Real Recovery Talk

Can I be sober and have fun at the same time?

Often times when people get sober they think that they are buying into this new idea that they are going to live boring mundane lives. Done get me wrong, I do know people that are super boring and would be in better moods if they were drunk. Those are people we like too call "dry drunks" 😂

Sobriety and Recovery can be boring if we don't take the initiative to make it fun! We need to find people that we can surround ourselves with that are going to help us enjoy our new fund sobriety.

I tell people all the time, find new stuff to do. Have new experiences. Without those, sobriety can be boring. Let's face it, if sobriety can't be fun, then what is the point?

Remember, it takes initiative. We have to make our sobriety what we want it to be or we are going to go back to what we know best. Drugs and Alcohol 💪✌️

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5 Minutes or Under

Stay the Course

The ever changing landscape of addiction can be rather daunting. At first it's beautiful, sunny, perfect weather and no storms. We are just enjoying the weather

Eventually though, the inevitable happens.

Storms start to come through.

What do we do when this happens? Often times addicts and alcoholics will let this turn into an excuse to drink or drug. Rather than looking at the situation as an opportunity, we can look at it as oppression. "Why did this have to happen to me?"

We can't let that happen. When life smacks us in the face, which it will. I promise. We need to be able to look at it through sober eyes. Ask yourself:

• how can I grow through this situation?
• Will I grow mentally, physically, spiritually?
• What is God or The Universe trying to show me?
• Once I get to the other side of this situation, what might I have learned

Let's start handling life circumstances differently. Let's not use them as a reason to pick up. Let's look at life circumstances as opportunity rather than oppression.

LETS STAY THE COURSE

Many people don't fully understand that a relapse starts WAY before one actually picks up a drink or a drug. It is very important to understand that you have to think it through when you are faced with the temptation of relapse. Think of the consequences that you could face when picking up that drink or drug.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Live Chat
• Real Recovery Talk on the Web
• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes
• Rock Recovery Center

Check out my new website https://realrecoverytalk.com/ where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery.

Today I will talk with Benjamin B., and we reflect on our holiday musings. How being clean was a much different experience than showing up high. Being sober is more work; however, Ben was able to participate in the holiday events now that he is sober and received much more out of the experience while sober.

In this episode, Ben talks about how he really is in tune with 12 Step Programs. Learn how Ben benefited from treatment in a facility and the reasons why and when you should choose a treatment facility over a support group for rehab.

Ben and I talk about the "$30,000 big book" from AA and how the founder of AA went through three types of treatments before he developed an AA program. Why support programs may not address the underlying symptoms such as childhood abuse, trauma, and PTSD. Twelve steps are applicable, however, not specific for healing trauma. A therapist who can meet with you one-on-one on the outside of the program will assist you in learning how to heal the trauma, which is fueling the alcohol and drug addiction and move you towards emotional balance. The result and effect of personal counseling will fan out throughout all facets of your life.

Treatment centers give you the added benefit of the community. Community to be supported and feel comfortable with others who are suffering from addiction and may have similar challenges. Support groups are optional and do not create a need to go to multiple meetings. Treatment centers give you the support of professionals for evaluation and take you through the process, working alongside you for your time at treatment.

Listen in to find out what treatment centers can offer and who can benefit from a treatment center with a more positive outcome than only participating in a support group. Find out why accountability, community, and support make the big difference for your success in detox and healing.

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Show Notes:

• [05:31] Ben talks about his experience with 12 Step Programs.
• [07:51] Trying AA, church or another recovery method first may not be your best choice.
• [10:15] Combining a program with a counselor or psychologist who you see outside the program to work through trauma can be a good path to recovery.
• [12:37] What you can take from support groups and support therapy.
• [17:50] Go to multiple meetings and / or multiple support groups to find one which is a good fit for your personality.
• [19:38] Numbers and data for treatment center success.
• [22:26] Clients see the support they have during treatment and building support outside of treatment.
• [24:30] Recap of the elements which support your treatment at a facility.
• [26:45] Parents should stay out of treatment until the client is ready for outside responsibility.
• [29:30] The importance of seeing a counselor or therapist on a weekly basis.
• [33:24] People who have been diagnosed with a mental illness, when they come clean, find out they are not mentally ill.
• [34:59] The winning formula for recovery.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Live Chat
• Real Recovery Talk on the Web
• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes
• Rock Recovery Center

Check out my new website https://realrecoverytalk.com/ where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery.

