Send Cathy a text:)

One of the biggest regrets,  I see caregivers make is declining time with a friend.  Your friend calls or texts you and wants to get together.  You want to get out and you're yearning for someone else but you say no.

You feel guilty, sad, frustrated, and/or angry that you can’t go.  

Top reasons why caregivers decline:  

1.  You don’t have any time.   
2. You're embarrassed about how you let yourself go.   
3. You can’t leave due to quarantining order for your loved one.  
4. You can’t afford it.
5. You are depressed.    

Prior to caregiving your friendships meant so much to you and now, it’s a thing of the past.  Don’t you miss those fun girl chats, laughs and deep conversations.  Or maybe you miss getting out and shopping or going to a movie and making new memories.    You most likely are grieving your friends.  

Reality is that you can’t go back to the way it was. Life has changed but what if you could find a way to enjoy your friend again.  Spend some time together without it causes extra stress or upsetting your caregiving.  

Can you really afford to take time away.  Is that really going to help you?   Is this really what you want and need right now?  

I see most caregivers want to live their life with friendships while caring for their loved one.  It requires them to prioritize the activities in their life while still going through the process   

Can you continue to stay isolated and carry all of this alone and never fuel your soul by meeting up with your friend.   

The real question is, if you continue to say no, what are the impacts?   

Tips to become start socially interacting again:  

• Being aware
• Look for things to do that are free
• Do something inside your home.
• Be open to kindness of your friends.   
• Talk with your loved one.
• Simplify your social life right.  
• Don’t hold yourself to high expectations.   

You don’t have to feel lonely.   You don’t have to sacrifice friendships.  You deserve breaks.  You deserve to have some fun without guilt.  You deserve to laugh.

I hope you think about connecting with your friend this week.   Talk to him/her and say I want to try this again.  I know I have turned you down many times but I’m trying to figure this caregiver life or this new normal out.   Explain to them that caregiving and my other responsibilities take up almost all my time, but I want to continue our friendship.   We may have to do things differently for awhile and I hope you are ok with it.   

Then share your needs, limitations and wants.    You’ll be amazed and maybe even surprised how your friendship may flourish, as well as your health and well-being.    

This caregiving journey isn’t easy but when you focus on focus on fill your cup with small bits each day, you can find those moments of joy.   

DM and tell me if you reached out to your friend or better yet, take a photo of getting out with your friend and tag me at @cathylynnvan

Catch all the show notes at https://www.cathylvan.com/episode104

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