What if the thing everyone admires about you is actually something you learned to survive?

In this episode of RAW CHATTER, I’m joined by psychotherapist, divorce coach and author Eve Stanway , for a fascinating conversation about hyper-competence, identity, difficult relationships and what happens when being "the capable one" becomes part of who you believe you are.

Eve grew up in circumstances that required her to become extraordinarily responsible from a very young age.

She learnt to make decisions.

To cope.

To perform.

To be the person other people could rely on.

And because she was good at it, she was valued for it.

But decades later came a much harder realisation:

Was she valued for who she was, or for the role she performed?

We talk about how childhood experiences can quietly shape our adult identity, why survival behaviours don't always look like survival, and what can happen when the person who has always coped suddenly realises they don't want to live that way anymore.

We also explore Eve's own divorce, her 25 years as a psychotherapist, the impact of family breakdown on children, why difficult conversations matter, and the extraordinary decision she made in her 50s to create the space to discover who she actually was.

That decision opened the door to something she hadn't expected.

Creativity.

Writing.

Pottery.

Sailing.

Joy.

And growth that was no longer about proving how competent she could be.

Eve also shares the story behind her writing and her forthcoming book exploring difficult conversations between parents and young adults, launching on 1 September.

If you're the person everyone relies on...If you've spent years being described as strong, capable, independent or "the one who always sorts things out"...

This conversation may make you question where that identity came from.

Because sometimes the behaviours we think are our personality are behaviours we learnt because, at one point, we needed them.

Information is everywhere. Understanding is rare.

🔗 CONNECT WITH EVE

📩 Email: [email protected]🌐Website: www.evestanway.co.uk

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/evestanway/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/evestanway

📚 Conversations from the Shoreline: www.evestanway.co.uk

📚 Eve's new book, Dare to Listen:

Navigating Difficult Conversations with Young Adults Aged 16 to 28 is launching 1 September available from all good bookstores.

🎧 Listen to her podcast: Dare to Speak – Difficult Conversations that Change Everything on Spotify or Apple.

Vicky xx

Stay Connected with Vicky

📩 Join my personal newsletter for weekly insights into human behaviour, health, performance and the psychology behind lasting change: https://tinyurl.com/2jbbmtuv

🌐 Website: https://www.vickymidwood.com

Socials:

💼 LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickymidwood/

📘 Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/vickymidwood

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vickymidwood_gfc/

🎙️ RAW CHATTER Podcast - If you enjoyed this episode, please Like, Subscribe and Share.

It really helps more people discover these conversations.Information is everywhere. Understanding is rare.

And remember...We only have one life, as far as we know, and one body. Please look after it, because it is looking after you.

What happens when the company that constantly tells you how valuable you are suddenly stops treating you like a human being?For Natalie Renee Parker, that question became very real.After a frightening health crisis led to hospitalisation, a blood transfusion and ultimately major surgery, Natalie was preparing to take medical leave when her employer attempted to lay her off just days before the operation.Instead of quietly accepting what was happening, she advocated for herself.That experience became part of a much bigger turning point, leading Natalie to leave corporate America, start her own business and dedicate her work to changing the way organisations think about leadership, accountability and the people behind the job titles.In this episode Natalie and I talk about:• Why bad leadership can affect far more than your working day• The difference between managing people and actually leading them• Why accountability has to work both ways• What employees should reasonably expect from their leaders• Why people often tolerate poor behaviour when they don't know what good leadership looks like• How to advocate for yourself without abandoning your values• Why workplace problems can feel deeply personal when they often aren't• The importance of dignity, compassion and humanity at work• Why leaders need feedback and accountability too• How a health crisis forced Natalie to question whether she was living the life she actually wantedNatalie makes a brilliant point during our conversation:"Leadership is a product, and the employee is the consumer of that product."And perhaps one of the biggest reminders from this episode is that the people we remember from our careers aren't necessarily the ones who achieved the biggest numbers.We remember how they made us feel and who they were to us.If you've ever worked for a difficult boss, questioned whether something happening at work was acceptable, struggled to speak up, or you're responsible for leading other people, this conversation is well worth listening to.Because your job title doesn't stop you being human.And neither does theirs.Information is everywhere. Understanding is rare.Vicky xxConnect with Natalie Here:Linkedin:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/natalie-renee-parker/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natalieparkerenterprises/Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/thenatalieparker/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@UCXmh2Q4n6sNneJ23nxiGidw Natalie's TEDx talk: Listen HereCheck out her podcast "So Your Boss Sucks":Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/so-your-boss-sucks-now-what/id1788316078 Amazon: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/98c5fa73-8fd8-4c15-98b6-9b20bb6d5792/so-your-boss-sucks-now-what Stay Connected with Vicky 📩 Join my personal newsletter for weekly insights into human behaviour, health, performance and the psychology behind lasting change:https://tinyurl.com/2jbbmtuv🌐 Website: https://www.vickymidwood.com

