The boys kill a praying mantis on this week's Reel Rap; and when the boys do it - that means it's not illegal. Gather round the grease trough as Ronnie takes on history's sweatiest war criminal. No more mayors for ol' Ronnie! This time, he's got his sights set on the bozo in the oval. He called it "Rocky for people with a head on their shoulders," so you know the twins have kicked it into high gear for this one. Don't miss the media event of the century. Part one of two.

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The truth is out there! Tom Hanks is woefully miscast and the masters of disas[s]ter are dangerously hype on this installment of Reel Rap. For their 18th trip to the rodeo, your two favorite sweat-soaked investigators put "Da Vinci Code" under the electron microscope. You come for the laughs, but you'll stay for the condescending lessons in art history from America's hottest incel.

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Its The Great Depression and they got Reese's Monkeys workin on the docks(?) AND at blockbuster. Jim 'Robin's Egg Blue Eyes' 'Left Arm' Braddock being the one with the thumbhole sleeve slingin a hook and throwin' hooks. Navigate through yellow trenches with two draft dodgers. Bennetts reveals a dark protein secret toward the end that Doctor's HATE. a new contender for the #1 spot with cocoon. WHAPOW~~~! R

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Rattlesnake noise! Cowpokes vs IndianzzZzZzZzzz Whhops fell asleep! Sorry for the quality, Jakobs asleep at the wheel. Cousin Jonny makes a brief appearance which sends Bennett G's up the wall. Chaa-duu-ba-its-iidan gives the performance of alifetime. I think in reality he's really pissed about how this movie turned out. Rightfully so... I think the editors were torn on how to actually cut the damn thing so its like listening to a 3way call through a phonograph 10 years too late while wearing a broken hearing aid. James Horner falls asleep playing the pan flute. Grapevine into the grave with this one! Had to edit out 2 of Shane's farts.

TSHIRTS COMING SOON FOR THE MASTERCLASS


Thanks Scott Joplin and WFMU for the music which can be found here: http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott_Joplin/Frog_Legs_Ragtime_Era_Favorites/04_-_scott_joplin_-_the_entertainer

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I heard you like the bad girls Ronnie, is that true? Better than I ever even knew, 4 Academy Awards later, Brian holds me in his big arms, showing me umbrella stars, this is what he thinks of. Watching Russell Crowe fall, in and out of old palls, this is Ron's idea of fun. Play your hollywood games. It's you, it's you, everything we do. I'll tell you all the time, Reel Rap is a place on earth with you.

Thank you WFMU and Johnny Nobles Hawaiians for the music.

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People on letterboxd love to say this movie predicted reality tv. WRONG!!!!!!//\/\/\/\/\/\/ Took me all of Q2 to edit this because of our constant clicking, tapping, chewing, peeing, yelling, SSSSS's, and threats. GOODBYE 1990s! Finally were about to hit 00s ron when he becomes the dark artiste we know him for today. What a wash this one is its a miracle the double whammy he hit with this and ransom didn't destroy him. Luckily he got the midas nut at the turn of the century. if y2k gave us anything its 10 years of sepia-toned loving from the 2nd greatest thing to come out of rance's ass. that's a RR!!!!!

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I'm gunna cut ya! Big Time ya hear? Gary Sinese plays a character from Newsies that kidnaps the most resilient son of an airline executive this world has ever seen. Mel Gibson wants his son dead at all costs and inexplicably owns over 50 martini glasses. Ass whips, pissed pants, and voice changers galore, RR boys give you one to hide beneath the floorboards. Music by Eula Beal and Bach

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NSFW! Another bullshi**ing track with no movie this time! God forbid we ask you to watch one trough-level piss flick! This time you don't have to. Just lean forward, arch your back, and strain hard while enjoying this weeks RR.

Special thanks to Zeke Healy for the beautiful intro song.
Full song here: http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Zeke_Healy/Live_at_WFMU_on_Stochastic_Hit_Parade_6709/Untitled_1940

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Happy Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Ground control to Major Ron, I'm stepping in some $#*&! Sorry for the hiatus, I was pissing into the void... Jim Lovell? More like Jim Lovin' It! Apparently reentering earth's atmosphere is exactly the same as cu**ing. Honey, we just boned the moon. Ed Harris buried in WHITE VEST FROM APOLLO 13? ZZZZZzzzzZZZzzzZZZZzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZ... Thank you to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and to Invincible (2006) for the clips.

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Dicky Keaton and Ronnie - the supernova of the century - are back at it again thanks to the 2nd-greatest supernova of the century, Bennett and Shane! We were dug up from our graves to review 1994's 32nd greatest film from imagine entertainment. Brian Grazer is a GOON!!!! RIP Rance. We love you.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit reelrap.substack.com