Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant discusses the often taboo topic of erectile dysfunction, sexual performance anxiety, and the fear of being broken with guest Shay Doran. Shay, a coach who helps men overcome these issues, shares his personal journey and insights on why ED is rarely just about the body but more about mindset. They discuss the societal pressures and beliefs that contribute to performance anxiety, the impact on relationships, and the importance of seeking help.

Shay also explores the harmful cycle of quick fixes and the cultural differences in perceptions of masculinity and sexual performance. The episode emphasizes that these challenges are normal and that men aren't alone in their struggles.

00:00 The Influence of Porn on Sex Education
00:36 Introduction to Real Men Feel and Today's Topic
00:52 Meet Shay Doran: Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety
01:43 Shay's Personal Journey with Performance Anxiety
04:24 The Root Causes of Performance Anxiety
06:31 The Performative Mindset and Its Impact
07:17 Distinguishing Between Medical and Mindset Issues
10:06 The Trap of Quick Fixes and Marketing Scams
13:10 The Importance of Seeking Help and Guidance
17:37 The Relational Impact of Erectile Dysfunction
20:31 Addressing the Elephant in the Room
21:11 Non-Judgmental Support and Communication
22:10 Working with Men on Performance Issues
23:19 Unique Challenges for Gay and Bi Men
25:43 Decoupling Masculine Identity from Sexual Performance
28:26 Common Aha Moments in Therapy
30:30 Cultural Differences in Masculinity and Performance Anxiety
32:01 Normalizing Sexual Performance Fluctuations
34:10 Impact of Porn on Sexual Performance
34:56 Connecting with Shay Doran
36:14 Beyond Sexual Performance: Living Authentically
38:28 Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Shay
Shay Doran — https://shay-doran.com
YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@shay-doran

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 386

Navigating Grief with Gratitude: A Conversation with Steve Gamlin

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant welcomes Steve Gamlin, known as the Motivational Firewood Guy. Steve shares his journey of grief and gratitude after losing his wife, Tina, in December 2024. The conversation delves deep into the process of living and creating with a broken heart, the power of visualization, and the impact of everyday kindness.

Steve also discusses the importance of authentic expression and being honest about where you are in life. This heartfelt discussion is both uplifting and profoundly human, providing insights into how to find strength and purpose amid profound loss.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Tragedy
00:41 Meet Steve Gamlin: The Motivational Firewood Guy
01:46 The Origin of Motivational Firewood
03:50 Understanding Visualization and Vision Boards
08:15 The Power of Everyday Kindness
14:02 Navigating Grief and Sharing the Journey
19:09 Personal Journey Through Grief
20:49 Rebuilding and Moving Forward
21:26 The Importance of Lived Experience
23:26 Honoring Tina Through Vision Boards
27:03 Daily Habits and Positivity
33:29 Future Relationships and Self-Discovery
35:32 Final Thoughts and Connection

Connect with Steve
Steve Gamlin — http://SteveGamlinSpeaker.com
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/SteveGamlin
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevegamlin/

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 385

Breaking Down Barriers with the LezBro

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with Aastha Lal, a lesbian coach who is transforming men's relationships by providing a safe, non-competitive, and non-judgmental space for growth. Aastha shares her journey in creating the LezBro, a coaching practice where men can explore vulnerability, emotional honesty, and mindfulness.

They discuss common challenges men face, such as reactivity and the need for connection, and highlight practical solutions through mindfulness and meditation. Aastha's unique approach bridges the divide in how men approach emotional openness and mental well-being, creating a ripple effect that benefits their relationships and communities.

Join Andy and Aastha as they dive deep into the importance of emotional safety and the unexpected benefits of having a lesbian coach for straight men.

00:00 Introduction: The Starvation for Connection
00:29 Meet the Guest: Aastha Lahl, The LezBro Coach
01:17 The Birth of LezBro: A Safe Space for Men
03:00 Common Reactions and Client Experiences
04:46 The Importance of Vulnerability and Mindfulness
09:43 Challenges Men Face: Emotions and Reactivity
12:38 Mindfulness in Practice: Real-Life Applications
17:12 Connection in Relationships: Single vs. Married Men
19:18 Outdated Masculinity and Emotional Expression
27:35 Practical Steps for Men: Starting the Journey
31:29 Conclusion: Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Aastha
TheLezBro — https://www.thelezbro.com/
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/the.lezbro/

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 384

In this unique clip show, host Andy Grant of Real Men Feel compiles powerful, honest answers from 17 previous guests to one pivotal question: 'What do you wish more men knew?' These responses shed light on the significant themes of love, vulnerability, self-worth, and emotional resilience.

From emphasizing the importance of self-love and accountability to advocating for better sexual health and emotional expression, these insights reveal a common thread—strength and vulnerability are not opposites, but essential mates.

This episode encourages men to be true to themselves and engage deeply with others.

