Redefining Family

On this episode of Redefining Family, Jonathan first opens up about the boundaries he has had to create with his family to protect himself, which included a recent interaction with a close friend of his father's.  Jonathan then gets the chance to speak with standup comedian and LGBTQ+ activist Calvin Cato.  

Calvin first talks about his upbringing, not being exposed to the gay community as a kid and the homophobia that existed in his family of immigrant parents.   He talks about how he finally started to understand what being gay meant, his first sexual experience and then trying to reinvent himself as a straight man in college.

Calvin also shares the story of losing his father and the ways in which he did and did not come out to him before his passing.

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About Calvin Cato

Calvin S. Cato is a comedian, storyteller, and rare-times actor based in New York City. He has been heard on Sirius XM and has appeared on Oxygen, National Geographic, Netflix and a pilot for Vice Media called Emergency Black Meeting. He has performed in numerous festivals including San Francisco Sketchfest, FlameCon, Brooklyn Pride, Women In Comedy Festival, and the Gotham Storytelling Festival. In 2017, Calvin was named one of Time Out New York’s Queer Comics Of Color To Watch. Most recently he has been published in Kweendom, an anthology of queer comedic essays. He recently wrapped up hosting and producing a daily online comedy talk show on RushTix.com called The Calvin Cato Show.

On this week's episode of Redefining Family, Jonathan starts the show by opening up about his time at The Men Having Babies Conference in San Fransisco.   Jonathan then has a wonderful conversation with Erick Matos, an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and a public policy specialist with nearly a decade of experience in state and local government.

Erick opens up about what it was like growing up in a religious family in a small town, and when it was that he first realized that he was gay.  He talks about everything from the desire to be a good Christian son, to his first closeted relationship in college, to then finally deciding that he wanted to live authentically.

Erick also talks about the importance of having a close circle to support you, whether they are blood relatives or not.  And of course, how to show up for the ones you love.

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About Erick Matos

Erick Matos (he/him/his) is a public policy specialist with nearly a decade of experience in state and local government. He currently works for a public health insurance plan that provides affordable coverage to over 2 million low income Los Angeles County residents. He holds a Master’s Degree in Public Health, with a concentration in Health Services and Policy from the University of Southern California. Erick grew up in a religious family in Central California, having struggled internally for years before finally accepting his identity as a gay man. He lives in West Hollywood with his partner Jon and their beloved dog Niko. 

On this week's episode of "Redefining Family" Jonathan starts off the show by talking about how he felt like he came out later in life when he was in his 20's.  However, after talking to this week's guest Kathy Kiger, he realized that there are people that come out even later than he did, and wow, does Kathy have a story to tell.

Kathy grew up in Texas to a very religious family, and she felt as though religion was forced on her.  She felt like her whole life she was "pushing the gay down", not consciously acknowledging her true sexual preferences.  She then got married, had 4 kids, and one day she had an epiphany....she was a lesbian, and yes, she was fifty years old. 

Kathy discusses what it was like coming out to her family, and how to her surprise, several of her kids came out when she came out to them.  She then gets into what her current relationship with her ex husband and the rest of her family is like and how her life has changed for the better.

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About Kathy Kiger

Kathy Kiger is a copywriter in the holistic health space. She writes blogs, emails, and sales pages for nutritionists, dietitians, and other health professionals. Kathy has wandered the career path extensively over the years as a private flute teacher, public school educator, natural childbirth instructor, and nutritional therapist. 

Kathy was raised as an evangelical Christian and dutifully followed all the rules — from homeschooling her kids and baking her own bread to suppressing her sexual orientation for decades. 

After being married for almost 15 years, and then divorced for 10, Kathy finally had her “holy shit I’m a lesbian” day in early 2021. She is a single mom with 4 kids ages 15 - 23, many of whom are also queer.

Kathy has recently started the Better Late Than Straight blog and email digest where she shares her own insights as a late-blooming lesbian, along with resources, and the stories of other women who have embraced their queerness later in life.

https://www.betterlatethanstraight.com

On this week's  Redefining Family, Jonathan opens the episode with an update on his life, talking about finding a surrogate and unexpected twists and turns along the way.

Jonathan then brings on his amazing guest, Rev. Naomi Washington-Leapheart.  Naomi's list of accolades and accomplishments is long and ever so impressive.  However what's more impressive are Naomi's powerful messages , the way she came into her work and the beautiful life she lives today.  

