Refractive

For other Refractive Podcast guided meditations, try What’s My Purpose, Ocean Stillness, or Receiving Love.

For more information on Refractive or host Johnny Guidry, visit www. refractivepodcast.com or www.refractivecoaching.com.

Sharing her views on spiritual healing through toxic relationships, Soul Evolution Coach, Healer, and Reiki Master Jean Atman talks about the difference between pain and suffering, and how suffering is optional. She calls our toxic relationships our best teachers for fast-tracking soul growth, healing, and releasing ego. Having helped over 20k people over the course of her career, Jean Atman (www.jeanatman.com) offers courses, coaching, content, and other forms of support for those ready to embrace their soul’s journey on Earth.

For similarly themed content, try Making Peace with Our Dark Side, Free Yourself from Limiting Beliefs, and The Ancient Truths of Acceptance and PLINKO.

To learn more about host Johnny Guidry, visit www.refractivecoacing.com or www.refractivepodcast.com.

Find all sorts of soul goodness at JeanAtman.com

Blaming and judging seem almost required to play the game of life, but the truth is that if I’m angry with you, the problem is me. Host Johnny G looks at a powerful spiritual axiom: whenever we are upset by the wrongs of another, there is a wrong in us also.

Contact host Johnny G at jo****@***************st.com, or visit www.refractivecoaching.com for more information.

For similarly-themed episodes, try Making Peace with Your Dark Side, How the 12 Steps Can Help Anyone Heal, or From Addiction to Self-Acceptance.

Find an episode transcript below:

Hello. Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Refractive. I’m Johnny G. I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago about the space race we have today between billionaires, how Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk went into this competition to see who can conquer space and how crazy it seemed that only a few decades ago, it was the world’s superpowers that were behind a space race and that today it feels like individual wealthy people can now accomplish the same things that it took countries to accomplish before. And you know, it’s easy for me to be upset about that.

In fact, I was pretty disturbed by the thought of so much wealth being concentrated in the hands of a person when there are so many people who struggle. Now, as I thought, this thought and as I’m talking with my friend and complaining about these other people, you know, I realize that when I consider my spiritual values and the path that I’m on, these feelings of alarm and frustration and resentment towards these men. This doesn’t really jive with my spiritual state right now. I don’t agree with being upset about that kind of thing. It no longer serves me to wind up my anger over the behaviors of another person.

Yet here I am, falling into that behavioral pattern. And as I was having this conversation, I decided to take a look within, you know, what’s really going on here? Why am I really upset about this?

What is being triggered inside of me? What’s causing me to point the finger out at someone else? And, you know, in the moment of the conversation, I couldn’t come up with exactly what it might be, but I spent some time thinking about it after the fact, and I realized that there are a couple of characteristics in myself that rise to the surface when I think of this situation. There’s the idea that I have worked very hard and have wanted to be rewarded financially, and I have not achieved the wealth in my life that I one time had wanted.

“And there is a disappointment around there that I worked, worked, worked and I still didn’t quite make it financially. And then there’s another part of me that wants to point my finger at these guys and say, “What are you doing to solve these issues in the world?”” When in reality, I know that I’m not doing a whole lot to resolve these issues in the world. So if I want them to do their part, what is my part and what am I doing to work towards income equality and accessibility of opportunities in all of this type of stuff that I am claiming that they contribute to as well?

So there are quite a few areas of my own behavior that need some healing and need some attention. And it, in my opinion, is the universe/ God/ Source. It is this opportunity to allow the anger, the resentment to rise up in me as a signpost, saying there’s healing to do inside of you.

There are some things that need attention and that’s where I find the love and the value in the moment of getting upset about what other people are doing. Now, if you’ve listened to Refractive, you know that I am a member of some recovery communities and in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a quote and I want to share that quote with you right now. It says: “It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also.”

Now, this is something that is really central to the inner work that people do if they enter the world of twelve step recovery, it’s an important part of coming to terms with our relationship with the world. And I find that this really, truly fits the definition of an axiom.

When you think of the word axiom, it’s a statement that is always true. And so I look at the spiritual axiom of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I’m just fascinated by how powerful, how simple, how accurate, how universal it is. And in that one quote, there is so much potential to unlock a world of pain and shame and and resentment and anger and awkwardness and fear inside of each of us – inside of me. I don’t even need to speak for you.

I can only speak for me and tell you that when it comes to myself, that spiritual axiom, when I am upset by what someone else has done, there is something at fault in me also.

I am at fault also. And so, you know, I wanted to share this on an episode of Refractive because I do think that a concept like this has the potential to really make a difference in the lives of a lot of people.

Now there’s a couple of, let’s say, sensitive points that I can imagine people having when they when they look at this reaction. You know, first of all, we say, well, wait a minute. Like what happens about atrocities and where I am truly a victim of another person’s bad behavior. What about when I am innocently attacked? I think it serves as well to look at the wording of the spiritual axiom and realize that it is not saying that when something bad happens to me, it’s my fault.

That is not what it says. What it says is that when someone hurts me and I’m upset, there is something inside of me that is at fault also. So let’s take a look at what this could mean.

When I think about that space race example. The fact that Richard Branson, Elon Musk and you know, these billionaires around the world are funneling money into go into space in this gentlemen’s competition against each other. That’s not my fault, right?

That’s not my fault. I did not cause that to happen. And really, there’s nothing wrong with these guys taking their money and spending it to go into space. There’s literally nothing wrong with that. It’s the implications of how they got to the position to be able to do it that is upsetting to me. It’s not that they are building rockets and flying into space. Now when I say, though, that it’s not my fault that this space race is not my doing. So what does it mean that I am at fault also?

Well, how about the fact that I am a loyal Amazon customer? So if I want to point the finger to Jeff Bezos and say shame on you for not doing something loftier with your money. Well, I continue to support Amazon, right?

I’m a Prime member. I probably buy something from Amazon at least once a month. So I have an Audible subscription and I download audiobooks all the time and I put my podcasts up on Amazon Music. So hold up before I want to say Jeff Bezos needs to do more.

Let’s scale that down to my personal impact and say, What am I doing? You know, maybe I can’t control the work lives and the career opportunities of thousands and thousands of Amazon employees. But there is a power that I have, and if I’m not taking responsibility for my place in the world and doing what is within my reach, then shame on me for holding another person to a standard that I’m not willing to observe myself. You know, I look at this and say, hold up.

This is the judgment game. The issue with this is that I don’t feel good about certain things in my life. I don’t feel good about certain decisions I’ve made. And if I can point the finger out at another person, then I can forget that deep down, I have some discomfort over my own path. I can feel superior, I can feel self-righteous. I can feel like a good person because the low level quiet guilt that I may have about my life gets drowned out by the outrage I feel towards another person.

And so again, this comes down to- not fault, per se- it doesn’t come down to blame. And this certainly has nothing to do with victim blaming. It has to do with: I have fallen short of the ideals that I am ready to hold other people accountable for.

And either I can raise myself up to that level of accountability, or I can lower my need for another to be accountable, to match the grace that I might be giving myself. That, to me, is the lesson for there.

So, you know, let’s look at another example of how the spiritual axiom. Can be put into use, let’s say that someone in a romantic relationship with me were to cheat on me. And I am hurt and upset about this.

Well, the spiritual axiom, let me read it again, word for word instead of paraphrasing. “It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also.”

OK, so if someone cheats on me and I’m upset, does that mean that I’m a cheater? Does that mean that I have cheated on that other person? Because it says “every time,” it doesn’t say most of the time.

This axiom says every time and it says we are in the wrong ALSO. But what if I’ve never cheated on a partner? What if I’ve never done that? You know, I feel like. This connects back to some things that Jesus said on the sermon on the Mount.

He talks about the concept of sin is not just physical action. And if we say sin, right, if we’re talking about the religious concept of sin, which is not necessarily something that I adhere to myself in the traditional sense, but let’s just kind of use Jesus’ teaching, which is one of my favorite favorite religious writings ever.

The sermon on the Mount. When Jesus says that when you commit adultery in your mind, you are committing adultery. We’re talking about energy management. We’re talking about energy management, right? Because we live in a world of energy.

We are energy. Our body is just dense energy. And so when we take the energy of thoughts and we direct that energy into a fantasy of some sort, we are not managing our energy appropriately. When I revel in the potential pleasure of a fantasy that is harmful, that lowers my vibration, that has the potential to hurt another person, that does not grow my light, but rather dims my light. Then I am also cheating. I’m also cheating, and I’m not going to get into the whole concept of, well, where does guilt lie with imaginary cheating compared to in person cheating- That’s that’s a topic for another day. But what I’m saying is that I have cheated as well in my heart. There are times where I have looked at an individual and fantasized or objectified an individual when I was with another person.

And so before I can get angry at someone for disrespecting me, why don’t I look at what I’m doing. It doesn’t mean that there is no justice, and I want to talk about justice, I want to talk about fairness, and I’ll come back to that in a minute.

But when I say, let me look at what I’m doing as I’m angry at other people, it means: Have I deceived a partner? Maybe I didn’t necessarily have inappropriate physical relations with another person, but when have I deceived a partner?

Have I spoken untruly, have I hid my feelings about something? Have I used a particular approach to get what I want, which is a form of lying and manipulation? Right. So where have I been less than honest and truthful?

Where have I been disrespectful to my partner? With my behavior, with my thoughts. With my words. And so let me realize that I have healing to do inside of myself. I have an opportunity to apply love and attention to healing my own issues.

And that has nothing to do with the other person except realizing that their behavior was a catalyst for a beautiful, compassionate signpost from my God, from the universe, from source, gently pointing out an opportunity for me to heal something of myself.

So. Where does that leave us? What does that imply? What does that mean for our appropriate reaction? Let’s talk about justice. What is just in a situation where we are attacked or we are cheated on or we are disrespected?

You see? As I study the spiritual axiom, the spiritual axiom, “Every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are, so we are wrong also.” As I study the spiritual axiom, I say that justice for this other person’s behavior against me has zero to do with my own peace. Seeking justice for wrongs done to me has nothing to do with the healing that I need to do in myself. So I want to make sure that my message for this, for this episode is clearly clearly outlined that when I say when we are upset by something someone else did, we are in the wrong also. It does not mean that we don’t need to show ourselves the respect of drawing boundaries, protecting ourselves, ensuring our safety, ensuring our dignity. Right? I’m not saying that the other person isn’t held accountable. What I’m saying it is ALSO an opportunity for us to heal ourselves and therefore the implication of this is that once we are healed in these ways, our serenity is not subject to the behaviors of others.

Once we heal ourselves in these ways, our serenity is not subject, does not depend on the behaviors of other people, and this is what Buddhism means, at least in my take when Buddhism says that nothing, nothing can disturb us externally.

Nothing on the outside can disturb us once we have. realized the divinity within- once we have gotten still enough to heal all of the hurt and the damage and the splinters inside, then we are no longer subject to the pain, we are no longer subject to the distress, the emotional distress. So this is a really freeing concept. This is good news. This is good news. The good news is not that I am SO wrong also, the good news is that if I don’t want to be hurt by others. There is a clear path to ensuring that I don’t get hurt by others. It is being honest with myself looking inward at the places where there are opportunities for me to heal from my past.

This means looking openly with a willing heart at the places where I have been hypocritical. Looking at the places where I have committed murder in my mind, looking at the places where I have committed rape in my mind, looking at the places where I have cheated, lied, stolen in my mind as well. And the hurtful things that I may have done physically to other people. And by examining the places in my mind where that ego lives and thrives, where my comfort, my sense of satisfaction is justification for taking what I want from others, from doing what I want with others, I’m saying whatever I may want to say to others. When I’m able to acknowledge that part of myself, not only do I heal myself in stopping from being subject to the pain from others, but I stop creating pain for others as well. When I feel the inside of me where that ego based

deception lives, I’m no longer subject to pain from others, and I am no longer the source of pain for others. I do no harm. I do no harm to myself. And I do no harm to others. This is such good news.

What an amazing opportunity. What a wonderful gift for us to be able to go in and decide- it is a decision for us to decide how delicate. are we willing to be in the world when it relates to other people? How much pain do I need to accept from other people? How much will my serenity depend on the behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, beliefs of others? And am I ready to look inside? Where I may have fallen short of my ideals.

And begin the process of healing. Reclaim my place of peace. And shine brightly out into the world in a way that is beyond the reach of the darkness of ego. That is the good news of the spiritual axiom.

As you go out into the world, my friends, make sure that you look for the light all around you, see the goodness in others, and do no harm. And always remember to aim your light. Take care.

Mahima- just the one name, thank you very much- joins Refractive to encourage listeners to find your GENIUS- and embrace it! Speaker, author, and founder of The Mahima Mindset, Mahima discusses breaking free of the societal programming in Zimbabwe that threatened to keep her life WAY smaller than she deserved, and the decision to step into her full power. She talks about two important forms of purpose (your genius and your mission) that are important to investigate, and a challenge to all of us to check for self-sabotage around abundance. Mahima also reviews the link between beliefs and the beautiful life we manifest for ourselves. Enjoy this extraordinarily rich episode that is chock-full of love, wisdom, and gentle guidance.

For more information on Mahima’s offerings and her free gift- the 21 day meditation challenge- visit https://themahimamindset.com/21-day-meditation-challenge/

For similarly themed episodes on Refractive, check out “When Purpose Gets in the Way,” “Whose Expectations Are You Trying to Meet?” and “Free Yourself from Limiting Beliefs.”

Contact host Johnny Guidry at re***************@***il.com, and visit Mahima at TheMahimaMindset.com.

Automatic transcript follows, please excuse any errors.