00:00 Introduction to Real Men Feel
00:37 The Power of Vulnerability
03:34 Embracing Emotional Resilience
07:35 Redefining Masculinity
14:18 The Importance of Sexual Health
17:20 Conclusion and Community Invitation

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 383

From Silence to Strength: A Veteran's Journey

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant interviews Louis Stockley Jr., an army veteran, father, coach, and founder of Before 22. Louis shares his story of serving 17 years in military and federal service, facing emotional shutdowns, and nearly losing his family to his video game addiction. He discusses the pressures of masculinity, how the military shaped him, and the harrowing experiences of transitioning to civilian life.

Louis also talks about his turning point and the creation of Before 22, a movement to help veterans find purpose, brotherhood, and support before falling into severe mental health crises.

Join Andy and Louis as they explore the importance of vulnerability, brotherhood, and service in reclaiming one's life and voice.

00:00 Military Programming and Emotional Suppression
00:40 Introduction to Real Men Feel and Guest Louis Stockley Jr.
01:27 Louis Stockley's Military Background and Early Challenges
03:13 Lessons in Masculinity and Military Discipline
07:55 A Painful Lesson in Commitment
10:17 Transitioning to Civilian Life
18:28 Struggles with Trust and Isolation
21:32 The Turning Point: Overcoming Video Game Addiction
28:01 Discovering the Power of Fitness
29:00 Helping a Friend in Need
32:56 The Impact of Brotherhood
35:32 Facing Personal Challenges
38:10 Understanding Veterans' Struggles
41:18 The Mission of Before 22
47:33 Encouraging Vulnerability and Seeking Help
52:33 Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Louis
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/lstockley/
Louis on TikTok — https://www.tiktok.com/@vetcoachlouis
Before 22 — https://www.tiktok.com/@before22aday
Louis on IG — https://www.instagram.com/vetcoachlouis
Before 22 — https://www.instagram.com/before22aday/

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 382

Breaking the Chains: Reframing Trauma

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with Eugene Z. Bertrand, a master of social work candidate at Columbia University, advocate for trauma-informed mental healthcare, and first-time author. Eugene discusses his journey of turning pain into purpose by reframing trauma as resilience and the significance of vulnerability for healing.

Topics include dismantling myths and stigma around domestic violence, betting on oneself, the intersection of trauma and mental health with incarceration, and the importance of representation and support systems. Eugene also shares about his impactful book 'Resilience: Breaking the Chains' and his role as a mitigation specialist in a federal public defender's office.

00:00 Introduction and Myths Around Domestic Violence
00:23 Meet Eugene Z. Bertrand
01:21 Eugene's Journey and Impact of Real Men Feel
02:03 Discussing the Man Box and Male Vulnerability
04:35 Creativity as a Healing Tool
06:01 Eugene's Book: Resilience Breaking the Chains
12:06 Challenges and Opportunities in Mental Health for Black Men
16:38 Mitigation Specialist Role and Rehabilitation
23:08 Betting on Yourself and Personal Growth
26:54 Final Thoughts and Connection

Connect with Eugene
Eugene Z Bertrand — https://eugenezbertrand.com/
LinkedIn — linkedin.com/in/eugene-bertrand

Resources
Resilience: Breaking the Chains by Eugene Z Bertrand — https://amzn.to/44oc8Sq
200 Powerful Positive Affirmations and 6 Simple Tips to Put Them to Work by Andy Grant — https://amzn.to/4p2k8kd

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 381

Overcoming Addiction and Adversity: The Kelley Gulledge Story

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant speaks with former professional baseball player Kelley Gulledge, who shares his powerful journey from battling crack cocaine addiction to achieving sobriety and overcoming multiple sclerosis. Kelley opens up about his struggles, the pivotal moments that led to his recovery, and the importance of faith, family, and perseverance.

This inspirational conversation delves into the depths of addiction, the road to redemption, and the strength needed to rebuild one’s life.

00:00 A Shocking Introduction
00:32 Meet Kelley Gulledge
01:28 Growing Up in a Baseball Family
02:51 College Decision and Early Career
04:11 The Dark Turn: Addiction Begins
05:01 The Struggle with Crack Cocaine
08:00 Hitting Rock Bottom
12:07 The Road to Recovery
15:16 Finding Sobriety and Purpose
17:02 A Spiritual Awakening
23:03 Returning to Baseball
24:06 Struggles with Sobriety and Morality
26:39 Finding Support and Love
28:55 Health Scare and Diagnosis
33:12 Adopting a New Lifestyle
36:36 Career Transition and Giving Back
41:37 Pride in Family and Faith
47:27 Final Reflections and Connection

Connect with Kelley
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelley-gulledge-22845248/

Resources
The Wahls Protocol: A Radical New Way to Treat All Chronic Autoimmune Conditions Using Paleo Principles, by Dr Terry Wahls — https://amzn.to/4a6sH93

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 380

Transformational Healing: A Journey Through Trauma

In this episode of 'Real Men Feel,' host Andy Grant engages in a profound conversation with Kerry Blaser, a mother, shaman, and author who has transformed her life from academic and corporate settings to profound healing work following her struggles with pain and trauma. Kerry shares her journey from a suicide attempt to embracing her psychic gifts and using them to heal herself and others.

