Red Team Reviews

Bah Humbug, listeners - it's time for a Christmas Carol round up. Out of the litany of options, we chose to meet our Muppet quota with The Muppet Christmas Carol, and then scratch our heads through the Netflix pop-ified animated remake of the 1970s movie musical Scrooge (yes, all of those words are necessary to describe this), and the absolute turducken of a movie that is Will Ferrell & Ryan Reynold's Spirited. We then proceeded to pitch every other possible better adaptation. Join us for Muppet Jesus, Hugh Jackman & Michael Bolton vocals, and Patrick Paige: man whose voice is so low it literally fucks.

Listen. We were having a good run with this segment, watching some shows, bopping along, doing a fan survey every week. But then, Danny McBride happened. As Danny McBride often does. But still, we thought "Maybe we will be pleasantly surprised. It won't happen, but maybe." All of this to say that this week TJ and Trevor destroy the hopes of a dear friend by reviewing the first season of HBO's The Righteous Gemstones. I would normally note that it won’t be pretty, but it’s a Danny McBride project, pretty was never even on the menu. Instead, this week’s menu includes a stir-crazy TJ fresh off his meds, too-accurate youth pastor energy, too many/much bj’s/BJ, and a waste of a perfectly good John Goodman.

FIRE! FIRE! EVERYONE GETS PAID TO SHOUT FIRE! Welcome to our little shoehorned edition of Dissin' Franchise, where we're looking at the masterpiece-turned-Johnny Depp-circle-jerk that is the Pirates of the Caribbean original trilogy. Despite a good run, Trevor's attempts of emulating Luis from Ant-Man are about to go downhill very quickly. Join us for Salty Skarsgard, starfish face paint, flat earth confirmation, and - of course - sea turtles, mate.

Find us on IG @redteampod!

Welcome back to the final episode of our X-cursion, where we find out how two men who regularly go to therapy react to the patriarchal shitstorm that are the solo “Wolverine” “films” (and we use those terms loosely). Ya know, the one where Hugh Jackman shows us Logan’s origin by… Skipping the actual origin. Or the one where Hugh Jackman punches a Japanese guy for… Speaking Japanese. Or the one where Hugh Jackman donates sperm. Join us for nice fridgable families, According to Jim flashbacks, sexy lamps in fridges, long term character assassination, Plays With Squirrels, and will.I.am playing a… Cowboy? For some reason?

Welcome back to the X-Men movie tour, where the characters are randomly plucked and the timelines don't matter. We're taking a look at the reboot-sequel trilogy (yes, there are only three, shush) because we're just so darn fascinated with that thing that happened between Professor X and Magneto during the Cold War. And how they never seem to age… Join us for the start of lovely fridge-able families, Charles "Erik No!" Xavier, Erik "Fuck Mystique" Lensherr, and my sister-friend Raven from skül. And Hugh Jackman is here again. Because of course he is.

The Hollywood executives are on their coke bender again. Welcome to another ill-advised superhero three episode arc where TJ and Trevor first tackle the original X-Men trilogy of the early 2000s. Cue the trenchcoats and black leather jumpsuits. It's hard to tell who is the protagonist, but then again our beloved characters are hardly recognisable anyway, especially when they make everyone American and way too tall. Join us for Magneto's action figures (I mean minions), Charles "Not All Men" Xavier, the thorough cucking of Scott Summers, and problems only a flash drive can solve.

Yeah yeah yeah, so we ran into a little scheduling problem and now we're doing Reject or Renew early. We’re fine! Everything is fine. Don’t worry about it. Returning to the task at hand, we dive back into the nocturnal misadventures of the no-parents batboy, by finishing off the first mondo sized season of Batman: The Animated Series. The sheer number of episodes, the BBC is shaking. Join us for fall girlies, washed up old men, and head-cannon endings that you can’t take away from us, it’s better this way!

Who you gonna call? A new screenwriter. It's week two of October and we're taking on the bafflingly still relevant Ghostbusters franchise with the 1984 original, the SNL saturated 2016 "reboot", and the surprisingly enjoyable Ghostbusters: Afterlife. At the end of the day, at least they didn't give it to Joss Whedon. Join us for topical Olivia Wilde, Paul Rudd's stock in Basken-Robbins, the blessing that is Kate McKinnon, and the real hero of the story: the EPA.

It's October, which means it's all about the spooky - but it's also about family. We're kicking off the month with the wholesome Addams Family live action movies (there was definitely not a third...), and the excessively less wholesome Beetledeuce. Beagleflutes? Beezelgoose. Trevor cannot pronounce it anyway. Join us for spooky non-binary children, Trevor's lack of a uterus, "Christian Halloween", and a strong distrust of young Alec Baldwin. Or really any Alec Baldwin, for that matter.

Check out our IG @redteampod and visit us at redteampod.com!

It's the epic conclusion of Spider-Month, and we're not doing the Sony Villain-verse unless you're paying us! Yes, you're about to hear how well two men who love puzzles, actually, pivot when they realize they've made a mistake: today we take a precedented detour by discussing the narrative of the 2018 Insomniac Spider-Man video game, as well as the very real winner of June’s Reject or Renew draft, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. (Listen, mistakes were made, and Coupling would have been one.) Join us as we discuss the proper rituals for electric drills, gay Republicans, Tim Weaver & his wife Shadow, and Sid Meier's Civilization VI.

Follow us on IG and Twitter @redteampod.com and check out redteampod.com!