Hello, everyone. And welcome to another episode of refractive. This is Johnny G today. I am so pleased to introduce you to my guests. Her name is Mahima and she is a self-mastery mentor. She’s a mindset trainer and international best-selling author and an award-winning speaker. She’s the founder of the, my Hema mindset. Although she was born and raised in Zimbabwe, she has since spent her entire life traveling the world, and she has taught her own unique brand of mindful leadership. She has done over 10,000 hours of meditation practice. She is a sought after expert on meditation. And today she is here to talk with us about discovering your own genius. And I am so excited to dig a little bit into this amazing topic. So welcome a Hema. It’s wonderful to have you.
Speaker 3 00:01:39 Thank you so much, Johnny. Thank you for having me what a pleasure to be able to come and share my story. And, you know, your story is brilliant, remarkable, and amazing. And, um, and it’s just such a joy to be in the presence of what I call like powerful people that are like just doing what they love in the world and, you know, and spreading love enjoying the world. So it’s an honor to be here with you. Thank you.
Speaker 2 00:02:04 Thank you. I have to say that that’s been one of the most wonderful parts of living this lifestyle. And following this path is meeting people who spread light. And this is, so this is my tribe, right? This is my tribe. You know, a lot of people, we find our tribe and in our late adolescents or perhaps university years, or, you know, but no, my tribe it’s these people who crisscrossed the world shining brightly and helping other people to shine brightly. And so I know that this has been an important part of how you have established yourself in the world.
Speaker 3 00:02:43 Absolutely. I mean, my whole world changed when I was 22 years old and I came into contact with a tribe of people that were meditating. I meditated for the first time and got introduced to concepts, ideas, um, feelings, emotions, experiences that quite frankly, and honestly I had not previously experienced. So, and I know that meeting all of these amazing people at this particular place, it was an ashram in India, um, has changed the course of my life completely, totally and utterly. Yeah. Um, it started a healing process, which, um, I didn’t even, I needed. Yeah,
Speaker 2 00:03:28 That’s right. That’s the most wonderful part about it when we discover these, these, these journeys that we didn’t anticipate. And, you know, today we look at these, we, I make assumptions about you. I don’t know. But, uh, we, I look at this part of my life and it’s so important and so precious to me and it’s something I didn’t even know I would want.
Speaker 3 00:03:52 Absolutely, absolutely. Because I come from a very, I came from a very traditional family. Um, if anyone knows anything about Zimbabwe, we, you know that in the sixties, seventies, and even eighties, early eighties, it was under apartheid. Right. Which is a very negative mindset to be brought up in, you know? So, uh, I have a lot of stuff in my childhood and I believe that a lot of our issues as adults come from things that happened in our childhood, but because we’re not taught to think about that in that way. Yeah. We don’t, we don’t realize it. And so we blame ourselves for, you know, maybe being too angry, being too, you know, what people might call lazy or being, uh, closed or being, um, you know, a negative or whatever it is that has, um, brought about the state of reality into our system.
Speaker 3 00:04:55 Right? So for me, growing up in apartheid, growing up in, uh, what I call the heat culture, because even my grandmother and my aunts and aunties and everyone around me, um, everyone was really struggling with the politics of the country. There was even a war at one point. Um, and all this affected me a lot when I was a child. And I realized later as an adult, that I was still affected by all of these things. And so the process that I think you and I talk about in our world with the refractive coaching and the stuff that I do is just really to, to, to, to get people to open up to the fact that there’s so much more joy, more love, more available inside of you, then the society leads you to believe,
Speaker 2 00:05:46 Oh, that is, that is so powerful because you know, we are, we are our own jailers. We are the people that hold us in the cage. This is a cage that we hold shut and there’s not a person on the planet, strong enough to lock us in. We do it. And we do it and discovering the freedom that I am the jailer. And I am the savior that I have been for to release myself from this. This is, this is the joy, this is the joy. And so tell me about this process of discovering your genius and discovering your mission. I imagine it must be a very satisfying part of what you do with people and I’d love to hear about it.
Speaker 3 00:06:33 Okay, awesome. So, um, I believe that we have, I call it two purposes in life. Okay. And one is the, the purpose of the soul. And I’ll explain that in a second. And one is what I call the purpose of the body. Right. So, um, so when we’re looking for a life purpose, when we’re looking for, um, you know, what is, you know, what is what I call the genius? It’s very much about what am I going to do with my time and this body. Okay. So the sole purpose is the part of us that you, your soul is the part that came into this world with nothing and is going to leave with nothing. Yeah. So there’s a part of us that is the mysterious part of it. Some people call it consciousness, some people call it awareness. Some people call it source. Some people call it God, some people call it later.
Speaker 3 00:07:29 You know, there’s different names have been used to try to explain that there is an aspect of self that moves on from this body and will travel into whichever universes or whatever you believe or don’t believe that there’s an ongoing journey. Right? So, so, um, I believe that the two purposes we have is one is the sole purpose. And one is the body purpose, or the sole purpose is all about discovering how to be a happy, um, grounded, loving kind, and respectful human to and others. And that my discovery at 22 was all about my sole purpose. Like I didn’t know about that. And I was
Speaker 2 00:08:16 Your experience in India, right? This is what you’re talking about
Speaker 3 00:08:19 Is my experience in India discovering, um, uh, what I call the self discovering peace, discovering joy, discovering, um, that I didn’t need anything. In fact, I have a sentence to describe this. My teacher in India, he taught me an inner peace, a love and a joy that is not dependent on outside circumstances, events or people. Yes. Because it’s super powerful and inner peace and love and a joy that is not dependent on external circumstances, events, or people. This is what I call a soul. Your soul’s purpose is defined its way back home. Yes. Yep. Find his way to that place where you realize you already have everything you need inside of you right now. Yeah. That’s the art of meditation, isn’t it just be being and letting go, letting go of the doer, the one to the needer trying to fix things, you know, feeling broken.
Speaker 3 00:09:25 Um, all of the things that, you know, we usually are holding onto. So it’s, it’s allowing yourself to just be, to be yourself. Yeah. Um, to go beyond the body and beyond the mind. Right. So that is for me, your sole purpose. It is doing the work to elevate yourself as a human. So even though I come from Zimbabwe, I come from hatred. I come from, um, you know, uh, uh, physical abuse, sexually abused. I come from an abusive past and all of this could be the story that I carry around with me, but because I’ve done the work to connect to my soul, I realized that I’m not my story. I’m not my pain. I’m not anger. I’m not the, the, the, the hatred. I’m not the guilt. I’m not the sexual abuse. I’m not the drama. I’m S there’s another part of me. Right. And that’s my soul. And my soul is untouched by any external, um, stuff. So that’s the first thing. I try to get people to acknowledge. Yeah. When they do with me and the work that I do, it’s like, can we look, is there more to you than your name and your students?
Speaker 2 00:10:40 Yes, listen, listen, this is, so this is just it’s revolutionary. I mean, in fact, I believe it’s the opposite of revolutionary. It’s the most basic, it’s the most basic thing. But in today in our society, it’s so revolutionary to think that you, uh, you could be locked up in justly. You could be abandoned, you could be abused and you can still love what is, yeah. You can still find love all around you, even in the midst of such tragedy. And, and this is something where I’ve struggled with this during, during the COVID pandemic, that so many people are so upset. They’re so they’re hurting about, about this. They’re, they’re, they’re, they’re hurting because of the suffering. They see they’re hurting because of the fear for their wellbeing. And I want to honor that I’m not here to tell people what their journey should look like, but I got to tell you that I’m not suffering.
Speaker 2 00:11:55 I’m not suffering. Like I, I have found beautiful avenues of living that have opened up during COVID. There are things I can do in COVID that I could never do outside of COVID. Well, I w I went to, um, New York and I was able to walk down the middle of Lexington avenue for a block, with not a single car coming. And it was just one of these experiences that I’ll never forget, you know, because this is a city with more traffic than you can imagine. And I’m just walking down the middle of a street, just soaking in what’s happening. And I had so many of these experiences, and I don’t know about you, but I have, without taking away the pain of others, I have really found so much love and beauty, um, to be harvested during this time. And I believe that that holds true during any type of difficulty.
Speaker 3 00:12:57 Absolutely. And I think I love the way you explaining this. It’s just so juicy. And I think what people need to understand is what I call the reality. Okay. And the reality is that when we came into this world, we came in as pure consciousness. If you look at a little baby, there are pure love. Yes. A baby is pure love. That’s just all a baby is right. And then as the baby starts to grow, it starts to learn about fear, about, hate, about anger, about pain, but it doesn’t know any of that stuff before we teach it that stuff. So what we’re essentially saying is even when you, I think when you’re leaving this planet, I think there’s a moment where you return back to your core. If you haven’t woken up during your life and think there’s moment, you return back to that, love you re you know, you ridden back to that, that pure essence of self. Right? So, um, so yeah, basically you are pure love. That’s why you said you’re able to experience, even in adversity, you’re able to experience love, right. Because that’s our nature. That’s
Speaker 2 00:14:09 All there is.
Speaker 3 00:14:11 Yeah. That’s our nature beyond all of the drama and all of the story, but only when we become still can we know that, right? And that’s why it’s important to create experiences for people to experience for themselves. I didn’t know about this until I experienced it. Like someone telling me, oh, your nature is love. Oh yeah. That sounds nice. But
Speaker 2 00:14:36 Yeah, that’s great. That’s great. Hallmark. That’s great. Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:14:38 Yeah. So I love to actually create experiences for people. Like, look, I’ll show you what I figured out. I’ll, I’ll help to guide you into that deeper place. So you can experience what I’ve experienced. That’s what my teacher did for me. He held the space and opened up ways of perceiving myself and reality. That allow me to understand I’m not my story. Sorry. I don’t know if I can say I just said it, but I’m not my story. Right. Um, so, so yes, it’s a part of me, but it’s a part of the limited version of me. What do I mean by that? It means that I could leave my body at any second. This all could be over. I could have one night. I could have 10 nights. I could have 10 years and I could still have 50 years to live. We do not know how much time we have. So every moment is so precious every single moment. And then you’ve got to ask yourself the question. I have a choice of how I’m going to live this moment. Right. I can lean. And I always say to people, you only ever have two choices. That’s why this becomes so easy to bring it to,
Speaker 2 00:15:56 Can we bring it to me? Cause I, I, I think I know what you’re going to say. And I’m excited. So tell me,
Speaker 3 00:16:01 You only ever have two choices. You can lean into positivity, or you can lean into negativity in some way, form or shape. Always only making two decisions. Now, as you listening to this, you could be leaning into, oh, no, I don’t like this woman. I don’t like which, which is okay. You, you have the right to do that. And so you lean into that, like no rejection and whatever it is, right. Or you can lean into, wow, this is interesting. I want to hear more. Oh, I’m curious. Or always like it or whatever. Right? So you only ever making two choices when you anxiety, anxiety, it’s a choice. Anxiety is a choice. You no, one’s holding a gun to your head and saying, you have to feel anxiety right now. You can say, what is it going to bring me? What is this feeling going to bring me?
Speaker 3 00:16:49 It brings me nothing. So what can I look to be grateful for right now? So right now you could lean into gratitude. Like, oh, I’m alive. Yes. I am here. I’m in my body. And I have the opportunity today to share more intimacy and more love with the people that I care about. Whether that’s through Skype or through whatever I’m making a choice to live. Yes. Yeah. And that, because that’s honoring life, that’s honoring reality. And the fact that you honor, you don’t know how much time you have. Right. So it is actually an arrogance to think you have time first. And then once you get out of that story of, I have time you think, okay, I have this moment. What do you want to do? Yeah,
Speaker 2 00:17:35 That’s right. And so tell me, bring this back to, uh, the, the, the soul mission. You said. So that’s what we’re talking about first, right? The sole mission. And so how do you figure that?
Speaker 3 00:17:47 Okay. So your sole purpose is all about working on yourself, not being happy for no reason. Uh, waking up to the reality, what I’ve just told you about. You don’t know how much time you have your hello. What do you want to do with your time? This is all what I call the soul purpose. And very essential part of finding your genius and your calling, because most people. And when I talk about genius, I talk about talent. Your genius for me is your talent. It is your, I also call it your moneymaker because let’s be let’s. And that’s why I say it’s connected to the body because without the body, you don’t need a genius.
Speaker 2 00:18:31 You are everything. You are the creator. So
Speaker 3 00:18:33 Yes. So, so the genius I call it, the body purpose is really the talent that you are going to choose to become masterful at. Okay. Yeah. So, so that’s why people get confused because they’re like, put me Hema. I am so good at, uh, at sewing and I’m good at, um, hiking and I’m good at, you know, uh, coaching and I don’t know, I can’t choose. Right. You have to choose, you have to choose, like you can have 10 talents, but are you masterful at something because that’s, what’s going to give you confidence in life to know that you bring a value, you have something to give to the world and that’s your talent. Now, some people use music, some people use, you know, uh, cooking. Some people use teaching. Some people use, um, helping people lose weight. Some people, you know, so there’s different talents that you could hone in on, in camp.
Speaker 3 00:19:35 And I see choose the talent that lights up your soul the most. Yeah. Because it’s going to be very difficult on any path you choose to really become a superstar on that path. Right. So if you say, I’m gonna take cooking and I want to do something with cooking, okay. That’s going to be a challenging path, even if you’re good at cooking, right. If you say, oh, no, I’m going to take a sewing and I’m going to do something with that. There’s going to be a challenging map. You know? So even if you pretty good at sewing, so choose the path that feels the most, like, I want to leave a legacy here. Right? So that’s your, I want to take this talent and do something meaningful in the world and just be about making money, even though your genius is your moneymaker be about making money because you know, we all know that you can make money from your talent and still be miserable. Right. And why is that? Why are people like, you know, I’ve got my money. I’ve made money. Yeah. I’ve got my talent, but they still are drowning in, in, in whatever, like negative issues, living
Speaker 2 00:20:45 A lukewarm life at best.
Speaker 3 00:20:47 Exactly. Why is that? Because of the parties first talked about, they didn’t work on their sole purpose. Okay.
Speaker 2 00:20:54 All right.
Speaker 3 00:20:55 Does that make sense? This is all about just, I am just such a grateful, grounded, centered, happy human being. I’m not like this all the time because I’m fricking human. Yeah. But I try to spend 80% of my time just saying, thank you. Thank you. I try to spend 80% of my time being helpful and kind and meaningful to others. Um, I try to spend 80% of my time feeling good about myself and the world. This is the sole purpose. And it needs to be done more than the body purpose, the body purpose. We can find that easily. Right? I’m a teacher, I’m a dancer. I’m a musician. I’m an artist. I’m a cook. I’m a, this I’m a that right. That’s all great. But what are you going to do with that talent? That makes it feel meaningful. And that’s when we switch into the mission, what I call your mission, my gift is facilitating transformation.
Speaker 2 00:21:54 I like
Speaker 3 00:21:54 That. That’s my gift. And I’m becoming masterful at this. It’s been two and a half decades. It’s in the making and I will continue to grow and I have a lot to learn and I’ve learned a lot. Um, and now my mission is to empower people, to be peaceful, powerful, and joyful in the now yes.
Speaker 2 00:22:14 Now
Speaker 3 00:22:15 In the now. Yes. So that’s my personal mission. That’s what makes me wake up in the morning and not make it about me and get sort of bogged down with all of my problems. Yeah. So I can take this gift that I have, and I can focus it on my mission, which is to empower people, to be peaceful, powerful, and joyful in the now presence of the now that’s really what I teach. I teach. I wake up, wake up, wait, hello? Hello. You’re here now. Do you realize how precious this could be open snap off a second? Yeah. Let’s come back to reality and let’s make better choices today right now about who you want to be, because nobody cares about what you achieve, what you have or what you accomplish. What makes, what they care about is who you are, what you made them feel, what you brought to the table, energetically, spiritually with love. That’s what people care about.
Speaker 2 00:23:15 That’s right. That’s right. Let me ask you then. Okay. So I’m gonna, I’m going to connect two dots that I see here. And I think that they make sense, but I want to give you a chance to comment on that by belief. And I believe from what I hearing you may feel similarly, is that if you focus on the ever present now yes. And if you build your capacity, uh, I, I, if to me, it’s more, if you, if you access your memory of how to be present in the now, uh, then your sole mission, your soul purpose, your soul purpose and your body purpose, or your genius naturally become clear, open paths. Because every answer that you could possibly need for anything in life is in the ever-present. Now that Sur is in the stillness. It is. If we desire, if we have sufficient desire to go into the stillness and ask the question, listen, and then find the guts to do what the stillness tells us to do. And once we do that, there is no more obstacle like Paolo Coelho in the alchemists says, when you follow your personal legend, the entire universe conspires in your favor. And so this is really what I believe. And I’m wondering if you might feel the same way.
