Read it and Weep

Over Alex’s objections, there’s nothing better to encapsulate #WetMonth than the wonderful world of mermaids. They’re like people with fish bottoms for some reason!

The low budget TV show from the Australian equivalent of The CW is about three friends who because of reasons become mermaids when they get wet. They get in all kinds of teenage hi-jinks while trying to hide their fish-bottoms. It’s fun in a slightly cringey way!

Four boys were swim team mates in grade school and may or may not have had crushes on each other. Now they’re older and they miss swimming so it’s time to get the band back together. And now they definitely have crushes on each other.

Free! is the ungoogleable anime that is entirely dedicated to animated water bubbles and muscular, underage boys. The boys create a swim team, almost don’t, then definitely do. And it’s not super important but what is important is water and delts.

Happy Wet Month, everybody! Let’s celebrate by watching the driest movie of all time, the 1984 clusterfuck Dune.

It’s a well regarded book but people agree, David Lynch didn’t really do a good job with his movie adaptation. It looks cool, but is super confusing. Still, we found enough to splash around in.

Thanks to Matthew for sponsoring!

Oh my god, you guys. This is our 300th episode. That’s so many!

To celebrate we reviewed our first 299 episodes, specifically the top 10 episodes as voted by our fans, making up our newly announced Starter Pack! And then we played a gigantic game of Top 5 (more like Bottom All). Thank you so much for asking us questions in our AMA-style game, it was super fun to talk about ourselves.

Thank you to all of you for helping to keep this insane train on the tracks and allowing us to do it every week. We love you.

Chris and Tanya got married, you guys! It’s so exciting. So we’re celebrating the way we do with every major life moment, by watching a terrible movie that trivializes it!

So for our 3rd wedding special we put it to a vote of Meat Buddies and you chose the 2008 movie Made of Honor starring Patrick Dempsey and Michelle Monaghan as best friends who aren’t in love and then after an awkward wedding gets ruined, they’re in love!

Congrats to our newest celebrity couple Chrinya!

We’ve heard rumblings for a couple years about how the sequel to the adorable kids movie Babe was actually an amazing, dark movie. And what we heard was right. It’s… it’s bananas.

Comic Book author Matt Fraction joins us to discuss the ins and outs of this kids movie that’s not really for kids and all its deep implications.

What was the first movie you ever walked out on? For Chris it was Daredevil, the crappy 2003 movie starring a then not-yet-married Ben Afleck and Jennifer Garner.

We were watching it for that reason, for our First Hates series, but it just so happens Bennifer is in the news this week for breaking up (not our fault!). Just like Chris before her, Jennifer finally realized Ben Afleck isn’t good enough for her.

A while back we were trying to refresh our sequel joke. Instead of always saying “Electric Boogaloo” or “Back in the Habit” or “The Squeakquel” we went deep. We found an obscure campy 80s direct-to-video horror comedy sequel and the rest is history. And history belongs to Bud. Bud the CHUD.

The “evil ideas that don’t work” division of the US army has created a super-strong cannibalistic undead killing machine. And some high schoolers accidentally set it loose on mankind. And… the CHUDs win. That’s the movie. It’s silly. And it’s also our favorite.

Hidden in the depths of FBI headquarters in Quantico, VA is a highly specialized team of agents. Instead of focusing on crimes, they focus on getting into the minds of criminals who they refer to as “unsubs” because they want to have a “thing.”

Or, counter theory, they’re not really FBI agents and Criminal Minds is a show about a team of conmen who vigilante around the country in their private jet.

Either way, the team all gets in scrapes and has nerdy fun solving unnecessarily gross crimes. It’s procedural. It’s fine. I guess it’s fine. It’s fine, right?

Anne Rice wrote some naughty books about sexy vampires. Turns out, she also wrote some absolutely disgusting books about fairly tale sex slaves.

Which brings me to this: **TRIGGER WARNING** (for pretty much everything).

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty starts with the tale of beauty, asleep from poison awaiting her prince, to enter her before waking her up and then do a series of increasingly humiliating and terrible things to her. In it there’s plenty to discuss about erotica, fantasy, gender roles, and much more. But it’s kinda hard because of how thoroughly unpleasant it was to read. So thanks for sponsoring, Chris?