Real Life Resilience

“I am the courageous heart that passionately beats to empower the hurt, broken, and lost. I believe that people are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole,” says life coach Matt Gagnon. “And it’s never too late to write your own comeback story.”

Time for Your Own Comeback Story

Highlights from the interview:

* The day he officially became a life coach – September 29th 2014 – was the greatest day of validation for him, because it felt like he was completely on the right track.

* He helps people through transition periods in their lives by helping them to articulate the story that’s in their head. It helps people because they’ve often never said these things out loud before for fear of being judged.

* If people aren’t owning things that happened, if they’re not being completely honest, he’ll call them out. He’ll do that until they see vulnerability not as a weakness, but as a strength.

* Journaling is important. Because you might say something for the first time, admit something for the first time, and then feel that high, that rush, and be proud of yourself. But then, when you go home, when you’re alone, you might feel shame, and you can’t believe you just said those things. That’s when its important to journal, to write it all down, because you’ll start to realize that this voice – the voice of the saboteur – is wrong.

* Saying you want to focus on your career goals is a safe way to get into coaching – a more accepted way, probably – but it always leads to stuff about a person’s life.

* Coaching is like taking your mind to the gym.

* His life and core purpose: “I am the courageous heart that passionately beats to empower the hurt, broken, and lost.”

* Another core belief is that each client is naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.

* Something to sit with and think about: it’s never too late – to follow your own passion, to live your dream, to write your own comeback story.

Listen to the episode for the full story.

 

 

 

 

Stacy’s Journal

Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. I really enjoyed this interview with Matt because I gained huge insights into what a life coach can ultimately do. They help you move your own road blocks out of the way! How valuable is that? Since we are all naturally creative, resourceful and whole, a life coach brings out the best in us at a critical time. A time when we can’t see or bring out the best in ourselves. They help us take our past and our present, and create a much better future. It’s a gift.

 

I especially enjoyed the philosophy that it’s never too late to follow your own passion, to live your dream, and to write your own comeback story. Stop and think for a moment. If you were to write your comeback story, starting from where you are right now, what would that look like? It might be worth spending 20 or 30 minutes writing that out. Go ahead, put your dreams and desires, your passions, down on paper, and write your own comeback story. I’d love to hear what those are. Head over to our FB page and share those in the comments section for this episode.

 

That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Kathy Gruver discussed conquering stress through writing – so if you’re going through some stress right now, or have recently been stressed, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Evan Hanson who wrote Two Journeys to Manhood.

 

I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on

Why worry twice? We can’t necessarily stop things, but we can stop freaking out about them. Dr. Kathy Gruver explains that the future always starts now. With every exhale we can make a more resilient choice.

 

Resilient Rather than Freaking Out

Highlights from the interview:

* Affirmations help to reduce stress – particularly if you handwrite them, because they’ll more easily go into your subconscious.

* People who wrote down affirmations about who they are, or positive events, found they went into future situations looking at the positive side of things, and not thinking about what could go wrong, and even having different reactions to things.

* It’s much better to say “I am healthy and well right now” than it is to say “I hope I don’t get sick.”

* Our body is incredibly suggestible to what other people say to us and to what we’re thinking about.

* Stress is hazardous – about 70 to 90% of doctor’s visits are due to stress-related illnesses.

* Why suffer twice? If you’re going to get news from the doctor about whether or not you have cancer in a week’s time, why worry about it now? If you have cancer, won’t that be bad enough anyway? Need you have worried about it all week and then felt even worse when you received the actual news? It’s better to think positively because you’ll be in a better state to handle any bad news when it does finally arrive.

* The more present we can be, the more positive we can be.

* “The future always starts now.” With every exhale we can make a different and more resilient choice.

* We can’t necessarily stop things, but we can stop freaking out about them.

Listen to the episode for the full story.