Speaker 3 00:24:57 Absolutely. I have different words to describe it, but exactly the same thing. Exactly the same thing. So we’re saying the same thing, just, I would use different words. My sentence is I’m living in a friendly universe that is designed to support me. It is designed. I am designed to be here in this time and space and everything around me is designed to support me. We see this in nature, everything is called creating and coexisting together. It’s not an island on its own, right. Um, clouds are created that fall as rain that fall into a river that, you know, gives water and makes the trees grow. And there’s all this interconnected space. And then we breathe the fresh air. And so this, so we are part of this amazing ecosystem on a physical level and on an energetic spiritual level. And once you start to understand that, as you said, there’s nothing you can’t do be or have.
Speaker 2 00:26:02 Yes. Yes, that’s right. But that
Speaker 3 00:26:05 Being said, you have to stay in radical action, not right. You’ve got to stay in radical action. Like if you say, you know, whatever it is, I want to, you know, I don’t want to have a job. I want to, you know, be a global nomad like you are doing right now. This is a conscious choice. This is not like, oh, look how lucky he is. He’s just a global nomad floating. Right? No, you’ve consciously chose.
Speaker 2 00:26:32 Thank you for saying that. Yes. I love that. Yes. My ego loves hearing that because I got to tell you, it is, it is, uh, it is. I want say that so much when people say, oh, I just wish I could have a life. Like you, you don’t want to be like, you’re the only thing that’s stopping you from having a life like you, your toddler is not stopping you from having a life like me. Your job is not stopping you from having a life like me. You’re ailing. Parents are not stopping you from having a life like me. You are stopping you and you may be stopping you for wonderful, perfect reasons. Or you may be stopping yourself for fear, doubt, or ego. And you know, what everybody’s path is perfect. Everyone’s path is ideal. There is no, there is no imperfect path. Uh, but we are the ones who create the
Speaker 3 00:27:28 100 cents. And let’s explain that gaze you create how you create is through your belief systems. Yes. So your belief systems create your emotional body, which create your actions that you take, right? So let’s say I believe that, um, my education leaving school at 16, um, is going to mean that I don’t get access to certain jobs, certain opportunities and be, and I believe that because I only went to school until 16, I can’t do X, Y, Z. So this belief is going to cause an emotional state inside of me. Maybe that feeling of being stupid, a feeling of not being enough, a feeling of not, uh, you know, being able to accomplish what I want to accomplish. And then I’m going to be acting according to their belief system. Yes. So now let’s say we change the belief that, you know, in order to, you know, like you don’t need a, you know, a PhD and a master’s degree to be a international business legend.
Speaker 3 00:28:37 Yes. You just change the belief you like, you know, I can be, I can be street smart. I can be, you know, savvy. I can like, I don’t need a, um, uh, a school education to be able to be financially successful in the world. I believe that. And now I start to feel a certain way because of that belief, right? Unity’s come my way. I’m operating with that belief system, right. That education is great, but it doesn’t equal. Success equals success is a different level of smartness. So you can have PhDs, you can have master’s degrees and you can still fail, you know? Um, and you can just be street smart and savvy and succeed. So every belief is creating your reality. That’s
Speaker 2 00:29:23 100% true. So
Speaker 3 00:29:25 You believe that you are going to be taken care of you believe that you’re going to create, um, positive experiences. You create, you believe that things are gonna unfold and come to you. And by the way, I know this because I also lived a nomad life, which I still feel I’m semi there, but because I’m married and, you know, we have a place here in Switzerland, we have a little bit of a base camp, but before that I was floating around and creating magic in my life and even with my husband. Um, so, so I know that beliefs create your emotional state, create the actions that you take. And that’s why you want to surround yourself with people that don’t think like you do that can allow you to challenge some of those beliefs that you have that are keeping you in, uh, in the prison as you so beautifully put it. Yeah. So let’s
Speaker 2 00:30:21 See the prison.
Speaker 2 00:30:22 Let’s, let’s bring this to some practical, uh, some practical help for the listener. So we talked about the, uh, we talked about the sole purpose, which is really simply learning to recognize your oneness with the creator. It’s really learning to recognize your perfection and to step into that, right? And to, to stop turning to fear and doubt and all of the things that keep us, uh, small in this animal kingdom. And then there is the, uh, body mission, the genius, which is a, let’s find something that we feel joy doing, that we become masterful at. And that takes care of the logistical aspects of living our life
Speaker 3 00:31:09 And serves humanity. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:31:12 And I’m so glad you said that. Yes. Because you know, um, the concept of fulfillment, as we think about a fulfilling life requires service or usefulness, right. Fulfillment can not occur. This is what I, you know, what, can I back this up with a fact? No, but if you disagree with me, I don’t know what to tell you don’t fight me. Cause I don’t fight anymore. But you know, fulfillment requires usefulness that there is no such thing as being fulfilled through service to yourself, it requires something like that
Speaker 3 00:31:50 100% and you enemy people can try it, like look at people that are like, oh, you know, like clients that come onto our campus, you know, and they’re like, what, why do I need to be of service? Why do I need to be a server? I said, because I mean, think about what gives you the most joy. And then they started to talk about, you know, people and being able to support or help somebody, you know? Um, but you know, in some way, making someone else’s life better, but not above your own wellbeing. Let me be clear about that. Okay. This is not that like, I’m gonna get, like while you’re dying and becoming a smaller version, this is about being the best version of yourself and saying, now I’ve elevated, right? Because I’ve worked on my self on a soulful level and maybe in process, you’ve created more abundance in your life because that, that has to happen. Okay. There’s no way you can elevate yourself and not elevate your, your abundance. That means
Speaker 2 00:32:51 Fruits.
Speaker 3 00:32:54 It’s just not possible. Right. That higher frequency brings in more gorgeous people, more great opportunities. And you know, and I see it all the time because people come on our campus and they’re like, ah, miracles are happening now. Oh my God. And it’s maybe too fast. And I’m like, sweetheart, it’s not too fast. Ready for this already say yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 00:33:25 So yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the being of service, that’s the mission, right? So you take your genius, which is your talent. You choose a talent, cause yes, you may have 10 talents. But if you want to be, if you look at anyone in the world that you admire anybody, they ha they chose a path to become masterful at. And then maybe they branched out. Right. So Beyonce, she didn’t start with trying to act, trying to design, trying to, you know, she started with as a singer. And when she got to the high level, then other doors opened, she became a triple threat. Then she’s acting and she’s an entrepreneur or fancy stuff. Right. But her initial grind was taking her talent to the highest level. She could play that game. Right. It required focus and energy. So I know lots of people might be like, yeah, that’s maybe old school. It’s not old school. It is new school. It’s today’s school. Don’t be all over the place, choose a talent and nurture that talent until the talent gives back to you. Yes. Yes. And it will, it will. There’s no other way that this can happen. If you commit to your talent and becoming masterful and using it to serve others, there’s only one way this thing can go, which is
Speaker 2 00:34:39 Right. That’s right. Here’s the, here’s the corollary to that. That if you believe pursuing your talent, won’t pay the bills, then you are correct. You know, that’s the thing. Now, if you want to sell jewelry at a flea market and also make $250,000 a year, I’m not saying that that’s not possible. I’m saying you have a heck of a road ahead of you to figure out if that’s, what, if though, if those two things are both required for you, but the question is, why do you want $250,000 income? Like, like, is that really what your soul is asking for? Or is that what your ego or fear or discomfort or doubt is asking for, you know, or is that what someone else in your life is telling you to ask for? Um, when I listened to my inner soul, sure. I would love, I would love to make a quarter of a million dollars a year. That would be so wonderful. It would be delightful. Um, but when I asked my inside, is that, is that something I should pursue my insights say, no, baby, no, no, no. You’re, you’re all your needs are met. All your needs are met. So some, some, uh, you know, random number that you fixated on for income that is you trying to control that is you trying to take the unknown out of life. And the only way to take the unknown out of life is to go inside and get in touch with the stillness.
Speaker 3 00:36:14 Absolutely. I, I, you know, I agree that we should be very deep listening to the, why do we want this? Yes.
Speaker 2 00:36:23 That’s it really wrong with high income? No. Why need it? Yes,
Speaker 3 00:36:31 Exactly. Yeah, because you know, like, I, I don’t, I personally come from the school where, you know, uh, money and spirituality can dance very beautifully together. Very beautiful. We remove the limiting beliefs that they shouldn’t dance beauties. I’ve noticed in the spiritual scene or world, there is a sort of like, like a downplay on money can be there. Like, you know, like you shouldn’t want money. If you’re spiritual, you should just be like, Hey, you know, I got the spirit and I want to tell my personal story. Um, I used to say things like, um, I don’t need money. I don’t need money. I, I, I, in a piece is what matters to me. Right. And I said that and repeated that. And then, uh, my joke now is, you know, I didn’t need money and money ended up not needing me either. Okay. And this is very unpleasant.
Speaker 3 00:37:26 I went through a bankruptcy with my husband. Um, we had to file for bankruptcy. It was a very challenging time in our lives. Um, and, uh, and then when I was 40 I’m 50 now, um, I was financially dependent on my husband. We sort of crude our way through, you know, the bankruptcy. Um, and we were better, but I, and I still was prance. I say prancing, cause I literally used to prance around like, you know, like I used to run around and I was saying it ISO still hadn’t learned from their bankruptcy. Right. And I was saying, and so we were going down towards the second bankruptcy and that’s when I said, I got to stop saying this because I do care about money. I do not want to be like 45 years old. And like, feeling like, I don’t know where money is.
Speaker 3 00:38:21 Like, like I, this is not the life I want. It’s not the life I saw for myself. So I made a decision to have a completely, my shift around money. And I started to say, money loves me. And I love money. I love money. And money loves me. We have a good relationship. And yes, money, money comes to me in increasing quantities from multiple sources on a continuous basis while enriching lives. I’m so happy and grateful that money comes to me in increasing quantities from multiple sources on a continuous basis. And I started saying this, which I got from Bob Proctor, this mantra, I started seeing this mantra and started to kind of heal that part of me that didn’t there was rejecting money. Right. And, uh, and you know, my life completely changed after that. You know, so I’m here as a kind of, you know, recovering, you know, um, the spiritual hippie who rejected who say, listen, I do, you know, like I need to get my shit together on this level as well, because that’s part of the holistic, you know, self care. So, so, so I think for anyone listening, yes, it’s important to ask, why do you want this? But also you need to believe that you deserve the very best that life has to
Speaker 2 00:39:50 Offer. That’s right.
Speaker 3 00:39:52 You have the very best that life. And you get to define what that very best is.
Speaker 2 00:39:56 Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. The ego attaches to the idea of giving up money just as easily as it attaches to the idea of needing to be rich, you know? And so it’s about understanding, am I, uh, am I trying to be a moneyless spiritual person because it makes me feel special and superior, you know, because that is every bit as, um, detrimental to your soul growth as needing to make a certain income. They both equal opposites for sure.
Speaker 3 00:40:37 Beautiful. I’m so glad we touched on this topic because it’s so important. And I, I don’t know if it’s more important for women or for men, right. Because men in neatly have had for centuries the training, you’ve got to get the money.
Speaker 3 00:40:54 You know what I’m saying? There’s no question about it. We got to go for that money. Okay. Sometimes to their own detriment. Okay. But as women, there’s a tendency to at least I had that for sure. Like, uh, yeah. I mean, the money’s going to come and we flow and you know, and this kind of ideas, until, as I said, I was staring down the barrel of a potential second bankruptcy where I thought, oh, I was expecting my husband to save me, you know? And, and I’ve let my, I’ve lost myself on this level. And I need to take charge of myself. I need to take charge of my responsibility to myself, to be financially standing on my own two feet. It was really tough period in my life because I had to, I really have had to what I call own my B S and I had look at myself in the mirror and say, you know, Hema, come on, you’re better than this. Right. Um, you know, go after what you truly want. Like, what do you really want? And what I wanted was to be able to, to stand up on my own feet, be financially independent, doing what I love. Yes,
Speaker 2 00:42:07 Yes,
Speaker 3 00:42:08 Yes. But I thought, I need to figure this out. I need to figure this out and how I figured it out was getting help. I couldn’t figure it out by myself. So there’s anyone listening to this? There, there, there is always people like myself, like Johnny, like other people that have gone past their limitations and therefore they can show you how to do that. You don’t need to figure this out on your, on your own. No. Get someone to walk the path with you that you, that you feel connected to. And, you know, I’m so glad that I’ve, you know, had the courage to, to do own my BS and say, listen, this has to change. I can not have this repeat in five years. Right. Um, at my 40th birthday, I was like, this is ridiculous. I do not want to be here at 45.
Speaker 3 00:42:59 And I certainly don’t want to be here at 50. Right. Yeah. And I intended this. So by 50, I blown my own mind. I’ve completely lost my relationship with money. I’ve created independence. I’ve created success. I work with my husband together very happily. And we have just completely changed our lives because we changed our belief system. Yeah. And, and my belief was, I don’t care about money. I care about peace. That was my belief. Okay. And it wasn’t helping me. So I got rid of that one. I care about peace and money. Okay. I can care about both at the same time. It doesn’t make me a bad person.
Speaker 2 00:43:42 Let me ask you a hemo. If listeners want to learn more about what you do and how you show up in the world and, uh, or if they just really enjoyed your energy and kind of want to just connect with you in some way. Uh, what do you,
Speaker 3 00:43:57 Okay. So I recommend that you would go to the, my Hema mindset.com
Speaker 2 00:44:06 In the show notes, for sure.
Speaker 3 00:44:07 Yeah. So T H E and then my name Matt Hema, and how to spell this is just think of mama with a high. Yeah. So ma H I M E my Hema, um, mindset.com and what you will have as a juicy, wonderful gift is you will have my 21 day meditation challenge. So you can start connecting to your soul purpose to day. So you can start feeling the power of the now and feel the presence of that simplicity that is love and beauty inside of you. And yes, I can get you there within, you know, 10 do I think most of the recordings are like about 13 minutes a day for 21 days, all you need to do is commit and you can do it on your own. It’s just the journey you can download and do it on your own. And it’s going to give you more peace, more, love, more joy.
Speaker 3 00:45:07 That’s what people tell me that do this. So it’s not me blowing my own trumpet. That’s what people have told me. They’re like, oh my God, this challenge is amazing. Uh, and it’s just a few minutes and it’s completely free. So you can go over there and get rocking with that. And then of course you can join us at the Mahima mindset page on Facebook, um, as well. And also, uh, I think it’s Mahima mindset on Instagram. Yeah. My mindset on Instagram. So I would love to meet you, enjoy the challenge. I hope you have fun with it. Um, you can do it also with friends and family as a 21 day challenge to just connect to deeper inner peace.
Speaker 2 00:45:43 Yes, exactly. And as I mentioned in the beginning of the show, you know, Mahima has spent over 10,000 hours in meditation practice. And so this is something that she has dedicated her life to so many, not only episodes of refractive, but so many of the listeners of refractive are just embarking on this spiritual journey and are finding the courage to go inside and find the stillness. So if meditation is something that’s challenging, we’ve talked about this before on other episodes of medicine, meditation is something that you feel is, is, is, uh, as a challenge for you. Uh, definitely go to the Mahima mindset.com and take a look at this challenge because 21 days is enough time for you to build a habit. And so having someone to guide you through, uh, walking into your stillness and, and growing comfortable in that spot is invaluable. So thank you for that behemoth.
Speaker 3 00:46:38 You’re welcome. Thank you everyone for your time here. Thank you, Johnny. For, as I said, continuing to be a beautiful light in this world, bringing these conversations to people, so really appreciate it. I’ve had a lot of fun. Thank you so much joy.
Speaker 2 00:46:54 Yes. Thank you everyone. Remember that as you go out into the world and you find people who are struggling and who are trudging along the path of a difficult life, uh, we are all just doing the very best we can. So be good to each other and never pass up an opportunity to aim your light. Make it a good one. Bye everybody.
Speaker 3 00:47:15 Beautiful.
Speaker 2 00:47:17 You have been listening to refractive podcast, and this is Johnny G. If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, do me a favor, give it a share on social media, or if you’re in the podcast app, give it a, if you’re on YouTube, click like it really does make a difference in the search results. I am a speaker, coach and facilitator based in Washington, DC, but I work in person and remotely with people who are ready to step with clarity into their most authentic life. If I can be of service, reach out to me, re***************@***il.com . Have an amazing day. Be good to each other and always remember, aim your light.

