Welcome to the Annual General Meeting of the Agoraphobic Society. This year’s excursion will be through a magic door we’ve just discovered in the bathroom and there are a few things you’re going to need if you go through.

1 x seasoned onion, large

1 x bowl of cornflakes (wine-soaked)

1 x hard-earned pea

1 x yellow cable

6 x IQ points

3 x future selves

If you have all of those, we’re ready to go. Just a few notes before we set off… Keep a tight hold of your legs, avoid the killer gooseberries, do NOT, under any circumstances, apologise for the chicken….oh, and don't be fooled by the night watchman, he’s just finished reading the junior colour encyclopaedia of space and he’s feeling under-appreciated.