Real & Rooted

What Grief Does to a Marriage

Lori explores how devastating loss can change a marriage from the inside out, especially when both people are grieving the same person in different ways. This episode is a candid, compassionate look at distance, resentment, vulnerability, and whether a relationship can be rebuilt after trauma. In this episode, Lori shares how grief can create emotional isolation even in the same house, why “being strong” can become a kind of prison, and why couples often end up fighting about surface issues when the real pain is deeper. She also offers a practical framework for reconnecting through honesty, curiosity, and small conversations.

Key topics

• Grief does not only take the person who died - it can also pull at the marriage, the family identity, and the life you had before
• Lori explains how two people can love each other deeply and still feel emotionally abandoned
• The episode names a common grief pattern: one spouse seems distant, while the other feels unseen, unsupported, or resented
• Resentment often hides underneath everyday arguments about tone, chores, money, or silence
• Lori describes how “armor” forms after trauma when people learn to function instead of feel
• Being labeled “strong” can make it harder to admit when you are falling apart
• Grief is not a competition - people can mourn the same loss in completely different ways
• Compassion is framed as curiosity, especially asking, “Tell me why you feel that way”
• The episode distinguishes between understanding grief and excusing harmful behavior
• Lori encourages couples to ask who they are now, instead of trying to recover who they were before the loss

Timestamps

00:00 - Setting the tone for a conversation about grief and marriage
 01:21 - The question nobody prepares couples for after a devastating loss
 03:44 - How survival can slowly turn into emotional distance
 05:06 - When love is still there, but communication breaks down
 07:00 - “How does one drowning person rescue another drowning person?”
 09:17 - Resentment begins quietly, not always with obvious conflict
 11:52 - A pause to ask when the couple started surviving separately
 12:22 - Grieving the person who died and everything attached to them
 15:23 - Grieving who your spouse used to be, and who you used to be
 16:33 - The armor people build just to keep functioning
 18:18 - Why vulnerability feels dangerous after trauma
 19:02 - Surface fights that are really about fear, abandonment, and hurt
 21:12 - Finding the sentence underneath the anger
 22:27 - Why grief comparisons damage relationships
 24:00 - How two people can miss each other even while grieving in the same house
 26:28 - One sentence, one truth, one piece of armor at a time
 27:26 - Responding to vulnerability with curiosity instead of defensiveness
 28:42 - Remembering the version of your partner you once chose
 29:31 - Devotion after loss looks less romantic and more practical
 31:41 - Love and boundaries can coexist
 32:40 - Why the real question is not “How do we go back?”
 33:24 - Re-introducing yourselves to each other after life changes everything
 35:49 - A small first step: ask what grief has been like for your partner
 36:47 - Saying “I love you and I don’t know how to find you anymore”
 37:54 - Compassion after devastation means wanting to care that you hurt someone
 38:52 - Practical prompts for a bridge-building conversation
 40:19 - Love after hell may be simpler, quieter, and more honest
 42:30 - What grief can do to the vows and the marriage underneath them
 43:31 - Taking off the armor and saying, “Here I am”
 44:26 - The possibility of building a new marriage after loss
 45:12 - Closing reflection on truth, healing, relationships, and staying rooted

Action items

• Sit across from your spouse or partner without phones or distractions
• Finish these sentence prompts: 
  • Since everything happened, I've been afraid that...
  • The time I felt most alone was...
  • Something I wish you understood about my grief is...
  • Something I think I misunderstood is...
  • What I miss about us is...
  • What I still love about us is...
  • What I need from you now is...
• Ask one honest question instead of making a case
• If the conversation gets too big, stop and return to it another day
• Try saying one simple truth: “I’m lonely,” “I’m angry,” “I need you,” or “I don’t know how to be your wife or husband right now”

Notable quotes

“Sometimes strong becomes a prison.”

“Grief can explain behavior. It doesn't automatically excuse it.”

“Maybe the bravest thing isn't fighting harder. Maybe it's putting the weapons down.”

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Lori opens Season 2 with a deeply personal reflection on what it means to move from surviving to living after loss. She talks through how grief reshapes marriage, parenting, identity, and faith, using the shoreline as the central metaphor for healing, growth, and resilience. This episode is a solo conversation from Lori, and it matters because it names the quiet ways grief changes every relationship around us. If you have been trying to hold it all together while rebuilding your life, this episode offers language, honesty, and permission to be real.