We might not realize it for years! If we aren’t staying present, pursuing our purpose gets in the way of the full, joyful life we deserve. We can get so caught up in chasing an “ideal” life purpose that sounds good on paper that we never get to actually take steps towards living it out. Daniel Mangena, best-selling author, speaker, and facilitator, reminds us that finding our purpose is pointless if we aren’t following our inner guidance all along the way. Dan describes how “purpose” is a static concept that helps us chart a path, but that our spirit, soul, or higher self doesn’t subscribe to the idea of a lifelong mission statement. Ultimately, forcing a life to fit a pre-determined or outdated purpose is frustrating, painful, and keeps us out of the flow of life and abundance.

Find more information about Dan at www.dreamwithdan.com

Find Dan’s books by clicking here and his podcast, “Do It with Dan” here.

For similarly themed episodes, try: Free Yourself from Limiting Beliefs, Guided Meditation: What’s My Purpose, or Surrender to Greatness.

For more information on host Johnny G, visit www.refractivecoaching.com.

Episode transcript follows. Please excuse any misinterpretations by the transcription software.

This episode, Spiritual Visions, features Marlon Fixico, at times a reluctant participant in his own fantastic spiritual path. Marlon, born into the Cheyenne and Seminole tribes, recounts the colorful, complicated, seemingly indirect path that led him from Native American spirituality, to Christianity, to a turn from Christianity, and finally to his own rich formula of spiritual living. Descended from a long line of spiritual leaders and healers, and an out gay man who wrestled with his rejection by society and religion during the AIDS epidemic, Marlon shares his experiences with sweat lodges, visions, auras, alcoholism, prophecies, a near-death experience in which he was reunited with his parents and brother, and his next spiritual chapter: becoming a Medicine Man.

Find Marlon on Facebook by searching his name or clicking here.

For similarly-themed episodes, try “From Addiction to Self Acceptance” or “Making Peace with our Dark Side.”

Contact Johnny at jo****@****************ng.com or visit www.refractivecoaching.com for more information on services to help you step into your authentic power for a life that feels right.

Transcript follows- please excuse any errors from the transcription software.

