. Autism. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8419022/
3. Patel, S., et al. (2017). Association between anger rumination and autism symptom severity, depression symptoms, aggression, and general dysregulation in adolescents with autism spectrum disorder. Autism. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6070295/
4. Keenan, E. G., et al. (2018/2019). Hooked on a feeling: Repetitive cognition and internalizing symptomatology in relation to autism spectrum symptomatology. Autism. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6542291/
5. Cage, E., and Troxell-Whitman, Z. (2019). Understanding the reasons, contexts and costs of camouflaging for autistic adults. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6483965/
6. Bradley, L., et al. (2021). Autistic adults’ experiences of camouflaging and its perceived impact on mental health. Autism in Adulthood. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8992917/
7. Perry, E., Mandy, W., Hull, L., and Cage, E. (2022). Understanding camouflaging as a response to autism-related stigma: A social identity theory approach. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8813820/
8. Scheeren, A. M., et al. (2025). Masking, social context and perceived stress in autistic adults: An ecological momentary assessment study. Autism. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12618727/
9. Mitchell, P., Sheppard, E., and Cassidy, S. (2021). Autism and the Double Empathy Problem: Implications for development and mental health. British Journal of Developmental Psychology. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33393101/
10. 10.Cai, R. Y., et al. (2023). The inter-relationship of emotion regulation, self-compassion, and mental health in autistic adults. Autism in Adulthood. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10468559/
11. 11.Spek, A. A., van Ham, N. C., and Nyklíček, I. (2013). Mindfulness-based therapy in adults with an autism spectrum disorder: A randomized controlled trial. Research in Developmental Disabilities. Related discussion: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8362926/
12. 12.Eisenberger, N. I., Lieberman, M. D., and Williams, K. D. (2003). Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study of social exclusion. Science. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14551436/
13. 13.Woo, C. W., et al. (2014). Separate neural representations for physical pain and social rejection. Nature Communications. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4285151/
14. 14.Autistic Self Advocacy Network. Resource Library. https://autisticadvocacy.org/resources/
15. 15.988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. https://988lifeline.org/

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Unmasking is rarely a straight path—and returning to old coping strategies does not mean you have failed. In this episode, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores unmasking as a spiral, weaving together a four-part unmasking process with Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief. From identity and authenticity to safety, loss, and self-acceptance, this episode offers a compassionate look at why moving “backwards” may actually mean returning with greater awareness, agency, and understanding.

References

• Å. Hedlund and colleagues, “Reclaiming selfhood: towards a conceptualisation of the autistic unmasking process,” Frontiers in Psychiatry (2026). Neurodivergent-led qualitative study describing four interconnected, circular categories: identifying the need to unmask, understanding one’s masking, using unmasking strategies, and managing consequences.
• L. Hull and colleagues, “Putting on My Best Normal: Social Camouflaging in Adults with Autism Spectrum Conditions,” Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders (2017).
• E. Cage and colleagues, “Understanding the Reasons, Contexts and Costs of Camouflaging for Autistic Adults,” Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders (2019).
• J. Cook and colleagues, “Camouflaging in autism: A systematic review,” Clinical Psychology Review (2021).
• L. Bradley and colleagues, “Autistic Adults’ Experiences of Camouflaging and Its Perceived Impact on Mental Health,” Autism in Adulthood (2021/2022).
• K. Corden and colleagues, “Personal Identity After an Autism Diagnosis: Relationships With Self-Esteem, Mental Wellbeing, and Diagnostic Timing,” Frontiers in Psychology (2021).
• S. Bargiela and colleagues, “The Experiences of Late-diagnosed Women with Autism Spectrum Conditions: An Investigation of the Female Autism Phenotype,” Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders (2016).
• Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying (1969). The five responses originated in work with people facing terminal illness and should not be treated as a universal or linear bereavement sequence.
• Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation, overview of the five stages/change curve.

Crisis and Support

If this discussion brings up feelings of hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm, please reach out for immediate support. In the United States and its territories, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you are elsewhere, contact your local crisis service or emergency number.