The injuries caused me to endure numerous knee surgeries and ongoing rehabilitation. To deal with the pain, I was prescribed Opioids. After months and months of therapy, the department and doctors determined that my injuries would prevent me from doing the job effectively and could place others at risk. It was decided that I would be medically retired from the department.
For the next few years, I struggled with being retired. The day after turning in my equipment, I felt ostracized and not a part of the brotherhood. I honestly felt like I had lost my support team. I had no access to the building; I could not walk in and see my partners. They were busy, and I felt they had forgotten about me. This was a huge blow to my ego. One day you’re chasing bad guys, and the next, you’re picking up your kid’s toys. It was a difficult transition. At this time, my addiction took control of my emotions, and I began to spin out of control, and I proceeded to self-medicate.
Listen here: Journey of Transition