 

 

 

 

 

Stacy’s Journal

Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. Let’s talk about affirmations. I’ve got to be honest, because that’s what a journal is about, right? Your honest feelings? In the past, I’ve not really been a fan of affirmations. Reminded me too much of the Saturday Night Live skit with Stuart Smalley. However, I’ve since done more digging into the mind/body connection. Self-affirmations really do help and there’s scientific evidence for that with one caveat. You have to really believe what you’re saying. If you don’t believe it, you could end up feeling even worse! To tweak affirmations and make them effective for you, scientists say that you should write about the things you value, such as your honesty, family, creativity, etc…Affirming those things you value, and remembering those times when you exhibited those values does activate the reward system in your brain and gives you those positive vibes. Here’s a great article about affirmations. With that, I think I’ll get to writing a few new affirmations of my own!

 

That’s all we have for today. That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Manny Wolfe discussed surviving a hellacious early life – so if you’ve had a tough childhood, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Matt Gagnon who tells us to write our own comeback story.

 

I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube,

Manny Wolfe believes that changing yourself will probably be the hardest thing you ever do…especially if you grew up in a cult in one of the most violent cities in America like he did. If you want to change, you have to take to it like a drowning man taking to a life preserver.

Cult + Violence = Tough Childhood

Highlights from the interview:

* Just because you’re born into something – in this case, a cult – doesn’t mean you can’t get out of it. And it doesn’t have to take you looking at an untraceable gun – in your own hand – to have the moment of clarity you need to do it.

* It also doesn’t mean you can’t someday be an example – a good example. To your son, daughter, and whoever else.

* And being an example, striving to be an example – that will fill you with purpose and joy.

* Writing can be the single biggest healing thing you ever engage in. You might need to do some other stuff to get you to the point of writing it all down, but once you get there, you will heal even more.

* If you do change, remember that your family – the people closest to you – will likely adjust the slowest, because they’re used to who you used to be.

* Any relationship that’s toxic will take more out of you than you’re aware of.

* Be warned: once you find your voice, you might not be able to stay away from the keyboard.

Listen to the episode for the full story.

 

 

 

Stacy’s Journal

Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. Today, let’s talk about your origin story. As Manny shows, just because you’re born into a bad situation doesn’t mean you have to drag that baggage with you the rest of your life. Changing yourself like Manny did is probably the hardest thing you’ll ever do. In order to change, you have to get clear on where you are and where you’ve been. In other words, your origin story. How do you discover your origin story? You start with your life theme.

 

Think back to the milestones in your life and the desires you’ve had in your life. Where do those intersect with some conflicts you’ve had in your life? It might be beneficial to get those down in black and white – either computer or paper. Maybe spend some time reflecting back on your life. What…or who…has defined your life? How have you made decisions in your life? What…or who…influenced those decisions? Start writing that down. Those are the seeds of your origin story that you’ll use to change your future.

 

That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Kamala Chambers discussed writing about love found and lost – so if you’ve ever had to move on in any relationship, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Kathy Gruver who helps us conquer stress through writing.

 

I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.

 

100+ Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years

This week’s memoir is: Walden by Henry David Thoreau written in 1854

Click on the graphic to learn about this memoir and all of the most important memoirs of the past 200 years..

 

 

 

 

About: Manny Wolfe

Writing love letters to her seven failed relationships was cathartic and a learning experience for author Kamala Chambers. She made each letter, and it’s subsequent learned wisdom, into a chapter in her book Road to Love.  Listen to discover how writing made her a better person.

Writing Yourself Into a Better Person

According to Kamala, writing has helped her become a better person. She reflects on where she’s at, and can dissect some things that are tumbling around in her head. And she can get clear on what’s really going on.

* Usually, we’re not upset about things for the reasons we think we are, and writing unpacks all of that.

* When you’re vulnerable, when you put yourself out there, there’s a kind of softening towards you. People understand you more, and are more open with you.

