Reaching Out with Michael Constable

I'm beyond excited about this week's episode featuring Eric Williams, who also happens to be the host of one of my new favorite podcasts, That's A Gay  Ass Podcast!

We chat about so much on this episode, it's ridic.  He and I bond over our shared love for choreographed danced routines, daddies, and Jeff Probst's iconic nudes.

Eric then tells us about his coming out experience which includes saur many good topics:

• Well-intentioned-but-damaging subtext from the responses of friends and family when you come out to them
• The connection that gay men might have between danger and desire from growing up keeping a secret that feels, well, dangerous
• His act of gay rebellion that is refusing to withhold feelings or secrets as an out adult after holding the physically and mentally heavy secret of being queer during closeted his years

We also debut a new segment asking our guests about their Rainbow Flags -- or the endearing signs they should have known they were queer before they came out.  Rainbow Flags are not new to Reaching Out, in fact, they come up so often that we decided to dedicate a whole segment to them! Eric graciously and bravely agrees to be our guinea pig for the new segment.

Eric was such an absolute joy to talk to, I could not be more excited for you to hear his story.

Enjoy!

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Episode Links:

• Eric's Instagram/TikTok:
  • @ericwillz
  • @gayasspodcast
  • @erikwillztt
• That's A Gay Ass Podcast:
  • Spotify
  • Apple Podcasts

Follow along with Reaching Out:

• Podcast's Instagram: @reachingoutpod
• Podcast's Twitter: @reachingoutpod
• Michael's Instagram: @michaelwingsit

Today we finally allow the lovely Aisha Khan to introduce herself after doing the entire prior episode reviewing Sex Education without having her do so!

In this episode Aisha and I cover it all!  She tells us about some of her first crushes in school (both male and female, student and teacher.... relatable vibes), how growing up with fellow misfits made her transition into queerness a natural one, and the impact of growing up in a multicultural family situation since Aisha is part Mexican, Pakistani, and Saudi.  She also talks about the stigma that the bisexual community has experienced historically, not only from the heterosexual community but from within the queer community as well.

Aisha and I also dive into some other interesting queer topics like different types of relationships, thoughts and experiences with open relationships, and wanting to peacock your queerness -- well, at all times -- but especially while in a straight presenting relationship.

Listening to Aisha tell her story is like letting your brain be hugged by the coziest wool blanket, you will j'adore it.

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Episode Links:

• Aisha's Instagram: @lavidaoosha
• Queer Content Review: Sex Education
  • Spotify
  • Apple Podcasts

Follow along with Reaching Out:

• Podcast's Instagram: @reachingoutpod
• Podcast's Twitter: @reachingoutpod
• Michael's Instagram: @michaelwingsit

We start the episode with a little 1:1 catch up between you and I -- some podcast updates, sneak peak at some exciting things in the works, travel updates, Pride plans, and more!

We've got a very special episode for you this week featuring a dear friend of mine, Aisha Khan (she/her)!

When Aisha and I started talking about queer life and coming out, we talked about queer content and how much better and more available it is now -- highlighted, in Aisha's opinion, by Sex Education on Netflix. I had only seen season one a few years back and so she issued an ultimatum of sorts -- in order for her to be a guest on my podcast, I had to finish season two and three.

It took a while for me to get the momentum to start such a daunting undertaking, but almost immediately after I did, I was OBSESSED.  Obsessed enough that we decided to do a new type of episode format -- a Queer Content Review!

We knew that we were going to talk about Sex Education in her episode, but we didn't know that (1) we would accidentally dive into talking about Sex Education in thorough detail right away and (2) that it would warrant its own separate episode, and that's what this episode is.

We got so excited after all the build up that I even forgot to have Aisha introduce herself (whoopsies).  This episode is us discussing the importance and brilliance of Sex Education and how amazing it is that educational queer content like this exists (and only lament a teensy bit that it was not available to us growing up).

Next week we will properly let Aisha introduce herself and share her story.

