Quit Dieting for Good

Today I talk about something I've been practicing having: a healthy relationship with my phone! Technology is amazing…but it can also really intrude on day to day life. I'd love to share what I'm doing to improve that relationship, because I think it might benefit you too!

AND — the Quit Dieting for Good Podcast is coming up on 100 episodes! I started about two years ago, and here I am! Sharing this podcast with you is something I truly love doing, and I'm thrilled to continue! If you've been a listener and you love the show, would you do me a favor? Head to your listening app of choice (here's a How-To for Apple Podcasts) and leave me a review today! Done? Send me a screenshot to [email protected] and I'll be sure to send you something special!

A Healthy Relationship with My Phone

Does it sound a little weird to use the word relationship here? After all, phones are just things, right? Well, I'm calling this a "phone relationship" because we spend so much time on our phones every day! And since relationships are all about time….it seems like a fitting word for our phone usage.

Personally, since Covid hit I found I was spending up to 6 hours a day on my phone. Yikes! (The average American was spending 5.4 hours per day BEFORE Covid, according to a Provision Life study ZDNet shared!)

Since I use my phone for business and personal life, cutting down can feel tricky. However, during a recent stay-cation I realized that if I was sitting at home looking at posts about other people's "real" vacations I was going to get super bummed. To remedy that, I told people I was signing off, and deleted the FB and IG apps off my phone. This obviously doesn't get rid of social media; if I needed to, I knew I could check in on things from my computer. Instead, it just removed the quick access I'm so used to having.

On Day 1, I found myself going on my phone and seeing my thumb head for the spot my IG app used to always be. In fact, my YouTube app moved into the old IG spot, and I found myself accidentally opening it multiple times. (It's like my phone had been programming ME! Crazy!) I was also picking up my phone a LOT….which made me start to think that maybe I don't have such a healthy relationship with my phone. Hmmm….

It's Not Just a Social Media Problem

Once I got rid of my social media apps I started checking my email all the time. I felt like I was obsessively checking in (even when all there was to "do" was delete junk emails). When I didn't have quick access to social media, I just turned my attention to other things to do on my phone.

That was enough to show me that the problem was bigger than just social media. It was about my phone in general (hence "phone relationship")!

I needed a game plan that went beyond social media apps! This brought me back to How to Break Up With Your Phone, by Catherine Price. She breaks down a ton of facts and figures (it's so interesting!). She also shares about the addictive qualities of our phones that are making us unhappier. Phone programmers are doing everything they can to keep you ON your phone. Have you noticed that?

Since it's in your phone creators best interest to keep you on your device, they engineer everything to keep you on. (Or trying to get back on when you're off!)

Something else interesting: the biggest names in tech severely limit the amount of time their own families spend behind screens. They have the inside scoop, and it's clear they don't want technology to take over their lives. But since it's how they make their money….they certainly aren't stopping the rest of us!

What Are You Doing?

I noticed that I have a habit of getting on my phone for a purpose….then finding myself knee deep in social media feeds and emails….with no recollection about WHY I was even on in the first place.

It's kind of like walking into a room and not remembering why. Except this version eats up hours of my day. I noticed that any time I was waiting for something, or there was a single moment that could be filled, I was looking at my phone. And I didn't like that!

Something else: every morning I was checking my email and social media for almost 20 minutes. It wasn't even time I was really accounting for (so I never realized it was "missing" from my day). Once I stopped doing that, I felt like I had so much extra time in my day! As I started to have a healthy relationship with my phone, I was pleasantly surprised at just how much of my day I was able to free up.

Here's What I Did Instead + Cleaned Up My Home Screen

I put all my social media apps into a folder. I also moved my mail icon to the very last page. You don't have to have it on that main, easy access bar. And moving these things a bit further away creates another layer of accountability.

+ Prioritized Podcasts and Audio Books

I get to choose WHAT I do on my phone. And when I stopped scrolling social media feeds all the time, I was able to prioritize things that make me feel good instead. It was so much more enjoyable to listen to amazing material, rather than mindlessly scrolling apps and killing time.

+ Actually Read Real Books

Rather than laying in bed scrolling my phone….I started going to bed and reading. In two weeks I read two books (which is pretty good for me)! I read All Adults Here and Then She Was Gone. They were both great, and I know I would have never read them if I had kept up with my (slightly obsessive) phone relationship!

+ Started a Weaving Project

Not only did I start a new weaving project, I also keep up with my painting project. It feels so good to be creative and have ongoing projects to look forward to. Rather than telling myself I'm "too busy", evaluating my relationship with my phone has helped me see that I have more time than I used to think.

+ Meditated Every Morning & Did More Yoga

With all that time I saved in the morning, I started meditating EVERY day. I also found I could often add in a bit of yoga too. (Remember, I had been spending about 20 minutes every morning on my phone!) Scrolling is addictive, and it eats up a ton of time. I know, because I've totally been sucked in! In fact, I still have to catch myself, because it's such a easy habit to get into.

+ Just Sitting & Thinking

You know those couple meetings between things? Waiting for an appointment, standing in line at the store, sitting in the car waiting? It is SO easy to fill those moments with your phone. But you don't need to do that! I realized that a lot of my mindless scrolling left me feeling unhappy. I'd see what other moms, wives, and entrepreneurs were doing, and start to think that I *should* be doing that too. Even though just sitting and thinking doesn't feel super fun….it also doesn't tend to leave me feeling down, discontent, or unhappy! And sometimes it even sparked my own great ideas!

+ Taking Less Pictures

This one has pros and cons. I was able to be more fully present when I wasn't taking as many pictures. It was fun to just BE there. On the other hand, I LIKE having tons of pictures and thinking about what to post.

+ Finding Ideas on Pinterest

Since I didn't have my usual social apps, I did find myself using Pinterest more. Unlike some social apps, I feel like Pinterest gets me excited about DOING things in my own home and life. That's not a side effect of my regular phone use, so I chalked it up to a win!

+ Text & Phone Conversations

Sometimes a friend crosses my mind…and I go check out their social profiles. Since I didn't have the apps, though, this time I actually texted. This resulted in more text conversations and even a few phone calls. Fun! This was another phone use that felt good.

Do I Have a Healthy Relationship With My Phone?

Well, it's still a work in progress!

I did a 24 hour phone fast, which I enjoyed. I'm scrolling less, and being present more. It's been great, and I've been able to incorporate my phone back into my life with a new outlook.

However, I have found that my phone is addictive! I clearly need to create a few safe guards to help myself enjoy a healthy relationship that feels good. One tool I've found useful is an app called Space. It helps me track how often I'm opening my phone, and it helps me know when I'm turning to my phone as a diversion throughout the day.

I've found that being creative and being off my phone feels really good. Now when I reach for my phone, I ask myself if I actually need my phone. And if it's just a habit (or an avoidance mechanism), I give myself a chance to sit with what is instead of distracting myself online.

My mornings have also become much more special to me. I love doing mediation and yoga, and I love minimizing that early morning "noise" that my phone brings into my day.