Socials:

💼 LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickymidwood/

📘 Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/vickymidwood

📸 Instagram:️ https://www.instagram.com/vickymidwood_gfc/

RAW CHATTER Podcast - If you enjoyed this episode, please Like, Subscribe and Share. It really helps more people discover these conversations.Information is everywhere. Understanding is rare.And remember...We only have one life, as far as we know, and one body. Please look after it, because it is looking after you.

Do you work hard because you genuinely care about what you do...

Or because somewhere underneath it all, you're still trying to prove that you're worthy of what you receive?

Because unworthiness doesn't always look like low self-esteem.

It can look like being incredibly hardworking.

Being the reliable one.

Over-delivering.

Undercharging.

Working through lunch.

Struggling to accept help.

Feeling guilty when you rest.

Brushing off compliments.

Or believing you need to give more before you've earned the right to receive.

In this solo episode of RAW CHATTER, I'm exploring the much sneakier ways worthiness shows up in successful business owners and high-performing professionals.

Because there's an important distinction between working hard from integrity and working hard to prove something about yourself.

I talk about:

👉 Why high standards, independence and generosity can sometimes disguise a worthiness issue
👉Why some of us find receiving far harder than giving
👉The link between worthiness, pricing and over-delivering
👉Why you may feel you have to earn rest
👉How being "the reliable one" can become part of your identity
👉Why knowing you need better boundaries doesn't necessarily change your behaviour
👉The real cost of constantly trying to prove yourself
👉How to recognise when enough really IS enough

And there's a question in this episode that I really want you to sit with:

At what point did being excellent at what you do become needing to exhaust yourself to prove that you are excellent at it?

Look back over the last seven days and ask yourself:

Where did I give more than I actually needed to?

Where did I refuse help?

Where did I make something harder than it needed to be?

Where did I say yes when I wanted to say no?

Where did I feel guilty for resting?

Where did I do something because I didn't want somebody to think badly of me?

Where did I feel I had to earn something I was already entitled to receive?

Then choose ONE and ask:

What did I believe it would say about me if I didn't do that?

Don't judge the answer. Get curious about it.

Because working hard isn't the problem. Caring isn't the problem. Being generous isn't the problem. Ambition isn't the problem.

But needing those things to prove that you deserve your success, money, rest, relationships or place in the room is something very different.

Information is everywhere. Understanding is rare.

Vicky xx

📩 Join my personal newsletter for weekly insights into human behaviour, health, performance and the psychology behind lasting change:
https://tinyurl.com/2jbbmtuv

🌐 Website: https://www.vickymidwood.com

🎙️ RAW CHATTER Podcast
Available on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

If you enjoyed this episode, please Like, Subscribe and Share. It really helps more people discover these conversations.

Information is everywhere. Understanding is rare.

And remember...

We only have one life, as far as we know, and one body. Please look after it, because it is looking after you.

✍️ Try this exerciseStay Connected

Whether you're leaving corporate, growing a business or simply struggling to explain what makes you different, this conversation will completely change the way you think about your brand.🎧 Listen now and discover why your greatest competitive advantage isn't your logo...It's you.Vicky xxConnect with Sally Inkster🌐 Website: https://www.sallyinkster.com/💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sallyinksterStay Connected📩 Join my personal newsletter for weekly insights into human behaviour, health, performance and the psychology behind lasting change:https://tinyurl.com/2jbbmtuv🌐 Website: https://www.vickymidwood.com🎙️ RAW CHATTER PodcastAvailable on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.If you enjoyed this episode, please Like, Subscribe and Share. It really helps more people discover these conversations.Remember...We only have one life, as far as we know, and one body. Please look after it... because it is looking after you.Socials: 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickymidwood/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vickymidwood📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vickymidwood

How many times have you been told..."You just need to try harder."

For many people, that advice doesn't motivate them, it creates shame.

In this powerful episode of Raw Chatter, I sit down with Karen, founder of "Try Harder Is BS", to explore what it's really like living with ADHD, autism and AuDHD, and why so many intelligent, capable people spend years believing they're simply not trying hard enough.

