I was sexually abused as a child and it still impacts me at almost 60 years old. It took me a long time to be able to tell this story and to look back at the psychological impact that these terrible experiences had on me. It was a confusing time where I lost so much of myself, but telling this story has been cathartic. If you need help there are resources below. 

 

Key Takeaways: 

 

[2:45] My mom was a stay at home mother and my dad worked a lot 

[4:20] First instance of sexual abuse  

[6:46] It happening again and feeling terrible for not saying anything 

[9:40] First physical incident and the fear it created in me 

[14:28] Being abused constantly in 5th grade

[18:04] Setting fire to my clothing 

[19:07] My social life began to tank in 5th grade  

[21:30] Being aware of my sexuality  

[23:35] Being abused again, but having a better understanding 

[25:07] Going to the ER for asthma and feeling safe in the hospital 

[26:32] Being abused in 6th grade and hypervigilance 

[28:59] Having to get my siblings ready in the morning

[31:08] Beginning to understand the full scope of sexual abuse 

[33:16] The last abuse attempt and telling my mom 

[35:23] Looking back on the psychological changes in me 

[37:41] Family history of abuse and generational trauma    

[39:41] Struggling with sleeping with a lot of people in my early twenties 

[42:54] Isolating myself, depression, and exhaustion  

[45:14] Reexperiencing trauma and hypervigilance 

[47:14] Parental support helped save me 

[47:44] My response to sexual abuse 

[50:41] How being abused affected my parenting 

[52:33] Getting very sick in the hospital and not eating 

[53:59] The good and the bad in my life 

[56:18] Releasing these words is cathartic to me 

[57:14] Victims are not at fault for being assaulted 

[57:39] Losing parts of myself, but continuing to push forward

Resources:

 

• Twister Movie

• National Sexual Abuse Hotline

• National Domestic Abuse Hotline

• Helping Survivors

Connect with Barb:

 

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Be a guest on the podcast 

 

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The Molly B Foundation