* Keeping a journal can be someone’s saving grace because it helps us to understand the dialogue within. And you can look back on your past journaling, and really tap into what you were feeling at the time. It’s like having access to a past you.

Why Love Letter Writing?

* Love letters are probably the most intimate form of writing there is. You can write about everything from when you first fell in love to where one of you broke the other’s heart. When we fall in love and when we’re in love and when we fall out of love, these are the times in our lives where we grow and develop and learn so much. Writing a love letter to someone you used to be in a relationship with can be amazingly cathartic – because you get to say all of the things you wished you’d said, all the things you wished you’d known. And most of the time, you won’t even feel like you need to send it.

And much more…

 

Stacy’s Journal

Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. Let’s talk about journals here. Kamala mentioned that keeping a journal can be someone’s saving grace because it helps us understand the dialogue within. I never understood that until I started writing myself. It really is miraculous! I encourage everyone to start journaling. When I first started, I had a few doubts. I started during an extremely troubling time in my life. I thought, gee, I’m just going to write negative things. I don’t want that to be a reflection of who I am. In fact, I started and stopped several times. But…once I realized that just because I write about all the terrible things that happen in my life, doesn’t mean I’m a terrible person, or that I have a bad personality. It actually helped me clear my head of those negative thoughts. It freed me to see the situation that I was in for what it was. Something that I could handle. When you’re stressed, angry, frustrated, sad, or really any emotion, writing down your feelings and writing down the situation will bring you clarity. It puts the situation in the proper place in your mind.  So, yes, I really advocate for journaling. I’ve put a couple of journals that I recommend in the shownotes.

That’s all we have for today. Next week, we’ll interview Manny Wolfe who, as a child, survived one of the 10 most violent cities in America. So if you’ve had some tough life circumstances yourself, or are going through a tough situation right now, you might want to stay tuned for that. I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation.

100 Most Important Memoirs

of the Past 200 Years

This week’s memoir is: The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

Click on the graphic to learn about this memoir and all of the most important memoirs of the past 200 years…

 

Our lives are filled with change – it’s inevitable. So we, as human beings, might as well learn to be resilient. Strengthening our resilience will make us happier and healthier. We all want to bounce back from difficult experiences, don’t we?The Real Life Resilience podcast mission is to tell stories of recovery from life's most difficult trauma and provide tools for resiliency.

Make changes to your body and mind to gain the confidence to pursue your passion and live your dreams.  Debi Silber, The Mojo Coach, has led thousands of clients to “get their mojo back” and transform into their personal and professional best. Her real-life examples will spark your own ideas.

 

Lifestory Toolkit: Qwerky Writer 

(Brought to you by Lifestorytelling.com – Discover YOUR life stories!)

This episode’s Lifestory Toolkit features Qwerky Writer, a unique typewriter inspired mechanical keyboard (with the tactile clicky sound) compatible with your computer or tablet. It connects wirelessly via Bluetooth and features industrial strength mechanical switches that provide a unique clicky tactile feel. The Return Bar functions as an ENTER key by default and programmable, remembering up to 5 characters. It features typewriter inspired keycaps plus a built-in stand that can accommodate tablets up to 10 inches wide and 1/2 inch thick. You can order now for $349 at qwerkywriter.com

 

Free Download: Does Your Scrapbook Have a Story Arc?

Does Your Scrapbook Have a Story Arc?

About: Debi Silber, The Mojo Coach

Debi Silber MS, RD, WHC, FDN The Mojo Coach®, CEO of Lifestyle Fitness, Inc. and founder of www.TheMojoCoach.com and www.DebiSilber.com is a recognized health, weight loss, fitness, wellness, lifestyle and personal development expert. She’s a speaker, consultant and author of 2 books recommended by Brian Tracy, Marshall Goldsmith, Jack Canfield and many more. Debi’s branded The Mojo Coach® because she’s led countless others to achieve their ultimate body, mind, image and lifestyle; inspiring them to “get their mojo back” and transform into their personal and professional best. In addition to being a highly credentialed and awarded health expert, Debi has her own line of deliciously healthy Mojo Fuel Bars™ and shakes, has also contributed to FOX, CBS, TEDx, The Dr. Oz show, The Huffington Post, Shape, Self, Health, Working Mother, Forbes, Psychology Today, WebMD, Yahoo Shine, Ladies Home Journal, MSN, Woman’s World and Glamour to name a few.