We talk about:

✅ Why "try harder" is often the worst advice you can give

✅ ADHD, autism and the internal "brain war" so many people experience

✅ Why girls and women are still so frequently missed or diagnosed late

✅ The hidden cost of masking

✅ Meltdowns, burnout and nervous system overload

✅ How to stop fighting your brain and start working with it instead

✅ Why success comes from understanding your strengths, not forcing yourself to fit someone else's rules

One line from Karen sums up the whole conversation:"A life that works for you doesn't have to make sense to anyone else."

Whether you're neurodivergent yourself, suspect you might be, support someone who is, or simply want to understand human behaviour better, this episode is packed with practical insight and refreshing honesty.

👇 Connect with Karen:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tryharderisbs/

Email: [email protected]

You can join Karyn 'live' on August 6th at 12 noon talking about Understanding Neurodivergence at Leah Wren’s "Lunchbreak that Changes Everything"

Use this link to register: https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/form/p9rQq371T1ZIpvLao1KD

If this episode resonates with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

👍 Like | Subscribe | Share

Vicky xx

🎥 WATCH MY FREE MASTERCLASS:

Why Awareness Alone Keeps People Stuck: The Hidden Patterns Shaping Your Energy, Health & PerformanceDetails here: go-figure-coaching-mlg3hl.subscribepage.io

🌐 Website:https://www.vickymidwood.com

📩 Email:[email protected]

🔗 Connect with me:

LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickymidwood/

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/vicky.midwood

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/vickymidwood_gfc/

#ADHD #Autism #AuDHD #Neurodiversity #Burnout #HumanBehaviour #Leadership #SelfAwareness #RawChatterPodcast

What would make someone walk away from a multi-million-pound business they built from nothing?

In this week's episode of Raw Chatter, I sit down with Vishrant, whose extraordinary life story completely challenges the way we think about success, purpose and fulfilment.

By the age of 28, he'd built a hugely successful publishing business and retired.

Then everything changed.

After surviving 18 hours in the ocean, surrounded by sharks during a cyclone, he experienced something that completely transformed the direction of his life.

He gave away his business.

Walked barefoot around Australia for four years.

Studied psychotherapy and naturopathy.

And has since spent nearly three decades helping people stop suffering by changing the way they see themselves and the world.

In this conversation we explore:

✅ Building success from nothing

✅ Why money alone wasn't enough

✅ The life-changing experience that changed everything

✅ Self-acceptance and overcoming "not good enough"

✅ Mentorship and personal growth

✅ Letting go of identity

✅ Why real success starts from within

Whether you're a business owner, leader, entrepreneur or simply questioning what success really means, this conversation will leave you thinking long after it ends.

One sentence from Vishrant stayed with me:

"If you want a happy life, accept life as it is."

Checkout his website here:

🌐 https://vishrant.org

📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@vishrant

Social Mediahttps://www.facebook.com/vishrantprem/

https://instagram.com/vishrantprem

https://www.tiktok.com/@vishrantprem

Vicky xx

Connect with Vicky Midwood🌐 https://www.vickymidwood.com

💼 LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickymidwood/

📸 Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/vickymidwood_gfc/

📧 [email protected]

If you enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe and share it with someone who needs to hear this conversation.

You don't have to love yourself to stop attacking yourself.

For years I believed that "self-love" was the answer... but I couldn't even imagine what that meant. I didn't like myself, let alone love myself.

Maybe you've felt the same.

If you've ever criticised yourself for eating too much, drinking too much, saying yes when you wanted to say no, missing the gym, making mistakes, or feeling like you're never quite enough, this episode is for you.

In this episode of RAW CHATTER, I explain why self-respect not self-love is often the first step towards lasting behaviour change.

We explore the difference between:

✔️ Self-worth
✔️ Self-esteem
✔️ Self-respect

...and why understanding those differences can completely change how you think, feel and behave.

We'll also explore why so many successful people still feel they have to earn rest, approval, success or even the right to look after themselves.

Because lasting change doesn't begin with perfection.

It begins with respect.

Pause the episode and spend some time with these questions.

• Where in your life are you abandoning yourself?
• Where are you criticising yourself?
• What promises have you broken to yourself this week?
• Whose approval are you still trying to earn?
• If someone you loved spoke to themselves the way you speak to yourself, what would you say to them?
• Why don't you deserve that same respect?
• What would respecting yourself look like right now?

There are no right or wrong answers.

Just be honest.

Awareness is where change begins.

Vicky xx

🎓 Watch my FREE Masterclass:
https://go-figure-coaching-mlg3hl.subscribepage.io

🌐 Website
https://www.vickymidwood.com

🎙️ Subscribe to RAW CHATTER for more conversations about behaviour change, health, performance and the hidden patterns keeping us stuck.

