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Motherhood can be beautiful — but it can also feel incredibly overwhelming.

In this episode of Real Moms Welcome, Jess shares an honest conversation about what happens when life starts to feel like too much and why so many mothers struggle to give themselves permission to slow down.

When we’re juggling parenting, relationships, work, and the invisible mental load of motherhood, it’s easy to push past our limits without realizing how much pressure we’re carrying. Over time, that pressure can lead to emotional exhaustion, irritability, and the feeling that even the things we love have become heavy.

In this episode, we explore the difference between quitting and pausing, why honoring your capacity matters for your nervous system, and how learning to slow down can actually help you show up as a more grounded and present mother.

Jess also guides listeners through a short breathing moment to help reset and reconnect with their bodies during overwhelming seasons.

If you’ve ever felt like motherhood is too much, this conversation will remind you that you’re not alone — and that sometimes the most supportive thing you can do is pause.

In This Episode We Talk About:

• Why motherhood can feel overwhelming even when you love your children deeply
• The invisible mental and emotional load many moms carry
• How pushing past your limits affects your nervous system
• The difference between quitting and pausing

This Episode is For You If:

• You feel overwhelmed by motherhood
• You’re juggling too many responsibilities
• You feel pressure to keep going even when you're exhausted
• You want to feel more grounded and emotionally steady as a mom

If this episode resonated with you, share it with another mom who may need to hear this today.

And if you're enjoying the podcast, leaving a review helps more moms find Real Moms Welcome.

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Have you ever looked at old photos of yourself and thought, “Who even is that?”

In this episode, I’m talking about the identity shift that happens after becoming a mom — and why feeling lost might actually mean you’re evolving.

Motherhood changes more than your schedule and sleep. It changes your brain, your nervous system, your priorities, and your sense of self. This transition even has a name: matrescence — the developmental shift into motherhood.

We’ll explore:

• Why you may not recognize yourself after having a baby
• The science behind matrescence and maternal brain changes
• Why grief and gratitude can exist at the same time
• What it really means to “lose yourself” in motherhood
• How to gently reconnect with who you’re becoming

If you’ve ever wondered, “Who am I after becoming a mom?” — this conversation is for you.

What Is Matrescence?

The term matrescence was originally coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael and later expanded by reproductive psychiatrist Alexandra Sacks to describe the physical, emotional, hormonal, and identity changes that occur when a woman becomes a mother.

Research published in Nature Neuroscience has shown measurable brain changes during pregnancy and early motherhood, particularly in areas related to empathy, emotional regulation, and bonding. In other words — if you feel different, it’s because you are different.

Reflection Questions from This Episode

• What parts of me feel like they’re shedding?
• Where do I catch glimpses of myself lately?
• If I stop trying to go back, what might I allow forward?

If this episode resonated, share it with a mom who needs to hear that she’s not alone in this.

And if you’re enjoying the podcast, leaving a review helps more moms find these conversations.

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Before I had my daughter, I had very strong opinions about the kind of mom I was going to be.

No excessive screen time.
 No separate meals.
 No bribery.
 Always patient.
 Never losing myself.

And then… I became a mom.

In this lighter, more playful episode of Real Moms Welcome, I’m sharing five things I swore I would never do as a mom — and the very humbling ways real-life motherhood proved me wrong.

If you’ve ever judged a parenting choice… only to find yourself doing that exact thing later — this episode is for you.

This isn’t about guilt.
 It’s not about perfection.
 It’s about growth, compassion, and laughing at ourselves along the way.

Because motherhood has a way of softening our sharp edges — and replacing them with humility.

In This Episode We Talk About:

• The screen time standards I once swore I’d never bend
• Why “my child will eat what we eat” didn’t last long
• The Target parking lot bribe that humbled me
• The myth of being the endlessly patient mom
• The subtle ways motherhood changes your identity
• Why regulated moms matter more than rigid rules
• How pre-kid parenting confidence hits differently once you’re in it

This Episode Is For You If:

• You’ve ever said “I will never…” — and then absolutely did
• You’ve felt guilty for not parenting the way you imagined
• You want a reminder that imperfection is normal
• You need something light, funny, and deeply relatable
• You’re learning to have more compassion for yourself as a mom

Motherhood isn’t the golden-hour Pinterest board we imagined.

