Red Team Reviews

ROLLIN AROUND AT THE SPEED OF SOUND - YOU TEACH ME AND I'LL TEACH YOU! It's time for some 90's kid nostalgia babeeeeey! Here we are, in week two of our month of video game movies, and while these are newbies in the cinema, the franchises are far from newbies in our hearts: Sonic the Hedgehog & Detective Pikachu (well, Pokémon in general, but close enough). We're here to evaluate Jim Carrey is actually acting in literally any scene he was in, and then ironically do the same for Justice Smith. Ouch, that even hurt to type. Long histories, many opinions, and lecturing overpaid executives who just... like you guys must be bad at darts because you're always missing the mark somehow. Join us as we discuss the merits of photorealistic fur, how to effectively start a new film franchise, and thank our lucky stars we did NOT get that original Sonic.

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Mammia Mia! Issa video game month! Why-a do we-a do this to our-a-selves? Because of TJ's hubris, we indeed will be covering the armpit that is the video game movie adaptation genre this month, and we figured we'd let ourselves only go up from here by starting with the absolute bottom of the barrel: Super Mario Bros. and Street Fighter. It would only be more rock bottom if we *raspberry* couldn't *raspberry* understand *raspberry* your *raspberry* accent *raspberry*.  And we can barely understand Jean-Claude Van Damme's as it is! Join us as we speculate exactly how much cocaine and how few video games 90s producers had their hands on, chuckle over the abundance of fanservice, and lament how Trevor just cannot pronounce a damn character name correctly. Also HOW DARE YOU MAKE YOSHI UGLY. (TJ here. For the record, I still thought he was cute, but I was shouted down.)

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Linkin Park was right when they asked the Transformers franchise to "give me reason" because lemme tell ya, there was none. That's right: the boys are on the SAME PAGE for once, as we EVISCERATE these military propaganda, Megan-Fox-diminishing, dumpster fires of movies. And we didn't even cover Mark Wahlberg's entries. We're closing out our second season before a long summer break with a truly abysmal watch and hilarious takes on the time capsules that are the Transformers movies (and honestly it's not extreme to think that 2007-2009 deserved better). Join us for convoluted plots that don't hold up to film theory; rejoice in the redemption of Megan Fox from the jaws of Michael Bay; elate as your Independence Day is ripped from the jaws of pro-war conservatives as we hand the movie's ass back to them like Optimus Prime does in the last two minutes of the second movie. Fuck Mudflap, fuck Skids, and fuck Wheelie, even though the last two are voiced by Spongebob. These are five hours we’ll never get back, and we're just so tired.

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Lights up on the Red Team’s Podcast, up at the break of day, and we got this Roland Schitt we gotta chase away -- it's a good old fashioned two-fer with our coverage of the newly released In the Heights movie musical, followed by our Reject or Renew segment for Schitt's Creek season one, featuring the return of the lovely Molly Burdick from Pod & Prejudice! Trevor gets to nerd out about the filming locations mere blocks away from his noisy ass apartment, Molly gets to super-fan over Dan Levy, and TJ gets to… Well, more or less just absorb it all. Join us for splitting hairs over Broadway adaptations, filmmakers getting in their own way, the debate over the Rose family's moral compass, and as we all take turns heaping love onto Stevie Budd.

Follow Molly on her podcast Pod and Prejudice, which you can find on all streaming platforms and on their social @podandprejudice! Check her out on IG @b.b.eight and Twitter @youngcornchip.

Follow us on IG and Twitter @redteampod and check out redteampod.com for our Reject or Renew options for next season! We'll be making some changes to the fan voting to give you all some more weight, so go vote!

Eyyyy babadaboopy! Pasta Ravioli! Homo-a-sexuality! Issa new-a release-ah a-da episode-ah! We're jet-setting across fictional worlds with an overview of Disney's newest animated releases with Raya & The Last Dragon and Luca (but not Cruella). You know we gotta get all gushy about a-da animation styles, miei amori! Between shipping Raya and Namaari, to the truly overt themes of Luca, we also get to continue our celebration of Pride Month! Join us as we applaud southeast Asia, unexpected heist plotlines, figure out the merits of Awkwafina's humor, engage in queer film theory (without even trying, really), and ask… "Why Is Jim Gaffigan Here?"

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Though considering Thor: The Dark World, this premise is questionable. Welcome to the sequel that's been a long time coming, where we’ll be covering the second phase of the MCU (writing this out makes them sound so much more pretentious but we love it damnit). See Trev in his element, simping for Stan Lee’s superpowered superstars, especially when he starts talking about movies that aren't even in this phase. Join us for elaborate reimaginings, decrying Thor's lack of character, praising the Russo Brothers’ magnum opus, and GOD DAMNIT JOSS, A WOMAN IS NOT A MONSTER IF SHE CAN'T HAVE KIDS WE WILL NEVER LET YOU LIVE THIS DOWN.

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Happy Pride to all our girls, gays, and theys! We, two straight men, are ill equipped to do this episode on our own, so we decided to bring some LGBTQ+ friends of the pod to pick out some films and chat: Khari Walser and Ginnie House! (A G and a B, respectively). Our guests have tee'd up two tropey bits of queer cinema for us to munch on like Chipotle's Drag Queen menu: 2015's Carol, and victim of legendary Oscars debacle, 2016's Moonlight. Join us as we cover male gaze in lesbian films, violent masculinity, and giving queer and black characters joy... but also thirsting over Janelle Monáe and Cate Blanchett because that is an all-inclusive adventure. 

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IT'S THE TAG TEAM MATCH OF THE CENTURY! IN THIS CORNER -- yeah I don't know why I thought I could keep that up. It's Trevor, I write these, and even after being subjected to an entire evening of wrestling, that is still the extent of my knowledge of the vernacular. It's June, and we've got probably one of the wildest months planned for you all. It’s also TJ's birthday this month, and as a special treat, I have agreed to watch select matches from the wild wacky world of WWE (mostly NXT if it matters to anyone) so he can share his love with me and you all, the people who don't always get his wrestling jokes. All humor aside, enjoy this very fun and special episode full of my scary-accurate intuitions on wrestling culture, hybrid Mulaney jokes, Avatar: The Last Airbender references, debate what actually counts as a weapon, and us heaping piles of dung onto Vince McMahon. (Not unlike the time they did that in 2006. Yes, they actually did that. -TJ).

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Naturally, we conclude our AAPI Heritage Month with a little Mangato-screen-adaptation. The adaptation in question being Akira, based off of the 1980's six volume manga, and let's just say... They left a whole lot out of the movie. Following our not-at-all blasphemous takes on a groundbreaking film is a refreshing look at the little show that could for our first animation entry in Reject or Renew: Cartoon Network's Inifinity Train. Join us this week for children who look like the elderly, surprise Ben Mendelsohn, motorcycles that are cooler than you’ll ever hope to be, cute AF corgis, and the duality of robot personalities just looking for a hole to call mom.

... Wait.

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Welcome to week three of AAPI Heritage month, where (and you knew we had to do it) we're tackling martial arts movies! From the instant classic Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, to the hilarious hijinks of Jackie Chan in Legend of The Drunken Master, to the frankly routine story of Fearless, we believe we’ve covered a nice range of the genre here. (Don’t worry, should we ever cover Bruce Lee, he’ll have his own episode.) Join us as we discuss what makes a good cinematic fight, how much Jet Li bores Trevor, Jackie Chan's innate charm & mastery of prop work, and how we are here for all of Michelle Yeoh and Ziyi Zhang.

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