And when I notice that I'm checking too much, or falling into old habits, I'll bring myself back to doing what feels really good for me. I know now that I can use my phone a lot less than I have been…and I know that that feels really good for me and my life. I'm making more conscious decisions about bringing technology into my life, and I'm honoring my needs. It feels really good!

Until I had a child, I never realized just how vital (and elusive) sleep can be. That's one reason why hearing from Angela Holliday-Bell on prioritizing sleep for this episode was incredible! As a pediatrician and avid sleep enthusiast, she shared great information about what sleep is, how it works, and how you could get more of it.

Alert! My Quit Dieting For Good group program + support system is open for enrollment for just a few more days in 2020! I would LOVE to see you there; check it out at www.caitlinball.com/quitdieting. You can expect to gain confidence, stop stressing over food, and experience your own transformation!

Mixed Messages About Sleep

In addition to her pediatric training, Angela has also studied in clinical sleep health. Now she sees both pediatric patients and also provides sleep consultations, in which she helps clients improve their sleep habits and get better sleep. This might pertain to enhanced performance, or even just regular quality of life.

As you know, sleep impacts every aspect of your health and wellbeing, which is why it's honestly so important. It may seem basic (or obvious), but it's also life changing when you take action! As a health coach, I've seen the correlation between sleep and eating patterns come up for many of my intuitive eating ladies. Improving sleep quantity and quality can be a major part of their journey.

Angela shares that every part of our lives are effected by our sleeping. And even though we often hear that we *should* be sleeping more…it's also a badge of honor to talk about how little sleep you actually get. From parents comparing notes to colleagues boasting that they'll "sleep when they're dead", many of us receive mixed messaging about actually getting the sleep we know we should be getting.

You have to understand: the more you sleep, and the more quality that sleep is, the more productive you're able to be during the hours you're awake. Sleep pays off!

What Does Sleep Impact?

We all have a legitimate NEED to sleep! And it's not just about sleep feeling good.

When you're sleeping, your body produces hormones to help you repair muscles and restore your body. In addition, a number of cognitive processes are assisted when you get your Zzz's. Your brain moves memories from short term to long term memory while you sleep (one more reason to stop with the all-nighters if you need to learn something)!

Your ability to pay attention is significantly impacted by lack of sleep. So is your mood! Your ability to monitor and adapt your own mood is decreased when you're lacking in sleep. And to make matters worse, your reaction time goes down across the board.

In tests that study reaction times and functioning, people who sleep less than 7 hours per night perform significantly worse than those who are getting enough sleep.

A Three Pronged Approach to Feeling Good

Exercise, nutrition, and sleep are part of a solid, three pronged approach to a feel-good life. Why is sleep included here?

Well, Angela shares that lack of sleep causes your body to up-regulate your hunger hormone and de-regulate the hormone that makes you feel full. In addition, your body is more likely to burn muscle for fuel and store fat when you are sleep deprived. And finally, insufficient sleep can cause your body to increase cortisone.

Whew!

Prioritizing sleep to maintain your health is clearly vital! And if you're already NOT feeling well….sleep is a key part of assisting your immune system and aiding in the healing process. No matter what your current state is, sleep can help you feel even better!

The Four Pillars of Sleep Hygiene

Sleep can be so hard, because so many factors can impact it. Sometimes, it's a bit of "chicken or the egg" quandary. For example, people with depression are more likely to not sleep well…and not sleeping enough can cause or exacerbate depression.

However, Angela shares that many questions about sleep come down to the four pillars of sleep hygiene.

Have a consistent bed time and rise time. Angela shares that the time you go to bed and get up shouldn't differ more than an hour on either side. This includes the weekend! It does take effort and training to create a regular sleep system; 4-5 days on routine and then a wild weekend makes it really hard for your body to get into any sort of helpful rhythm.

Have a routine. Parents often understand doing this for their kids, but they don't realize they should be doing that for themselves as well! Just like our kid's brains understand that bath time, reading time, or other calm-down activities are signals that bed time is coming, our brains will do that too! Whether you meditate, read, or listen to calming music, find ways to slow yourself down and prepare yourself for bed as well.

(And do what you can to avoid blue light from screens in the hour or so leading up to bed!)

If it's not working, get up! Angela notes that the mind is really strong, and makes a lot of connections. If you lay in bed and don't fall asleep, your mind starts to churn. What time is it? How long do I have to sleep? What if I can't fall asleep? To avoid the mind racing questions, get up and do something quietly until you're sleepy. This can prevent your mind from connecting your bed with anxiety, which is not helpful.

Use your bed for sleeping (and other adult activities, of course) only. You shouldn't be eating, watching TV, or doing other activities there – you want your mind to clearly connect your bed with going to sleep. As you focus on prioritizing sleep, it becomes easier for your mind and body to crawl into bed each night.

Prioritizing Sleep

Angela takes prioritizing sleep quite seriously! She shares that she takes a hot shower in the evenings, and enjoys aromatherapy lotions. She also journals each night. Because of her own experience with insomnia, she's found that her mind tends to kick in with a lot of thoughts about the rest of her day as she lays down.

Rather than lay in bed and think about those things, she uses journaling as a way to let her mind process her day. That keeps her from getting ambushed by all those thoughts once she lays down. (This could be the perfect time to give gratitude journaling a try!)

And if sleep is out of your control (like when you have a newborn!), Angela recommends sleeping when the baby sleeps. Even though it might be tempting to clean or take care of other things around the house, let yourself sleep instead! As long as it isn't too close to bed time, napping allows you to reap the benefits of sleep. (PS – if you've never heard of a Snoo, you can find out what that is here!)

The more other factors might impact your own sleep, the more important it is to create routines and rhythms that allow you to priories your sleep in whatever way possible.

To learn more about sleep stages, sleep inertia, and the ideal length of a nap, listen in to the full episode!

This week's topic has been inspired by my clients! On a recent call, they were all having their own version of a bad body image day. It was great timing, because they were able to experience it together. Sometimes it's so powerful just to know you aren't alone, and to be supported by other women who get what you're going through!

Before we get to how you can recover from these bad body image days, I want to share something special! We're currently partway through the Better Body Image Challenge, but it's not too late to JOIN! There are special bonuses for all the lovely challenge members!

The Need for Control

We've all had bad body image days. Whether our clothes don't fit right, we feel we're not fitting in, or we're just overall discouraged – it happens to all of us. Often it feels like they just come out of nowhere! The reality is, however, bad body image days don't come out of the blue.

On my group coaching call, I pushed a little deeper to learn more about what else was happening. Unsurprisingly, each women in the program had stressors in her life over and above body image. From huge moves to postponed weddings, they were carrying a lot!

Often, when our world feels like it is falling apart or out of control, we turn to controlling our bodies as a coping mechanism. We want to be able to control something, and we turn that need on our bodies. Even when we want to be free from old mindsets, stress has a way of pushing us towards old habits.