Key topics

• Lori frames Season 2 around the shift from survival to living, and from healing in private to speaking honestly about the ongoing work of grief.
• She explains how grief is not just personal, it ripples through marriage, family, communication, and the way support is given and received.
• Lori shares that marriage after loss is not about going back to who you were before, but about moving forward with vulnerability, honesty, and intentional care.
• She describes how grief changed the way she and her husband relate, including learning to say what support actually looks like instead of assuming it.
• She reflects on being the “strong one” for years and how grief forced her to admit she does not have to carry everything.
• Lori talks about empty nesting as another major identity shift, especially when parenthood changes with grown children and with the memory of her angel child.
• She shares that podcasting became her place to put the truth, a space where she can speak without interruption and process grief while still growing.
• The shoreline metaphor anchors the episode: erosion as overwhelm, shifting sand as identity, rebuilding as healing, roots as grounding, and waves as proof that movement means life.
• Lori briefly speaks about faith as a lighthouse in the storm, including the image of footprints in the sand and the idea that divine presence can remain even when it feels hidden.
• She closes by reminding listeners that they are allowed to change, rebuild, and grow without pretending to be unbreakable.

Timestamps

• (0:03) Welcome back and the season’s focus on surviving the storm
• (1:09) Season 2 begins: living after loss, not just surviving it
• (2:34) Sitting with grief and realizing old wounds are still tender
• (3:09) How grief changes a marriage and reshapes a couple
• (4:08) Why the podcast is about redefining existence, not returning to normal
• (4:59) How grief affects communication, needs, and emotional distance
• (6:05) Carrying the whole house on your back and questioning strength
• (7:23) Grief’s quiet reminder that you do not have to carry everything
• (7:58) Marriage after loss: vulnerability as intimacy
• (9:27) Shared truth, support, and a relationship rearranged, not broken
• (11:14) Empty nesting and the identity shift in parenthood
• (12:44) Supporting grown children without holding on too tightly
• (14:24) Why podcasting became the place to tell the truth
• (15:39) Creating grounding for listeners in their own storms
• (17:00) Faith as a lighthouse in the storm
• (19:13) The shoreline metaphor: grief meets growth
• (20:47) Real, not polished, and learning that perfection is not required
• (23:30) Permission to change, rebuild, and grow with the tides
• (24:13) Season 2’s core message: grounding, softness, and truth

Notable quotes

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“Grief rearranged the furniture in my soul.”

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“Marriage isn’t built on silence. It’s built on shared truth.”

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“You don’t have to carry everything.”

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Lori reflects on a hard personal season and the quote that opened the episode: that the worst times of life reveal the true colors of people around us, and of ourselves. She unpacks grief, career disruption, and the quiet ways survival mode can look like strength while actually keeping us locked behind a steel gate. This episode is especially meaningful for anyone carrying loss while still functioning on the outside. Lori shares a vulnerable story about a welfare check, the people who stayed, and what it means to notice, ask, and stand watch for each other.

Key topics

• Lori explores how a single quote about “true colors” can reveal not only who stays and who leaves, but also who we become under pressure.
• She shares how the last 2.5 years after losing Kole have reshaped her life, identity, and sense of direction.
• In this episode, she explains the difference between accountability and self-blame, especially when grief and uncertainty make every setback feel personal.
• She reflects on survival mode as something that can look like strength from the outside while actually numbing grief, joy, and vulnerability.
• Lori discusses how career instability can deepen loss, especially when professional identity has been tightly connected to self-worth.
• She names the people who stayed, checked in, and remembered Kole, showing that presence is a choice, not a title or obligation.
• She shares a deeply vulnerable welfare check story that highlights how functioning and being okay are not the same thing.
• Lori argues that crisis does not always look like collapse and that people often need someone to ask the real question and stay for the answer.
• She offers a practical way forward: stop arguing with reality, stop chasing unavailable support, protect what matters, and let go of what no longer serves.
• The episode closes with a call to move from surviving to living, making room for grief and joy in the same heart.