If you enjoyed the Queer Content Review style format, please let me know so that we can do more episodes like this in the future. <3

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Episode Links:

• Aisha's Instagram: @lavidaoosha
• Sex Education Bus Scene: YouTube

Follow along with Reaching Out:

• Podcast's Instagram: @reachingoutpod
• Podcast's Twitter: @reachingoutpod
• Michael's Instagram: @michaelwingsit

Photo Credit:
> Aimee, Maeve, Ola, Eric: https://sexeducation.fandom.com/wiki/Sex_Education_Wiki
> Adam: https://www.diezminutos.es/teleprograma/series-tv/a37802426/sex-education-temporada-4-reparto-adam/

I am so thrilled to have my friend and former coworker, Nicole Sgarlato (she/her), on the podcast today!

I met Nicole in 2019 when I first moved to San Francisco because she was a coworker of mine at Lyft. My first memory of her was watching her give a company-wide Pride presentation during my first week on the job during Pride Month.  The following Pride month is when I first got to interact with her and as I explain to her in the beginning of the episode, she was the key to me sharing my coming out story for the first time and, in turn, I give some credit for this very podcast.

Nicole tells us about her journey coming out as a trans woman -- a process that she didn't really start exploring as a possibility until her early thirties.  She tells us about the major life changes that she had to take on in order for her to get to a place where she allowed herself to explore that feeling of difference that she had felt for most of her life -- this includes both leaving the church and not going through with an engagement. Nicole reminds us that it's never too late to make a change in your life -- a sentiment that I personally love as somewhat of a late bloomer, myself.

We talk about so many interesting topics on this episode, including: exploring your true self-identity later in life, coming out in the workplace, the importance of safe spaces and the impact that they can have on those exploring their identity, navigating imposter syndrome, and even the whirlwind period that had Nicole modeling for ad campaigns in NYC and at the Pride Parade with Sasha Velour.  It's just too good!

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Episode Links:

• Nicole's Instagram: @nicolesgarlato 

Follow along with Reaching Out:

• Podcast's Instagram: @reachingoutpod
• Podcast's Twitter: @reachingoutpod
• Michael's Instagram: @michaelwingsit

I could not be more excited to have Adam James Cohen from Second Adolescence Podcast on Reaching Out today!

Adam is both a psychotherapist and the San Francisco-based podcast host of the incredible Second Adolescent Podcast -- a podcast on which I had the pleasure of being a guest a few weeks back!  I'm so thrilled to be able to return the favor and have Adam share his story with us on Reaching Out.

Adam touches on so many great, resonate-y coming out topics.  He talks about his survival tactics in the closet -- including how he basically taught himself to code-switch to sound more masculine as a young boy, he talks about the absolute euphoric feeling of having someone really see you for the very first time after you come out to them, and how to embrace the cringey but "messessary" (messy + necessary) moments that take place after you come out as you go through your Second Adolescence.

Adam takes us through the concept of Second Adolescence and how it originally came to him and eventually turned into his incredible podcast and more!

Also, if you've been following Reaching Out for a few episodes, you've probably heard guests and myself bring up how important and helpful therapy is in the coming out process and beyond.  Adam, being an actual trained professional, gives us great advice on how we can view the concept of therapy a little bit differently than just going and talking to a trained professional -- and in doing so, he makes "therapy" seem much more accessible for everyone, especially if seeing a trained professional is not possible for you for whatever reason.

Adam and his podcast are both such a fucking treasures -- I cannot wait for you to meet him through this episode and then hop on over to Second Adolescence Podcast to give that a listen.  Maybe even start with episode 10?  I don't know, just an idea. ;)

Enjoy!

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Episode Links:

• Adam's Instagram: @secondadolescencepod
• Second Adolescence Podcast
  • Spotify
  • Apple Podcasts
  • Website
• My episode on Adam's podcast
  • Spotify
  • Apple Podcasts

Follow along with Reaching Out:

• Podcast's Instagram: @reachingoutpod
• Podcast's Twitter: @reachingoutpod
• Michael's Instagram: @michaelwingsit

On this week’s episode we chat with Justin Landsman!