She discusses the critical role men, such as Andrew Tate and Justin Waller, have played in her personal growth and offers insights on how both men and women can navigate their wounds towards wisdom and self-love. Kerry emphasizes the importance of monogamy—the unique bond between specific men and women—and how staying true to one's emotions can lead to authentic, fulfilling relationships.

00:00 Introduction to Real Men Feel
00:32 Meet Kerry Blaser: A Journey of Healing
01:31 Kerry's Turning Point: A Suicide Attempt
02:49 Psychic Awakening in the Psych Ward
05:17 Embracing Psychic Gifts and Healing
09:05 The Power of Yoga and Medicine Journeys
11:46 Healing Through Relationships
15:24 Mirroring and Healing with Men
17:28 Facing Fears and Attracting Unusual Relationships
18:06 Emotional Pain and Growth
19:03 Challenges with Men and Their Vulnerabilities
20:25 Connections to Childhood and Trauma
22:28 Healing and Self-Reflection
23:12 The Role of Women in Society
26:09 Monogamy and Enlightenment
28:33 The Importance of Self-Love and Healthy Relationships
32:37 The Need for a Healthy Nuclear Family
36:47 Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Kerry
Website — https://www.kerryblaser.com
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/kerryblaserofficial
Tiktok — https://www.tiktok.com/@kerryblaserofficial
YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@kerryblaser

Resources
My Inner Heroine by Kerry Blaser — https://amzn.to/44dqg0H

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant Website | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel Website | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 379

Facing Imposter Syndrome and Grief

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant welcomes Alain Dumonceaux, founder of The Awakened Man, to discuss imposter syndrome and grief. Alain shares his personal journey of loss and self-discovery, including the death of his father-in-law and nearly losing his marriage. He explains how these experiences motivated him to create a supportive community for men to find purpose, power, and wholeness.

Alain delves into the concept of awakening, the importance of brotherhood, and how men can move beyond feeling like a fraud to live with real courage. The conversation also explores the different ways men and women handle grief and the importance of acknowledging and addressing internal struggles.

00:00 Introduction: The Void of External Validation
00:20 Welcome to Real Men Feel
00:38 Meet Alain Dumonceaux: Founder of The Awakened Man
01:13 Alain's Personal Journey of Loss and Self-Discovery
05:21 The Concept of Awakening
06:52 The Inner World of Men: Success and Validation
09:07 The Importance of Values and Beliefs
18:51 Handling Grief and Loss
26:57 The Role of Brotherhood and Community
30:12 Conclusion: Embracing Purpose and Connection

Connect with Alain
Website — https://www.theawakenedman.net/
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/the.revolutionary.man
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/theawakenedman.net
YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg8DCH78anx-r7KZEU8Eclw

Resources
The Revolutionary Man Podcast — https://therevolutionarymanpodcast.buzzsprout.com/

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and connect with other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant Website | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel Website | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 378

Overcoming Compulsive Sexual Behavior

In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant speaks with Craig Perra, a renowned expert on overcoming compulsive sexual behaviors, sex addiction, and porn addiction. Craig shares his personal journey from a high-powered attorney with severe addiction issues to becoming a co-founder of the Mindful Habit System, a transformative approach to managing compulsive behaviors. The discussion delves into the underlying causes of such behaviors, the detrimental role of shame, and the importance of leading all parts of oneself, including those aspects one may despise.

Craig also emphasizes the necessity of purpose, emotional regulation, and healthy habits in overcoming addiction. Additionally, he sheds light on the unique challenges faced by high-profile individuals and the pervasive impact of easily accessible pornography in today's digital age.

00:00 Introduction to the Cure for Sex and Porn Addiction
00:32 Meet Craig Perra: Overcoming Addiction
01:22 Craig's Personal Journey and Turning Point
03:19 Building the Mindful Habit System
08:10 The Role of Shame and Internal Family Systems
11:52 Challenges with Traditional 12-Step Models
14:22 Focusing on Habits Over Addiction
16:15 Unique Challenges for High Achievers
18:52 Impact of Technology on Compulsive Sexual Activity
22:53 Addressing Deeper Needs and Self-Care
24:38 Advice for Partners and Breaking the Cycle
28:12 The Importance of Healthy Sexual Expression
30:15 Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Craig
Website — https://www.mindfulhabithelp.com/
TikTok —   https://www.tiktok.com/@the_mindful_habit
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/mindful_habit_coaching/
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/craigperra/
YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/user/themindfulhabitResources
Sex Afflictions & Porn Addictions Podcast — https://pod.link/556373664
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg — https://amzn.to/47wkGaJ

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:
Join me and other like-minded men in the
Authentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/group
Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant
Andy Grant Website | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!
Real Men Feel Website | http://realmenfeel.org
YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel ep 377