Timestamps

00:00 - A quote that changes the whole conversation
 03:35 - Why survival mode can feel familiar and safe
 06:28 - Losing professional footing after personal loss
 08:25 - Accountability versus self-blame
 12:05 - The people who stay and keep showing up
 14:41 - How survival mode can hide behind success
 16:23 - The steel gate and the cost of numbing pain
 18:23 - Allowing grief instead of just talking about it
 20:32 - Ordinary moments that become extraordinary after loss
 23:10 - A Coast Guard friend stands watch from afar
 26:52 - Why functioning is not the same as being okay
 29:13 - What it means to stand watch for someone
 32:17 - Stop chasing what is not available
 34:30 - Cleaning house: relationships, guilt, and old identities
 35:52 - Learning how to live, not just survive
 36:58 - Joy is not betrayal for grieving parents
 39:28 - Seeing your own colors in the hardest season
 41:19 - What your worst season may be revealing
 44:23 - Caring enough to notice and stay
 45:41 - The lesson behind the quote: grief, loyalty, resilience
 47:35 - Final encouragement for anyone in survival mode
 48:58 - How to continue the conversation and support the work
 54:19 - Let someone else stand watch for you

Notable quotes

“Survival mode isn’t strength. It looks like strength from the outside, but it isn’t.”

“Functioning and okay are not the same thing.”

“The worst time of your life may reveal the true colors of everyone, but it also gives you the opportunity to decide what colors you want to carry forward.”

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Military mental health, suicide warning signs, and how to get help

Lori Kendall opens with a direct, personal conversation about military mental health and why the hardest topics need to be spoken about plainly. She focuses on what warning signs can look like, how suicide risk can hide behind “functioning,” and what service members, families, and command can do before a crisis hits.This episode is a resource-driven discussion for military members and families, with special attention to the Coast Guard, the Brandon Act, Military OneSource, and the Kole T. Kendall Anchored Navigation Project. Lori also connects alcohol use, traumatic brain injury, repeated head impacts, and isolation to the larger mental health picture.

Key topics

• Lori explains the show’s purpose: honest conversations about pain, grief, trauma, and military life without pretending everything is fine.
• The episode centers on military mental health, suicide risk, alcohol misuse, traumatic brain injury, and repeated head impacts.
• Lori stresses that the biggest barrier is often not whether resources exist, but whether people believe they are allowed to use them.
• She names several warning signs that can be easy to miss: 
  • anger
  • increased alcohol use
  • sleep changes
  • giving away possessions
  • reckless behavior
  • isolation
  • sudden calm or cheerfulness
  • statements like “everyone would be better off without me”
• Lori emphasizes that suicide risk does not always look like obvious despair. Sometimes the person is still working, laughing, joking, and showing up.
• She describes how multiple stressors can stack together: 
  • brain injury
  • poor sleep
  • depression
  • alcohol use
  • relationship strain
  • financial stress
  • chronic pain
  • loneliness
• Lori frames asking for help as responsibility, not weakness, and says no one should have to “earn” mental health care by reaching a crisis point.
• She discusses the Brandon Act as a way for service members to request a mental health evaluation through their chain of command.
• She gives practical guidance for service members, spouses, and family members on when and how to reach out, including speaking to command, chaplains, medical providers, and trusted support people.
• The Coast Guard gets special focus because of its unique missions, isolation, remote assignments, and the need for unit-level family and peer support.
• Lori closes by urging listeners to notice changes, ask direct questions, and act early rather than waiting until someone is in immediate danger.

Timestamps

00:00 - Lori introduces the show’s mission: honest conversations about hard things
 01:28 - Military mental health, suicide, alcohol, and traumatic brain injury enter the conversation
 03:17 - Why “resources are available” is not enough
 04:30 - Crisis support numbers and when to use them
 05:54 - Stop seeing the uniform before the human being
 08:08 - Chronic pain, grief, loneliness, and other hidden risk factors
 11:09 - Why asking for help is responsible, not disloyal
 13:07 - Suicide risk does not always look like obvious despair
 14:17 - Common warning signs families and peers can miss
 18:32 - Risk factors stack, but they do not equal predictions
 20:08 - How connected stressors create a system breakdown
 24:36 - Why an injured brain changes the conversation
 29:23 - Compassion and boundaries can exist together
 31:39 - Alcohol as part of the larger equation
 35:08 - No one gets extra points for suffering silently
 36:13 - Practical resources for Coast Guard members and military families
 39:31 - How the Brandon Act supports self-advocacy
 42:03 - Why Coast Guard isolation makes peer support critical
 45:01 - Why both professional and peer support matter
 50:40 - Military mental health follows families home
 52:09 - High performers can still be struggling
 55:21 - Returning to the injured brain and unanswered questions
 60:50 - Direct message to the service member who feels alone
 62:42 - A message to spouses, parents, siblings, and friends
 67:10 - Pay attention, ask, listen, connect, stay
 68:50 - What to say when you do not know what else to say