It’s snacks in every purse pocket.
 Negotiations over vegetables.
 Repairing after short tempers.
 And realizing that the version of you who judged other moms… just didn’t know yet.

If this episode made you laugh or nod your head in solidarity, share it with a mom friend. And if you’re loving the show, leaving a quick review helps more moms find their place to exhale.

Because here at Real Moms Welcome, we’re not aiming for perfect — we’re aiming for real.

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Have you ever gone through a season where your child suddenly only wants the other parent?

The “Dad phase.”
 The “Mom phase.”
 The “Don’t touch me — I want them” phase.

Even when you know it’s developmentally normal… it can still feel personal.

In this episode, I’m sharing a real-life story from last week when Addy went straight into a dad phase after Jason returned from an overnight work trip — and how unexpectedly hard it hit me.

We’re talking about:

• Why kids go through parent preference phases
• The psychology behind attachment and reconnection
• Why children often push away the parent they feel safest with
• What it can trigger in us emotionally
• How to cope when you feel rejected, replaced, or invisible

This episode is honest, vulnerable, and grounded in nervous system awareness — not perfection.

Because motherhood will activate old wounds.
 And that doesn’t mean you’re failing.
 It means you’re human.

If you’re currently in a season where you’re not the “chosen” parent, this one is for you.

This Episode Is For You If:

• Your toddler or young child suddenly prefers the other parent
• You feel hurt when your child pushes you away
• You struggle with identity as the primary caregiver
• You want to understand attachment and nervous system dynamics in motherhood
• You’re navigating postpartum emotional sensitivity

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What happens when your child is having big emotions… and you are too?

In this episode of Real Moms Welcome, Jess shares honestly about a weekend marked by anger, guilt, and emotional overwhelm — and the reminder that sometimes, motherhood isn’t about fixing or regulating in the moment. It’s about understanding that emotions rise, peak, and eventually settle again.

Jess talks about how hormonal shifts during the luteal phase can intensify emotional reactions, why it’s normal to lose capacity at times, and how remembering the temporary nature of these states can soften shame. This episode is an invitation to stop judging yourself for hard moments and to trust that even when things feel intense, they will come back down.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

• What happens when moms are the ones with big feelings
• How luteal phase hormones can amplify anger, tears, and overwhelm
• The anger → guilt → shame cycle many moms experience
• Why not every hard moment needs to be “worked through”
• Trusting that emotions move, settle, and soften with time
• Remembering you’re a good mom even when you don’t get it right

This Episode Is For You If:

• You feel overwhelmed or emotionally reactive at times
• You judge yourself harshly after hard parenting moments
• You’re craving permission to stop fixing and start trusting the process
• You want reassurance that intense emotions don’t last forever

Gentle Reminder

You are not meant to stay regulated all the time.
 Emotions rise. They peak. And they settle again.
 You are still a good mom in all of it.

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In this episode of Real Moms Welcome, Jess and Alanna sit down for a real, unfiltered conversation about motherhood, identity, and what happens when becoming a mom cracks parts of us open we didn’t even know were there.

We talk about the moments when motherhood feels destabilizing — when relationships shift, things get messy, and it feels tempting to believe something must be “wrong” with us. Instead, this conversation gently explores how those moments are often invitations to listen more closely, adjust our support, and come back into relationship with ourselves.

This is not a conversation about fixing yourself. It’s about honoring the season you’re in, trusting yourself, and remembering that you already have access to the awareness and capacity you need to support yourself through motherhood’s transitions.

What We Talk About in This Episode

• How motherhood can crack us open emotionally and relationally
• Identity shifts that happen after becoming a mother
• Why needing support doesn’t mean you’re failing
• Allowing tools and support to change as your life changes
• Letting go of the belief that something is “wrong” with you
• Reconnecting with self-trust during seasons of transition
• What it looks like to come back to yourself, gently

Connect with Alanna

If you felt drawn to Alanna’s words or energy, you can find her here:

• Instagram: @lettersfromlanna
  
  
• Join her letters

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In this episode of Real Moms Welcome, Jess shares a deeply relatable story about taking her daughter to the ER, navigating mom guilt, and getting stuck in indecision. Not because there were not options, but because of an unseen belief running the show. 