The Mojo Coach® is THE secret behind some of the healthiest, most influential, charismatic and successful professionals today.

 

 

Links:

Website:  Debi Silber 

Facebook Page: Debi Silber 

YouTube: Stop Sabotaging Yourself  Tedx

What is your life theme? If you wrote a memoir, what would it be titled? Why should anyone write about their life? I posed these questions to participants at the Stories From The Heart Story Circle Conference. Their heartfelt answers provide a voyeur’s view into these women’s lives.

 

Stories Shared at Story Circle Conference

What drives a woman to share her life stories? What is the meaning of doing so? Turns out…a lot. I attended the Story Circle Conference in Austin, Texas, last month and met some pretty amazing writers. Many who never imagined themselves as writers in the past. These ladies are using writing to reinvent themselves – or reinventing themselves and then writing about it.

I posed several questions and asked them to answer in 30 seconds to one minute. Their fascinating answers will inspire you.

Thanks to the Story Circle Network for allowing me to record these wise words. If you don’t consider yourself a writer, but you have a story to tell, Story Circle Network is a great place to dip your toe into the writing waters. It’s a group of supportive women in all stages of writing talent.

Actionable Items:

* Start this week by answering these questions:

* What is your life theme?

* If you wrote a memoir, what would it be titled?

* Why should anyone write about their life?

* What have you learned from writing about your life (if you’ve done it)?

* Check out the Story Circle Network and consider joining

 

Lifestory Toolkit: Story Circle Network

(Brought to you by Lifestorytelling.com – Discover YOUR life stories!)

This episode’s Lifestory Toolkit features, of course, The Story Circle Network!  is dedicated to helping women share the stories of their lives through memoir, poetry, fiction, nonfiction, and drama, and to raising public awareness of the importance of women’s personal histories. We carry out our mission through publications, a website, classes, workshops, writing and reading circles, and woman-focused programs. Our activities empower women to tell their stories, discover their identities through their stories, and choose to be the authors of their own lives.

 

Free Download: 5 Myths About Life Story Writing

5 Myths About Life Story Writing

 

About: Story Circle Network

The Story Circle Network was founded in early 1997 by Dr. Susan Wittig Albert and received its 501(c)(3) status shortly afterward. It  is guided by a board of directors and incorporated as a Texas not-for-profit corporation. Activities are funded by the annual dues of the members, through educational activities, and by the generous gifts and grants of supporters (such as the $100,000 grant that supported the Older Women’s Legacy Circle Project).

Only by taking better care of yourself can you improve your overall wellbeing. It’s important that you take action for nothing will change until you do. Kevin Bergen walks us through the Bergen protocol to help us understand how to get unstuck in life through expansion writing.

 

 

The Bergen Protocol and the Upward Spiral

The aim of the Bergen protocol is to improve your well-being by encouraging you to get actively involved in your actions and thoughts. The principle of self-care is advocated and a few actions are recommended. These actions when taken daily will improve your sense of wellbeing. The action you choose can be journaling and creative writing and points are allocated to help you get motivated to achieve your life goals. The motivation received from the daily actions creates an upward spiral that helps improve the different aspects of your life. The actions points you choose can be a combination of easy and difficult actions in order to get you challenged and also motivated.

