It is useful to know the difference between planning for our desired future versus fantasizing over unrealistic scenarios that actually lead us AWAY from what we truly want. I would encourage us all to take a moment of self-reflection and ask ourselves the following questions:

How much is fantasy playing a role in my current thought process? What do I REALLY want?

How can I get there by planning instead of fantasizing?

If we're not careful we can let our work/home lives get out of balance and create fantasies that distract us from what matters most. The first step is to be aware when this is happening. Then, we can consciously choose to stay in reality and do what is necessary to restore balance in our lives.

Our intimate relationships often need repairing when we are in recovery. For some of us, we may have never been taught how to be in healthy romantic relationships. Whatever the case, when we practice truly connecting with another human being instead of resorting to our isolating behaviors, we allow space for healing and for true intimacy.

When Women Decide to Get Help by Lacy Bentley, Protected Hearts

In recovery, it is important to be able to distinguish between facts, interpretations, feelings, and the stories that we tell ourselves. I hope you will take a quick listen and let me know if you have any thoughts, questions, or experiences you would like to share.

Protected Hearts Women's Recovery Podcast / Sound Bytes

We ALL have innate value. Sometimes we need a quick reminder of that, especially when recovery is kicking our butt and we start questioning our worth. If there's nothing else you take from this, it's that YOU MATTER, no matter what.

You might wonder if this is your fault, or how you contributed to what happened. The truth is, we are all responsible for our own actions. That doesn't do much to help you heal, though. We dig into how you can take care of yourself, what your responsibility is, and what your needs might be right now. Just because it was her addiction, her behaviors, her affair, does not mean you don't have a need for recovery and healing also. Let's chat about what's yours, and what you can do to move yourself forward in your journey.

You might wonder if this is your fault, or how you contributed to what happened. The truth is, we are all responsible for our own actions. That doesn't do much to help you heal, though. We dig into how you can take care of yourself, what your responsibility is, and what your needs might be right now. Just because it was her addiction, her behaviors, her affair, does not mean you don't have a need for recovery and healing also. Let's chat about what's yours, and what you can do to move yourself forward in your journey.

It is critical disclosures are handled properly. When do you need a therapist involved? Do you or she need or want a polygraph? How do you handle it when you both might have indiscretions to report? How many details are important, and how do you decide how much you want to know? So many questions can arise when it comes to this important, sensitive, and necessary step. Whether you are thinking about rebuilding or not, at some point you will need to address the breach of trust.

It is critical disclosures are handled properly. When do you need a therapist involved? Do you or she need or want a polygraph? How do you handle it when you both might have indiscretions to report? How many details are important, and how do you decide how much you want to know? So many questions can arise when it comes to this important, sensitive, and necessary step. Whether you are thinking about rebuilding or not, at some point you will need to address the breach of trust.