By the time I was 42, I couldn't manage what was going on inside of me and what was going on outside of me at the same time. I had debilitating anxiety that drove me to isolate and create wedges in my relationships. I was never telling the truth. I was afraid to go to the store, to the kid's bus stop, to work, home, etc. I never told anyone because I didn't think anyone would understand. I thought I was unique. This idea kept me sick for a very long time.

I couldn’t manage my life without drinking, but I couldn’t manage my drinking. I made excuses for why I couldn’t, wouldn’t, or shouldn’t. The only times I said yes were for a refill. I wore a costume of confidence until it no longer fit me. When I finally ran out of excuses for why not, I decided why not, and I just did.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and on ⁠YouTube⁠!

Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

#YouAreSpecial #StopMakingExcuses #OvercomingAddiction #BreakingTheCycle #MentalHealthMatters #SobrietyJourney #AnxietyRecovery #HonestLiving #NoMoreExcuses #RecoveryIsPossible #FaceYourFears #SelfAwareness #AlcoholismRecovery #TakeControl #HealingJourney

I woke up this morning feeling bad, and by 2:30pm I was so happy that I had to force myself to slow down and rest. (Seriously, you can hear it in my podcast episode.) When I woke up my head hurt which is normal. I thought 'ohh yeah, I had a stroke.' This is also my new normal. Then, I put my feet on the ground and got out of bed before I could think another thought. I turned off my "wanter" and did the next right thing—I got up.

I let Autumn and Boris out of there “dens”, and they both made me smile in their own ridiculously cute ways. Ya see, if I hadn't put my feet on the ground moments earlier, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to smile. The tiniest acts of surrender give me the opportunity to feel joy. 

As an alcoholic and stroke survivor, I couldn’t find a new way of life until I surrendered in each situation. I couldn’t grow until I accepted each. I couldn't heal if I continued to tighten my grip on what couldn't be.

I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and see myself losing color, weight, muscle, and the life in my eyes. I don’t ever want look at her in the mirror again. And, I don't want anyone else to feel the way I did. I don't want to lose another friend. So I talk about it in my podcast.

Surrendering to my alcoholism was practice for surrendering to my disability seven years later. Surrender doesn’t mean I gave up. I let go and trusted that others can help me.

I have a healthy fear of who I used to be. Surrendering was the bravest thing I’ve ever done.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and on ⁠YouTube⁠!

Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

#DailySurrender #FindingJoy #StartTheDayRight #MentalHealthJourney #OvercomingStruggles #SmallVictories #GratitudeInRecovery #PositiveMindset #RecoveryJourney #ResilienceInAction

I hate to admit it, but if we had a conversation before April 28th, 2016, I was probably thinking more about alcohol than listening to you. It’s humiliating to say, but it's true. Before sobriety, I couldn’t be fully present unless I had a drink in my hand. Drinking controlled every thought, I didn’t want to admit it. But once I finally did, the weight of that constant secret obsession lifted.

That’s when the real work of recovery began, and it’s work I still do every day because I never want to go back to that place. The anxiety and the physical tremors used to paralyze me. Today, I don’t have to sit in that fear and anxiety anymore. Sobriety has completely changed the atmosphere in my mind.

My old mental default was a constant echo of, “I need a drink. Where’s my drink?” Now, my mental default is peaceful silence. That’s not to say I don’t overthink things A LOT, but I have the tools to practice letting go. Fear and anxiety no longer control me, but it is a lifetime job.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and on ⁠YouTube⁠!

Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

#SobrietyJourney #OvercomingAddiction #RecoveryWork #MentalHealthMatters #LivingSober #FreedomFromFear #LettingGo #BreakingTheCycle #PeacefulMind #OvercomingAnxiety #AlcoholismRecovery #OneDayAtATime #RecoveryTools #SobrietyWins

What makes the best moments in our lives so special is that we don’t see them coming. Unfortunately, our worst moments can result from the same. This morning, I heard a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson: “The years teach much which the days never know.”