Notable quotes

“You deserve support before you deserve the crisis.”

“You do not have to fall apart publicly to deserve help privately.”

“You don’t have to wait until someone is suicidal to care.”

Action items

• If you are in immediate danger or thinking about suicide, call or text 988.
• Service members and veterans can use the Military Crisis Line by calling 988 and pressing 1, or texting 838255.
• Military OneSource: 1-800-342-9647
• Save your support options before a crisis happens.
• If you are struggling, talk to: 
  • a medical provider
  • a chaplain
  • your command
  • Military OneSource
  • the Kole T. Kendall Anchored Navigation Project
  • the Mikey Foundation
• If you are a spouse, parent, sibling, or friend, speak up when you notice changes in sleep, mood, drinking, isolation, or behavior.
• If you do not know what to say, start with: “I’m here. I see you. You’re not alone.”

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Awareness alone does not save lives - prevention starts with the conversations we are willing to have before a crisis ever arrives. 

Lori delivers a deeply personal and urgent episode about moving from suicide awareness to real-world action, especially for military families, service members, veterans, and anyone who loves someone carrying pain in silence. After opening the season with the reality of grief, trauma, and the hidden battle many service members face, Lori goes further here by sharing what prevention actually looks like: recognizing subtle warning signs, asking direct questions, building a circle of support, and using resources before someone reaches a breaking point. She speaks from lived experience after losing her son, Petty Officer Third Class Kole T. Kendall of the United States Coast Guard and explains why the strongest people are often the ones carrying the heaviest burdens.

You'll discover:

• Why suicide prevention cannot stop at September or any awareness month

• The warning signs people miss, including the quiet, “I’m fine” version of crisis

• How to “rally the troops” around someone in danger without making them carry it alone

• Why asking, “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” does not plant the idea

• How connection, follow-through, and staying present can open the door to hope

• What grief and trauma really look like after loss, including the hidden ways they reshape parenting, relationships, and daily life

Lori also tackles the hard questions families often face but rarely get answered: Where do you go for help? What happens if you’re active duty, single, or afraid to tell command? What if you need support before everything falls apart? She points listeners to resources like 988, the Veterans Crisis Line, the Brandon Act, and the Kole T. Kendall Anchored Navigation Project, while reminding us that help should be accessible long before emergency hits.This episode is a powerful reminder that prevention is everyone’s responsibility, that grief changes us but does not have to define us, and that one caring conversation can create the space someone needs to stay. Essential listening for military families, first responders, caregivers, advocates, and anyone who wants to help someone through the battle no one sees.

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Show Notes

In this episode of The Real and Rooted Podcast, Lori Kendall opens Season 2 by sharing the personal and emotional journey that shaped this new chapter. She reflects on stepping away to care for her mental health, process grief, and rebuild, setting the tone for a season focused on deeper listening, healing, and growth. The episode centers on “the battle no one sees” — the invisible struggles many service members and veterans carry home with them. Lori discusses military suicide, the unique challenges faced by Coast Guardsmen, and the complexities of grief, identity, and transition after service. She emphasizes that these conversations are not about statistics alone, but about real people, families, and names.

Key themes include:

•  The hidden impact of grief and mental health struggles
•  The unique stressors of Coast Guard service
•  Why military suicide is more complex than many people realize
•  The importance of community, connection, and asking direct questions
•  How remembrance and prevention both matter

Lori also challenges the idea that suicide loss should be excluded from remembrance and argues that honoring these lives does not diminish combat loss. Instead, it recognizes another kind of sacrifice and another battle fought in silence. Her message is clear: awareness is not enough. Action, support, and honest conversation save lives. The episode closes with a call to check on the people who seem strongest, stay present, and help build the kind of community that can protect and support those still here.