Today I will talk to a former drug addict, Glenn, who almost lost everything because of his addiction to drugs. Many addicts come from a background where addiction is present or the environment they lived in as a child promotes drug and alcohol abuse, however, Glenn is an exception to this rule. His family background is from a supportive family with a stay-at-home mom and a dad who worked out with him at the gym every week.

Sports were big for Glenn, especially wrestling. He excelled at wrestling and had the opportunity to wrestle in college. When the time came to sign to go to college, Glenn told his dad he didn't want to wrestle in college. His dad was surprised but gave him his blessing, and Glenn attended college. Glen decided to not wrestle after his senior year because wrestling was too high pressure.

Glenn talks about how his workouts and winning were addictions, and he won't play a game unless he could win. His friends in college were all leaders of the sport they played. This was his main group of friends. Glenn and his buddies would go hang out in the woods and drink, usually ending up passing out in the basement of his house. Glenn's parents would not allow alcohol in the house, but they were OK with his friends sleeping over.

In 2008, his dad had a stroke and was fired from his job because he couldn't perform his work duties. Being the only income in the household, Glenn decided to pitch in to help pay the mortgage for his dad and mom. He secured a job with a local union that paid well and continued to drink on the weekends. One weekend he fell and separated his shoulder snowboarding. His doctor prescribed pain killers, and after his doctor cut him off, he went through detox. One of his co-workers started selling him his personally prescribed pain killers, which led Glenn down the road to addiction at age 19.

One of his friends offered him heroin, and Glenn was addicted in a week. Heroin was less expensive and gave him a better feeling at age 21. He continued to work his job, but called out often and didn't get paid much. Glenn would only go to work when he needed money for drugs.

He was pulled over a few months later and was arrested with a DWAI. His parents wanted him to go to rehab, he started isolating himself. When he wanted to go home to his parents, they refused to take him in, and Glenn checked himself into rehab. His family knew something was wrong, but no one would address the problem.

Listen in to find out how Glenn found solace in the structure of sober living at Rock Recovery Center, why getting out of the town he lived in was a positive for him, how finding out about his son having a brain tumor affected him and how he lost his sobriety after drinking on a cruise vacation with his family.

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Show Notes:

• [04:04] Glenn talks about his life as a child and his environment growing up.
• [12:16] How Glenn started drinking in college with other leaders in sports.
• [14:30] Glenn's new addiction to painkillers.
• [17:37] Glenn is introduced to heroin.
• [20:35] How Glenn's addiction affected his relationship with his parents.
• [26:13] What Glenn was able to get away from when he came to Florida for rehab.
• [28:21] After getting clean, getting married, Glenn falls back into addiction.
• [29:40] Glenn's mindset while living at the hospital with his wife to take care of his son.
• [30:56] Glenn decided to not go back to meetings after five years of being sober.
• [31:37] Glenn's experience with drinking.
• [33:35] Alcohol can get you re-addicted even if you didn't drink as an addict.
• [37:18] How getting off your diet is similar to getting back onto drugs.
• [38:35] Glenn relapsed for six months then ran out of money.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Live Chat
• Real Recovery Talk on the Web
• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes
• Rock Recovery Center

Today I will talk about the most common rehab myths, boil down the real issues, dissect and talk about each myth piece by piece.

You may give yourself excuses as to why you don't want to be clean and sober. There are reasons which may be playing over and over again in your head, which are preventing you from getting clean and sober. Or maybe you are the person who loves an addict, and you are making excuses for them not to enter rehab.

The biggest fear I commonly hear about from clients is the fear of the withdrawal process. More poignantly, the first five to ten days of recovery. This is the most intense part of the recovery process. Other factors that affect withdrawal are the types of drugs used, the frequency and amount of drugs used, the combination of drugs and alcohol, and prescription medication addiction. These are the most common factors which will play into how long and intense the withdrawal process will take for an individual.

While the withdrawal process may be uncomfortable, some tools can assist you in moving through the process to get to the other side. I know from personal experience, this process cannot be bypassed.

The two most intense addictions to move past are alcohol and anti-anxiety drugs. You can die from detoxing from these two if you do not have medical supervision when you are moving through this withdrawal. Removing these chemicals from your body is hard on your brain, and there can be medical effects such as seizures.

Heroin, crack cocaine, and opiate addiction are going to be more of a "psychological detox". There is very little chance of dying from these types of detox. Under medical supervision, the process can be better with detox medication in a detox facility. I believe these medications should be used only in a medical environment.

