This week, I rant for 100 hours about Bethenny Frankel’s war against the Kardashians, Sanya gets her I-U-DICK-IN-ME removed, Peter is high and letting it all hang out, and the Beverly Hills women continue to fight about Instagram.

This week, we talk about the disgusting beasts on RHOBH, the absolute gem that is RHUGT, and why we need Phaedra back on RHOA ASAP.

This week, everyone is gaslighting Drew, Marlo and I are staying single, and Sutton gums down her dinner.

This week, we still hate Drew’s husband, we love stoner Jen, and we never know how to feel about Sutton.

This week, we talk about a trend on TikTok I wish I didn’t know about, crying during the Kardashians, why Lisa Rinna is the devil in disguise(s), Shannon’s abundant neck skin, Joe deep-throating a dildo, and more!

(I also want to formally apologize for pronouncing “Nicole” like “Nicool” - I am from the tristate area pls understand!)

We’re back to celebrate Marge Sr.’s 75th birthday, reminisce about all the times Nonna pulled our hair in the kitchen, and re-live special moments from a very special christening.

This week, we talk about how the ladies of RHOM are NOT, in fact, a fetish, how Shane is definitely not good in bed, and the raw chicken B-roll in RHOSLC.

I’m baaaackk. Miss me? Forget I existed? Perf. This week, we talk about my unhealthy obsession with family-oriented TV, the disgusting men of OC, the mysterious past of the first gay housewife, and what a POS Mary is!

This week, we talk about Jameela Jamil’s bizarre habit of repeatedly telling stories about being chased by swarms of bees, Mary’s Louis Vuitton-sponsored clean-up mission, and Teresa’s angelic singing voice.

This week, Nicki Minaj wreaks absolute havoc on the set of the RHOP reunion, Lisa really “appreciates” that Jen isn’t white, and Ramona clings to Kyle like a marsupial.