5 Tips for Recovering from Bad Body Image Days Tip #1 – Check in with yourself and identify other stressors.

Give yourself the time to identify other stress factors that may be bothering you. Because honestly: the size of your body is likely not the only cause of your frustration.

This is also a chance to see if you're keeping up with your self-care. Two of my clients on the call realized they had had a lapse with their normal walking and yoga practices. These were things they really enjoyed as forms of self-care, and when they quit doing them, they saw a difference! Whether you've been extra busy, changed your routines, or were taking a break, you'll often find there are side-effects when you cut yourself off from self-care habits that have been reducing stress and helping you feel good in your day-to-day life.

Tip #2 – Allow yourself to feel your feelings.

When you suppress your feelings, things tend to come out a bit sideways. You'll find another way to express your frustration, hurt, or anger – and that might get channeled towards your body!

It is absolutely okay to feel "bad". Whether you need a good cry, a pillow punching session, or venting to your bestie, don't be afraid to feel whatever you feel and let it all out.

Tip #3 – Go back to basic body love practices.

Now that you know your stressors and are feeling your feelings, you can start showing your body love. One option is to try a body gratitude practice. Choose a time of day, and spend time thanking your body in specific ways.

Yesterday my body gratitude included thanking my body for completing a yoga class, even though I was stuck inside all day.

All day long your body is showing up for you. She helps you be the partner, parent, colleague, creator, and all around human that you are. Thank her for it! And not only does gratitude feel good, it helps move you away from the build up of negative mental talk. You might envision that negative voice as being hurt or scared. Try using positive talk to soothe it. As you become calmer and more centered on gratitude, you may find your bad body image day slipping away effortlessly.

Another option is to dress your body in a fun, meaningful way. Wearing a fancy dress you don't have a reason to put on often, a brightly colored scarf, or something else that helps you feel confident and good can go a long ways towards defeating a bad day!

Finally, imagine you and your body are friends, and ask her what she needs right now. Once she tells you, listen and act! Whether that means a hot bath, a long walk, a restful evening in, a vigorous bike ride outdoors, a delectable chocolate snack or a lovely homemade dinner – do what you can to honor the needs your body communicates.

Tip #4 – Double down on self-care.

Sometimes you need to double down on the stuff that makes you feel good. In addition to body love practices, what else do you need?

Nourishing meals, a special gift, time with a friend – what can you give yourself that would feel really good right now?

Interestingly, we're sometimes tempted to turn away from self-care when we aren't doing well. The more negative and frustrated we feel, the more tempted we are to hibernate with Netflix and shut down. Often, however, that is not the approach that will make us feel the best!

If you have self-care favorites to draw on, do that! And if not (or if none of your old standbys appeal to you), don't be afraid to try something new. Maybe an improv class, an expressive dance experience, an outdoor adventure, a new book store – do a bit of digging and see what stands out!

Tip #5 – Remember it was just a day.

No matter how rough it feels, it's still just a day. You haven't "ruined" any progress you've made, and this isn't permanent.

Sometimes bad body image days happen. They can feel like they come out of nowhere, and they can effect us each in a different way. Don't put pressure on yourself to be perfect, and don't assume that you're failing because things aren't feeling really good in the moment.

A bad day doesn't have to turn into a bad week, month, year, or life (even if it feels like it could!). In fact, bad days can help us enjoy the good days that much more. Next time you're having a rough time, take a deep breath, listen to this podcast again, and try some of the tips.

And if you're ready to make a long-term change because you're done fighting the same body image fight again and again, feel free to check out the Quit Dieting for Good program. I'd love to see you there!

This week's episode is a fantastic look at post-partum body confidence. Brittany Woodard shares SO openly and honestly about her own journey with her postpartum body image. Any woman who needs a body confidence boost will benefit from listening in!

Recently I was on a client group call and it seemed like everybody was having a bad body image day. It inpsired me to create the Better Body Image Challenge. This is a FREE, 4 days challenge that includes a daily email AND live training from me. It's all new material, and I'm so excited to share it with you! We're kicking off August 25, so sign up today!

Mom-Life Inspiration

Brittany is a registered dietitian who specifically works with moms on regaining their body confidence! Becoming a mom changes your body in so many ways. Plus, mom life can be hard!

Whether you're looking to stop dieting, find food freedom, or come to a place where you can accept your bodies changes — Brittany is there for you! In addition to being a mom herself, Brittany got her start working at a WIC clinic. Before that, however, she spent two years in Nepal with the Peace Corps. That experience is what inspired her to want to work specifically with women.

After giving birth to her own children, her focus narrowed even more. Moms who had given birth and who were now dealing with body image "stuff" became her passion. Eventually, Brittany's career came into focus; she uses cognitive behavioral therapy to help moms stop dieting, get used to their bodies, and overcome the constant diet culture messaging.

The concept of getting your body "back" after giving birth is ridiculous. This pressure women feel to bounce back and meet idealized body standards just isn't healthy. It leads to guilt, shame, and frustration. Rather than resenting your body and forcing yourself to pursue something impossible, Brittany focuses on helping women love and accept themselves.

It's NOT You! (And there isn't anything wrong with you!)

Brittany's early decision to get into dietetics was partially based on her own interesting in diets. At first, she thought that by being a dietitian she would always have the inside scoop on which diets were the best. As she learned more, however, she began to realize that NO diet truly worked. Rather than discovering the best diets, she discovered the reality that dieting isn't the best option for your physical or mental health.

Her greatest revelation: it's NOT you. Nothing is wrong with you, your body, or your genetics. This understanding helps her work with post-partum moms in all stages of post-birth!

I shared a bit with Brittany about my own journey with post-partum body confidence. Even though I was already doing intuitive eating, I found out I definitely had more body confidence work to do!

Around the 3 month mark, I got really frustrated with my body. I didn't want to be wearing maternity pants any more, but I also didn't fit into my old clothes. Motherhood is so high pressure, and not "snapping back" into my old version of normal felt like one more thing that wasn't "right" in my mothering journey.

The Power of Thoughts & Beliefs

Brittany shares that awareness is such an important part of the journey. Her clients come to her knowing that they are unhappy with something – maybe their dieting habits, maybe their body image, or maybe just a general sense of dissatisfaction. Being aware that there IS a problem is what helps them get in the door! Once there, Brittany works with them using cognitive behavioral therapy, which is based on how thoughts create actions.

In a nutshell: Our thoughts and beliefs are what create our feelings and ultimately our actions. When we can change our thoughts and beliefs to something more empowering and positive, we're better able to have feelings and take actions that allow us to live the lives we desire.

This process isn't easy, but it is powerful and it does work! Brittany helps women ask questions and challenge unhelpful and unhealthy beliefs that are leading to behaviors that don't serve us.

+ Where do these ideas come from?

+ Who is telling us these things?

+ How can you change your mindset and bring yourself into a more positive mindset?

When you ask questions like this (and are open to answers that may surprise you), you can make powerful changes in your life!

False Standards

Often celebrities are held up as the gold standard when it comes to post-partum body confidence and expectations. What we don't consider, however, is the reality that their lives are not like ours.