These reasons are not an excuse to not go through the detox process. Ultimately, I ended up realizing withdrawal is going to happen, but that it's better when you can go through this process at a facility.

If your only rehab option is to detox at home, here are guidelines to follow for recovery:

• Stay hydrated with water
• Ask the family to remove alcohol from the house
• Take away all temptations of drugs and alcohol from your home
• Ask your family members not to do drugs or drink around you
• Find a supportive community, a support group or other people who can help you through the process

I talk about how people say they aren't like other people who are addicted. The common identity is you and the other people at the center have had drugs and alcohol destroy their lives. If you are thinking you are not like the others in recovery because you have a job or a car and you're not homeless, you may never be able to get sober. This is a barrier and insecurity to sobriety.

Others say they won't know who they are without drugs and alcohol. The person on drugs isn't the emotional or mental person you see before you- this is the person who is addicted. Decision-making is fueled by their addiction. When you have been driven by drugs and alcohol for years, the person you see is not the real person inside. The fourteen years I spent drinking had molded me into somebody that didn't know life without alcohol. I had to get sober - I had to submit to the fact that I had to learn how to relive my life.

People who get sober come from all walks of life. From janitors to car salesman to executives are all "cut from the same cloth." We are all human, and there is going to be conflict; however, this is a part of life. You learn how to be challenged and overcome these challenges.

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Show Notes:

• [03:30] Reasons you could be playing over and over again to prevent you from being clean and sober.
• [05:02] The withdrawal process is uncomfortable, but with the right tools, you can move through the process.
• [10:05] Wanting to avoid the fallout of detoxification from withdrawal is not an excuse to avoid getting sober.
• [11:37] Guidelines to follow for recovery if you are detoxing outside of a medical facility
• [14:31] You're in the same boat as others who are going through and have been through recovery.
• [16:57] What addicts who are not successful think about.
• [21:56] My personal example of how I became an alcoholic.
• [24:48] How my life revolved around drinking and how I had to reinvent myself.
• [28:04] These things are easy for me to say now, but not easy for me to go through ten years ago.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Live Chat
• Real Recovery Talk on the Web
• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes
• Rock Recovery Center

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Disclaimer: The information found in this episode should not be used to diagnose, prescribe or treat an individual and should not be used in place of medical advice from a licensed healthcare practitioner.

We recently attended a celebration of life for a friend, which was beautiful. He touched so many people with his kindness and love.

Today Ben and I will chat about real experiences we have come across in our journey, focusing on MAT - Medically Assisted Treatment. MAT can be useful with proper execution and planning for the challenges which lie ahead for the client. Mood and mind-altering drugs are a necessity in some cases; however, our experience has shown us a better recovery method in Abstinence Based Recovery.

At Rock Recovery, we have a step-down program for our clients to transition from our center to living a clean, sober, and independent life. We assist our clients by giving them the tools to safely and effectively live on their own, including community support.

One phone call Ben accepted recently sounded like the potential client was a good fit for our program. Let's call this person, "Mike." Mike claimed he was eight months sober and living on his own with a job and wanted to have additional support and treatment. Ben met Mike for a pre screen drug test, which lit up with three different types of drugs. The man claimed sobriety, which was not valid based on the analysis. Ben found out that Mike's insurance ran out at eight months sobriety and was asked to leave the previous facility he was treated at. The doctor released Mike with two different drugs, which can be fatal if you mix them with alcohol. Additionally, both of these drugs have extreme medical withdrawal.

Ben was troubled with the provider who left this person on his own with drugs, which could have easily killed him if he drank. Mike didn't understand why we couldn't take him into our sober living and had to explain to him what sober living is for the recovery center.

MAT treatment is becoming normalized when this shouldn't be the norm. This method does not take into effect the six requirements for living a sober life. Giving someone drugs and leaving them to their own devices was not responsible for the treatment center who left him out in the cold.

We talk about abstinence-based sobriety and the MAT sobriety process and how we use this therapy in the Rock Recovery Center. We have clients come to us and tell us they want to get off Suboxone and move forward without using drugs for recovery.

Our location in South Florida feels like paradise. This beautiful environment and area to enjoy and relax is a great place to recover and live when you are out of your recovery at the Rock Recovery Center. Ben talks about the many outdoor activities you can participate in during your recovery.

• Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

Show Notes:

• [05:51] The shortcomings and pitfalls which people experience with MAT.
• [06:57] Ben shares his experience with MAT based fallout.
• [14:21] Mike was left out in the cold, with drugs that could have had a fatal side effect.
• [15:19] How Mike was given drugs, but he barely had enough money to live.
• [17:11] When the promises come true.
• [18:17] Who should you see if you are looking for responsible MAT treatment?
• [20:46] Ben's personal experience with Suboxone.
• [23:23] Understand the dangers of using drugs to come off of an addiction.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Live Chat
• Real Recovery Talk on the Web
• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes
• Rock Recovery Center

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world six weeks ago!

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Today Ben and I will chat about stopping your drinking and drugging. If you're ready to get sober, find a place which you enjoy, that is beautiful. A place where you can focus on your recovery. Florida is a great location to start your journey to renew your life.

Many of our clients are from the northeast. I believe there are multiple reasons why people like to come to south Florida for recovery. One of the main reasons is South Florida is a strong recovery community, which is essential when you are looking to get sober. Ben draws the analogy of the south Florida recovery community to the best place you would seek a specific type of sport. You want to go where the sport is played the most, especially if you're competing. South Florida is THE place to be when you are recovering.

The clients who come down to South Florida commonly stay here to live full-time. You can easily find many sober people in South Florida in a restaurant or shopping in a market. It's easy to build relationships here with other people who are sober and are looking to engage in sober activities together.

Clients who return to the northeast find that there are many commercials and programs which are MAT-based. Sometimes a person will move from their current drug to Suboxone - a prescription medicine used to treat adults who are addicted to opioid medications. This drug is used in conjunction with a complete treatment program, which can also include counseling and behavioral therapy. Ben and I believe that using another drug to get off of your current drug isn't the best form of treatment. Many of the addiction programs in the northeast use this type of therapy. At Rock Recovery Center, we want you to thrive without drugs, which is why we do not use this type of therapy.

We talk about abstinence-based sobriety and the MAT sobriety process and how we use this therapy in the Rock Recovery Center. We have clients come to us and tell us they want to get off Suboxone and move forward without using drugs for recovery.

Our location in South Florida feels like paradise. This beautiful environment and area to enjoy and relax is a great place to recover and live when you are out of your recovery at the Rock Recovery Center. Ben talks about the many outdoor activities you can participate in during your recovery.

There are many employment opportunities in South Florida, along with an extensive network of people who are recovering who can give you referrals to jobs. Find out how many opportunities you can find when you are sober!

Many of our clients want to return to South Florida to remain sober. Give us a call, contact us through our website, and find out why Rock Recovery Center is an excellent opportunity for you to become sober and live a fulfilling life.

• Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

Show Notes:

• [03:10] The company and culture in South Florida recovery.
• [04:54] What is a recovery community?
• [08:21] Why Ben and I are fans of abstinence-based treatment.
• [10:35] What patients have shared with us about their experience using Suboxone.
• [12:42] Ben's recovery experience in Minnesota and South Florida.
• [14:30] Employment opportunities in South Florida.
• [17:46] What sobriety looks like after the recovery center and process.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Live Chat
• Real Recovery Talk on the Web
• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes
• Rock Recovery Center

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world five weeks ago!

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Ben and I want to talk about gratitude to give thanks to where the podcast has gone, how the show has helped people, and chat about our thankfulness.

Certain concepts are hard for those in the grip of addiction to understand. One is the thought that their life can be turned around. Another is the idea that there is a positive side at the end of this time in your life.

Ben didn't understand how someone could be a grateful recovering addict. He talks about how he crossed the line with drugs and alcohol. There wasn't one particular moment which he remembers thinking he needed to change. He does, however, remember one instance shortly before his son's first birthday, where the DEA came to his home and arrested him for drug use. Ben remembers thinking that he may be going away and would be locked up for an extended period.

"Recovery must come first in my life" because, without his recovery, his family, child, or anything else isn't going to work. Ben is thankful to find his purpose in helping other people. From sponsoring others to sobriety to reaching so many others and working with them to caring for a friend's child when his mother died of a drug overdose, Ben is finding the world needs him in more ways than he had ever expected.

At one point, I felt that I was going to die an alcoholic. At 26 years old, with a hunting shotgun in the corner of my room, I thought to myself that I could quickly end my life right there in my room.

Don't take the fear of living without drugs and alcohol take over your thoughts. Make a choice to overcome your fear and move forward with your recovery. Ben recalls his early recovery feeling like he didn't have the strength physically, emotionally, or spiritually to make it through another minute.