Highlights

• Season 2 begins with a deeper focus on grief and healing
• Lori shares the invisible realities of military and veteran suicide
• The Coast Guard’s unique risks and reporting gaps are explored
• The episode calls for community action, connection, and support
• A powerful reminder: every life saved is another story continued

Resources Mentioned

• Department of Defense military suicide reporting
• VA veteran suicide reporting

Call to Action

If this conversation resonated with you, download, listen, and share the episode. Most importantly, check in on someone who may be struggling — because it takes a community to save a life.

Support the show

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Support the show

Visit Missing Pieces The Final Salute Group on Facebook

Real & Rooted Podcast

Missing Pieces Book Order 

The Kole T. Kendall Anchored Navigation Project

This special Mother’s Day episode dives into the layered emotions of motherhood—love, grief, resilience, and renewal. Lori shares her personal journey and insights on how grief reshapes us and why taking mental resets is vital for growth and healing.

Key topics:

•  The duality of Mother’s Day — celebration and loss
•  How grief reorganizes the architecture of our lives and identities
•  The importance of mental resets as survival tools in motherhood
•  The concept of “missing pieces” and how they refine rather than define us
•  Redefining strength through honesty, pause, and resilience
•  The evolving nature of motherhood and identity at the shoreline
•  Practical ways to embrace resets: asking for help, setting boundaries, forgiving oneself
•  The significance of integrating grief and honoring the past while building the future
•  The power of choosing to move forward differently—not backward

 Timestamps: 

00:00 - Introduction to the layered feelings of Mother’s Day

00:12 - The reality behind the idealized Mother’s Day 

00:45 - Grief’s impact on life and identity 

01:17 - Surviving and adapting after loss 

01:57 - The silence and gaps in sacred spaces 

02:28 - What happens when the pillar of strength cracks 

02:51 - Mothering while evolving and mental resets as essential tools 

03:21 - Reflecting on personal growth and change through motherhood 

03:50 - The importance of mental health and self-care 

04:37 - Making space for grief and loss 

05:08 - The shoreline metaphor: grief, motherhood, growth 

05:58 - How each child witnesses a different version of mothering 

06:28 - The ongoing evolution of motherhood over the years 

07:12 - Resistance to resets and embracing water over concrete 

07:43 - Redefining strength: honesty, pause, and healing 

08:16 - The transformative power of pieces falling away 

09:14 - Grief and love coexistence 

09:33 - Facing the terrifying truth of change 

10:01 - The promise of resilience and forging new paths 

10:43 - Honoring internal struggles while continuing to evolve 

11:10 - Encouragement for mothers feeling overwhelmed 

11:40 - Practical steps for mental resets: asking for help, boundaries, forgiveness

12:37 - Redefining strength—inner resilience and honesty 

13:20 - Moving from memory to integration after profound loss 

13:36 - The importance of evolution and the continual process of healing 

14:07 - Acceptance that not all pieces will return 

14:40 - Carrying the past, honoring the present, building the future 

15:08 - Celebrating the resilient, honest, and brave mother 

15:42 - The significance of ongoing resets and continuous growth 

16:29 - Shifting the focus from why to who we are becoming 

16:42 - Motherhood as a shoreline that shifts and reshapes 

17:01 - Embracing the emotional spectrum of Mother’s Day 

17:43 - Encouragement to share the message of reset and renewal 

18:13 - Closing thoughts and gratitude

Resources & Links:

•  Book: Missing Pieces by Lori Kendall 

 Connect with Lori:

• Facebook

 Remember, motherhood and grief are ongoing journeys. Embrace each reset as a step toward becoming more whole and authentic.

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In this episode of the Real and Rooted podcast, Lori shares a heartfelt reflection on the quiet moments of change—those shifts that often go unnoticed but profoundly impact our lives. Tune in to explore how recognizing these subtle signals can lead to alignment and growth.

