Rachel & Sam Read a Story

It's simple.

If you stop listening, we slowly fade away. The attentive ears of a grateful audience are all that breathed life into us in the first place, and now, you're thinking about NOT listening? .....oh no!

This book, Please Open this Book, is similar. These poor adorable animals only exist within the pages of this book. But you MONSTERS callously insist on closing the cover. Why? WHY? WHYYYYYYYY??

Would a banana make it better?

Good.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Poor Mr. Pip. If only people understood him more! Or if he were named after one of the less... thrown-away-y parts of a fruit!

But I guess it's not all bad. He is owned by THE famous actor. So that's nice.

Then he gets put on loan to what has to be the most well-funded science institute OF ALL TIME. Seriously, robots, rockets to the moon, and MORE robots. It's crazy!

And all just to make Mr. Pip happy! Hmmm... I guess like isn't so bad for this monkey!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

I have been requesting this book for some time. It is good book.

Or rather, I should say it is a good part of an otherwise ALSO good book! The Stinky Cheese Man is one of those play-on fairy tales that so accurately captures the spirit of the original while simultaneously parodying it, that I just think we should just have this and move on with our lives.

Rachel was convinced.

And I will just say, for the record, that Blue Cheese is delicious.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

We did not see this book coming.

Seriously, out of left field it was.

Anyway, there's this kid that comes to town. Mighty fine sheriff this youngin' turns out to be. Now, sure, you might be athinkin' that ain't no kid should be policin' the streets of such a rough a tumble town.

Well, you'd be wrong.

Addendum: WHO kisses a COW? Since when is that a THING??

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

I mean, sure, a lot of kids would want a puppy. Or a cat of some variety. They're quite popular after all. But, if your world is populated by baby monsters, then wouldn't you just want one of those adorable little fuzzballs for your very own?

I dunno, probably!

I Want a MONSTER! Is a super fun look at a kid who just wants a pet, but sometimes the pet you want is a little more than you can handle. The important thing is we all learned a valuable lesson about... wait... what was that? ... We DIDN'T learn a lesson? ... We didn't learn ANYTHING?

...

Well, at least we had fun!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Man, if there's one thing I've always hated... it's bedtime. Sure, there all fun during the day. And it's so cute when they try and get there work done or ask for help, but the end of the day... UGG.

I really don't like having to put my parents to bed.

Luckily there's a book with some helpful suggestions about how to make the process a whole lot smoother. Because let me tell ya, I'm never upset to get those "putting parents to bed life hacks" on my facebook page.

Give it a listen and maybe you'll learn a trick or two, um, too.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

MuAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!

Oh, ahem, excuse me! I didn't see you sitting there. I was practicing my evil laugh. The teacher says that if I don't get it just right by next Tuesday, then I may have to stay back a grade.

I wish I were a natural super-villain. Man, if this stuff came more easily, this'd be great! Like that Dylan kid. Now THERE is a kids who's going places in villainy. I can only dream of being that good.

Now, if you'll excuse me. Erhmm. Ah ha ha ha! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

You ever wonder what your food does as soon as you close the refrigerator door? Well, worry no more because Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast is here to answer that question using delightful rhyme-scheme.

So sit back and enjoy this world full of horrible mutilations and presumed cannibalism! At least, that was out take.

But the real issue here, is one that I just thought of. If this is the world on the other side of the refrigerator door... how are any of the characters able to see? I'm pretty sure the light in the fridge turns off when I close the door, but... hmmmm...

I better go check.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Jungle Book is all sorts of popular right now. And it should be. It's great! But what if the kid raised by wolves actually lived with the rest of humanity? How endearing would it be then?

Still quite endearing, it turns out!

Steve, Raised by Wolves is about alternate universe Calvin, or rather what Calvin WISHES his life were like, but I might just be projecting. Or maybe I'm not. WHO KNOWS??

It's a book about a kid with odd parents, but at the end of the day, isn't every book about that?

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Jimmy Fallon, you scoundrel you, how are you gonna convince your kids to say "Dada" before "Mama"? Ah, I see, you chose to write book where EVERY OTHER WORD IS DADA.

*sigh*

Look, I can understand the desperate need to defeat your wife. I really do. (Believe me) But I can't help but feel as though this is cheating.

We get to learn about aminals (spelled correctly) and... emotions I guess? But the real question, Jimmy, is this: Did it work?

No? Ah. Well... that's too bad.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!