Yeaa so who would’ve thought it wasn’t a good idea to control a submarine with a PS5 controller…also didn’t think id have to tell you but please don’t take that nuclear waste home with you :)

I know you think I'm doing drugs, but even if you shoot that directly into your veins you'll realize it's dust from a T-Rex fossil...also I will be cleaning my own towels now.

I’m not supposed to tell anyone but Iron Man is a true story…based on my dad…he said he will disintegrate bullies for me…also don’t eat in bed or ants are going to live in your ears and nest in your brain :) luv u 

Babe it's actually awesome, the cockroaches have learned to carry us around the apartment! No more walking!! And don't worry every time you show up the dishes get done! Not sure who it is but it makes it perfect for when you're here spending quality time :))

Listen...microwave popcorn every night for dinner might be the move, also next time we are at the bar let's be sure to find the bathroom and talk right in front of the door so people have to sneak by and say "excuse me" to get in...and let's also give them dirty looks for doing that!!

I promise I just barely glanced down at my phone when driving and hit that pedestrian, everyone knows a glance doesn't count! And let the record show I was also hardly even drunk!!

If you don’t set aside at least a thousand per month for DOGE then you don’t deserve to eat. Time to be smarter with your money, just invest when your parents friends at all street tell you to!!

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Hey guys! As I’m sure you can tell by the recording I’m feeling quite ill so I can’t record an episode until I’m feeling better.

Take care!

Love you all ❤️

My buddy is great guy! Other than the fact he thinks all women are worthless. But other than that he s'a stand up dude! He also collects hair and will only stare at your toes on dates, so just prepping you in case you notice your haircut looks different!

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Did your dad ever stop to think about the productivity scores at the office before his stroke?? Also, take some time to look at the email I sent regarded by failed almost engagement! Plus, why are we all talking about Lisa's dead baby when mine is alive!