They have nannies, and night nurses, and people to cook, and clean, and ultimately airbrush them into the pictures of perfection we see in magazines and online. They aren't living the way we're living!

When you're a new mom, dealing with ALL the craziness that goes into parenting, the last standard you should be applying to yourself is that of a celebrity who has resources you can't even dream of. What you're doing as a mom is important, and it's hard, and it's not anything you need to judge yourself for!

You also don't need to constantly be with other moms, family members, or friends who are obsessing over weight, diets, and changing their bodies.

Brittany encourages women to surround themselves with a supportive community that offers love and compassion. She also advocates for you to be willing to share about your own desires for body confidence and diet freedom if that feels right for you. You don't need to continue interacting with diet culture groups and conversation 24/7, especially if you're trying to move away from that for yourself! And if someone you're really close to (like your mom!) is really stuck in that way of thinking, you don't need to "change" them! Do what you can to deflect and move away from those food-based, body-shaming conversations….and give yourself the freedom to live in a way that feels better for you. (Get some tips on how to deal with dieters here.)

Having a smaller body won't make you happier. (Just like having money doesn't make you happier.) Brittany encourages women to learn to love themselves for who they are. When you do this, you'll find there is so much to appreciate about your body!

I'm back from a mini stay-cation that involved lots of home projects and cleaning. It wasn't quite as good as a regular vacation, but our house does feel amazing! This week we're digging into a big topic: healthified foods! These days, you can find "healthier" version of just about everything. From ice cream and tacos to smoothies and salads, there always seems to be some sort of hack being promoted! So when should you eat them? And when should you pass?

If you're interested in chaining things up with your eating, you might love my free 7 Step Guide to Kick Dieting to the Curb!

Labels on Your Favorite Foods

My favorite snack bar has a lot of labels on it: paleo, grain free, natural sugar only, and all that sort of thing. Labels can be triggering! When you're trying to leave a dieting mindset behind, they can bog you down and keep you tied to certain rules about "good" food and "bad" food.

On top of the labeling, we also have zucchini spirals for noodles, dates for dessert, cauliflower as pizza crust and potatoes — the list goes on and on! With all the substitutions and food transformation, it can get overwhelming.

As someone who does occasionally enjoy zoodles, cashew parmesan, and all sorts of other healthified foods, all while also practicing intuitive eating, I know how confusing the can seem. You might be dealing with all sorts of internal questions, like:

+ How is this different than dieting?

+ Isn't this another form of restrictions?

+ How can I do it "right" and stop obsessing over labels?

And honestly, it all comes down to one thing: intention.

Why are you eating that?

I eat all sorts of date and nut snacks because I like them for what they are. They are date and nut snacks, and I enjoy them! They give me an energy boost, they have a bit of protein, and they taste great.

However, they aren't an alternate for brownies and cookies.

Early on in my journey, I tried to eat them as a dessert replacement. I found myself eating a TON of them because I was trying to curb my dessert cravings. Ultimately, I'd end up eating way more date balls then I even wanted….and then caving in and eating brownies later anyways.

That didn't work for me! If you love the taste of a certain type of food, then you can let yourself enjoy that food. I can eat date bars and ignore all the labels, simply because I love date bars and I'm eating them for me. Based on my work with intuitive eating, that's an intention I can feel really good about.

Let's Talk Healthified Pizza

Cauliflower as a crust replacement is really popular right now. Let's talk about it! If you're thinking about eating cauliflower crust pizza for lunch, there are a few questions you can ask to figure out if this is diet based thinking or intuitive eating based thinking.

1. Why am I choosing cauliflower crust vs. regular crust pizza? An intuitive eater might notice that a heavier crust option on regular pizza makes them feel a bit bloated and sluggish, and that they won't have much energy later in the day. If they have a big night out, this might not be a great idea. A cauliflower crust pizza might be perfect in this situation! If they're able to stay in, enjoy a regular pizza, and do something relaxing that doesn't require much energy or focus, it might be a great night for regular pizza. Alternately, a dieter might be noting calorie counts and nutrition facts in order to determine whether they "can" eat pizza, or if they should settle for the cauliflower crust instead.
2. Will this truly satisfy me? If you answer this honestly, you might realize that eating the cauliflower crust pizza might make you crave regular pizza even more. If you eat a substitute, you won't be satisfied, and will keep eating in order to fulfill that craving. However, it could be that a cauliflower crust pizza is honestly exactly what your body and taste buds need and want. Perfect! Enjoy your cauliflower crust!
3. If a regular pizza felt 100% allowed and was 100% available to you right now, would you eat that instead? This question helps you understand if you've fully released restrictions. Sometimes we think we're choosing something for the right reasons, but we're really just making fear based decisions connected to old dieting ideas. If that's the case, I encourage you to try some of these "fear" foods so you can get them off the pedestal they've been placed on.

You Won't Decide Wrong

Whether you choose healthified foods or not, you can't make the wrong decisions! Whatever choice you make, you can use the feedback to inform your food choices next time around.

A final tip? Don't be afraid to rename foods!

Recently, I had a client trying out new breakfast foods. I suggested sweet potato toast with peanut butter and honey on top. I've had it before, and it's pretty yummy! She replied, "That doesn't sound like toast to me…."

In her case, she needs to rename that food in order to truly enjoy it. Otherwise, she'll see it as a sad toast replacement, and she won't be able to enjoy it in the same way.

A few years ago, I offered a pumpkin muffin to my brother. He quickly told me it was awful. On second thought, I explained it was really more of a baked oatmeal cup than an actual "muffin". Once he heard that he took another bite…and he liked it! When he expected a muffin, a baked pumpkin oatmeal cup was not an acceptable replacement! But when he knew what it was and he ate it as that, he enjoyed it.

Rather than using healthified foods as replacements for the real deal, I'd encourage you to enjoy them for what they are, not for what they are "kind of like".

PS: Here's the amazing Paige Schmidt interview on intuitive eating shaming that I recommended in the podcast!

This week I'm sharing my conversation with the amazing Kira Onysko. We had a chance to talk about to shift our workout mindset when it comes to exercise. She encourages you to embrace a performance based mindset (rather than a body-focused aesthetic mindset). Like so many of my guests, Kira's work evolved with her own personal journey and struggles. This is a great conversation!

Have you listened in to my on-demand training yet? It's free, and it offers 4 steps that let you get started with intuitive eating today! If you're ready to take care of yourself and feel good in your body, this is for you! You can check it out HERE.

Kira's Start with Movement

As a certified personal trainer, Kira works exclusively with women. She's highly passionate about teaching women how to incorporate fitness into their lives in a balanced, non-restrictive way as they improve their workout mindset. In her view, exercise and fitness shouldn't consume your life. And all too often, they do!

Kira's family was always movement oriented. She grew up loving exercise and physical activity. Her extended family also embraced a food loving culture that brought them together around lots of food. As a result, she felt she had a pretty good relationship with food and movement.

