Rabbit Troop Sucks

In the near future Detroit, criminals are running wild! When officer Alex Murphy (Peter Weller) is killed on duty, Omni Consumer Products (OCP) resurrects him by turning him into a cyborg that will dish out justice. When Murphy becomes Mr. Robocop, his memories erratically surface and his former partner Lewis (Nancy Lewis) tries to remind him of his former human self. Meanwhile, a gang led by ol’ Red Forman, aka Clarence (Kirkwood Smith) is doing a lot of general crime stuff. That’s a robo-no! RTS learns the true meaning of buying “that for a dollar.” Jeremy doesn’t believe in prime directives. This will both benefit and destroy you. La-Mar reprograms Robocop. He now has a Robo-butler. Hot or cold, lunch will be served! Collin saddles up on ED-209. He’s been riding that fella all over town. You know you were planning that, too! Will Robocop ever truly feel again? The answer is no. “Come quietly, or there will be trouble!” “Your move, creep.”

Harry Crumb (John Candy) comes from a long line of great detectives. Unfortunately, Harry has the Crumb name but is a bit more bumbling than the rest of the family. He has been recently hired on for a kidnapping case for the Downing family in L.A. Turns out, the president of the detective agency is the kidnapper and hires Harry for his ineptitude. The wife of the Downings, Helen (Annie Potts), is also trying to kill her husband P.J. (Barry Corbin) so she can take all of his money and spend it with her tennis pro boy toy Vince (Tim Thomerson). Harry teams up with the younger daughter of the family, Nikki (Shawnee Smith), to figure out what is actually going on in all of this craziness. RTS embraces life in disguises. They’ve been around you this entire time. Mike blended into a mural. Jeremy takes a ride through the air ducts. Get ready for his loose change. La-Mar likes traveling through life in a car with no brakes. He’s got places to be. Collin ends up at the Bottom’s Up Club. It was only a matter of time. But, who is Harry Crumb? Will he be washing your windows? Working on your hair or giving you a mud bath? Perhaps you need a jockey? A new air conditioner? Worry not! If there is a case of any sort, Harry Crumb is on it! 

It’s our SUPER HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR episode! Let’s all go to hell! Christine Brown (Alison Lohman), a loan officer, is tasked with being tougher at her job in order to get a promotion. Unfortunately, when she denies a loan to Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver) who is about to have her house foreclosed on, things go wrong for Christine and quickly. Mrs. Ganush attacks Christine, gums her and curses her. Now, Christine races against time to break the curse or she’ll be taken to hell. Bummer! Unhelpful boyfriend Clay (Justin Long) and fortune teller Rham Jas (Dileep Rao) join Christine on this journey. A goat eventually shows up, too! RTS avoids embalming fluid, worms and other gross things from getting poured into their mouths. We suggest you do the same. Jeremy makes a bargain with Lamia. They’re going to Denny’s later. Grand Slam! La-Mar guards all of his buttons. Keeping all those buttons close to his vest. Collin guards all kittens from sacrificial harm. An army of felines is slowly growing. The RTS crew took a field trip to see the new Street Fighter. There’s a mini review of that. There will be trivia. There will be general Halloween merriment! Carve your pumpkins, grab a handful of candy and join us for a ghoulish good time. 

Know what sounds like a grand time? Let’s all go to a dusty, mold-infested gross house for a swell party and a make out session. Clearly, we all need to bring some nitwits with poor decision-making skills. And demons! We need those hungry demons. Clorissa (Joanna Canton), her cute goth friend, Mo (Megahn Perry), and her brother Brant (Liam Kyle Sullivan) bring those friends. They even bring Frijole (Richard Trapp). Frijole! Looks like we need Christine (Adrienne Barbeau) to clean up this unholy mess! RTS is at Denny’s with Coolio! Where the hell else would they be? “Denny’s is for winners!” Mike might not be here for this, but he is hitting up that Grand Slam menu. Jeremy meets some true ride or die friends with Saul (David Gunn) and Dickie-Boy (Kelly Mantle). He gets a nice discount at Dairy Queen now. La-Mar likes the beheading demons and setting them on fire method. He doesn’t even ask questions later. That’s hardcore! Before it’s Halloween this year, try not use a bunch of virgins to create the Antichrist. Not cool! We hope you enjoy this fun, spooky bonus episode. Enjoy it forever! Mwhahhahahha! 

Mean ol’ Warlock (Julian Sands) is transported from 1691 Boston to present day (late 80s) L.A. He crashes right into Kassandra’s (Lori Singer) house and turns her mundane world into chaos. It’s like Cat in the Hat with black magic and murder. Witch hunter Giles Redferene (Richard E. Grant) has been tracking this Warlock through time. Will he be able to stop him now? No matter what, he’s going to have a California adventure. He’ll even fly in a plane for the first time. Meanwhile, Warlock is trying to assemble The Grand Grimoire to put an end to earth. Boy, will he talk about that. RTS takes on all sorts of brutes in an epic barn battle. Jeremy salts his whip tips for magical defense and pleasure. La-Mar takes a pair of psychic eyes to the track. Time to put a little psychic luck on the ponies. Collin goes on a hex spree. Everyone’s getting hexed unless you give him candy. This holiday season, let this sassy warlock fly right into your heart. Well, after he makes some fresh kid butter and heats it in his velvet pouch.