There have been several times in my life when I felt like what was in front of me was more than I could handle. The thought of never drinking again seemed impossible. The idea of my life moving forward after losing a loved one felt unbearable. And the thought of never seeing the world move the way I used to felt too heavy.

Handling something difficult doesn’t have to mean you put on your boxing gloves. It’s simply what you do next. Sometimes handling the hard stuff just means getting up in the morning. Sometimes being brave is opening the window shade when we’d rather stay in the dark. And sometimes handling something is sharing with someone else who will walk through it with you.

It's the small, seemingly insignificant acts that show our greatest strength.

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#MoreThanICanHandle #EmotionalResilience #MentalHealthMatters #FindingStrength #OneDayAtATime #OvercomingStruggles #RecoveryJourney #SelfCompassion #YouAreNotAlone #LifeChallenges #StayStrong #BraveEveryDay #SobrietyJourney #HealingProcess

So, I was walking down the street in my neighborhood on the sidewalk and approaching me were three women walking side by side yapping with each other. As they got closer, I realized that they had no intension of making room for me to walk by. As a result, I stepped into the street to go around. How often does other people's behavior make absolutely no sense to you? That's what I talk about in today's episode. In retrospect, I could'a played chicken to see if they'd just walk right into me. 🤣

I'm learning that trying to make sense of someone else's behavior is likely to drive me crazy. When I look at other's behavior through the lens of my life experiences, it doesn't make sense. I have to remember that we are all students in life, and no one has it all figured out. In today's episode, I talk about giving others the same grace that has been given to us. We are all imperfect humans stumbling through life.

I've spent my time in sobriety learning how to forgive myself for my imperfections and learning how to forgive others for theirs. Now it's time to give grace and forgiveness in real time, moment to moment, when I feel my tolerance of others evaporating. I tell myself that everyone is doing the best they can with what they've been given. I'll never be able to fully understand someone else's behavior that is based on their life experiences. Instead, I'm better equipped to practice being gentle with myself and gentle with others. Some days I get it right, and some days I don’t.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and on ⁠YouTube⁠!

Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

#RecoveryDaily #GraceAndTolerance #LoveAndForgiveness #SobrietyJourney #MentalHealth #PrayerAndMeditation #SelfCompassion #PersonalGrowth #RecoveryPodcast #AARecovery

You know that feeling when you're late, and there is absolutely nothing under your control that's going to get you there on time? You start panicking, sweating, and getting angry at whatever is blocking your path. You want life to move at your pace. In recovery, I'm learning how to move at life’s pace, rather than trying to move life at mine.

In today's episode, I talk about how a trip to the DMV showed me that when things don't go as expected, I expend a lot less energy if I let go. Go figure! I learned by the simple act of shutting my eyes how to let go. But, it all starts with that decision to turn it over when you want to grip it tighter.

I'm learning that letting go is not just a daily practice, it's moment by moment. Self-sufficiency led me to hit walls over and over again. I was unwilling to give up control. I was angry, frustrated, anxious, scared, panicked, sad, desperate. I thought I was self-sufficient. But it's clear to me today that it was self-INsufficiency. The only way forward for me was to let go and ask for help.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and on ⁠YouTube⁠!

Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

#RecoveryDaily #Step3 #LetGoAndLetGod #SobrietyJourney #ProgressNotPerfection #TrustTheProcess #AARecovery #MentalHealth #SoberLiving #HigherPower #AddictionRecovery

You know that person in your life who looks at their cell phone while you're trying to have a conversation with them? It drives me crazy!

When you listen to someone talking, are you really listening or are you listening to respond? I had a long running joke with a friend (you know who you are 😘) where we agreed that while the other one of us was talking, we were thinking about how we were going to respond. It always made me laugh because that was exactly what I was doing. So, I was overjoyed when she called us out on it!

What I've been practicing this year is listening without the need to influence the conversation. When I do this, I tend to listen with my ears, eyes, and heart.

If I allow what someone is saying to be louder than my own self-talk, I'm a good listener. My challenge is quieting that that hamster running on its wheel inside my head.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and on ⁠YouTube⁠!

Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

#ActiveListening #ListenWithHeart #MindfulListening #ListeningSkills #BePresent #CommunicationMatters #DeepListening #ConsciousCommunication #ListenToUnderstand #QuietTheMind #PodcastEpisode #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipTips #EmotionalIntelligence #SelfAwareness #RecoveryDailyPodcast #PodcastCommunity #ListeningWithLove

Remember what a dial tone sounds like? How 'bout a busy signal? Those classic sounds from the 80s seem to be long gone, and it all started with call waiting. Remember that?! Texting has become my excuse for not picking up the phone and making a call—using my voice. These days I’ll think, “they’re probably busy. I don’t wanna bother them.” But that’s just another excuse to not connect with people.

Have you considered that as much as it helps you to pick up the phone and reach out to someone, you are helping that someone as well? Just the act of making the call, even if the person doesn’t answer, is a fantastic way of breaking a negative thought cycle and getting out of self. When they answer, you may have broken a negative thought cycle for them.

My self-talk is pretty loud when it says, “I don’t wanna.” It’s hard to ignore it and do the next right thing for myself. I get what I need when and where I need it when I remain willing to keep the channels of communication open and remain willing to depend on that which is outside of me. Self-sufficiency, to me, means less connection with others, and that can be dangerous for this alcoholic.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and on ⁠YouTube⁠!

Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

#BreakTheCycle #MentalHealthMatters #RecoveryJourney #StayConnected #SelfCare #ReachOut #MindfulLiving #PositiveThinking #ConnectionOverIsolation #RecoveryDailyPodcast #PersonalGrowth #MentalWellness #SupportSystem #HealthyMindset #TalkItOut

Today I’m reflecting on how my ambitions have evolved over the years, through my drunken delusions and into sobriety and stroke recovery. When I was drinking, I set these unrealistic goals for myself, fueled by the need for acceptance by others I admired and the desire to be great. I thought that success was being the best. Alcohol gave me the illusion that I was chasing my dreams, but I wasn’t moving forward in my life at all. I was stuck in a cycle of drinking to dream and not doing the hard work required to grow. In fact, I was filled with debilitating anxiety.

Sobriety has given me clarity to define what’s truly important in my life and for what I am willing to do the work. I still dream big, but now those dreams are grounded in reality (most of the time). I think there will always be a part of me that wants to be the best...the best podcaster, the best flea market flipper, the best puppy mama, etc. I think it makes me work harder and smarter.

I’m learning to let go of the weight of my past and focus on what I can achieve today. In recovery, I’ve found that real success comes when I show up for myself every morning, do the next right thing (even when I don't feel like it), do the hard work, and let go of what doesn’t serve me.

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#SoberAmbition #RecoveryJourney #LetGoAndGrow #SobrietySuccess #HardWorkPaysOff #MentalHealthMatters #SelfGrowth #OvercomingAddiction #PersonalGrowth #RecoveryDailyPodcast #FocusOnWhatsImportant #AlcoholismRecovery #MindfulAmbition

I felt alone in a crowded room. Have you ever felt that way? I was thinking today of those memories I have of feeling lonely when I was in middle school, high school, and college. I had lots of friends growing up, but I never felt like I measured up, that I was as pretty, and that I fit in quite as well as everybody else seemed to.

When I was introduced to alcohol, I became a continuously seeping volcano. The more I drank, the more destructive my self-talk. There was this "happy place" I could get to if I drank just the right amount where my problems didn't disappear (unfortunately), but I just didn't care anymore. The more I drank, I would surpass that comfort zone into an erupting volcano of depression. The very thing that was taking away the pain and discomfort was ultimately killing me.

I drank every day from my late teens until I was 42 years old with very few exceptions. In today's episode, I talk about what it was like to start going to AA. If you've ever wondered what it's like, listen to this episode.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and on ⁠YouTube⁠!

Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠[email protected]⁠.

#AlcoholRecovery #SobrietyJourney #AAExperience #MentalHealthAwareness #Loneliness #OvercomingAddiction #RecoveryDailyPodcast #HealingJourney #SelfWorth