Around pre-puberty, however, her body changes started to impact her gymnastic performance. As she grew taller and gained a bit of weight, she started to feel her ability to perform in the gym and in competitions began to suffer. Her solution? To start limiting food and paying more attention to her diet in order to minimize weight gain.

A few years into those patterns, one of Kira's gymnastic coaches brought a box of donuts to year end party. When Kira passed, her coach took her aside and told her that she could have the donut. Whatever else she said in her pep talk, it helped Kira break out of her food restrictions and realize that eating was a normal, acceptable thing!

The Downside of Workout Culture

Post-high school, Kira experienced the absence of athletics and organized exercise. Having been an athlete her whole life, she missed movement, and she found herself not feeling as good as she would have liked.

During that time, the health & fitness climate was very different. The only real adult role models in the field were fitness models and body builders. The mindset was – you work out to burn calories, lose weight, and/or change your body.

This means that you eating habits get adjusted as well. Because you're pushing yourself hard in the gym to burn calories, it's natural to want to decrease caloric intake in order to help your efforts go farther. Obsessing over intake and restricting food is celebrated and expected. Because it's so normalized, you don't even realize it's necessarily an issue at first!

Eventually, Kira found her friendships and relationships were being affected. Missing workouts or consuming too many calories started to cause anxiety. She hesitated to go to new restaurants, since she couldn't guarantee that she'd be able to find a food she felt she was "allowed" eat.

Fortunately, during Kira's degree program she was introduced to CrossFit. For the first time since school, she was able engage in movement that was performance based. There was no focus on mirrors, body size, or other aesthetics. Instead, she was able to make mind/body connections and engage in movement for the sake of movement.

Fitting In with Fitness

For the first time as an adult, Kira felt excited about working out without needing to change her body. She was introduced to the exciting variety of American Oreos, and she realized that you could enjoy working out AND enjoy good food that you wanted to eat. She feels that she finally "saw the light" of all that was possible when it comes to enjoying the you move and the way you eat, no strings attached.

Kira did note that even within the CrossFit community, there can still be a lot of emphasis on food and eating. Dieting and food restriction is very bonding. It's something to talk about, commiserate over, and compare notes on. It's an easy fall back conversation, and it helps create a sense of belonging. Even if the movement component is something you love, sometimes too much focus on food can create a tension that doesn't provide an ideal atmosphere.

Also, that's not to say that all food talk is "bad". Eating to aid recovery and fuel workouts is important when you're challenging your body and engaging in movement. And one of the best ways to make that happen is to get tips and tricks from others! The key, however, is to enjoy it as a conversation and then check in with your body to see what makes sense for your needs.

Since her transition to CrossFit and weightlifting, Kira has had huge workout mindset shifts in her life. She now feels she is able to embrace movement and eating in a way that works for her body and needs.

Performance Based Workout Mindset

Kira shares that many of her clients have never truly seen when their bodies are capable of. Many times they've engaged with lots of cardio and light weights, but they haven't really pushed themselves to try other forms of movements.

When she puts programs together, Kira loves to create benchmarks based on "max effort". In a certain amount of time, a client is challenged to perform as many reps or seconds of a movement as possible (pushups, wall sits, etc). More often than not, by the program mid-point all clients have surpassed their goals and feel really proud of how they've grown.

These benchmarks have nothing to do with weight, measurements, or aesthetics. They are purely about personal bests and personal growth. Often, this sort of growth is more inspiring and motivation than previous metrics based on body changes. Although shifting the workout mindset can take time, it's an amazing way to build confidence and begin loving your body!

Exericse is NOT Punishment!

Kira encourages her clients to engage in movement they actually love. Rather than trying to punish your body or force yourself to move in a way you think you "should" be moving….you can find things you actually enjoy. Don't be afraid to experience with different options; you might be surprised by what you like!

You might try exploring different classes and groups. Not only are you moving, you're also engaging in a chance to meet others who have similar interests. Who knows, you might even find a new friend or two!

Getting to have fun, make friends, try new things – these are ways to appreciate your body for what it can do, rather than just what it looks like.

Kira also points out that many of our most amazing experiences in life are movement based. From water skiing to kayaking, mountains climbing to hiking, we often base whole vacations around moving in ways that feel GOOD for our bodies. You can find those sorts of movements and do them frequently (rather than just once or twice a year as part of a trip).

Social distancing is so important right now. It's also stressful, hard, and can feel really frustrating. However, I also think that we can still have FUN while doing it! (Speaking of fun…if you haven't checked out my summer self-care series yet, go do it! You can find all 5 videos over on my IGTV channel!) In these unprecedented times, I think we could all use a bit of fun in our lives!

Also, in my signature training, How to Ditch the Food Guilt + Shame to Gain Confidence + Feel Free, I dive deep on what intuitive eating is and how it could work for you. Whether you're just starting or could use a refresh, this is for you!

Enjoying This Time

Back in April my whole family booked our annual trip to Moon Lake, Washington. Our tickets were the cheapest they've ever been, and we were so excited! However, as the trip drew newer, we started to feel less confident about actually traveling. Ultimately, my husband and I canceled our tickets in favor of social distancing. It's what felt right for us, and I know it was a good choice for where we're at right now.

However…

Knowing the rest of my family is there without me has created some major FOMO. Plus, this is the first time in my life that I haven't been able to make it! And even though it's technically a small thing in light of everything else that's going on globally, it still felt really hard.

Rather than sitting around and moping, however, we decided to get activated and create a plan for enjoying that time we do have. From house projects to furniture set up, we put together a series of activities we can do around our house. We get to feel safe AND have fun together — and that makes what we're missing in WA feel less heavy.

As I record this, a part of me knows I "should" be in Washington with my family. It's strange not to be, but I also know that I have the choice to enjoy the time I do have here at home!

Food Can't Replace Joy

Even though having fun might not feel like it's that connected with intuitive eating, it absolutely is! When we have fun we are engaging with our lives. We're present in the moment. And we honor our needs to connect, celebrate, and notice all that is good.

When we don't do that? Sometimes we turn to food instead.

If you're not enjoying your life, you're going to rely too much on food to fill the gaps. After all, eating is a coping mechanism! If you're not getting fulfillment and joy from other parts of your life, you're more likely to turn to food to get what you're looking for.

The reason you eat the way you eat as so many layers! Often, those layers have nothing to do with the actual food we're eating. They are connected to our emotional needs, our struggles, our pain, and a whole assortment of other things! Right now, over-eating might be a response to social distancing. Rather than feeling guilty or ashamed, you can peel back some of those layers and look for other ways to help yourself get your emotional needs met. (And you can even find ways to have fun while social distancing!)

The Foundation of Self-Care

A quick note about how vital self-care is in the process of having fun!

If you're not taking care of yourself on regular basis, you won't have the energy for adding into your life! Exhaustion, fatigue, and overwhelm might be signs that you need to build in a foundation of self-care that will allow you to engage in fun things.

