Random Stuff

Holla atcha Doofions! Guess what I hate this week: WEB ADS. Yup. Why? Because they are everywhere? Ironically, no. I hate them because THEY ARE WRONG. Seriously, Internet, if you're going to plaster my screen with endless pop-ups and promos and SPAM emails, at least have the good sense to send me things that I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT!

Okay, I have to admit, this whole "interweb" thing is pretty neat. It's like a new surprise every day. I've recently discovered this thing called "Life Hacks" — which is way less nefarious sounding than it actually is, mind you — and I was so inspired that I decided to make my own: DOOF HACKS!

Listen up, internet! I have an announcement to make and it's SUPER IMPORTANT, so pay attention!

I have just one question for One Direction: what came first, the band name or the hair style? Seriously, I'm looking at you Harry Styles...

Alright Doof-ions, your fearless and improbably handsome leader has a new topic he'd like to discuss this week. I know it's something you've been waiting for me to chime in about for weeks. Minecraft? No. Dr Who? Not really. Actually, it's something much more important than all those things: BAKE SALES, AND THE FACT THAT THEY ARE TOTALLY LAME.

The interwebs are full of all kinds of weird unknowns that people just ignore. Well, NO LONGER, in this groundbreaking exposé I'm going to tear the lid right off the internet crazy bin and reveal to you those dark questions that everyone is afraid to ask! PREPARE TO BE AMAZED AND EXCITED... or just confused.

DOOF REPLIES -- PART DEUX ... or something. Hey Doofions, I'm back with another response to one of your comments. Honestly, if this was an Upworthy post, I might title it "A kid asks Doof a random question, you won't believe what happens next..." Anyways, ciaoy ciao!

\Hey guys, has anyone heard of this awesome song OPEN QUANTUM STYLE? I think it's going to be a hit!!! Some people insist it's spelled "Gangnam Style" but I'm pretty sure they are totally wrong.

So for this episode I decided to do things a little differently and reply to a few of my favorite comments. Prepare to have your minds blown, internet minions, because the Doof is about to reply to YOU. Well, maybe not "YOU" personally unless you're like one of the 4 people who I specifically responded to... I mean "YOU" in a more general sense -- but, wait -- you know what nevermind, you get the point.

The internet is full of cats. I'm not sure why. I'm also not sure why they insist on terrible grammar and spelling practices, but I'm convinced that it is bad for the children of America. LISTEN UP SHEEPLE, IT'S TIME TO STAND UP TO THE INTERNET CAT CONSPIRACY.