Arrr! Avast, ye scurvy landlubbers, we be the fearsome Podcasters of Penzance!

The Doctor and his land-lubbing stowaways arrive in somethingth century Cornwall where a dodgy bloke tells the Doctor a secret. they go to the pub where the Doctor gets kidnapped by Cap’n Hook’s evil brother. Polly feels confused as to her gender preference when she and Ben get thrown in jail from where they promptly escape (because of witches) hide in a crypt and beat up a policeman.

The Doctor escapes from Cap’n Jack Sparrow’s mad ancestor, finds his gender confused companions and tells the policeman to sod off. He then walks straight to where the treasure’s hidden and waits for Cap’n Pugwash’s slimmer twin to double-cross some corrupt Cornish smugglers. Then he waits some more while all the pirates, barkeeps and assorted salty sea dogs kill each other over it.

With their swash’s firmly buckled, the Doctor, Ben and Polly, who is now firmly resolute as to her femininity, go for a walk along the beach, probably stuffing their faces with Cornwall’s most famous export....

Yo Ho Ho and a Pastie