Main Topics:

•  The significance of unnoticed moments that signal transformation

• Differentiating success on the outside from internal alignment

• The emotional weight of work environments and unspoken pressures

• The decision to leave what no longer serves us and embracing new chapters

• Self-awareness as a tool for recognizing outgrown roles and shifting identities

• The importance of patience and grounding when transitioning between pursuits

• How to hold space for both success and misalignment simultaneously

• Preparing for what comes next without rushing into the next opportunity

Timestamps: 

00:00 - Introduction: noticing the moments that don't match expectations
 00:18 - The quiet realization of change and the importance of space
 00:40 - The story of leaving a beloved role and reactions from others
 01:00 - Recognizing internal disconnect versus external success
 01:27 - The weight of unspoken pressures in work environments
 01:50 - How leadership perceives and sometimes ignores underlying issues
 02:23 - The moment of internal realization: letting go of carry-over stress
 02:54 - The emotional toll of pressure and the choice to release it
 03:22 - The importance of self-awareness in identifying outgrown roles
 03:52 - Addressing masking emotions and the desire to just be oneself
 04:15 - Reflecting on the transition and preparing for what's next
 04:30 - Recognizing successes alongside feelings of misalignment
 04:55 - The necessity of closing chapters before starting new ones
 05:24 - Embracing uncertainty and excitement for future growth
 05:39 - Practical encouragement: reflect on the past week and what to carry forward
 05:59 - Closing thoughts and anticipation for the next conversation

Resources & Links:

• Book: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Connect with Lori:

• Facebook

• Missing Pieces

Note: Walks through the process of tuning into subtle signs of change and encourages patience and compassion during transitions. Perfect for anyone feeling stuck or at a crossroads, seeking to honor their internal rhythm over external expectations.

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Living Between Two Worlds: Grief, Connection, and Moving Forward

In this heartfelt episode of The Real and Rooted podcast, Lori Kendall shares her deeply personal journey of navigating grief after the loss of her child, Kole. She explores the emotional space between past memories and future hopes, emphasizing the importance of grace, connection, and carrying loved ones forward in many forms.

Key Topics:

•  The emotional landscape of grief and living between two worlds

• How community and space foster healing during difficult times

• Practical ways to honor loved ones and keep their memory alive

• The significance of self-compassion and understanding in grief

• Recognizing and embracing the duality of love and loss

• Moving forward with intention while carrying loved ones in heart

• The impact of vulnerability and authentic connection in healing

• Tools for grounding during emotional crises

Timestamps:
00:50 - Introduction: The importance of facing grief authentically
1:21 - The concept of living between two worlds after loss
2:05 - How identity shifts after grief—what remains and what changes
3:05 - The power of community and space to process grief
4:51 - Sharing Kole’s story: struggles and moments of pride
6:34 - The significance of witnessing moments of pride and loss
8:50 - The importance of giving grace to oneself and others during grief
9:36 - Deciding to step away from a familiar environment to heal
11:23 - Living in parallel realities—the external world vs. internal experience
12:25 - Being present in grief while remaining connected to love
14:07 - Reframing the idea of moving forward—integrating the loved ones we carry
15:40 - The power of safe spaces to grieve and feel seen
16:32 - Questions for self-reflection: who allows you to be real?
17:28 - The importance of keeping loved ones’ names and stories alive
18:35 - Personal rituals and symbols to honor Kole’s memory
19:18 - Embracing the ongoing presence of loved ones in daily life
20:14 - Focusing on the next right step in moments of overwhelming emotion
21:32 - Grounding techniques to manage grief’s intensity
22:08 - Living more in the moment post-loss, less planning ahead
23:15 - Carrying loved ones with us—music, photos, shared moments
24:19 - Challenges of fully living after loss and honoring their memory
25:16 - Resources and support for navigating loss and military transitions
26:16 - The ongoing journey of carrying loved ones into the future
27:36 - The importance of support and being space-holders for those grieving
28:12 - Honoring the balance of strength and vulnerability in grief
29:17 - Closing thoughts: embracing the non-linear nature of grief and love

Resources & Links:

• The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown

• Supporting Grief and Loss Resources

• Military Transition Resources

Connect with Lori:

• Facebook

• Website

Keep in mind that grief is non-linear. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and every step, no matter how small, is part of healing.

Support the show

Visit Missing Pieces The Final Salute Group on Facebook

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