We also discuss what it was like for Naomi to not just come out to her family, but to the public as well.  It was not easy, however Naomi has faced any hardship she has faced with love, wisdom and acceptance.

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About Rev. Naomi Washington-Leapheart

Naomi Washington-Leapheart, a daughter of Detroit, is an adjunct faculty member in the Theology and Religious Studies department at Villanova University.

Most recently, Naomi was the Faith Outreach Director at the National LGBTQ Task Force. Prior to working at the Task Force, she was the suburban community organizer for POWER, a multi-faith, multi-racial network of congregations in Metro Philadelphia. She also served as Co-Pastor and Minister of Music at the Wisdom’s Table at St. Peter’s United Church of Christ. She is affiliated with the Fellowship of Affirming Ministries and the United Church of Christ, and earned the Master of Divinity degree from Lancaster Theological Seminary in 2016.

Naomi’s work is included in the volume,”From Generation to Generation: A Commemorative Collection of African American Millennial Sermons from the Festival of Preachers 2010-2015, a rare and unique compilation of what the nation’s most promising young African-American ministers are thinking and proclaiming about the Christian faith (Chalice Press, 2015).

Naomi shares her life with her wife, Kentina, a chaplain and religious educator. Together, they are raising a curious, energetic, future Oscar-winning 5th grader, Sophia.

This week Jonathan opens the episode by talking about how he has always felt supported by his ancestors, but some people have showed up negatively in his past, so he has had to make some tough decisions.  That being said, he has no regrets.

ç  Having survived sexist violence and anti-lesbian disownment as a youth, Dr. Grant became a go-to resource on gender and sex among her peers and colleagues as a matter of survival.   Jamie is now a mom in a biracial parenting partnership, raising a white son (23) and a Black, mixed-race daughter (14).

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About Jamie 

Jaime Grant was the Policy Institute Director at the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the founding Executive Director of the Arcus Center for Social Justice Leadership. Currently she is the director of the research director for the National LGBTQ+ Women's Community Survey.  She holds a Ph.D. in women’s studies from the Union Institute. For six years she directed the Union Institute's Center for Women, the nation's only academic women's center dedicated to collaborations between scholars and activists. Her articles on transformational organizations and coalition work have been published in major academic journals and anthologies. Grant has offered a course in social movements at Georgetown University and Kalamazoo College and workshops on gender expression and sexuality at Whitman Walker’s Lesbian Services Program and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force's Creating Change Conference. She has served as a program designer and facilitator for the Ford Foundation’s signature leadership program, Leadership for a Changing World, at the Advocacy Institute.

On this week's episode of Redefining Family Jonathan had the pleasure of speaking with  photographer, activist and artist Zak Krevitt.  Zak opens up about his teen years, what it was like coming out to his family and his  introduction to West Hollywood nightlife when he was just a teen.  He then talks about the underground scenes he has been a part of within the LGBTQ+ community and his current work with the Web3 space where he works with Queer Artists as they try to build a digital museum dedicated to Queer Art and culture.

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About Zak

Zak Krevitt (b. 1991, Los Angeles) is a longtime advocate for LGBTQ+ communities. For over a decade, he has been working with, marching for, and fundraising alongside his queer community for a variety of related causes. Most recently he has began long distance cycling while shooting, in conjunction with fundraising efforts for HIV/AIDS. His work lives within this passion for queer advocacy, and represents his lived experiences both public and private. The work also deals heavily in concepts of transformation, post-humanism, power-exchange, anthropology, and the ability to create authenticity through photographic crystallization of reified desire. Krevitt is a Professor at the School of Visual Arts Department of Photo and Video in NYC under the guidance of Joseph Maida. He hopes to impart a spirit of activism, adventure, community and creative expansion into his students.

Zak Instagram

Zak Website

Redefining Family Facebook

On this very special episode of Redefining Family, Jonathan starts  by talking about his dear friend Julie, who sadly passed away. last year of cancer.  Julie was in love with EVERYTHING Golden Girls.  She went on a Golden Girls cruise and could reference countless episodes. 

Jonathan then goes on to interview Stan Zimmerman, one of the original writers of Golden Girls and countless other hit shows and films like Roseanne, The Gilmore Girls and A Very Brady Sequel (to name a few).  

