This is the attitude. Not that you don’t care, that you care less.
Let’s break it down.
Everyone cares. You are human after all.
The power comes in the discipline and experience it takes to care less about stupid sh!t and inconsequential things.
No one is negating that if you’re a human being, you have feelings too and you can be sensitive at times. Certain individuals have a rougher exterior, but no one is immune to being affected by the right person who knows how to hit the right buttons.
* You may be gruff with the guys you work with on the job, but you melt if it’s your little daughter.
* You may be the boss lady in the office, but you get weak in the knees for your crush.
* You may have a rough exterior, but even you are not immune to being affected by the right person who knows how to hit the right buttons. You are human too.
No one is saying that you do not care at all. Don’t be ridiculous.
The attitude that’s BOSS is when you care less for the immaterial and inconsequential aka stupid sh!t that doesn’t matter. You also don’t want to extend for those who don’t deserve your attention. That’s the attitude you want.
I taught myself as a kid to overcome shyness, and I’m perfectly content being more side kick than life of the party. Yet in my job, I help my clients with mock interviews for their job search and help men practice the cold approach of asking a woman for her phone number in public. I help my clients with social skills, and I’m fascinated with the interplay of interpersonal dynamics. That’s why I did this clip on Charisma with Dr. Peter McCullough. I am interested in emotional intelligence and social aptitude.
At the highest level, is the ability to shake off nerves and have an uber level of Confidence This ability puts you in an elite category, that you’re aware of others reactions but you’re not controlled by them. Master this, the world is yours for the taking. That’s the attitude you want.
Can you be casual in the following scenarios:
* A woman rejects you for a date. Instead of lashing out angrily at her and belittling females in general, you let it roll off your back. She has a right to decline, and you have the discipline as well as experience to let it go with grace.
* You got passed over for a promotion. Your inclination is to blame your boss, your colleagues and the world at large. The company made their choice, it wasn’t you, yet you’re able to shake it off and stay positive that you’re still good at your job.
* Your husband no longer loves you and is leaving you too. You can hate him, but that won’t make him want to be with you. You look at what you both did to contribute to the demise of your marriage, own your part in it. You’re in pain and you process this break-up, but you determine to live your life with or without him.
Can you be casual in the face of real hardship and emotional angst?
REJECTION, SHAME, ANGER
Can you shake off disillusionment, stop blaming everyone and their brother for all that ails you and move it along. Can you do this.
It’s not easy. You are human too. You feel too.
This is upper echelon skill, when you make the choice to care less, about things that don’t matter and those who don’t deserve. Both.
I’m emotional, wear my heart on my sleeve and feel deeply. I’m working on this skill myself. You must gut it out, make real effort to win at this. Worth it.
Mini examples in my own life:
* A client last year asked to come back to sessions, I said no. I will not tolerate bad behavior. Do not care. The answer is no.
* A man texted me, making an excuse for weeks long absence since his first initial text of interest. I did not reply. You have one chance to get my attention. Do not care. The answer is no.
* A friend tried to text my cell phone, email my personal account and message me on Telegram. I blocked her on all platforms. This was a woman who’d been to my apartment for dinner many times. I will not respond to bad behavior, a prior incident ensured that I cut off contact. Do not care. The answer is no.
* A man who had cold approached me for my phone number, texted about a coffee date. I texted back that “We can be friends.” I do not go on coffee or drink dates. No effort, no date. Do not care. The answer is no.
* A connection on linkedin messaged out of the blue, after being a no show for a zoom networking appointment prior. Not interested. You waste my time, you will not get a second chance. Do not care. The answer is no.
The reality for you and for me, is that various factors come into play for how long of a leash we give someone.
* Our personality
* Our bias
* Our experience
* Our circumstances
And the biggest factor of all, who that other person is. If perceive that individual to be important, have something we want, we’re sexually attracted or otherwise impressed, we give those individuals a longer leash.
Of course, I give a longer leash on occasion and to some people.
But have I cut off clients and personal friends in the LAST YEAR, yes, I have. I do not tolerate disrespect, bad behavior and I will call your bluff.
Do I make exceptions and also mistakes, of course, I’m human too.
But more times than I don’t, I say no. Do not care. The answer is no.
In your life, be prepared to come across the individual who won’t put up with your bullsh!t and for whom you will only get one shot.
Even better.
Be that person. Who calls the shots. The one who could care less for the immaterial and inconsequential. That’s the attitude you want.
It’s in the stratosphere, that skill level, to make a move and act when you want vs be reactive to others. You either control the dynamic or you risk being controlled by others. You’re either upper echelon in social skills and emotional intelligence, or you get strung along by being mentally weak and equally undisciplined.
I’m a work in progress too. I’m human and so are you. We all make exceptions for certain people, also depends on how we feel in that moment and the circumstances. But more often than you don’t, you want the ability to . . . care less . . . about the immaterial and inconsequential.
You will be happier. You will be in control more. You will get what you want more often than you don’t with that attitude . . . caring less . . . about stupid sh!t.
I have my two best friends to thank for showing me how it’s done. Those two men are in the Top Tier of the power dynamic. It’s by their example, that I’m learning how to care about what’s important and . . . care less . . . about that which matters less. I thank them for showing me how it’s done.
In the video clip, leftist lunatic Don Lemon is whining per his usual, trying to trap Elon Musk into caring about moronic stupid sh!t. Only thing, loser Lemon has met a man who could . . . care less . . . about his ilk and says so. “I could care less.” QUOTE Elon Musk. That’s the attitude everyone should have with covidiots.
In this life, you either control yourself with discipline or risk being controlled by others.
Learn this skill, to CARE LESS for things that don’t matter and for those who don’t deserve. You will be better off, also happier.
rhmaldonado.com
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