Hello, everyone. And welcome to another episode of refractive podcast. Today I have with me, a dear friend, Marlon Fixico. He is a descendant on both his mother and his father’s side of spiritual leaders and medicine people. He is part of the Cheyenne tribe and the Seminole tribe. How are you Marlon? Welcome to refractive.
I’m feeling good today. Thanks, John.
I am delighted that you are with us, you and I had an opportunity to visit not long ago. And you were telling me just a little bit about, uh, some of your spiritual history and some interesting things that happen to you. And because refractive is a show, that’s all about people kind of stepping into their most authentic selves and listening to their inner guidance and being in touch with kind of that high level, knowing of what our souls want for us in life. I thought you would be a really, um, a valuable guest on the show to share with listeners some of your experiences in that. And so I, I guess I’ll just kind of run down, uh, a basic premise of the episode today and then I’ll start digging in. Does that sound okay? That was good. All right. So you had, uh, told me when we were together, uh, just a little bit about your background and how your culture had influenced your spiritual life, your spiritual journey, the awakening that you’ve had and all of that. So I would love for you to just take us through that journey for you. What was your spiritual path like?
Speaker 3 00:02:24 So, um, as you said in the introduction, I come from a long line of spiritual leaders and medicine people. Um, I would go down to the last, but it’s pretty extensive, but just suffice to say, uh, even my, uh, immediate parents, uh, were very spiritual and healers. Um, they, uh, never like advertise that, that that’s what they were that’s just too, they were, and I think that’s a mark of a true spiritual leaders. You don’t, they don’t need to tell you that they are, you just, somehow people just find out that they just know. And, uh, so I grew up a lot with my Cheyenne grandmother, my mother’s mother, and, uh, in my formative years. And she’s the one who taught me a lot of the things that I later in life, uh, rediscovered, so to speak. Um,
Speaker 2 00:03:39 Well, spirituality, something that, um, in your earlier life, like when you were an adolescent, uh, were you open to kind of receiving that wisdom from your family?
Speaker 3 00:03:50 Uh, I would say there was a turning point when I was around 12 where I stopped caring about spiritual things previous to that. Uh, I used to go to, uh, in the summertimes. Uh, I grew up in Oklahoma city, but my grandmother lived in rural Oklahoma and in the summertimes, I would spend it with her and we’d go to, uh, Indian ceremonies, do a lot of camping and fishing and just out in nature a lot. And then, um, uh, go to a lot of powerhouse. So I was raised around spiritual ceremonies. Uh, people would come and they’d have all my prayer services at my grandmother’s house. And, you know, I was a little kid, I didn’t really know what was going on. I just knew they had this big breakfast in the morning, which I really enjoyed. Uh, I would sleep through the prayer service and wake up in time for breakfast.
Speaker 3 00:04:50 Yes. But, uh, but I remember at one point I was about, I don’t remember exactly when seven or eight, um, first or second grade I was, I was spending the summer with my grandmother and this white lady came and she, and grandma had this long talk. I didn’t know what they’re talking about or the next thing I knew I was going to Sunday school. I didn’t know what Sunday school I just got in the car with this white lady. And we went to this building where all these white people were and they were talking about something called God. And then after I got home that day, I asked her mother, what, what was God? I said, they kept talking about God at that place. She said, well, in the Cheyenne language, the word for God, we call God is my hail hail means. Um, we don’t know, we don’t know what it is, but it’s everything.
Speaker 3 00:05:51 And from that point forward, it just stuck with me as a S you know, seven or eight year old kid. Grandma said, that’s what it was. And that’s what it was word for God. You know what I mean? I don’t know what it is. It’s just that it’s everything, it’s everything. And so, um, for a long time, I, I would hear people speaking about God and that’s what was in my mind. But around 12 years old, 11 or 12, my father, he was an alcoholic. And he stopped drinking at that age, my age, and, um, started going to church. And once you started going to church, you said, I couldn’t go spend any more time with my grandmother because she was pagan and she was going to go to hell. So I knew that was wrong, but, you know, he was dad. So, uh, I started going to a different kind of church.
Speaker 3 00:06:47 It was a native American church, but it was Southern Baptist. It was kind of a conjunction of Southern Baptist, native American. They spoke, our language is saying our language, but, um, it was basically Southern Baptist. Okay. And, um, so I adapted to that. And then I started adopting this idea, you know, they, they talked about from time to time that, you know, men shall not lay with another man that is abomination. So I, you know, that was like emblazoned in my brain, uh, because I like men and how I was, I was around 11 or 12. Yeah. And, uh, and it, and it continued on until I left home at 18. But, uh, I was, I struggled for all those years with my spirituality and sexuality. I knew that there was God. I prayed to God to change me all the time, but, um, you know, the have never happened.
Speaker 3 00:07:55 So, um, I went to college and, um, I was in love with my best friend who was straight, nothing happened between us, but, um, eventually, uh, he got a girlfriend and, you know, we split up, uh, we didn’t spend as much time together. And, uh, I found a woman who was just as crazy as I was. And I told she was the first person I told that I was gay. Yeah. And we became best friends. She didn’t care. She was like, oh yeah, that’s fine. It’s not a big deal to me. So we stayed together for like six months, just hanging out and getting drunk and having fun and going to school and everything that people do in college. But, uh, when time came to graduate, uh, I couldn’t imagine my life without her. So, uh, I told her that and she said, well, does that mean you want to get married?
Speaker 3 00:09:03 That’s a proposal for you right there. But I thought about it. I said, no, that makes sense. Okay. Yeah, let’s get married. Let’s do it. And so, uh, so we were married five years. We have two kids. And then, um, eventually the alcoholism took its toll on our relationship and our marriage. And, uh, I left her and I went to Washington DC and became gay. No, I was already gay, but, uh, I was just, it was a 1983 and it was at the height of the aids crisis. And, you know, it was just getting to be a big thing. I remember that time magazine came out with a big article, had the word aids on the front. And, um, I just thought I was going to die. I mean, I had a Christian upbringing that said that what I was doing was wrong and I said, well, it’s wrong then I’m just gonna go for it.
Speaker 3 00:09:59 And, uh, I didn’t care. Uh, I left my children, which were the most important thing to me, but then, um, it was, it was horrible. And so, um, I drank for about 18 years, I was 37 when I got sober in Washington DC. And, um, I was at that point that I was sober for about a year. And then I started seeing things and having visions and having dreams. Yeah. And my, uh, my grandmother was, was, she would come to me in my dreams a lot. Um, my, I had a therapist too, who did, um, guided meditation and my grandmother appeared during his guided meditation. She was right there. I was like, okay. It was funny because he would talk to her. He would say he would ask me a question and I, and she would answer. And so I would just tell him what she said.
Speaker 3 00:11:06 Uh, but she’s always been with me. She’s like, um, my guardian angel. Yeah. Um, and she was, uh, she’s the Cheyenne, uh, grandmother. So, um, on my dad’s side, I trace this back to before the Seminoles were transferred from Florida. Uh, and my ancestor was what was the leader of the tribe at the time when they were being transferred. And my, uh, uh, my grandmother’s, uh, my father’s male lineage, that was him, but my grandmother on his mother’s side, her, uh, ancestor was a medicine man who was partners with the leader who came. So they suck. We have all this connection between the leaders in spiritual people. Yeah. And the tribe really, uh, have, uh, a lot of myths and stories about medicine people. Uh, they can control the weather, uh, they can make glove potions and they can make you sick. So, um, there all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 3 00:12:27 Anyway, I grew up in, uh, all this with my, my grandmothers, my mother’s line. There were, uh, well, the biggest one, his name is black kettle. He was a peace chief who was killed by George Custer back in 18 80 18, 68 in Oklahoma. It wasn’t Oklahoma yet. But, um, so, uh, and then my grandfather, uh, her husband, um, he was the first leader of the, uh, native American church, which people know as a pod church. Okay. And, um, I don’t know if people know, but I mean, there’s a lot of research being resurgent research on, uh, hallucinogenics and how helpful it is, especially to addicts. Um, the trouble with what happened in the sixties was that they were using it in a proper way, uh, recreationally. And it was never meant to be recreational. So anyway, uh, the native American church has a very strict, uh, guidelines on how to use a pod.
Speaker 3 00:13:43 And, uh, and then in ceremony and, uh, anyway, so my grandfather was, he was, um, on a tribal council. He was the first president of the, uh, um, native American church. And I had all these things on me growing up, you know, in grade school, we took Oklahoma history and they talked about black kettle. And, um, I knew he was my ancestor, but after more and more, I learned about all these people in my ancestors. It was like, it was like this heavy burden. It’s like, oh, what am I supposed to do? And my mom, she wanted me to become a preacher, a Seminole Baptist preacher, which I did do some preaching when I was a teenager. But, um, I mean, I was one of the biggest hypocrites. I was having sex with boys at the same time, going to church preach out. But, um, but, uh, so I would build against all of it.
Speaker 3 00:14:48 And so when I, by the time I, uh, went to college and I started drinking, uh, it was, I was out of the, I wanted to get out from underneath of being that legacy. I didn’t want to be a spiritual person. I didn’t want to be a spiritual leader. I didn’t want to learn medicine. I didn’t want to do any of it. And then, um, and then, you know, fast forward, 18 years later, I, uh, got sober and all these things come to me. And, uh, I don’t tell us too many people, but I can see people’s auras. Uh, I remember when I told my therapist that, and I thought I was, you know, I had to be honest cause I, you know, that’s how therapy works. Yeah. And so, uh, he showed me these pictures from this book by, I forgot her name, but anyways called hands of light.
Speaker 3 00:15:46 And it was all about studying, uh, supernatural phenomenon and, and, uh, she had pictures of people with auras and I was like exactly what I saw. And so I didn’t feel so crazy after he showed me that. Oh yeah. Yeah. And then, uh, and then I, I got sober through a 12 step programs and the most, and the more I heard them talk about the principles of the program, the more I heard my grandmother, um, the things that she taught me, she didn’t sit down and say, this is this, and this is that she just lived it. And then I watched her and, and um, so when they would talk about things, so that’s what my grandmother used to do. That’s what my grandmother used to say. And then I came a little bit by a little bit, it came back to me and, uh, I realized that, um, whether I wanted to be a spiritual person or not, I was, yeah. I mean,
Speaker 2 00:16:49 We all are, that’s the thing.
Speaker 3 00:16:52 So, um, I started becoming more, just open. I don’t, you know, there’s a lot of, uh, in college, I studied engineering and I really love physics and there’s a, there’s a scientific explanation for everything.
Speaker 2 00:17:11 Oh, I can’t believe you’re going there. I can’t believe Marlin because let me tell you something like, okay, I am just enraptured with all of these concepts of how spiritual phenomena are really manifestation or physics, actually it, on this plane manifests from spiritual phenomenon, right? Like the whole idea of waves and frequency and the idea of even things like surface tension. And there’s just so many of physics that is mirrored, uh, to spiritual phenomena that we read about and that we hear about that. It, it blows your mind if you go down this rabbit hole. So you just got me really excited when you mentioned, sorry, go ahead. Keep going, keep going.
Speaker 3 00:18:06 That’s okay. I, you just remind me one of the big things for me is the idea of, um, what the nature of light is, you know, it’s like, is it a wave or is it a linear, uh, particle? Yeah, but it’s like, it’s both. And that’s what spiritual, it’s a spiritual, spiritual things are paradox. So I can be one thing and the other thing at the same time, but it can, and it is. And I, you know, I used to share that with, with my sponsees over and over again, this is like, uh, how can you be sad and happy at the same time? You can,
Speaker 2 00:18:47 There is a writing by Zuckoff who, if people were fans of Oprah, they’ll, they’ll recognize Gary Zukav because he was a guest over the years, many times when she had spiritual, uh, topics. But he talks about how, um, in this interesting situation where light is both a wave and a particle that, um, whether it appears as a wave or as a particle is dependent upon the intention of the observer. Um, that the way the, um, experiment is designed dictates whether light appears as a particle or as a wave. And that this is a beautiful parallel to our lives, that we are the creator, we are the architect, and that it is our intention of how we wish to view an object that causes the object to take that form. And it just, oh, I just, I love it. It gives me goosebumps. I have goosebumps right now when I let myself sink into that. So I love this and I didn’t know that you had that scientific background.
Speaker 3 00:20:01 Yeah, it really, so, I mean, the point of that for me is that there are, there are many supernatural things that I have experienced in my lifetime and, um, that are seemingly unexplainable. But if you, if I were to told a scientist, some of the things that I experienced, they could figure out it was scientific explanation. But to me, it doesn’t matter if you can explain it or not. To me, it’s just, I don’t know. Yeah. I don’t know what it is, but it’s everything. So, uh, uh, I’ll just to back up a little bit. I went, when I was, um, in college, I was before I met my then wife, um, I was about 1918 or 19. I can’t remember, but I had a roommate. I was 19. It was my second year. And my roommate was, uh, 35, which I thought was old at the time.
Speaker 3 00:21:05 And he was from, um, um, reservation in Wyoming when we have a reservation. And, um, he was, uh, apprentice turned medicine, man. And so, uh, on spring break, he invited me to come to come home with him. And so I did, and we, during the week we built three sweat lodges. Uh, he was the medicine man that he worked with, uh, what he would, you know, whenever somebody would need a healing or somebody was sick or somebody who was in trouble. So we would go out and have a sweat lodge at their house. One of them was actually in the mountains. It was beautiful. But, uh, the third one, uh, uh, I went in and the medicine man said that he saw that I had seven spirit people that had, they told him that they had come in to the world when I was born and that they would be with me until the day I died and that if I needed anything, they would, if I asked them, uh, in a proper way that I would, they would help me.
Speaker 3 00:22:18 And, uh, they would do their best to protect me. Not that they, if I did some stupid things that my medicine, man, didn’t say that he said, you can choose wrongly and you might die. I’m not saying they’re going to protect you from everything, but they’ll protect you, uh, as much as they can. And so, um, that, wasn’t great for an alcoholic because I really put them to the test. I mean, at times, but, but, uh, the last thing was that he gave me this, um, it was like a root. Some of my friends said it’s probably valerian root, but I don’t know. I didn’t ask him. It was just a really, really tiny piece of wood to me. He told me that you want it and then spit it in my hands and then wipe it on my face. And, uh, he said, don’t do this until you’re ready to go to bed.
Speaker 3 00:23:14 And so, uh, my friend who I went there with was sitting right next to my bed. Um, and I did what he said, and I rubbed my face with that stuff. And I laid my head down and I went right to sleep. And next thing, next thing I know I was, I was flying in the air and I was, and I was freaked out. I was like, holy moly. And I started to say something and out of my mouth came this Eagle screen. And I was like, what is that? And then, uh, I looked at my arms and they were wings and I could feel the wind holding me up in the air as I glided on the, on the wind. And I looked around and I saw a forest, my saw mountains. And, uh, I went and laid, I went and landed on a, on a branch.
Speaker 3 00:24:06 It was a pine tree branch. And I could feel the weight of my body as it landed on the branch. And I grabbed it with my claws. I mean, all these little minute details, I still remember to this day. And then I looked in and saw these mountains and I decided to go to the mountains. I wanted to go, ha CII could go. So I started going through the mountains and then beneath me, I saw a river and I could see the sunlight rippling off the top of the little, uh, waves on the, on the river. And I could see beneath the surface and there was a salmon. It wasn’t real big, but it was, it was a good size. And I thought I could pick up that salmon. And the salmon said, uh, well, if you could catch me and I said, what? I didn’t know, salmon could talk.