The best way to do this is to develop a routine that feels really good for you. This might include journaling, meditating, moving, or connecting with loved ones. Get clarity about what things feel really good in your life, and make sure that you're building them into your life.

You might also look for energy leaks! This week I had to get off social media for a while. Why? I was getting drained and overwhelmed by my social feeds. Taking the week away helped me consider if and how I wanted to add it back into my life. Rather than just slogging forward with my same old patterns, I noticed the issue and took action as a form of self-care!

Once your foundation is set, you can up level by adding in fun!

5 Ideas for Adding In FUN While Social Distancing ONE –

Take some time to sit down and brainstorm fun ideas. It can be hard to have fun if you're stuck in a rut, or just watching time pass by. Once you have your list, make a PLAN! Often time passes us by because we don't plan how we're going to use it.

You can think of this as a sort of summer bucket list. They can be small (eating an ice cream cone while taking a walk), or a bit more time intensive (plan out a summer picnic and take it to your favorite park)!

TWO –

Make time to connect with the people you love. This is harder than it once was! You might need to be more creative about you can spend time with those you love.

If you have nice summer weather, you might be able to create an outdoor space to connect while still staying socially distanced.

Another option? Phone dates! I used to visit with my friends while I was going places….but since I've hardly been going anywhere lately, I realized I wasn't connecting with my friends as much anymore. Intentionally planning in phone dates with my friends has been so helpful for my own mental health.

You can also try using Zoom or other video chat tools to have larger gatherings! From Beauty Counter parties to birthday parties – find a group and get together. Virtual connections do feel different, but they can be life giving, fun, and exciting all the same.

(Listen in to the full show to hear about the childcare pod that we've created, which has been another connection point in our lives!)

THREE –

Projects! Head over to Pinterest and hunt for some new ideas. Personally, I've been working on a paint-by-number craft. My husband and I are doing some home projects. We're starting a garden! I'm even looking into weaving. And, of course, I always love baking.

Whether you return to an old hobby or craft, or learn something new, projects can be a huge source of joy and inspiration. Rather than park yourself in front of the TV, you can explore other options that might feel more life giving.

Another note: projects don't have to mean being productive! Finding things that bring you joy are wonderful. Give yourself space to be creative, to try new things, and to explore. Even if that means you end up making something and throwing it away, that's okay!

FOUR –

Get outside. Fresh air and nature bring so much joy. You might try taking a walk around the block, finding a local beach, or taking hike.

Not into all the activity? Try sitting outside with a cup of tea, or watching the stars from your backyard.

Especially if you've been working from home, make the extra effort to get outside and breathe some fresh air when you have a chance.

FIVE –

Plan some day trips! Often we forget how many really neat things are all around us.

My family lives in Albany, which doesn't get super hot in the summer. I realized I was craving that summer heat! After a bit of brainstorming, I thought of a childhood friend whose mom lives in a hot area and has a pool. After a bit of connecting, we got the details sorted out and headed over. It was a blast!

She was more than happy to see a family enjoying a pool that she doesn't often use, and we loved the chance to swim somewhere that felt really safe and enabled us to maintain our social distancing practices! It was close by, it was free, and it was much needed!

Maybe you could take a day trip to a park and have a picnic. Could you try picking blueberries or strawberries? Finding a quiet beach front or out-of-the-way trail?

You might refer back to your summer bucket list for more ideas. What would you have FUN doing? What would bring joy into your life? Go do it and have fun!

This episode is a little different than the norm, but it was so fun! Natasha shares so much about what the enneagram is, how it works, and what it might mean for you. Best of all, we dive deep on how you can use the enneagram for self-care in order better care for yourself and your needs.

The Quit Dieting for Good Program is open through September! It includes an incredible six-module course, along with 6 months of time together. You'll be in a group with other amazing women who are working on their own intuitive eating journey. We'll have 3 group calls per month, and we share so much with one another. The results are incredible! Interested? CLICK HERE!

Natasha's Enneagram Start

Natasha Smith is an Enneagram Coach. She's also a mom of 3, and is a multi-passionate entrepreneur. She's a 6 with a 7 wing, and she loves to talk all things enneagram! (I think I'm a 7!)

She shares that the enneagram is an ancient wisdom system. Even though it's gotten popular in recent years, it's definitely not new! In a way, it's a personality typing system. Beyond that, however, it helps you understand WHY you do what you do. Rather than just telling you characteristics that you have, the enneagram reveals underlying motives that can help you in all areas of your life. The enneagram for self-care makes perfect sense!

About three years ago, Natasha looked in the mirror and realized she just didn't feel like herself anymore. She sought out a counselor, and shared she wanted to grow and change. Here, she was introduced to the enneagram. She took the test…and got the 3 result.

Since she wasn't feeling it, she went back and dug in deeper. After a lot of reading, studying, and test taking, she realized that it wasn't going to work unless she took the test from the perspective of why she did what she did. (She kept getting a 3 result that didn't resonate, and she realized she was answering the questions based on what she wanted to be true, instead of giving her truest answers.) Some of those answers were really impacted by her anxiety, which she recognized later as she began using the enneagram for self-care.

Recognizing Anxiety (And her true type!)

Natasha had dealt with anxiety her whole life, but she'd never recognized it. She called it other things, and refused to consider it was something that might affect her. After all, anxiety was debilitating and sounded awful!

But when she read the 6 Type, she got completely overwhelmed. That was her.

She felt so understood and seen, and realized that if others felt that way and were able to live full, strong lives, she could too. That's what compelled her to start using the enneagram as a coaching tool for other women who were also seeking transformation!

The ability to be present with yourself and your type is key to being able to connect with your full self.

Natasha Shares About Being a Six

Sixes can be wishy-washy. They tend to work through a lot of "worst case scenarios", and anticipate the absolute worst outcomes at all times.

Natasha shared she didn't even realize this was something she did until she became more self-aware. Her detailed, instant thoughts were so negative and consuming; she realized they were showing up in all areas of her life.

Finding her type helped Natasha recognize that she did struggle with anxiety. It also showed her the ways the was coping with it: becoming a workaholic, doing too much, and avoiding these feelings.

She realized that she needed to slow down and allow herself to feel things. She practiced trusting that she could be safe, and that the people she loved could be safe as well. Noticing her default programming, and the way it kicked in throughout her day, was the self-awareness she needed to be able to be present in her daily life.

Increasing her mindfulness and becoming more aware were powerful ways of tuning in to her reactions and responses throughout the day. In fact, her family quickly noticed the change as well. She was able to be calmer, more present, and less prone to thinking negatively.

Part of embracing your enneagram type is to observe yourself without judgment, and to have grace for yourself as you discover more about who you are. Practicing this way allows you to truly use the enneagram for self-care; it's a loving, gentle tool!

Many women use food restrictions or emotional eating as a way of controlling or avoiding what's really happening in their lives. It would be interesting to know more about how various enneagram types engage with the diet industry (and with intuitive eating)!

Should I take the test?