If you found this episode helpful, please:

👍 Like

💬 Leave a comment

📤 Share it with someone who needs to hear it

🔔 Subscribe for future episodes.

Remember...

You don't have to love yourself to stop attacking yourself.

Self-care starts with self-respect.

#SelfRespect #SelfLove #BehaviourChange #MentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #PeoplePleasing #Confidence #Boundaries #SelfWorth #SelfEsteem #Health #Wellbeing #Mindset #Psychology #RawChatter

What happens when life throws you something you never expected?

In this powerful episode of Raw Chatter, I'm joined by an incredible guest who shares her experience of navigating cancer three times, running a business, making difficult decisions, and learning one of the most important lessons of all...Never hand over your power.

We talk openly about self-advocacy, trusting yourself, asking better questions, navigating the healthcare system, and why so many successful people ignore their own instincts until life forces them to stop.

This isn't just a conversation about cancer.It's a conversation about leadership, identity, resilience, and learning to become your own strongest advocate—in your health, your business and your life.

If you've ever felt dismissed...

If you've ever doubted yourself...

Or if you've ever put everyone else's needs before your own...

This episode is for you.

Vicky xx

🎧 Listen now and let us know what resonated most.

👤 Connect with Deb Krier

🌐 Website: https://tryingnottodie.live

💼 Business Website: https://debkrier.com

🎙️ The Business Power Hour Podcast: https://thebusinesspowerhour.com

📩 Email: [email protected]

📞 Phone: +1 303-594-8930

If you enjoyed this episode, I'd really appreciate it if you liked, subscribed and shared it with someone who needs to hear this conversation.

Because sometimes one conversation can change everything.

🔗 Connect with me

🌐 Website: https://www.vickymidwood.com

🎙️ Free Masterclass:https://go-figure-coaching-mlg3hl.subscribepage.io

💼 LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickymidwood/

📸 Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/vickymidwood_gfc/

📘 Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/vicky.midwood

📩 Email:[email protected]

Have you ever caught yourself thinking:

"I know what to do... so why am I still not doing it?"
"I've tried everything and nothing seems to work."
"Why do I keep repeating the same patterns?"

In this episode of RAW CHATTER, I explore one of the biggest reasons lasting change feels so difficult.

The problem isn't always that you're choosing the wrong solution.

It's that you may be trying to solve the wrong problem.

I share stories from my own journey through addiction, binge eating and perfectionism, together with real client examples that reveal why understanding the pattern behind a behaviour is often more important than trying harder to change it.

Towards the end of the episode, I invite you to grab a pen and paper and answer three powerful questions:

📝 1. Where in your life are you trying harder?

📝 2. Where are you collecting more information?

📝 3. Where are you assuming you already know what the problem is?

Your answers may completely change how you think about the challenges you're facing.

If this episode resonates with you, I'd highly recommend watching my free 17-minute masterclass:

🎥 Why Awareness Alone Keeps People Stuck – The Hidden Patterns Shaping Your Energy, Health & Performance

👉 https://go-figure-coaching-mlg3hl.subscribepage.io

🌐 Website:
https://www.vickymidwood.com

📩 Email:
[email protected]

🔗 Connect with me:

LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickymidwood/

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/vicky.midwood

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/vickymidwood_gfc/

If you enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Remember...

The thing you think needs fixing isn't always the thing that's creating the problem.

Why do we keep going back to behaviours we know aren't helping us?

Why do we overthink, people please, comfort eat, drink too much, avoid difficult conversations or keep repeating the same patterns despite desperately wanting something different?

In this episode of RAW CHATTER, I explore why awareness alone isn't enough to create lasting change.

We look at:

✅ Why the brain is a prediction machine

✅ FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real

✅ How your nervous system responds to imagined threats as if they're real

✅ Why familiar patterns feel safer than unfamiliar ones

✅ The boomerang effect that pulls people back into old habits

✅ How identity shapes behaviour

✅ Why repetition and adaptation matter more than willpower

If you've ever found yourself saying:"I know what I need to do, I just don't do it."

This episode is for you.

🎥 WATCH MY FREE MASTERCLASS:

Why Awareness Alone Keeps People Stuck: The Hidden Patterns Shaping Your Energy, Health & Performance

Details here: go-figure-coaching-mlg3hl.subscribepage.io

🌐 Website:https://www.vickymidwood.com

📩 Email: [email protected]

🔗 Connect with me:

LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickymidwood/

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/vicky.midwood

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/vickymidwood_gfc/

Remember:

The old pattern isn't winning because it's better.

It's winning because it's had more practice.