REASONABLE BEEF

YES, CHILD! Austin Powers turns 20. We hit a lot of material in this one; Clippy, Super Mario Alex Jones, childhood shame, catch phrases, modern-day Mike Myers, questionable-borderline-pretty-much-absolutely offensive accents, Master of Disguise, SNL feuds, Shrek (of course), Anime (again), Family Guy, and comedies you aren't allowed to enjoy. If any of that interests you, come on in!

Outtro Music: half circle - Ghostal

Legion, Logan and Listener E-mails in this smooth bonus beef. Bonus Beef is a small, personal wrap-up episode in which the hosts may or may not be under some kind of influence. These episodes will come monthly EXCLUSIVELY for Patreon subscribers, so if you liked this one be sure to hop on the BeefTrain.

Beef Boys™ assemble once again to each play devil's advocate for a rotten movie, and shit on a fresh one. Shit on a Fresh One was also the name of my high school band

What to expect: Dick joke, star wars, Peter jackson, fast 8 review. Beef 101. We have a Gr8 D8 with our M8 @ryblew as we Deb8 F8's F8.

Beef in the Shell (taco).

NetLady @charley_feldman infiltrates the Bovine Compound to steal secrets and jewels but gets caught up in a conversation about a middling movie. IN THIS EPISODE: anime talk, poop taste, merits of adapting cult movies, and the Owls of Ga'Hoole.

SABAN'S BEEF RANGERS (2017)

Beautiful, cool, yet outcasted teenager Cameron Sun grabs a handful of warm meat from a crevice in a mountain side, then plummets into twenty feet of magically-floating beef grease, where he emerges on the deck of a bovine spacecraft, skin glistening and eyes burning. A robotic jewish stereotype named Dom waddles over and leads him to a wall of ever-changing tenderloins, each strip of medium-rare meat moving in harmony to create the illusion of a large disappointed face called Tim. It is here that Cam must learn the meaning of being reasonable, to activate the beef matrix and beef into a Beef Ranger. It's beefin' time.

Growing up, I used to frequent the boardwalk of Ocean City, NJ. Near Jilly's arcade is a mini golf course

where two animatronic gorillas in Hawaiian shirts sit in a replica Helicopter and mouth the words to "Under the Boardwalk". ONLY that song. Never another. They had a tough time keeping employees for this reason. Also the gorillas were drunks. Anyways, here's Kong: Skull Island with @sammypaul!

uh... hey so @thehazelhayes patched into B.E.E.F HQ to address the rumors that she has a Lego-Style raised circle under her hair.

Let's just say she... probably won't return as a guest. Or speak to me again.

~~~WARNING XTRA THICC BEEF~~~

You know the rules: We make a Fresh movie Rotten and a Rotten movie Fresh. When we do these Defenders episodes, I fill my room with sand and rent props and costumes from the Ben Hurr remake. We made @thistim wear chain-mail, hold a scimitar and then have a thoughtful and humorous conversation about the Oscars, musicals, faithful adaptations, powers, the fleeting staying power of CGI heavy movies and then immediately Van Helsing.

Fellow South Jersey refugee @nikkiblackcat joins the beef to discuss a mean, mean movie. Later, we uncover M. Night's true name and don't discuss the Swiss Cheese Masturbator.