Natasha recommends holding enneagram test results loosely. The enneagram is a journey, and the point is to find yourself as you learn more about yourself. If you take the test and the results don't really connect with you, it's okay to take it again (and again)! Learn more about the numbers, and see if there are any that do resonate.

Like her, you may end up with the wrong number — and that's okay! She advises that you take a look at your top three numbers, and learn more about them.

You'll also want to think about WHY you do things. For instance, if you walk into a room and can easily identify what people may want or need, ask why? Is it to be loved? To gain attention? To get approval? Thinking about your motivations can help you get more accurate test results, as the enneagram truly emphasizes the underlying motivations you may have.

Intuitive Eating & Your Enneagram Type

Underlying motivations are highly important for eating practices too! Natasha shares that a lot of 9's can struggle with either overeating, or being really restrictive. Because 9's tend to sort of "fall asleep" to themselves, they aren't always present in their bodies. They also tend to avoid conflict, and may eat to avoid problems.

8's tends to have a lot of energy and passion towards things, which can lead to overeating as well. They may also eat more to deal with the stress of constant leadership exceptions.

1's and 3's are most likely to tend towards restriction. For 1's, they often don't want to look "bad", and since overeating is often categorized as a "bad thing", they will want to avoid it. For 3's, being overweight can conflict with their desire to appear good in other's eyes.

Your type can contribute to how you cope, as well as how you think about food and your body. But it can also have a positive impact! Using the enneagram for self-care is a powerful way to listen to your body's needs and care for yourself.

(If you're a 7, listen in to this part! I asked Natasha some specific questions on my type and she shared some great info.)

The Enneagram Types (A Quick Glance) Ones & Threes

1's are the perfectionists and 3's tend to want to appear successful. A negative body image can lead to sense of moral failure or general unraveling. There's this idea that if your body doesn't look a certain way, that you've failed.

Twos

2's are helpers who do a lot for others. They also tend to struggle with self-love, which impacts their body image. It can be hard for a 2 to truly feel that they are fully enough as they are, and they often look to others to increase their own self-worth.

Fours

4's are often melancholy. They're more creative, and they like to feel their feelings. However, they can also get stuck in those feelings and start to wonder what's "missing" inside of themselves. Because of this, 4's can get drawn into negative self-talk and self-criticism. They often feel "less than" if something in their lives is lacking.

Fives

5's are analytical. They don't often dress flashy, and may tend towards letting themselves go because outward appearance just doesn't bother them.

Sixes

With the 6's, they tend to go back and forth. They're doing great, then they aren't. They're following a plan, then they're not. They are often in a battle with themselves, and that can translate to how they feel about their bodies.

Sevens

7's are often very active. They like to experience new things, but can sometimes get stuck in letting themselves go when they aren't in a good place. Otherwise, they tend to be active and want to work on themselves and take things to the next level.

Eights

As strong leaders, 8's can sometimes struggle with imposter syndrome. This can lead to a fixation with what's wrong, and other negative thoughts about the self. Although they can be assertive and bold, they also refrain from being fully vulnerable and tend to turn inward when help is needed.

Nines

Since they have a need to numb themselves out at times, 9's can struggle to know what they feel, and can even tend to feel nothing. They'll just let go, and whatever goes, goes.

(It might be interesting to learn your number and then listening in to the episode on checking your beliefs!)

The Enneagram is a Tool!

Since each type has a distinct path of growth, knowing your type can help you understand how to get back on track. It's a great tool to have in your toolbox if you're on the journey towards being your highest self!

If you take a test, remember to explore the results and make sure it resonates with you. Learn more about the types, and be open to learning more about your own inner motivations. If your desire is to use the enneagram for self-care, you'll want to do this in a loving way that works for you.

Want more info? The Enneagram Institute has a great test for about $12; it has a lot of questions, so you do have to really sit down and take it like a true test. TrueSelf.io includes images on their free test, which makes it quick and easy. (It's not quite as in depth, but it's a great starting point!) You can always with Natasha as well – she's on IG as @radiantlyflourish.

Today's episode is all about snacking! As I sat down to record this podcast, I just happened to have been finishing up a snack myself. As an intuitive eater, I think it's important to fuel my body whenever I need to. Sometimes that means full meals, and sometimes that means snacks! (There really isn't a "wrong" approach here.)

Quick note: I'm only accepting clients into my Quit Dieting for Good program through September! (Since I'm pregnant, I'm building in a bit of a maternity leave for myself.) I'd love to chat with you about how you can get started with intuitive eating today! Personalized support, group coaching calls, workshops, guided visualizations, 6 amazing modules, and more — I love the content in this program!

The Mixed Messaging of Snacks

There are SO many messages about snacking! And all those messages lead to questions.

Is snacking acceptable? How many snacks should I (can I) eat in a day? Is snacking good for you? What's the "best" or "right" kind of snack?

If you've ever been on a diet, you know all about the different thoughts on this. From a resounding NO, to encouragements to eat many snacks a day, the advice is all over the place. Rather than looking for an answer "out there", I'd like you to consider –

Does snacking work well for you? For your body? For your emotions?

Often intuitive eaters will find that the answer to those questions just depends. Some days larger meals might feel better. On other days, snacking might work better.

In addition, seasons of life can change how you might answer those questions. As a pregnant lady, I find that the big meals I usually prefer just don't work that well for me right now. So I'm eating smaller meals and more snacks to keep myself fueled throughout the day.

Figuring Out Your Snacking Needs

What are you currently doing when it comes to snacks?

Do you have current beliefs about snacks? Most importantly, do those beliefs help you or hinder you?

Often we believe that snacking has some connection to our weight. We either restrict and limit ourselves because we think snacking is bad…

Or we eat lots of small meals and snacks because we've been told that's the best way to lose weight.

Instead of just blindly snacking (or not) because of hidden beliefs, I'd encourage you to dig a little deeper to get to the root of WHY you're currently eating the way you're eating. So often we get into habits and routines that aren't truly about what's best for our own bodies and lives.

But what if you WANT a large meal? A big hearty salad, a full bowl of curry, or a large burrito that will fill you all the way up (as opposed to a bunch of smaller snacks), might feel really good for you and your body.

(Listen in to the full episode to hear about one of my client's "snack dinners"!)

A Client's Story

A client of mine was eating small lunches and snacks during the day, and a full dinner in the evening. And by the time she got to dinner, she was inhaling her food! She told me about it, and shared she wanted to slow down and enjoy that meal. At first she thought it would help if we focused on eating mindfully. And we did do some great work with that!

But then we realized that she had internalized this idea that snacking or grazing on really small meals all day was better for her than eating full meals. As a result, she was doing that….and then coming home and speed-eating her dinner!

Rather than continue to eat snacks because of a hidden belief about them being "better", she chose to listen to her own body. And for her, eating larger meals that filled her up felt much better!

Slowing down and eating more mindfully is something she can enjoy doing when she knows she's going to actually get full and feel restored after a meal. The snacking life just wasn't cutting it! (Although she also knows she can always revisit that later — sometimes our needs change, and we get to change too!)