Stan opens up about what it was like for him growing up, coming out and then becoming one of Hollywood's most beloved writers.  They also discuss why gay men connected to The Golden Girls so much and the family and life that Stan has created for himself within the LGBTQ+ community.  

This episode is for you Julie! 

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About Stan

Along with his writing partner James Berg, Stan's worked on many television series, including season one of The Golden Girls, Brothers, Fame, Hooperman, Something Wilder, Roseanne, Wanda at Large and the highly successful fifth season of Gilmore Girls. They penned the "Norman Mailer, I'm Pregnant" episode. Z&B (as they're also known) have 2 WGA nominations to their credit -- "Rose's Mother" from The Golden Girls and the other for "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", the infamous lesbian kiss episode of Roseanne.

He will also be mentoring writers at a castle in France in May 2022. Stan recently signed a deal with Indigo River to publish his book, "The Girls: From Golden to Gilmore". In it, he will tell stories about all the wonderful women he's worked with. And Roseanne.

In this episode Jonathan gives us a peek into his life outside of "Redefining Family" and his recent travels for work.  He then discusses his love for an old HBO show called "Oz,"  which was a fictional series that took place in a male prison.  This then leads into a wonderful conversation with Rev.  Tyler Sit, who has worked as a prison chaplain, among many other things.  Tyler is the son of a Chinese immigrant, and he discusses what it was like coming out to his family and how he became a pastor.  Tyler is the pastor at a church that is predominately people of color with many members also being a part of the LGBTQ+ community.  He discusses his unique journey and much more!

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About Tyler

Rev. Tyler Sit has had the immense pleasure of being the church planter of New City Church, a church led mostly by queer people of color. He is a lover of Minnesota, a United Methodist pastor, and the son of a Chinese immigrant. Tyler earned a BS in Communication Studies from Boston University and a Masters of Divinity from Candler School of Theology, and he has lived in four continents. He has formal training as a prison chaplain, community organizer, and social entrepreneur. When he is not at New City, you’ll find Tyler wandering around the Mississippi River.

New City has been featured in the New York Times, The Atlantic, Minnesota Public Radio, and more.

https://www.tylersit.com

In this episode Jonathan talks about the role that religion and going to church played in his life growing up.  For the most part, going to church was a positive experience because it brought him closer to his grandmother.  However that is not that case for everyone, as some may say, religion is complicated.  Jonathan then  speaks with  podcaster, presenter and content creator Sean Szeps and they discuss what it was like for him to grow up in the Roman Catholic Church and the effect it had on him coming out..   They also discuss the role religion plays in his life now and how he  raises his children today.

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About Sean

Sean Szeps is an American podcaster, presenter and content creator living in Australia. Previously the host of The Dad Kit and The Baby Bubble podcasts, Sean can currently be heard as the host of LISTNR’s Come Out Wherever You Are, a podcast dedicated to unpacking the coming out experiences of various members of the LGBTQI+ community.Sean lives in Sydney with his husband and twin toddlers, Stella and Cooper. He likes reality television, loves drag queens, and can’t imagine life without sour gummies and bold sunnies.

Sean Szeps Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/seanszeps/

In this episode Jonathan talks about the shame and guilt he first felt when he realized he was gay.  However he explains that now he feels pride and joy with who he is and he explains how he does not let just one part of him define who he is.    He then speaks with Elena Joy Thurston, LGBTQ+ speaker, trainer, author and founder of the nonprofit Pride and Joy Foundation.  She talks about surviving conversion therapy and what it was like to come out as a lesbian being a part of the Mormon church. 

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About Elena

A Mormon mom of four who lost her marriage, her church, and her community when she came out as a lesbian, Elena’s viral TEDx talk on surviving conversion therapy has been viewed 40,000+ times and landed her media and speaking opportunities with ABC, CBS, FOX, Boston’s First Event, Seacoast Wellness Series, and THRIVE. Elena inspires her audiences to learn how Emotional Intelligence can improve company morale and productivity, changing members' lives in a practical way.

Elena Joy powerfully connects with each of her audiences. She opens their hearts to their own humanity through connection and their own growth through inspiration.

Elena Joy Thurston Website:  https://www.elenajoyexperience.com