I’ve been looking forward to talking to him on the podcast for a while – not only because of his coming out story, but also because he’s a super talented film photographer!

We actually spend the first chunk of the show talking about photography where we discuss our creative processes, the differences between our shooting styles (he shoots film while I shoot digital), and battling imposter syndrome.  If you want to skip ahead to his coming out story, you can bop right over to about the 25:00 mark.

Once we finally do get to Justin’s coming out story, things get spicy.

Justin talks about feeling different his whole life – even to the point where his mom asked him at a young age if he wanted to be a girl.  His answer might surprise you.

We also talk about his fraternity experience in college, which he claims was low-key "pretty gay." I even say the phrases “pull chicks” and “chill-to-pull ratio" which makes me want to physically crawl out of my skin this very moment!!

Justin also tells us about a trip to Copenhagen that resulted in a 36 hour romance with a boy that not only led him to finally being able to picture himself living a gay life, but also brought him to come out to his family.  This leads to a very fun convo about what I refer to as “microships” – brief but powerful romances that can happen while you’re traveling.  I actually learned how to date and how to do… other things… through microchips, so I really loved this part.

Finally, we talk about how Justin initially struggled to find his place in the gay community when he first moved to San Francisco because it took him a while to find his “people”.

Justin is such a nice, talented guy.  I’m excited for you to meet him.

Enjoy!

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Episode Links:

• Justin's Instagram: @landsmanfilm
• Justin's photography website

Follow along with Reaching Out:

• Podcast's Instagram: @reachingoutpod
• Podcast's Twitter: @reachingoutpod
• Michael's Instagram: @michaelwingsit

What a special episode we have this week, featuring an old friend of mine from college, Emily Sklar (she/her)!

Okay, Emily and I go all the way back to freshman year of college when we met in the greek system at Michigan State.  I was her sorority’s bus boy all throughout college and we both think this is the first time we’ve caught up “in person” since.

In most of the stories we’ve had on the show thus far, our guests have shared their journey towards coming out or towards the realization of what their particular self-identity is.  Emily’s story is so beautiful and relatable because she is still in the process of figuring things out – which, how relatable is that in regards to the queer experience? We’ve all been there, just in our own ways.

Emily tells us how she currently identifies with being on the ace, or asexuality, spectrum and that she, as of right now, doesn’t have the desire to have sexual relationships or date anyone regardless of their gender. She also talks candidly and authentically about how the thought of committing to one identity today is intimidating because what if that changes or evolves over time? 

She shares experiences in the past, beginning as a freshman in college – in the very sorority in which I cleaned her dishes for years – where she realized that she was on a different path than other girls her age.

This story is perfect for anyone who is on that never-ending quest towards evolving into their most authentic self or has felt that perpetual feeling that they’re different but aren’t really sure where they fit in. 

It also serves as a great reminder that your current experience right now is a valid one, and just because you identify as one way now does not mean you can’t evolve in the future – besides, shouldn’t we all be actively trying to do that anyways?

 I’m so grateful to Emily for sharing her vulnerability and story with us.  

Take a listen.

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Episode Links:

• Emily's Instagram: @itsemilyonair
• Emily's Twitter: @itsemilyonair
• Emily's TikTok: @itsemilyonair
• "My Story of Pride" article that Emily mentioned in the interview

Follow along with Reaching Out:

• Podcast's Instagram: @reachingoutpod
• Podcast's Twitter: @reachingoutpod
• Michael's Instagram: @michaelwingsit

This week we have the absolute pleasure to hear from Michael Lee (he/him)!

Michael grew up in a military family, which meant that he was bopping around the literal globe every few years.  He describes what that meant for him in terms of his coming out journey -- including certain advantageous cultural norms that may have helped confirm he was not destined to be with a woman.