Food Freedom Can be Real!

In the last diet I ever did before I became an intuitive eater, I was fed the line about that diet really being a "lifestyle" and the "best way to eat". The food freedom and lifestyle I was hoping for just didn't work.

I realized I was overeating during lunch, because I was really stressed out about staying full until dinner. Since I didn't "get" to enjoy snacks, I had to eat an uncomfortable amount of food earlier in the day. That's not great!

When I know that I can eat snacks when needed, I can relax and allow myself to enjoy my meals. Whenever I'm full, I can stop, with the knowledge that I can eat more whenever I need to. If that's not until dinner, great! If that's in a few hours and then I need to refuel with a snack, no problem!

True food freedom for me didn't happen until I was able to freely eat in a way that feels good for my body and works in my life. That might mean big meals, small meals, snacking throughout the day, or not many snacks at all. It changes from day to day, and season to season.

The choice I make about snacking aren't "good" or "bad". They aren't rules for me to follow (or for you to copy)! They're just ways of eating that are based on what works for me right now.

There are No Rules

+ What does your schedule look like?

+ What would feel good for your body?

+ Are there foods you really like to eat?

+ What meals do you really enjoy?

Based on your answers, keep those things on hand! I love to have apples and nut butter available, because I really enjoy those as fuel in my day.

Play with what works with you. Pay attention to what meals or foods make you desire a snack pretty quickly. (If I eat cereal for breakfast, I feel a need for more fuel within 2 hours! If I eat something with protein, I can go quite a bit longer without needing anything else.) If I have a busy morning and won't have time for a snack, I make sure to plan a breakfast that will hold me over for longer.

Another thing to think about — there are no rules about what a "snack" is. You can define for yourself what food work as snacks, and what feels best as a full meal.

Let Snacking Be Neutral

Resist the urge to label snacking as "good" or "bad"! Instead, practice listening to your body and checking in throughout the day. Don't be afraid to skip a snack you would normally eat….or to eat a snack you wouldn't normally consider!

One last thing to consider: Sometimes snacking is about our emotions. (No need to make this "bad" or "good" either!) If you think a lot of snacking might be tied to emotions, I'd love if you listened in to Episode 22, which is all about actually feeling your feelings!

At the end of the day, there is no wrong way to go about snacking. My biggest advice is to regularly:

+ Check in with your snacking beliefs.

+ Think about your own schedule and needs. Experiment!

+ Prepare yourself with snack & foods you like, and eat them as needed.

For this week's interview I met with Sarah Berneche. We had an amazing conversation, and were able to really go deep on the layers of food restriction! No matter where you are in your journey, it's always worth considered how restrictions might be popping up in your life! (Not too long ago, I shared about my own process of needing to let go of restrictions again as well!)

Ready to Ditch the Guilt + Body Shame to Gain Confidence + Feel Free? Check out my newest workshop! It's an hour long, available on-demand, and FREE!

Meet Sarah!

Sarah Berneche is an intuitive eating counselor and registered holistic nutritionist. She considers herself a nutrition therapist, and most of her clientele consists of women dealing with disordered eating and body image.

She shares that in her early years, she had a "normal" relationship with food. Post-puberty, however, she began getting bullied for her new, larger body. At that point, she began to feel that she no longer wanted this body. Shortly after, she learned about the WW points system.

This led her down the rabbit hole of diets. Sarah spent years trying to manage how she felt about her body by controlling it with food restrictions. Over the years, her diets morphed into disordered eating. In the midst of her unhealthy food relationships, she completed her dietary training and began working as a nutritionist.

During a corporate nutrition training, someone asked if they were allowed to eat yogurt with fruit in the bottom. That question struck her — Sarah realized that pushing people to eat only certain "good" foods and to restrict themselves from the pleasure or joy of food wasn't in line with her values.

Healing Food Relationships

As she studied and grew in her own understanding, Sarah learned more about intuitive eating, health at every size, and the body positive movement. Having healed her own food relationship, she became passionate about helping other women have the same experience.

One thing Sarah notices is that many women want intuitive eating to be a clear journey with a specific destination. There is a desire to "arrive"! With intuitive eating, however, there are many phases to the journey. Rather than trying to finish the journey, it will likely feel better to enjoy each step along the way.

Another important point: many women have a relationship with dieting built on years of practice. Transitioning to intuitive eating is a practice as well. You should plan to invest in it, just like you would with any new relationship! Along the way, you'll likely notice that sometimes that old dieting relationships tries to get back into your life! That's normal – and you have the ability to choose, each and every time, which relationship you would rather invest in for the long run!

The Layers of Food Restrictions

Even when you've been eating intuitively for years, you may find restrictions popping up in your life!

Sarah shares that the layers of food restrictions can be like the 100 layer crepe cakes. Every time you peel one back, it seems like there is another one ready to take its place!

You may notice this happening physically — whether that's the temptations to calorie count, control portion sizes, or restrict specific items. At some point, we start to move into more mental and psychologic concerns as well. For example, being a "better person" if you eat clean or maintain a smaller size. We also tend to have a lot of fear around things like carbs, fat, or other foods we may have demonized during our dieting journey.

Many women tend to think that if they stop dieting, their food will be different. Sarah notes that this is true, but it's not the only change! You'll be a different person too!

Your dieting came about for a reason, often a much deeper reason than we tend to acknowledge. You may have been managing anxiety, stress, or old traumas with your previous restriction/binging cycles. You may have used dieting to bond or connect with other women or people you care about. Dieting may have helped you cope with feeling inadequate.

When you STOP restricting, a lot can come up!

Dieting Makes us Feel Safe

Diets have served a purpose in our lives! Because of that, they have a certain amount of security attached.

When we start intuitive eating and release diets, we need to reconsider the coping mechanisms and tools we use to allow ourselves to still feel safe. After addressing the physical food restrictions connected to her diets, Sarah had to dive deep on the emotional needs that she had been using diets to manage!

From romantic relationships to personal connections to inadequacies and other core wounds — Sarah found that when she stopped restricting, she was faced with many old feelings and hurts she had never truly addressed.

Dieting had never been about "just" losing weight. When we talk about food and body, we are never just talking about food and body. There are so many deep, core needs connected to what we eat! There are so many layers of food restriction that we'll need to be willing to pass through!

Life Gets Better Without Diets

The diet industry creates a problem (making us feel inadequate and broken) and then offering a solution (start dieting!). In the process of ending that relationship, we get to start rebuilding our core beliefs about who we are.

Intuitive eating allows us to peel back all of the layers and messaging and become our truest, most authentic selves.

Sarah shares that the more she does this work, the fuller her life becomes. With less restriction, she experiences more abundance. She's found herself more conscious of connections, wholeness, and gratitude in many areas of her life.

Rather than trying to get to the smallest size (and then intending to treat herself well at that later point), she's able to treasure and value herself today, just as she is. She's also seen an increase in the strength of her friendships and connections. Intuitive eating has enabled her to open herself to body positivity, social justice, and more care and concern for others and for the world around us.