After learning her daughter had RSV, Jess found herself juggling childcare disruptions, a work trip, and the start of the semester for her MSW program at University of Southern California. When a critical class conflicted with a follow-up pediatrician appointment, a simple solution suddenly felt impossible and that's when she uncovered the belief under it all: that being a "good mom" meant she had to be the one physically there.

This episode explores how subconscious beliefs are formed, how they quietly shape our decisions in motherhood, and why awareness, not fixing or forcing, is the most powerful first step toward relief. 

If you've ever felt stuck in mental ping-pong, or overwhelmed by mom guilt, or unsure why making a "simple" decision feels so hard, this conversation will help you feel seen, validated, and less alone. 

In this episode, we talk about:

• Mom guilt and second-guessing yourself
• Trusting your instincts as a mother
• Why indecision can feel so exhausting
• How subconscious beliefs are formed
• Letting go of the need to prove yourself
• How awareness creates space, choice, and relief

This episode is for the mom who is doing her best, questinong herself anyway, and learning to meet herself with more compassion along the way.

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There's a quiet pressure in motherhood to enjoy every moment, to soak it all in, stay grateful, and appreciate every phase because "it goes so fast."

But what if that pressure is actually making motherhood feel heavier?

In this episode of Real Moms Welcome, Jess shares an honest, heart-to-heart conversation about the reality of motherhood seasons that are demanding, exhausting, and deeply human. She talks openly about navigating the emotional weight of constant boundary-pushing, and the guilt that can surface when you're not enjoying every moment, even when you love your child deeply.

This episode is a gentle permission slip to let moments be what they are, without forcing gratitude or meaning, and without making it mean something about your worth as a mother.

This episode is for you if:

• You love your kids but don't enjoy every part of motherhood
• You feel pressure to "soak it all in" even when you're exhausted
• You've felt guilt for wishing certain phases would pass
• You want more honestly and less perfection in motherhood

This conversation isn't about fixing yourself or reframing every moment into gratitude. It's about permission, honesty, and remembering that real motherhood includes the full range of human emotions and experience. 

If this episode resonates, consider sharing it with another mom who might need to hear this today and leave us a review! 

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What I’m Committing to for a Lighter Season of Motherhood

Coming out of the holidays can feel heavy — the schedules, the chaos, the constant “keeping up,” and the emotional weight of doing it all while still trying to be present.

In this episode of Real Moms Welcome, Jess shares honestly about this current season of motherhood: feeling worn out after the holidays, navigating a toddler deep in her independence phase, and holding both the beauty and the exhaustion that come with it.

Instead of offering fixes or routines to add to your plate, Jess opens up about three simple commitments she’s making this year to help motherhood feel more spacious and light — commitments she’s actively learning and practicing alongside you.

This episode is for you if:

• you’re coming out of the holidays feeling depleted
• motherhood feels loud, busy, or relentless right now
• you want more space without doing more
• you’re craving honesty instead of perfection

In this episode, we talk about:

• The emotional toll of post-holiday motherhood
• Parenting a toddler in the “independence” phase
• Why practices have to look different in real motherhood
• Building a consistent breathwork practice that actually fits your life
• Recommitting to health without guilt
• Protecting your capacity through simpler rhythms and boundaries
• The power of naming what you’re committed to in this season

This conversation isn’t about changing who you are or fixing your life.
 It’s about choosing what supports you now — and allowing that to be enough.

At the end of the episode, you’re invited to reflect on one thing you’re committed to this year and share it with someone you trust.

If you want to follow along for more, you can find Jess on Instagram @jess_bonini_

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In this deeply personal episode, Jess opens up about her own journey of losing herself in motherhood and slowly finding her way back. From working in the healing space and caring for four bonus kids, to the shift she felt after having Addy, Jess shares the honest, raw truth about leaving the work she loved, disconnecting from her breath, and spiraling into survival mode.

This episode explores the identity collapse that so many mothers experience, but rarely talk about. Jess explains why this happens on both a psychological and nervous system level, how disconnection from the body leads to disconnection from the self, and what it really looks like to rebuild slowly, gently, one breath at a time. 

She guides you through a grounding practice designed to reconnect you with teh part of you that feels lost or forgotten. And most importantly: she reminds you that the "old you" isn't gone...she's waiting.

Key Topics:

• Why identity shifts are a normal part of motherhood
• How leaving yourself begins with disconnecting from your body
• The signs that you're living in survival mode
• A guided practice to start coming back home to yourself

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