Speaker 3 00:24:57 Uh, and so the doc either. And then, so, um, I said, uh, can I catch you to eat? And he said, well, if you can catch me, you can eat me. And so I went down and it was real easy. I caught it, but he started to flip-flopping all over the place. And I had a good hook on him. I’m in my claws into him, but he’d knocked me off balance. And I landed on a sandbar in the middle of the river. And I thought I was going to break my wing or something, but I just tumbled. And with him still in my claws. And, uh, it didn’t hurt. It’s like, wow, that was interesting. And so then I started eating the salmon and then I could still taste how delicious it is and my mouth let me to this day, I love salmon. And, um, now all of a sudden over this Ridge, uh, there was a big bear and he was all growly.
Speaker 3 00:25:55 I want that. I want that fish. And I just looked at him and I said, I’m done I’m for it. You can have dressed. So I just, and I just took off and the bear came down and ate the rest of the fish. Yeah. And, um, I flew to the mountains and I float higher and higher and higher. And I remember I couldn’t go, I couldn’t go any higher. And I just landed on a cliff, this little ragged edge. And then I looked in, I felt like I could see the whole world. It was like forever. I could see, I could see cities and fields and other mountains. And it was just, it was amazing. And that’s when I woke up and my S my, I told my friend that, and, um, and my friend said that the Eagles are your family and that, uh, all the birds are your cousins. Your first cousins were related to everyone, all the animals. If you ever need any help with you, the, the Eagles will show up and they will help you. And, uh, I can’t tell you how many times I was lost either emotionally or physically and Eagle would show up. Uh, when I buried my son, uh, three equals came over and, uh, showed me the spot where I was supposed to bury him. And, um, so, uh, I have a real affinity for Eagles. Yeah,
Speaker 2 00:27:32 That’s powerful. So what, uh, being at such an early age, right? You were maybe 19, uh, when that happened. Um, did, were you ready for that to influence you life or did that have to come back later and influence your path at a, at a later time? Mm,
Speaker 3 00:27:51 Thanks for saying that. I forgot to tell you the last part of the message for the medicine, man was you are a powerful spiritual leader and your people need you, and you can start right now today, but if you don’t, you can go the other path and there’s no guarantee that you’ll live, but if you do live, you’ll still be the leader you’re supposed to be, but it’s up to you. And so, uh, of course I chose the other, other path,
Speaker 2 00:28:25 The party path, the party
Speaker 3 00:28:27 Pash. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:28:29 I’m familiar with that path.
Speaker 3 00:28:31 So, so yeah, it, it, didn’t, didn’t, I just sort of, I tucked it away in my mind that as a way to, I don’t know, it was like, I felt invincible, which is not a good thing. It’s like, it made me take really stupid choices. Yeah. And do things that I shouldn’t have done. I mean, I was 64 years old. I came, uh, into, uh, out gay man in 1983. And I don’t know how many times, how many people, how many men I had unprotected sex with and I’m HIV, HIV negative. Yeah. So it’s like all my friends that I lived with back then, they’re all dead. Yeah. And, uh, most of the night of aids and, um, I don’t know how I’m not, I’m not, I’m not for a reason. And I accept that. So where does,
Speaker 2 00:29:38 Okay then, like, what is your, now that you have the experience of recovery to kind of clear your mind and clear your spirit and you have these formative experiences, how did, uh, how did your spirituality finally take shape?
Speaker 3 00:29:55 Well, I, part of a part of me is missing. I’ll be honest. I have a part of me belongs in Oklahoma, and I have every intention of moving back there, you know, before the end of the year, hopefully. Yeah. I, um, there are ceremonies and there’s other things. I just feel drawn that there’s, whatever part of my next journey is, is there. Um, but in the meantime, uh, I spent a lot of time in Washington, especially I spent 18 years of my sobriety in Washington, uh, working with, um, other addicts and alcoholics, you know, mostly men, mostly gay men, but there was a handful of straight people and then a handful of women. And, um, I, I just shared whatever I have with them, my sponsees. And now that I’m in Idaho, I moved back because my ex wife was dying and my children wanted to be close to her before she passed away.
Speaker 3 00:31:06 And so, um, now she’s gone, that’s come. I want to move back to Oklahoma cause she’s gone. But my grandchildren are the most important thing to me, everything that I have, I want to pass on to them so that they can pass it on. So, um, uh, there’s a lot of, I mean, when I go back to Oklahoma, that one of the things that medicine people do is kind of like a priest. It’s like, when people are sick, you go pray for them. And when people die, you go and officiate their, um, their funerals. And then, you know, people have celebrations, your it’d become like a MC for their family to talk and, and keep people moving and going and, um, and just be an advisor to people who are seeking spiritual advice. So that’s where I feel drawn to next. Okay.
Speaker 2 00:32:04 Um,
Speaker 3 00:32:06 So does that answer your question?
Speaker 2 00:32:08 Absolutely. And so you mentioned speaking of, kind of the, the phenomena aspect that you’ve experienced, you mentioned last time we talked that you had wood. I don’t know if it’s appropriate to call it a near death experience or what, um, but you said that you went into a coma, um, in a period of hospitalization in the past year and that while you were in a coma for a period of time, you had, uh, some experiences that have been formative for you. So would you tell us a little bit about how all that came about?
Speaker 3 00:32:43 So, um, I can track to COVID at the beginning of December and I was in a coma for, um, well, I woke up from my coma on, um, December 24th, Christmas Eve. Okay. Um, and, um, while I was in the coma, just before I woke up and I did die twice, I, they kicked me off the ventilator and I wasn’t able to be there, my own, my heart stopped. And so they put me back on and then they did that twice. And so the third time they said, we’re going to take them off if he doesn’t make it, it doesn’t make it. And so a third time I kept on going. So I walked back up. But, uh, in that last part, I don’t know. I mean, every time is different when you’re just in a dream state. Yeah. So, um, I saw it was, I was in the hospital room where I was, and I in the hallway was a bright light coming from the end of the hallway. I couldn’t see the light. I just could see it lighting up the walls.
Speaker 2 00:34:03 And you see your body, you mean like where you, like looking down on yourself or where you, as if you were laying in the,
Speaker 3 00:34:08 I was laying in the bed. Okay. I was laying in the bed and, um, I could hear my parents. I was my mother first. And, um, she told me that everything was going to be okay and that I could come with them. Um, and, uh, they would take care of me and, and I felt already a sense of warmth and calmness. Um, and my, and then I have a younger brother who’s 10 years younger than me. He passed away two years ago and he was there and he said, yeah, why don’t you come? And we’ll have a great time. And I really wanted to be with him, uh, too. And then my father, my father being my father, there’s typical of him. So he, it kinda got onto my mom and he said, quit trying to tell him what to do my own mind since you’re influencing him.
And my mom said, well, yeah, I am. But, um, and she said, I want him to come with this. He’s he’s, he’s, he’s not doing really well. And that said, he’ll be okay. I said, what’s, but it’s up to him. And he, and then he spoke to me directly. He said, son, if you want to come with us, you can come with us. Um, but if you don’t want to come, you don’t have to, it’s up to you. And I thought about it for a minute and I almost decided to go. And then, and then I remembered my two daughters and their mother had just died a year before that. And I didn’t want to put him through that. I just kept thinking that I can’t put them through that. So I said, no, I’m going to go back. And, um, so, and then I got I’m back.
Um, but ever since then, I, um, it’s hard to describe my feelings and attitudes toward death. I could tell you that it’s, I don’t have any fear, but it’s more than that. It’s just like, it’s a part of breathing. Dying is a part of breathing. Uh, it just, I mean, you stop and, uh, it’s okay. You just stop this thing, whatever we call life. And then you go to the next thing, whatever it is. I don’t know what it is, but I’m not afraid of it. And, you know, um, it sounds kind of morbid, but, um, you know, I look forward to going when it’s, when it’s my time, I really look forward to it. It’s like, it’s something, something to look forward to, not to something to be afraid of. That’s part of it too. Yeah.
Would you say that, um, would you say that you feel kind of a shifting in your mission after that, since you kind of specifically thought of your children and maybe even grandchildren and, uh, and that’s why you made the choice to come back, or is that not a part of your, uh, your math right now? Um,
Speaker 3 00:37:28 I, I don’t really think it is. Uh, I was reading an article about different types of people. We talk about that in the program. Uh, there, you know, there’s all kinds of people with different sort of personality traits, and I’m the type of person who is a very, uh, spontaneous, uh, uh, I don’t like to make plans. Uh, and, uh, you know, I don’t mind having a goal, something to work towards, but it’s gotta be very big. It can’t be like concrete because it feels like, you know, it’s like if I make a plan to make, you know, a hundred million dollars and that’s one thing, if I make a hundred thousand dollars walk, wow, I made a hundred thousand dollars. Uh, and I didn’t even make a hundred million dollars. I don’t care, but it’s like, it, it’s more of a, what I call in math vector.
Speaker 3 00:38:27 It’s like, it’s a direction to go. It’s not something that I, uh, want to necessarily achieve. And so, um, so having all this, this, uh, near to the experience, um, it just sort of reinforces that, you know, life is short. I don’t know what’s going to happen around the corner. I’m gonna wake up in the morning. And what my biggest experience I could share with people is that in the moment that I’m living is the moment that I know what I’m supposed to do next. Yes. Oh, keep going. It’s never failed me. I mean, there are many, many, many times when I was leading a meeting or, or, uh, one time I, when I was in college, I was a part of what’s called American Indian science and engineering society. And we always have a ceremony at the beginning of the annual conference and at the end of the end in Congress, and there was a Navajo, uh, student who was my, or had co-leaders.
Speaker 3 00:39:42 Uh, and so at the very last, uh, session, uh, we decided to put together, well, I brought a shell with some Cedar, a Sheba, a ball of water, the Navajos have this water ceremony, and we have the Sage, uh, Cedars ceremony. So, um, I brought Cedar and she brought the water and people, whoever wanted to share would come up to the center of the room. And there must’ve been like three, 400 people in that room. And it was the middle of a ballroom. And we sit and we were sitting in the center and they would come to the middle and we would, I would S uh, smudge them and she would sprinkle some water on them. And then, and then they would share, um, afterwards there was a man who said, uh, how did you guys come up with that ceremony? And we thought of it about 30 minutes before the session we just put together at the last second, I had had the shell on the Cedar and she had, she just took a ball from the, from the hotel.
And, um, we said, we didn’t know, we just did it. And he said, you have all the elements of a church. It was this, there was a smoke, uh, what we call incense. And then there was the water, uh, for like a baptism. And, uh, we didn’t even think of it that way. We just, we just did it. But that whole experience is, I mean, I, I, I remember hearing the people talk and it was like very deep and very moving and very powerful. Um, and, um, I knew that we were doing the right thing, but I didn’t know what we were going to do before we did it. And that’s has always stuck with me. Like whenever, you know, my sponsees would say, well, somebody who’s sponsoring, other people would say, I’m supposed to go talk to this new new person. And they want me to be the sponsor, but I don’t know what, what should I say to them? I said, don’t, don’t plan on it. Just, just go up and show up. You’ll figure it out when, when they start talking, you’ll know what that, what to say. That’s right. Has always worked for me. Yeah. Yeah.
Uh, you know, the answer is in the stillness, right? Like that’s what I believe that you have everything you could ever need to know inside you, if you’re just brave enough to go in and look for it, you know? So
Yeah. I like that- answer’s in the stillness.
Let me ask you, as we kind of ramp down towards the end of the episode, I, I realized when you and I were sitting together that I have such a lack of knowledge around, um, uh, well, I mean, native American culture in general, but like, especially what interests me at this point in my life is native American spirituality. And so, um, I’m gonna, I’m going to ask a question and you may not be prepared to answer this, so please feel free. Uh, but do you have any resources that you might recommend if there is a listener who’s interested in learning more about, uh, understanding that there are dozens and dozens and dozens of different, uh, perspectives within just the American native American spirituality. Right. But do you have any resources that you’d recommend for people who want to learn more about some of those unique journeys?
Yeah. I get asked this question from time to time. And, um, my response is that wherever you are, whoever is hearing this, as we’re talking on this podcast, wherever you are, there is a resource. Um, and if your heart is, I don’t want to say true or sure, I’m sure it is, but if it’s a really meant for you to be, you will find what you need to find. You know, the old teacher, I mean, the old thing is like, when this, um, the student is ready, the teacher will appear. And that’s basically how it works. Uh, every, you know, tribe, uh, different parts of the country are different. Yeah. And, uh, if you’re meant to, if you see someone someplace who looks native and you feel drawn to them, just go up to them and introduce yourself, say hello, and just become friends with them.
And then listen, get to know them. Don’t jump in first and say, well, I wouldn’t learn about native spirituality because, you know, there’s a lot of what we call, um, want to be Indians and a new H Indians, which we get, it’s a big turnoff. So, so if you’re real sincere about it, then get to know one-on-one a person. And I would say pray first, because once you put it into the universe, uh, the universe will respond. It’ll connect you with the right person that you’re meant to be taught by the things you need to know. And, um, because I mean, there’s all kinds of, I mean, you can go and find books on native American spirituality. I mean, go on Amazon and do that, but it’s all words. And it’s more than just words or knowledge it’s experience. It’s, it’s a one-on-one experience with other human beings. That’s what you’re really asking is for that connection to something you feel drawn to. I, I, I meet people all the time. We ever felt drawn to native American culture. And, um, I watched him, I watched him actually, you know, go and go to a powwow, go to a sweat lodge, go to Sundance, make friends with other native people. And, uh, they achieve what they want to achieve. There’s a lot of work to be done. W w Greg gladly have you, if your heart is in the right place. Yeah. That’s very rich. Good. Thank you, Marlon. I’m so grateful that you, uh, uh, came and shared some of your experiences with us today and, and opened open the, just open the book of Marlon up a little bit for us to read a few lines and yeah. And, and I’ll tell you, uh, if any listeners have any questions, just email them to me, Jo****@****************ng.com and I can get them to Marlon and I can get you an answer. And, uh, yeah. So with that model that I just want to again, say, thank you so much for coming on the show.
Speaker 3 00:46:44 I will say, uh, I don’t know if it’s jumping over you, but, um, I’m on Facebook. So Marlon Fixico just do a search for Marlon fix. You’ll find me. I’ve been on there for many, many years. Okay,
Speaker 2 00:46:59 Perfect. I will link that on the podcast notes then for anyone who opens their app and sees that perfect. All right, my friend, well enjoy the rest of your day. I’m sending you so much love and might. And, uh, you know, as always everyone remember to be good to each other and aim your light, take care. You have been listening to refractive podcast, and this is Johnny G. If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, do me a favor, give it a share on social media, or if you’re in the podcast app, give it a rating. If you’re on YouTube click, like it really does make a difference in the search results. I am a speaker, coach and facilitator based in Washington, DC, but I work in person and remotely with people who are ready to step with clarity into their most authentic life. If I can be of service, reach out to me, Jo****@****************ng.com have an amazing day. Be good to each other and always remember aim your light.