Writing has been used successfully to help people get through traumatic experiences. In expansion writing, you engage in therapeutic writing for four to ten minutes a day, for seven days. It’s recommended that the same sentence stem is used for the first few days as it prompts the mind on what you wish to write about. By using the same sentence stem, you unlock your subconscious and you are able to delve in the deeper issues that may be hurting you.

After writing, take time to evaluate what you have written down. You examine your thoughts and feelings on the subject matter. In addition, you will need to look back on the amount of time you spent in the previous day thinking of what you had written on that day. This will make you more aware of your thoughts and feelings on the subject. The last question for you is on how likely you are to write again. These questions increase your level of self-awareness.

 

Take Home Message:

* Practice self-care everyday by participating in actions that give you a sense of being better.

* Adopt expansion writing and allow yourself to grow more aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions.

* Check out Kevin’s book: The Bergen Protocol

* Be sure to get the special Writers Edition of Kevin’s 7-Day Therapeutic Writing Challenge created just for Write of Your Life listeners

 

Lifestory Toolkit: ZenWriter 

(Brought to you by Lifestorytelling.com – Discover YOUR life stories!)

This episode’s Lifestory Toolkit features ZenWriter, a text editor for Windows that cuts out all the distraction and lets you focus on letting your thoughts flow. It’s a full screen, zen-like program that offers few formatting options but a whole lot of tranquility. If you find yourself, skipping between tabs in your browser checking up on e-mail and Facebook when you’re meant to be writing, ZenWriter is the solution to your distracted mind. Trial and full version is available at beenokle.com.

 

Free Download:  

Kevin Bergen’s 7-DAY THERAPEUTIC WRITING CHALLENGE—SPECIAL WRITER’S EDITION

 

About: Kevin Bergen

When a friend and success coach introduced

http://essay-website.com/

“We keep going through the things that hurt us because we fail to let go of the old and make room for new things in our lives.” Michael Neeley, the author of The Art of Forgetting, emphasizes that some of the negative patterns in our lives are from actions that we take subconsciously, without much thought going into the process.

 

Let Go…or Be Dragged: Writing to Heal From Trauma

From his pharmaceutical background, Michael Neeley came across the concept of a blind study and this helped him understand how a person’s beliefs and expectations can influence the actions of others. Constantly repeating a concept to yourself can make it your reality and it’s therefore important to let go of the wrong preconceptions thus giving yourself and others a chance to have a new start.

We tend to create negative patterns in our lives because we wish to prove to ourselves that we were right and the outcome can be different. By accepting that we are the common denominator in our experiences, we are able to actively participate in changing the course of our lives.

The suntan effect is seen in our lives when we get new information on how to improve our lives and for a few days or weeks it excites us but soon it no longer holds a significant meaning to us. Only by ensuring we let go of our past totally can we then be able to use the new information to help ourselves recover from the trauma in our lives.

Let go of the preconceptions you have about others and about yourself so that you can get a new start.

Disengage from operating on autopilot and take control of your life by paying attention to all the actions you take (mindfulness).

By clearing out the old beliefs and influences in your life, you will make room for new and positive information that will help transform your life.

 

Lifestory Toolkit: Visual Thesaurus

(Brought to you by Lifestorytelling.com – Discover YOUR life stories!)

This episode’s Lifestory Toolkit features the Visual Thesaurus. It is an interactive dictionary and thesaurus which creates word maps that blossom with meanings and branch to related words. Its innovative display encourages exploration and learning. You’ll understand language in a powerful new way. You can find and subscribe to it at  www.visualthesaurus.com.

 

 

Free Download: 21 Ways to Capture Family History

Click Here for Free Download – 21 Ways to Capture Family History

 

About: Michael Neeley

Michael Neeley is a former professional actor and medieval knight turned writer, motivational speaker, personal development coach, and the creator of the transformational program The Art of Forgetting as well as the podcast, Consciously Speaking.

He has appeared in feature films with Mel Gibson and Kevin Costner, worked on the stage with Andre Braugher and Kathleen Chalfant,