Click click click. Here comes the scurrying of the ticks. A group of mismatched teens with various needs go into the woods led by social workers, Charles (Peter Scolari) and Holly (Rosalind Allen). When the social workers aren’t trying to sex themselves up or work the rusty grill, they make sure the teens walk aimlessly in the woods to build skills? Confidence? New fears? Boredom? Tyler (Seth Green) is one of those teens. So is Darrel ‘Panic’ Lumley (Alfonso Ribeiro). Dee Dee (Ami Dolenz) is there. She can do no wrong/is always welcome at Rabbit Troop. Near the camp, a bunch of weirdos are growing marijuana crops with plant steroids, and, of course, this causes some ravenous mutated ticks to seek out and drain everyone. Does that tick you off? RTS considers Jeremy’s ongoing plan of getting in a van and driving off as fast and far as possible. Jeremy is in that van! As soon as he saw the first tick, vroooooooom! La-Mar wields a flaming broom that would put a Jedi to shame. The ticks, they are-a exploding! Collin learns from the ticks and studies their culture. Since then, he has become an honorary tick father and ambassador to their species. Put on some bug spray, and let’s all go into the woods. Alas, Brutus the dog, you deserved better. 

Radu (Anders Hove) is an angry, mean vampire. He just offed his daddy, King Vladislav (Angus Scrimm), stole the Blood Stone, and he broke the truce between the local human folk and vampires. This guy really needs to calm down – he needs to sit down and have some nice Transylvanian gabagool. While all this vampire shifting hierarchy stuff is taking place, three students, Mara (Irina Movila), Michelle (Laura Mae Tate) and Lillian (Michelle McBride), arrive to study some Romanian culture – and to wander aimlessly with questionable actions. They meet secret vampire (and Radu’s brother) Stefan (Michael Watson) and cause a lot of agita throughout the village. RTS joins Karl (Ivan J. Rado) to blast vamps with some Rosary beads. Adorable minion demons try to sub Mike. Jeremy doesn’t like the goblets of blood, but he is down for a couple of jars of your finest tom-tom chunky. La-Mar creates the most amazing ancient oak stakes. Let the slaying begin! Collin blows the magical flute and summons the Guzzlers food truck. Safe at last! Let’s get a game of poker going with the minions. After, cuddle up in your stiffest coffin for your much needed sleep. 

In the late 50s some weird, smooth aliens dropped a slug vial upon Earth. After some strange and disastrous events, we contained it. Unfortunately, in 1986, a couple of college students, Chris (Jason Lively) and J.C. (Steve Marshall), release a slug-infected corpse that exposes the town to danger – and a good time for the audience. Chris will do all that he can to make sure his dream gal, Cynthia (Jill Whitlow), is safe. If she gets a case of the slug-brain, it might not be good for their potential relationship. Detective Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins) can’t get over the events from 27 years ago, so now that he has a badge and some authority, he uses his unhinged dialogue and questionable police tactics to put an end to this alien slug nonsense. RTS teams up with Walt (Dick Miller) and takes the flamethrower for a little spin. Jeremy knows it’s Miller time from the start! It’s also Miller time in the middle and the end. La-Mar views the entire town from afar. He enjoys the security of his remote safehouse. It has cable TV! Collin tapes his mouth and burns all in his path. Burn, baby! Burn! Enjoy your night at the sorority dance. “Thrill me!” 

JCVD is back for another flick! We have already warned you. Get ready for some serious Van-damage from this Van-dingo! This is even his directorial debut. It’s 1925 and Christopher Dubois (Jean-Claude Van Damme) is running a pickpocket ring with children like he just read Oliver Twist. After robbing some gangsters goes wrong, Christopher is able to escape by stowing away on a boat which leads him to being enslaved by the crew and then saved by Lord Edgar Dobbs (Roger Moore) and Harry Smythe (Jack McGee). These two gents then sell Christopher in Siam. For some reason he begins training in Muay Thai. He dominates and wants to go to the Lost City in Tibet for a fancy tournament fight – winner gets a golden dragon. They all team up with the U.S. heavyweight boxing champion, Maxie Devine (James Remar), and reporter Carrie Newton (Janet Gunn). RTS takes in the tame attempts at tournament fighting brutality. They also take in a few Mai Tais. Jeremy keeps the golden dragon! He fought for it! It’s his souvenir forever! La-Mar rids the streets of all clown boys. We just can’t have that happening in a civilized society. Along the way, you might be questioning your own quest in watching this film. “It was long ago.” 

Thank you to our listener, Ryan, for requesting this ninja versus samurai goodness. Also, this one goes out to Paul’s friend Paul. They saw this one in the theater so long ago. While on business in Nagoya, Japan, Paul Racine (Christopher Lambert) hooks up with Kirina (Joan Chen) who is a million times out of his league. He later returns to her hotel room just in time to witness a ninja assassination on her life and the ninja cult leader Kinjo’s (John Lone) unmasked face. A samurai couple, Takeda (Yoshio Harada) and Mieko (Yoko Shimada), attempt to help Paul. He’s being HUNTED! But, in reality, Paul becomes bait to lure Kinjo out. Who will be victorious? RTS shares a bottle of saké with Oshima (Tak Kubota). They wake up with so much folded steel. Jeremy witnesses some ninja carnage on a train. He pours himself a large glass of Suntory whisky off to the side. La-Mar arrives with many metal briefcases and many shuriken. Collin finds the ninja spawn points and turns them off. As simple as that! Put on your piggy underwear, pick up a rusty sword and get ready for battle.