Ever since childhood we are taught to follow societal norms at the expense of our intuitive guidance. The impact of this habit is a loss of connection with our intuition- the very guidance that saves animals from tsunamis and that tells babies not to let certain people hold them. While it does take effort, learning to use intuition is not impossible. It’s not even difficult. This episode offers practical guidance on how to re-connect with our highest wisdom in order to step into the life we were born to live.

For similarly themed content, try Whose Expectations Are You Trying to Meet? and How the 12 Steps Can Help Anyone Heal and Grow.

Visit www.RefractiveCoaching.com for more information, or email host Johnny Guidry at jo****@****************ng.com

Automatic transcript follows. Please excuse any speech recognition errors from the transcription software.

Hello everybody. I hope you are having an amazing day today. Welcome to another episode of refractive podcast. Today’s episode is all about learning to use your intuition over the past couple of years, that I’ve been on this pretty intense spiritual journey. Intuition has become such a central part of my growth learning to understand what my intuition is, what my intuition is not and learning to find the faith and the courage to do what my intuition tells me to do has been a painful, but extraordinarily rewarding, um, part of my growth journey. And it has been what unlocks chapter after chapter of incredible life. For me today, I live a life that is fairly fringe. I would say, I don’t have a traditional job. I don’t have a traditional living arrangement. I don’t have traditional relationships per se. Um, and I have to say, I don’t necessarily aspire to those things while that status, that job, that relationship was such a driving factor for me, for decades of my life today, I recognize that a lot of the striving, a lot of the painful wanting that I was experiencing was a result of feeling inadequate and needing to be soothed.
And there’s certainly nothing wrong with needing to be soothed. But what I can say is that the decades of dedicating my life to getting the soothing that I felt I needed, it had dire consequences for my wellbeing on the best side of the continuum. It created a life that was unsatisfying and unfulfilling, a life that looked really good, but a life that felt empty and frustrating and lonely and confusing, confusing, because it seemed like I had everything I needed.
It seemed like I had everything I could want. And yet things still felt lukewarm on a good day, lukewarm on a good day, never did I get that feeling of warm nourishing satisfaction for more than a few minutes at a time. So learning to tap into my intuition to understand what’s wrong. What am I missing? What perspective am I not grasping right now? Why am I dedicating myself to efforts that are not yielding results? What do I even want? What matters to me? Do I even know what truly matters? You know, digging into all of these aspects of my being took a willingness to listen, to intuition, to discern what might be my ego chattering away and what might be true, inner, loving guidance from my highest place. And then finding the faith, finding the courage. Once I had discerned, what parts of this messaging I received were wholesome and loving.
And what parts of the messaging I received were coming from my fear based ego, uh, having the faith and the courage to actually do those things, even when they didn’t look like what the world told me would be a successful life. Even when the idea of doing them was terrifying and felt crazy, felt delusional by societal standards. It was eventually arriving at that place of faith and courage to do things that seemed unconventional. And again, fringe, even that allowed me to find freedom, freedom from the cage of ego that I lived in and that I still live in. Let’s be clear. I am not free of ego it, uh, but the door is open now and I can walk in and out of that cage, as often as I am willing to, and over time, it gets better and better and better today. I am not bogged down by fears of money today. I am not bogged down by fears of an unstable future. And the irony is that I have almost nothing.
I gave away almost everything I owned. I cashed out every financial tool I had. Um, and yet week after week, month after month clients find me money finds me, love finds me shelter. That is far beyond what I could have afforded. Even in my top earning, uh, period that finds me, um, vehicles find me, travel finds me, relationships, find me. And all of that is because I’m willing to say, I don’t know what this is. I don’t have access to see tomorrow, but at this moment it feels right to do X, Y, Z, and I do it and things flow. And it is this life of flow that feels peaceful and serene. So let’s talk about the actual logistics of accessing and developing an ability and a willingness to look at your intuition and, uh, apply some discernment and do what it says. First of all, intuition is our natural state babies know which people they like to be around and which people they don’t like to be around. Babies that have almost no life experience, almost no education from social interactions and things. They still know. I don’t want to be held by this person.
I don’t like what I’m feeling from this situation. They are unencumbered by societal pressures that say, wait, wait, wait, control your emotions, control your reactions and do it anyway. Even if it doesn’t feel good, right? So babies don’t have that, that prison yet. They have not yet been encouraged to disregard their intuitive guidance. Also babies live in the ever present. Now babies do not live in fear for the future. They do not live in regret for the past. And intuition is loud and clear in the ever present. Now, in fact, I can’t think of a situation where I would be able to access my intuition in the past or in the future when putting my mind in the past or putting my mind in the future, the only time I can access my intuition is when I feel into what’s happened in this moment, I allow all of my nerves to tell me what they’re feeling physically.
I feel into what is happening with the energy in my body. And I ask myself, what’s going on right now? That’s where my intuition lifts. Now over time as we go from babies to toddlers, to children, we are taught for various practical reasons, right? Like I am not saying that society is garbage and that, uh, all societal are, um, you know, are invalid. That’s not at all what I’m saying. We are taught for very practical reasons that, uh, no, it’s not good to use the bathroom right now when you to wait a little bit. No, we don’t have access to food right now. So just like, you know, dampen down your, uh, you know, your hunger signals for a few minutes because we’re not going to eat yet. No, you know, this person, I don’t really like this person’s energy, but it’s my teacher. It’s my neighbor.
It’s my dad. It’s my mom. It’s my brother. And I kind of have to be around this person. So I just need to learn to deal with the fact that I’m around someone I don’t like being with. Right? So we learn how to say yes, I don’t like what’s happening, but I am going to do it anyway. I am going to go through it anyway for practice logistical reasons of living in a society. And so the counterpoint to that is that when we are talking to not choose who’s to follow what our intuition tells us to do, and instead choose to follow what our mental logic tells us to do. Intuition becomes more and more difficult to here. It fades into the background and it’s no longer what we’re paying attention to when we’re a baby in our crib living only in the now it was nothing but intuition. But when we get to kindergarten and we have authority, figures and structures to fit into the intuition becomes quiet.
Speaker 1 00:11:48 And we, you are not able to grasp at that age. Well, maybe that’s not true. Maybe we are able to grasp, and we just don’t make that a priority. I don’t have anything to say on that, but we do not apply a system of balance between honoring our intuitive guidance and honoring the societal needs and systems that are around us. What we do is we push the intuition away and we say yes to the societal structures. And eventually we forget to hear what the intuition is telling us. Now, the intuition never stops. You know, the intuitive, nudges and guidance that we get never go away. They never stop. We just begin to let them fade into the background to a point where we don’t notice them. They become white noise. Now, sometimes a situation in life is so serious that our intuition leaps to the foreground.
Speaker 1 00:12:54 And we know, you know, don’t walk down this alley right now. Don’t say what it is you want to say to this person right now, it’s going to cause trouble. Don’t do XYZ that you were planning to do because it’s going to be harmful. So sometimes that intuition is able to leap with force into the foreground. But for the most part, it becomes white noise behind us. And we no longer listen to, or try to discern what’s happening with our intuitive guidance. The way I like to think about it. It’s like when we first get a car with satellite radio in it, in that car am radio and FM radio still work, they still offer the same exact quality that they offered yesterday. The same quality of entertainment, the same quality of content, the content that we were grateful to have before we used it, uh, there was no way that we were getting in the car without putting on our favorite radio station.
Speaker 1 00:13:57 And it was a natural part of the driving experience. Now, once we got satellite radio months and months, and months and months go by and we have not listened to am or FM radio. And over time, we aren’t sure what the good channels are anymore. We aren’t sure who the DJs are or who the talk radio personalities are anymore. We find it awkward and inefficient to even consider going into am or FM radio. We find it annoying. We find it old-fashioned. We find it impractical because with satellite radio, everything seems to be so much simpler. And so we forget how to really appreciate and enjoy the AMFM radio. That was such an important part of our life before. And so this is how it is with our intuition. We’re born listening to this AMFM radio understanding. We’re all the amazing stations are knowing who our favorite DJs and announcers and talk radio personalities are, you know, fluent and able to adjust that dial left and right to get to where we need to, to go.
Speaker 1 00:15:17 Uh, but then we move to the more sleek, sexy version of satellite radio. And we forget how to really use AMFM. Now the day that we choose not to pay for the subscription to satellite radio AMFM is still there. It still works. We know how to use it. We just need to get used to it again. We need to explore tune in and pay attention to what’s happening. And then all of the sudden we can go back and realize that while satellite radio is amazing am and FM radio are amazing too. And they still work just as sharply as they always have before. That’s how I like to think about it. So there are a couple of steps that I recommend based on my own journey, learning to tune into my intuition. Uh, so there are a couple of steps I recommend to you. If you feel you may have backed away from honoring your intuition and you may have forgotten somewhat how to hear and interpret what’s happening in your intuitive guidance. So let’s kick off with that. The first step is to ask for help, ask for help from God, your higher self, your spirit guides, your ancestors. It doesn’t matter, but send your intention out to the wider universe and say, I would love to get back in touch with my intuition. And I would love any guidance from my highest loving self, any guidance from the God of my understanding, any guidance from my spirit guides, my ancestors, whatever your belief system is. It doesn’t matter.
Speaker 1 00:17:16 Even if you are an atheist, ask for, ask the universe, ask the universe, you see that animals and babies follow their intuition effortlessly. Well, you are an animal and you were a baby. You are able to access that intuition. So just ask nature, ask earth, ask the universe for help. What does that even look like? It doesn’t matter. Just say it, just say and believe it. But you have to know, you have to know and have faith that you will get that help. You will get that guidance. Whether that guidance is coming from you, your inner knowing whether that guidance is coming from your concept of God, it doesn’t matter. Whatever feels right to you is perfect. The next step about this is understanding what faith is because you are sending out, you are sending out energy to the people around you. Why do babies not like certain people because we are all radiating out energy.
Speaker 1 00:18:33 And that energy feels different ways to different people. And so you are radiating out energy. Whether you know it, whether you want to or not, it doesn’t matter. Right? So I say, I am choosing to radiate out a certain type of energy. I am choosing to radiate out an energy that is in flow with the universe because that’s what intuition is about. I am choosing to radiate out a frequency of energy that is in flow rather than a frequency of energy. That is a block that is unmovable. That is stubborn. When you do that, the universe responds to you. The universe responds with love and compassion. And again, there is no space for argument here along religious or belief guidelines. It does not matter. It works just as well for atheist, as it does for Orthodox religious people. You get to decide your conception of how you relate to the universe.
Speaker 1 00:19:41 And it works no matter what faith does not mean you are comfortable with your beliefs. So let’s talk about that for a second. Faith doesn’t mean you believe a hundred percent all the time. If that were the case, it wouldn’t take faith. Faith is feeling the discomfort of your lack of knowing yet having enough reassurance to walk forward. Anyway. So for me, in my past, when my intuition told me to move into a semi nomadic lifestyle for this period of my life, that is extraordinarily uncomfortable for me, that is extraordinarily uncomfortable for me. It does. I recognize how it might look to the people around me who love me. I recognize the potential complications of a lifestyle like this. I recognize the financial limitations that I step into in a lifestyle like this. Um, but my faith says, even though I’m uncomfortable with it, even though I can’t lay out on a flip chart for you, exactly why it’s the right thing for me to do. It feels like what I’m being pulled towards. And that is a enough encouragement for me to do it, even if it feels uncomfortable. Okay. So when I say that tapping into your intuition requires faith. It doesn’t mean you can’t be skeptical, right? Faith is not the absence of skepticism. Faith is the willingness to come down on the side of your intuition, despite your skepticism.
Speaker 1 00:21:50 Now this episode is not about growing faith, so I won’t spend much more time on that. But if you are curious on how to grow faith, the simple, easy, no nonsense way to grow faith is to act as if you had faith act as if you had faith. And then after it’s all said and done, look back and did your faith serve you? Or was it misplaced? And as you come to see that your faith you’re acting as if you had faith served you and brought you to wonderful places, you will become more and more confident in taking the leaps that your intuition and your inner guidance asks you to take.
Speaker 1 00:22:44 Now, the next important part of learning to tap into your intuition is building the muscle of stillness. When I say building the muscle of stillness, I’m not just talking about meditation. Now, let me tell you, meditation is the number one thing you can do to increase your spiritual strength. It is the number one thing you can do to grow. And it is the number one thing you can do to develop a closer relationship to your intuition. So, uh, now there’s lots of resources on meditation. I’m not going to go into that. Um, but what I want to talk about today is that if you find sitting in silence to be prohibitively complicated or difficult for you, I’m not even going to go there. Let’s not focus on that. You can work on that over time. Here are other ways for you to build the muscle of stillness, Eckhart, totally who, if you aren’t familiar with .
Speaker 1 00:23:53 Um, I certainly recommend that you take a look at some of books, like the power of now, he recommends an exercise of, as you sit, still simply feel, feel your fingers from the inside and feel that slight, slight, slight sense of tingling in your fingers. You may need to close your eyes to block out other sensory input and it, you may need to breathe quietly and it may take a minute or two or three for you to get there. But if you sit there and you truly apply your effort to feel the tingling in your fingers, you will eventually feel it. So what is that tingling? Who cares? I don’t have an opinion on that. Is it the blood flowing through your veins and capillaries and maybe is it energy, coursing, back and forth? Well, I mean, technically blood flowing is energy. So yeah, I guess it is what it is, doesn’t matter, but it is a very powerful exercise to get into the stillness because in order for you to feel I’m doing it right now, so that’s why my eyes are closed.
Speaker 1 00:25:16 But if you, uh, in order for you to feel the tingling in your fingers, you need to be still, you need to not be paying attention to other things happening around you and simply place your energy and your intention into feeling what’s happening inside your hand. Now, once you’re able to do it, rather simply in one hand, try to do it in multiple parts of your body. Start with your other hand and feel for the energy tingling in both hands. Then maybe try your shoulders or try other parts of your body. And over time, you’ll be able to get to a point where eyes open or eyes closed. You can feel the tingling in your entire body, from the top of your scalp to your toenails. You can feel the tingling everywhere at once in your body. It is a very, very nice way to get into the stillness.
Speaker 1 00:26:22 If you find simply sitting in silence to be difficult, because you’re applying your effort and your energy to experience something, and it has a similar effect as silent meditation. So that’s one recommendation. I have, uh, it got to the point where I did it so often that I, while having a conversation could simply focus on my knee and feel it tingle or focus on my toe and feel it tingle or focus on my lower back or the top of my scalp and feel it tingle. And, uh, and that became identifying that tingle in targeted places became an important part of my visualization meditations. And it really enhanced a lot of my silent meditations for moving energy throughout my body.
Speaker 1 00:27:15 Another way to move into the stillness is, as you’re sitting here, find places you are clenching, find places where your muscles are tight. So obviously there are big muscles like your shoulders and neck, where it’s pretty easy to tell if you are carrying some tension there, but there are some hidden places where clenching often happens. For example, the top of your scalp. Now it’s so funny because it’s hard to believe that I’m clenching the top of my scalp all the time. But if I ask myself, is there a way to relax my scalp now more than it is? Wow. Like inevitably you can feel, I can feel the whole skin of my scalp relax. When I choose to do it. My forehead, my cheeks, my jaw, my lips. If you just, just ask yourself, am I carrying any tension in my lips? Can I Le can I let them melt like butter or like clay?
Speaker 1 00:28:32 Can I just let my lips just, just let go of them and let them hang there. You can feel how much you’ve been controlling these facial muscles. So going spot by spot through your head and releasing the tension of muscle group after muscle group is a great way to get into the stillness. Also the pelvic region. So your sex muscles and your anus and your paraniem and all of these there’s. I personally have a lot of tension that I carry from my abdominal muscles down. And so when I am able to ask myself, am I clenching anything in my pelvic region? I, I can just stop it. I can like release the muscles and I’m in the stillness for a few seconds. So even though this is only for a few seconds at a time, these, this is building the muscle of going into the inside of you.
Speaker 1 00:29:43 And if you go body part by body part, and look for clenching intention in all the parts of your body, by the time you finish that you’ve been meditating for like five or 10 minutes, just by going from region to region of your body, proactively releasing muscle tension. So this is a really amazing way of developing the muscle of going into the stillness. Another way of developing this is through journaling. Now, journaling is extremely powerful for me when I journal, I oftentimes I sweat because there’s a lot happening. I’m really accessing powerful emotions inside of me when I’m choosing to journal. So for me, it’s so powerful. I don’t like doing it because it’s an intense experience. Uh, and that’s why I don’t do it as often as I could. But journaling has an amazing ability to get inside your stillness. So there’s a couple of ways that I like to recommend people to use journaling as a form of stillness, right?
Speaker 1 00:30:50 A question that you would like insight towards and answer your question. So the question might be, why do I feel so uncomfortable with this coworker around? And you just write, you just write, if you don’t know what to write, keep repeating the last sentence, just write the last sentence over and over and over as many times as it takes for you to have something else to write. And you just keep writing, set a timer, 10 minutes is great, right? Set a timer and just write out freeform exactly what your inner wisdom feels and thinks about that. This is you getting in touch with your stillness inside, with your higher self, with your most loving center of wisdom. Now, once you’re able to go into the stillness and feel for intuition, it works the same way as journaling. You simply go into the stillness and you ask what feels right about this question.
Speaker 1 00:32:05 Should I move? Is it time for me to move on in this relationship? Am I in the right type of work? Is it fair? How I reacted in that, uh, conversation with so-and-so, you know, you just go into the stillness, maybe you have felt for the tingling in your body, or maybe you felt for tense muscles and you’ve released them. And you just say, what should I do about that? And you just sit there. Now, the trick is to actually listen for what pops up. I personally don’t hear verbal words. I don’t hear like words being spoken inside my head. I just get ideas. I get concepts that rise up. And so maybe you have a notepad where you can jot them down, or maybe you just remember them, but once you have these concepts, you’re not done because we as human beings with ego, with self-will in this situation, we have the ability to distort our intuition.
Speaker 1 00:33:28 We have stepped on top of our intuition for so long that it becomes extremely difficult to know, is this my highest sense of loving wisdom that is guiding me? Or is this my ego? So the next step, maybe the most important part of accessing your intuition is learning to do discern applying discernment. So discernment is defined as the ability to perceive, to recognize or to judge well, to perceive, to recognize or to judge. Well, there’s a friend of mine who, uh, he’s one of my spiritual partners. Um, and I’ll talk about it, spiritual partners in just a moment, but, uh, one of my spiritual partner spend several hours of meditation a day. Yeah. Now that is not at all what I’m encouraging you guys to do. That’s just his path for him. But, uh, through this meditation, he has arrived at a belief system for himself that in this life, the great lesson of this life on earth is learning to discern. You know, a lot of us are quick to say that, oh, well, the great lesson of life on earth is love, is unconditional love. And what he said was that through his inner seeking through his intuition, through his, um, um, journey of looking for inner wisdom and guidance, that the message he received was that no, the true journey of earth is learning to discern. It is not learning to love unconditionally because all there is is unconditional love.
Speaker 1 00:35:17 The challenge is discerning to choose the path of love, despite the influence of ego and fear. So anyway, so discernment is a really important part of the intuition process process. And so here’s the three steps that I recommend for discerning. If some sort of idea, concept message guidance you’ve received in the stillness is your true intuition. Or if it is ego, number one, does it feel right? Right. Does it feel right? Feel right? Does not mean feel good? Does it feel right? Does it feel correct? Does it feel like it is, uh, it’s it’s, it’s good for me, right? Like it it’s correct for me, number two, will this cause harm because your most loving source of intuitive wisdom would never, would never guide you to hurt yourself or others. There is a difference between setting a boundary and hurting, telling someone I can’t be with you is not harming that person quitting a job where everyone is short-staffed is not harming a person, right.
Speaker 1 00:36:50 There’s a big difference. Harm involves selfishness and malice. It involves me seeing myself as superior and therefore it is okay for me to step on you. You need to establish a boundary for my own intuitive guidance. For my own wellness is not an attack on another person. And that is not causing harm, even if they are upset by it. Right. So does it truly caused harm? Is this an instance of me hurting another person for my benefit, or is this an instance of me hurting myself for some secret ego weirdness the third step? Right. So does it feel right? Does it calm? Does it cause harm? Does it strengthen my ego? I had a situation where, um, I very, very much wanted a luxury winter coat. I spent the, I spent the winter in Maine last year and I have a winter coat. My sister gave it to me, to me.
Speaker 1 00:38:02 It’s really lovely and it’s very warm and it’s what I used, but I definitely wanted to have one of these $1,000 super luxury winter. And I was telling myself that there is nothing egoistically wrong with reveling in beauty and reveling in sensory experiences and appreciating the texture of a, of a fabric or a textile in slipping on a coat and just delighted by the joy of the sensory experience. And that’s true. That is true. Uh, and so, because I was using that angle of this situation, I really focused on getting this luxury coat. Um, and I tried to discern, I really did try to discern whether this was my ego talking me, wanting to feel special, me wanting to have some sort of status me, wanting to feel important as I wore it, me wanting to feel comforted by the implication of having a thousand dollar coat.
Speaker 1 00:39:14 Um, but what I forgot to ask is, is this going to boost my ego? And the fact was that coat would have boosted my ego. And so at the end of the day, um, even though there is nothing wrong with having luxuriant physical experiences for me, my motive was distorted. It was distorted. And it took a lot of discernment for me to get to the root of that. So once again, the three steps of discernment, does it feel right to you? Does it need to feel right to someone else? Does it feel right to you? Does it cause harm to you or to another? And does it, is it boosting your ego? If those three answers can be satisfactorily, uh, decided then your intuitive guidance is safe. And even if it’s scary, jump, jump.
Speaker 1 00:40:17 Now when I get into it guidance, I always liked to look for synchronicities that are encouraging. So if you’re not familiar with what a synchronicity is, look it up. I won’t go into the definitions and things like that here today, just for the sake of time. But I look for little signs as I move throughout the world. Maybe I pass a store with a word in the name of the store. That is exactly a word from what my intuitive guidance told me to do. Maybe someone is talking to me on a zoom meeting and they use that exact phrase. Maybe another friend calls me up and says, I don’t know what to do about this situation. And by the end of the conversation, they arrive at the same solution as what my intuition was telling me to do about something else. So I look for these overlaps, these what some people might call coincidence as I call them synchronicities signs from the universe signs, from my concept of a higher power or some sort of guidance that say yes, yes, feel comforted and take the leap.
Speaker 1 00:41:30 Another way is to ask for a spiritual partner’s perspective. I told you earlier that we would talk about spiritual partners. And for me, a spiritual partner is someone in my life whose spiritual journey I respect and trust. Respect is not the right word. I respect the spiritual journeys of everyone. I respect the spiritual journeys of, uh, of people who are causing a great deal of pain in other people’s lives today. Um, but, um, a spiritual partner is someone whose spiritual path feels more or less parallel to my own and whose judgment and discernment I trust. And so, so, uh, you know, that may or may not be someone in your family. Uh, for me, most of my spiritual partners are recent additions to my life. There’s people. There are people who, spiritual paths I have found to be comforting and inspiring. And yeah, I believe I understand how they make decisions and therefore I trust their guidance.
Speaker 1 00:42:38 And so, uh, it’s always a good idea to build up a little roster of spiritual partners. I call them, I tell them, you are now someone I consider to be a spiritual partner. And if you see me behave, even in a way that is not in line with my highest good, I hope you will tell me because I expect my spiritual partners to help me grow spiritually, you know? And so using their advice is an important part of that relationship. So once you’ve done all of this and I’ll run through it one more time, you are, um, asking for guidance from your concept of God, your, your highest self, your team of guidance, the universe, nature, mother earth, whatever it is you’re asking for help with your intuition. And you expect to get it. Number two, build the muscle of stillness. Meditation is amazing, but there are other ways to journaling feeling for the tingle in your body, you know, feel for clenching of muscles, intention, and release it area by area.
Speaker 1 00:43:53 Um, uh, you know, asking yourself the answers. Once you get into the stillness, simply saying, what should I do about this? What should I do about this? Be aware that your, your mind, your monkey brain is going to answer you right away. Oh, well, you should go do this. And maybe that is valid, but keep listening. What else? What else, what else listen for that intuitive guidance to come. And once you have collected, I did all the guidance, all the different options that are popped into your mind, it’s time to discern discernment means. Does it feel right? Does it cause harm? And is it boosting my ego? Once you have made a decision, keep a lookout for synchronicities. They truly make me feel loved and cared for by the universe, by my higher power. When I, when I see them, sometimes I’ll see my initials on a license plate.
Speaker 1 00:44:56 Sometimes I’ll see, uh, you know, I’ll pass a book in a bookstore. And the title of the book relates exactly to what I was thinking about. You know, and these are just little things. I’m not saying that this is my God telling me to do something. I’m just saying that they are little gentle nudges of love. That make me feel like I’m not alone out there. Um, you know, also, uh, never hesitate to ask a spiritual partner for their insights. You don’t need to follow it. Um, but if you trust this person’s path, then they likely have some good things to share with you. When all of that is done, jump, take the leap, take the leap, experience, the joy, the exhilaration, and the adventure of living by your intuition. It is the key to richness. It is the key to not being bogged down by the tragedy of the world.
Speaker 1 00:45:52 It is the key to being free. Despite everyone else being in a fearful panic, living by intuition, frees you from those conditions. It is, it might be the biggest gift that I have received so far on my journey. And I wanted to share it with you. So thank you everyone so much for joining me today. My name is Johnny G with refractive podcast. I am a spiritual coach and a career coach based out of Washington, DC. I’m a public speaker and a facilitator, and I help people get unstuck, drop their outdated limiting beliefs and move into an authentically empowered life. That feels red hot. If I can be of service to you, or if you just have questions, please reach out to me. You can email **@******************************ng.com. I should go out today and experience the world. As you find people around you who are having different levels of joy, some high and some low, remember we are all suffering out there. We are all damaged individuals trying to do our very best. So be good to each other.
Speaker 0 00:47:12 Take care. .