One of the most fascinating themes of Michael's story that popped up more than once was the innate need to observe how people in his life reacted towards people or characters that were perceived to be gay from a very young age.  This was done, as he describes, as a way to measure the safety of certain situations because he knew deep down that those reactions would eventually be directed at him.  This part of the discussion was so, so good and I think that it will resonate with lots of queer people -- regardless of where they reside under the LGBTQ+  umbrella.

Michael also touches on many other topics including how the movie RENT changed his perspective of what being gay and being queer could mean, how not resembling the masculine and superhero-like stereotype of what a black man "should" be impacted him, what his favorite dating app is, and much more.

He  wraps all of this up beautifully at the end by talking about how important showing up authentically at all times in his life is to him.  It was a wonderful reminder to live authentically and also a nice little motivational kick in the ass for myself to be honest.

I'm so excited to share his story with you!

Links:

• Michael's Instagram: @michaelmanxx

Follow along with Reaching Out!

• Podcast's Instagram: @reachingoutpod
• Podcast's Twitter: @reachingoutpod
• Michael's Instagram: @michaelwingsit
• Share your story!

On this week's episode we chat with David Lopez!

David shares what it was like for him growing up as LatinX in rural Texas as a devout member of the Catholic church – and we’re talking some significant involvement at a very young age.

He tells us about the internal conflict that was brewing inside of him as a high schooler where he basically felt like he had to choose between being true to himself or being a good Catholic because those two, as he was taught, could not coexist. Luckily, thanks to the example set by some extremely bad ass women in his family, he chose himself .  One of the more fascinating and heartbreaking parts of his story has to do with essentially what were ultimatums that David’s mom and then David himself were given by his church once he finally did come out.

I do want to give a trigger warning for folks that part of David’s ultimatum from the church included the option of going to church-funded conversion therapy, this part of the conversation happens roughly around the 46:00 minute mark.

David also has a book blog which you can find on Instagram where he reviews more books than I’ve read in my entire life. Bonus -- he gives us his reccos for some of his favorite queer lit.

I'm so honored to share David's story with you -- it's a powerful one. 

Enjoy!

Links:

• David's Instagram: @hisreadingnook

Follow along with Reaching Out!

• Podcast's Instagram: @reachingoutpod
• Podcast's Twitter: @reachingoutpod
• Michael's Instagram: @michaelwingsit
• Share your story!

We've got such a special episode for you this week as it features our first returning guest, Blake Mitchell!
 
In Episode 2, we were told all about what were essentially Blake's two coming outs: first coming out as gay as a teenager, and then coming out as a drag queen years later as an adult -- both to mixed reviews.  Blake also touched on the concept of non-static identity and how we as queer people get to continuously grow into the most authentic versions of ourselves.

Well, since our last conversation, Blake has been doing exactly that (and for much earlier than our conversation, certainly) and has recently come out as non-binary.

In this episode, Blake tells us about the experiences throughout their life that, when looking back, make so much more sense now that they have this clarity on their gender identity.  They talk about all of those moments leading up to this point that they attributed to being gay and how, when looking back now, were clearly more of an expression of gender than anything else.  They also talk about their recent third coming out to family and what that was like for them.

Per usual, Blake has such amazing advice and hits on topics like how to be a good ally to gender non-conforming people, why they choose to put in the effort to help guide and educate loved ones through their coming out (despite how emotionally taxing it can be), and why ever-evolving identity is so important.

I am so grateful to Blake for sharing their personal story with us and I can't wait for you to hear it, too.

Enjoy!

Links:

• Blake's Instagram: @blakelmitchell
  • "Putting My Southern Dad Into Drag" -- Must Watch!
  • Reaching Out Episode 2: Finding Freedom Through Self-Expression
  • Camp Brave Trails Instagram: @bravetrails
• Gender Non-Conforming Creators
  • Jeffrey Marsh
  • Alok
  • Ty Deran
• Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness
  • "Can We Say Bye-Bye To The Binary?" Trailer

Follow along with Reaching Out!

• Podcast's Instagram: @reachingoutpod
• Podcast's Twitter: @reachingoutpod
• Michael's Instagram: @michaelwingsit
• Share your story!