Ben reiterates his "why" of being here because he now has a purpose. He holds onto resonating with his words, making sure he walks the walk and talks the talk. He often hears about new people in recovery, saying the right words in the group but then doesn't follow through with actions. Ben believes that if they at least know the idea and realize they need to change their behavior, they will eventually move towards more positive behavior.

What we have talked about on this podcast is a reflection of the lives we have built for ourselves. We speak the language because we have been in their shoes. Ben can't put into words what it was like to be an addict. Additionally, he cannot put words to how he feels about living his life without drugs and addiction.

If you're struggling with the idea of sobriety and getting treatment, think about the opportunities which can lie ahead of you when you make a choice to change.

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Show Notes:

• [02:38] Concepts which are hard for those in the grips of addiction to understand.
• [03:12] What drove Ben nuts in early recovery.
• [04:09] The point where you feel that something has to change in your life.
• [05:35] Ben wasn't being the man he knew he was capable of being.
• [06:32] How Ben's experiences have led him to the point at which he is living today.
• [09:14] I tell my story about how I had bought into the concept that I would die an alcoholic.
• [12:59] Ben's work with people in recovery reminds him everyday how valuable his work is.
• [15:52] I talk about suicide being the easy route to escape.
• [20:15] Why we publish this podcast.
• [23:23] Addicts can relate to Ben and gives him a level of trust.
• [29:35] Why having any drugs or alcohol is beneficial for Ben.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Live Chat
• Real Recovery Talk on the Web
• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes
• Rock Recovery Center

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world four weeks ago!

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The holiday season is here upon us. This can be tough for those who are in early recovery, especiallly being with family. Along with family comes a lot of emotions. You may have indugled in drugs and alochol to get through previous holidays to get yourself through this time. Now, however; you are sober and you'll need to put new tools in your toolbox to move through the holidays sober.

The big question I'm going to discuss today: How can we go into the holiday season and be sure we will be OK when we get out the other side?

Don't go into the holiday season with the idea that this will be hard for you. Put your fear aside, celebrate being joyful with friends and family. Especially if you're new to sobriety, take heart to follow these steps and make your holiday season a good and memorable one.

Here is a plan you can follow to have a safe, fun and enjoyable holiday season this year:

#1 Create a plan for your holiday

Not just plan where to go, but how you are going to deal with situations. If you are seeing family, you'll most likely be going back to the same dysfunction or bad habits of the family. Think about what you are going to do and say when family members put you in a "party" situation or try to bring you to a bar.

#2 Find a meeting where you are going during the holiday

Find a support person locally to reach out and talk to someone who can support you.

#3 Communicate with your family members

Tell your family your boundaries and expectations for your health and to support you. Let your family know if they cannot support you, that you will not be coming to the family function. They won't know what you expect unless you communicate with them effectively. Share with them your expectations weeks before you are going to meet them for the holidays. This will relieve the awkwardness of your family so they will know what you feel comfortable with during events. Tell your family that you don't want to be offered alcohol or drugs. If they are drinking, you may need to be in a different room.

#4 Set up your accountability partners before hand

The newly recovered person should decide before they go to a family function who the responsible family members are which they can have for support.

#5 Look at this as an opportunity to create new, wonderful memories with your family!

Look for happy moments and fill your time with fun activities with your family and friends. Have meaningful conversation and tell them about your new found sobriety. You may be a vehicle for others to become sober. You may have spent years not being there for your family, this is your time to show your family and friends you are sober and there for them. Have gratitude you have this opportunity to spend time with them.

1. If you're family is a party family and always uses drugs or alcohol, your best choice is to not attend a family gathering. Be proud of your sobriety and do not put yourself in a situation to lose what you have done for yourself!

There's nothing on the face of this planet that is worth more than your sobriety.

Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

Show Notes:

• [01:44] Sobriety - you haven't had to be sober for previous holidays, but now you do!
• [03:22] Going into your first holiday season as a sober person.
• [04:33] #1 Create a plan for your holiday
• [07:11]What should you do when your family puts you in a not so great situation? Plan ahead!
• [09:09] #3 Communicate with your family members
• [12:03] Decide what family members are supportive and communicate with them. #4 Set up your accountability before hand.
• [15:59] Know that you have a say in what you do with alcohol.
• [19:09] Be proud to be the sober person in the crowd.
• [20:15] There's nothing on the face of this planet that is worth more than your sobriety.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Live Chat
• Real Recovery Talk on the Web
• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes
• Rock Recovery Center