Real Feels - Modern Masculinity with Brad Gage

Pickup Artists might seem old, corny, and pretty ridiculous to most people, but since their mid-2000's rise in popularity, the philosophy of THE GAME has influenced a generation of young men to manipulate their way to sex. With pickup gurus like Ross Jeffries, Neil Strauss, and Mystery teaching men for decades how to cut the female experience out of dating, they've made a lasting influence on the minds of modern single guys. Brad breaks down the "rules", the mindset, and the emotional disconnection in hopes to find a better way to find love.

Writing / Hosting / Graphics / Editing by Brad Gage

Produced by Brad Gage and Allison Mandell

Special thanks to: Dana Swanson Caron Clancey Matt Fried Jesse McKiel Ben Gonzales Ryan Thomas Andrew Delman Max Johanson

Amanda Crew (HBO's Silicon Valley) and Brad have been friends a long time, but recently bonded over each of them finding movements they are truly passionate about. For Brad, it's reframing toxic masculinity, and for her, it's re-educating people around eating disorders. She's been vocal about it in her work with Project Heal, but in this conversation, we get to the genesis of her journey through anorexia.

Amanda also gets frank about her own experiences with sexual trauma, providing advice about how romantic partners of victims can maneuver sex in a way that honors body autonomy and past events.

Thanks for listening and if you want to find out more about Project Heal, which is an organization working to break down systemic, healthcare, and financial barriers to eating disorder treatment - go to theProjectHeal.org. Also - if you or someone you love is a victim of sexual violence seeking resources or support, you can find that and more at RAINN.org where they are in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.

Hosted, Produced, and Edited by Brad Gage

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Today’s episode is mostly a story - one both personal to me and educational. It’s with Kaitlyn Hollysmith, a lawyer, a mother, a wife, and a friend...who back in my college fraternity days - was my little brother. Kaitlyn is trans. Here on the show, we reconnect after 10 years of that normal drift apart that happens after you leave college, but she saw what I was doing with Real Feels, and reached out. 

Her story about finding who she really was, how she got close to committing suicide, and triumphing into a married life with a young son - I can’t think of a more heroic journey. So, here is Kaitlyn Hollysmith spending some time to tell her story with me, right now.

Thanks for listening and if you or someone you love is looking for a place with resources and crisis help for LGBTQ+ youth, check out thetrevorproject.org

Hosted, Produced, and Edited by Brad Gage

Joe Rogan has one major blindspot - his own toxic masculinity. While his open-mindedness on politics, relationships, drugs, hunting, and other social subjects is part of why he's amassed millions of subscribers (and a new $100 million Spotify contract), Rogan rejects the idea that men are conditioned in a way that is harmful to women and themselves. Brad Gage looks at the Joe Rogan Experience podcast as a whole, showing why Rogan would be even more successful if he embraced his emotional, empathetic, and cooperative side.

Hosted and Produced by Brad Gage

Written by Brad Gage and Allison Mandell

Like the women in her documentaries, director Sarah Moshman is on a mission. Her work is centered firmly around female empowerment - not just because she recognizes the injustices around her, but also to give her daughter a future with equity, integrity, and real possibility. Sarah's ability to turn her message into her career makes her one of my personal role models, and her passion for communicating the female experience is infectious - as you'll hear in our chat. Sarah and I talk about the tough gender subjects - sexual assault, conditioning, and how to talk with our future children about sex.

Anyone can host a screening of Sarah's film at www.neverthelessfilm.com

Hosted and Produced by Brad Gage

My friend Miguel Ferrer works internationally as a writer and director for feature films, music videos, and commercials. An exciting life as a storyteller, he could only have realized because his parents emigrated him from Venezuela to Miami when he was a young boy. His heritage is his pride, though Miguel is not afraid to critique the types of toxic male traits that permeate Latino culture. We break down ways to curb macho bullying, how being handsome doesn't have as much of an effect on women as you think, and a bunch more in today's episode.

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What does it mean to be a man? In his own particular way, Mister Rogers represented traits that traditionally masculine men pride themselves in - power, strength, confidence, and success. And his tactics are just what the modern man needs to maneuver personal relationships in the 21st century.

Special thanks to everyone who had a part in the making of "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood", "Won't You Be My Neighbor", and "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood"

Caron Clancey is a writer, director, and eco-conscious hero. And I say "hero" because she wields her power in the way that every one of us can - with our wallets. She makes choices every day, no matter how small, to lower her carbon footprint and help heal the environment. And I think it's about time that we recognize how exciting it is to make big changes every day. Caron and I talk here about her love for dirt, the helpful earth-nerd tricks she shares online, and how disconnected masculinity bleeds into every area of environmental politics. Above all, this episode will inspire you to make even the smallest baby steps toward your health and the world's. Because we do what we can with the choices we are brought. And I'm so glad to bring you Caron Clancey in this moment….right now….

Caron's favorite video about composting - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWKxFWstoCA

Evan Watkins is an actor, guitarist, and guy who has made enough mistakes in his romantic life to know how important listening is. And it shows. What is lovely about this episode is that Evan was down to attack some big questions about masculinity with humility, and an awareness that while there are a lot of external pressures to be a certain type of guy, real manliness comes from having empathy for women and not pushing your own expectations on a situation. Listening, learning and striving to be better is what evolving is all about. I'm so glad Evan took some time to be here with me right now...

Lisa Schwartz is an actress, producer, and personality who built a career on being herself for an audience of 2 million subscribers on YouTube. And being herself is about asking people to be empowered by the imperfect, and leaning into the quirks of being your age - which she did with her 2019 memoir "Thirty Life Crisis". After going through a very public breakup a few years ago, she has finally found herself in a relationship that gives her peace, balance, and someone to lay on the bathroom floor with her when she's hungover. I'm so lucky to have Lisa on the show today, where she taught me that there's always hard stuff, you're always evolving and that's the beauty of life.