Life can feel so cruel. All that you hope for is often within sight, but seems to be kept just out of reach by fate, God, evil, or any number of other mysterious, powerful forces. It’s time to free yourself from limiting beliefs. This episode’s guest, Rebecca Wiener McGregor, is ready to spill the hot tea for you on why the life you want is so achingly close and yet so unreachable, and- heads up- you may not like the answer. Rebecca explains that YOU are the cruel tease that keeps your best life out of your grasp, and only you can stop it. You are the hero you’ve been waiting for! But wait- if you don’t even realize you’ve been doing this to yourself, how can you fix it? This episode explores a simple, but not easy, resolution to this widespread source of pain.

To learn more about Rebecca and her work, visit www.HealWithHypnosis.com.

For similarly themed episodes, try: Surrender to Greatness or Making Peace with Our Dark Side. Visit www.RefractiveCoaching.com or www.RefractivePodcast.com for more info.

Episode transcript follows, please excuse any misinterpretations by the automatic software.

If you feel disconnected from the love of others, or would like to deepen the awareness of your connection to all creation, enjoy this special guided meditation celebrating the infinite love that surrounds you at all times.

For similarly themed content, try “Guided Meditation: Ocean Stillness.” Visit www.refractivepodcast.com for more information and content. Email johnny@refractivecoaching with any questions or feedback.

Transcript follows- please excuse any misinterpretations by the automatic software.

Hello everyone. And welcome to a special meditation episode of refractive podcast. Today, we’re going to be doing a guided meditation that has as its main objective to just soak you in the love that exists all around you. One of the most beautiful lessons we can experience is the realization that there is only love. Even when we perceive hate wrath, anger, suffering, pain, abuse, there is nothing but love in the world. And when we’re able to tap into the implications of that, we gain a new freedom and a new way of soaring through life. With a perspective that changes the way we interact with the world, today’s visualization will have us receive from the people that we’re around every day from grocery store clerks, to school librarians, to people, you have a very close, intimate, loving relationship with. We are going to bring those individuals into our meditation, and we are going to receive back the love that we’ve given in this visualization.
You may even find people that appear to you that you wouldn’t expect to be a part of it. But the truth is that we make ripples in life. And the ripples of love that circle around us, go out and spread far and wide. And we may not even realize how many people we touch or the depth of what a simple act of kindness can carry to another person. So with that, I want to encourage you to get comfortable, take a breath and make sure that you’re in a place where you won’t have distractions. And you can just be with yourself for a few moments. If you need to pause and change locations, to sit in your favorite, comfortable spot, do so. If you prefer to lie down, you can do that too. Um, just do whatever feels right.
Speaker 0 00:02:36 Let’s go breathe in deeply and breathe out. Deeply. Notice the shape that your torso makes. As you take a deep breath in, you can feel your rib cage expanding on top of your lungs. Notice the shape your body makes as you let go of all that air. Kind of like a balloon with a slow leak, gently notice your body filling, then releasing with air as you breath. See if you can build in just a moment or two in between your in breath, in your out-breath, just hold it for just a moment. No stress, no pressure, just a lovely zero space where the breath stays, where it is, and then let it go with each breath as your torso rises and falls.
Speaker 0 00:04:11 I wonder if there might also be a gentle ball of light inside your torso. And as you breathe in, you can notice that the light gets just a bit brighter. The more oxygen you pull into your lungs. And as you breathe out, you can see the light gently fade back to its original level. Take some breaths now on your own and notice the sensations of your torso. Feel your arms and your legs. Get just a little bit heavier and enjoy the beauty of that ball of light. As it grows brighter and go softer as you continue to breathe.
Speaker 0 00:05:48 If there are any noises that you hear from inside your space, outside your space, just invite into the meditation. Meditating is so much simpler than we believe it to be. It’s just observing. So welcome any noise that comes into your space. It deserves to be here. It belongs okay. As you breathe deeply notice if you are holding any effort or tension in your neck or your shoulders, if you feel yourself, lifting your shoulders up, just let it go. If you were to faint right now, what would happen to your shoulders? What would happen to your arms? Let’s try that.
Speaker 0 00:06:59 There’s no need to hold your legs in a particular straight position at a 90 degree angle, just let your body sink as has been the case in every moment of your life who are being supported, the ground is supporting you. Your furniture is supporting you. The earth is supporting you. There’s no work you need to do. Just let go and noticed that like glow just a bit brighter as you breathe in and just a bit softer as you breathe out. A lot of times we can unknowingly carry some pressure in our jaw sense into your jaw area. If there’s anything that’s being clenched, just let it go.
Speaker 0 00:08:10 What would happen to your jaw? If you fainted, there can also be some tension around the sinus area around the cheeks. See if you can just let your muscles, your bones, your skin, and your face. Just be there without being held up by you. Almost like a stuffed animal. That’s been sat on the bed and it just kind of leans forward a little bit. Continue to breathe. Notice your body. Notice the light. Notice the torso check for your scalp and your ears. A lot of times we position the skin and muscles around our scalp in a particular way. See if you can let that go.
Speaker 0 00:09:31 And with this, let’s take another three or four breaths, just reveling in this moment of relaxation and letting go. And with your mind’s eye, can you notice that your eyelids are turning that beautiful reddish orange color that you see when you close your eyes in the sun, feel for chest a gentle warmth of the sun on your skin. And notice that you’re outside, you’re outside in such a beautiful landscape. There are some ferry, very small Hills around, and you find yourself on a path, take a step forward. And as your foot touches the ground through your comfortable shoes, you can feel that there’s just a tiny bit of dust and gravel and dirt underneath your feet.
Speaker 0 00:11:26 And step after step, you appreciate being on this very gentle path. There’s vibrant green grass on both sides of you and some trees out along the horizon. It’s the time of day where the sky and the light is that rich golden color. It’s the golden hour. Everything is so beautiful in the golden hour. And as you walk down this path, you just can’t believe how perfect it feels a warm but gentle temperature. You can feel a warm, nurturing breeze past your skin, maybe the skin of your shins, or just gently rifle through your hair. And there is a magnificent tree up above. You can see it 40 or 50 feet out. And it looks like the leaves of the tree are catching the light and, and almost sparkling a little bit.
Speaker 0 00:12:49 You can see that the trunk of the tree is very wide and the branches of the tree spread out for a significant distance and create a lovely canopy. You can tell by the rich green of the leaves that the tree is very healthy and it feels like it might be nice to walk towards the tree and check it out. So you leave the path and you step onto the grass and you immediately recognize the different texture beneath your shoes. You can feel the earth give way just a tiny bit. Maybe you can smell the smell of plants or grass around you. There’s a certain smell when the warm sun covers plant life. I wonder if you can smell it.
Speaker 0 00:13:55 Have we get closer to the tree and believes the branches dip fairly low to the ground? So you can see some of the leaves very easily at eye level. And you notice that you were correct. There is something that catches the light and reflects it on the leaves. As you approach. You notice that at the end of each branch, there seems to be a beautiful gemstone. And as you look from branch to branch, every imaginable color of gemstone is found on this tree. It’s such a gift to be able to walk up and see this amazing putable experience of where did the gemstones come from, who cares? It’s just beautiful and it’s there for you to enjoy.
Speaker 0 00:15:05 So you reach your hand out and there’s this amazing rich blue, this beautiful rich Sapphire gemstone, and it catches your eye and you’re reached towards it. And you notice that all of a sudden in the gemstone fairy, clearly you see the image of someone who loves you very much. You can see them looking at you and smiling. You know, the look, whoever it is, it’s someone that you know, and who loves you. And you can see them just beaming out gratitude and love for the role you’ve played. You see that image of them in the blue stone, and you’re overwhelmed your heart swells with this rich emotion. As you consider the lovely interactions that you’ve shared with this person, the value you have for this person in your own life, and you know, immediately the depths of this person’s love for you.
Speaker 0 00:16:35 A warm wind blows through your hair, blows around your arms and your legs ruffles your clothes just a bit, but it’s not cold. It’s the perfect, warm, loving temperature. And you feel the breadth of this love wrapping around you and feeding your soul. And you know that everything is perfect. And as you turn, you see a pink gemstone and it’s catching the sun’s rays in such a beautiful way. You take a few steps over and you look at it and sure enough, as you look into that gemstone, you see the image of someone who loves you very much.
Speaker 0 00:17:37 You see someone whose life is better because of you. Someone who’s received your generosity and your affection, and this person wants so badly for you to be clear on how much they love you. You see that look in their eyes, that genuine caring, benevolent look, and they beam the full force of their love on you. You feel that beautiful, warm, nourishing, wind touch your skin. And it’s overwhelming. It’s overwhelming. Okay? Your heart can barely take it. There’s so much love. And if this is what happens with the first two gemstones, you look at, imagine what else is there?
Speaker 0 00:18:48 What would happen at the top of the tree? And you realize that in this beautiful vision, you can go anywhere you want anywhere you want. And so you gently find yourself moving up through the branches. And at the top of the tree, there is a soft Canary yellow gemstone, like a yellow diamond, just gently swaying in the breeze next to some rich green leaves. And you’re curious, who’s going to be in this gemstone whose spirit will I see? And something interesting happens. This is not a person, you know, well, but it’s a person that, you know, it’s a person that you say hello to, and that you think fondly of, but they’ve never been to your home. You’ve never been to their home. You might not even know their last name. You might not even know their first name, but they have received your Goodwill, your kindness, your love, your energy.
Speaker 0 00:20:10 And when you walk past them, they feel just a little better. And for that, they love you. Their eternal soul loves you. They might not even be aware of it in the real world, but their spirit is aware of it. And it is that spirit that wants to return the favor and enrich your experience, enrich your life and bathe you and nourishing emotion. See that person in the beautiful yellow gemstone, and just take a moment to send your heart energy to that person and receive that person’s heart energy. And you begin to have an idea of the impact you have had on the world without even trying, without even realizing it, the infinite ripples that go to the shore and bounce back and go back to the shore and bounce back again, crisscrossing other ripples all the way.
Speaker 0 00:21:33 And you were the source. You were the love that is being sent out, and that is being returned to you. It is your nature. And you connect with the idea right now that all there is is love. There is nothing but love. Even the people that you haven’t been kind to. Well, the people who haven’t paid you, the respect that you’d like, there is only love despite the painful paths that many of us walk there is only love. And so, as you move to the other side of the tree, you see a beautiful pale green Paredos stone, just a soft yellow, green crystal clear stone.
Speaker 0 00:22:50 It’s just waiting for you to appreciate it. And as you get closer, there is, there is the image of someone in this stone. And it’s not someone that you have enjoyed being with it’s someone who may not have given you the respect. You’d like, maybe it’s someone who’s made an unkind comment, but that person too is a spark of the creator, just like you. And that person too is nothing but love. And while you may not have realized it through the uncomfortable interactions, there has been only love. If there are eyes to see it. And can you see it now?
Speaker 0 00:24:06 Can you look at this person and see them as a child and see yourself as a child, just two kids playing on the playground, just two kids, giggling and playing, pretend not a care in the world and so much fun. There’s no bills or pressure. There’s no hunger or bankruptcy to worry about. It’s just two kids having the time of their life. That’s you. And that’s this person. And you see all of this playing out in this amazing soft green crystal clear stone. And you realize, you realize that there is nothing but love behind the screen of discomfort.
Speaker 0 00:25:07 There is just love. And there’s an ability within you to send that putable love energy inside of you, to the child, the hurting child within this person. Can you feel, can you see with your mind’s eye, that person sending you back that same love energy. Yeah. And we have time for one more amazing gemstone and we float around and maybe we should find a clear diamond and you see one way on the other side of the tree. And it’s just, glinting like the crystal from a chandelier. And as you go to this beautiful diamond, hanging from the branch, you see someone so happy to welcome you. And it’s someone you’ve lost. It’s someone whose time on this earth life has finished.
Speaker 0 00:26:55 And there’s so much that would have been nice to say, but we didn’t know. And we didn’t have time, but the soul knows. And there is no question of recognizing the love for each other. And you look at this face, this beloved person who has passed on and you see their essence shining out at you with the full power of their hearts capacity to love. It’s like a fire hose of love. It’s so much flowing love that it’s almost overwhelming. You almost have to catch your breath. It’s so much power. And yet that is the truth of the nature between you and this person.
Speaker 0 00:27:57 And it doesn’t matter if on this earth plane, you and this person acknowledged this verbally, or didn’t, it doesn’t matter what the terms were of your relationship. When this person passed on that’s silly earth stuff, that’s silly time-related stuff. We are in the eternal right now. And in the eternal, the argument of a day or a week or a decade is nothing but the blink of an eye. And when that blink passes, there’s only nourishing love, joy, gratitude, excitement. This is the connection that you feel as you look into this beautiful diamond and you share this holy moment with a spirit that cares so deeply for you.
Speaker 0 00:29:20 And you’ll take now just a few seconds in silence to say what you’d like to say and appreciate being so close to this person, take a few moments and justice before the warm nourishing breeze envelops. You, you can feel it in your hair and on your arms brushing past your cheek and you, and this beautiful soul embrace. It’s a tight hug. You can feel it. And for this moment, there’s no doubt that these two spirits yours and this beloved have never been apart. You’ve always been together. There is no possibility of being a part that’s just silly earth stuff.
Speaker 0 00:31:01 Ah, and you hold each other’s hands and you know, it’s time to make our way back. And so you leave this beautiful soul and this beautiful tree and start to make your way back down to the springy grass and walk down to the path that brought us here. Okay? Hm. You can feel the moisture around your eyes from the tears of joy and love that have risen to the surface. And your spirit is so full. You’re like a water balloon. That’s on the verge of bursting. You are so full of the love that has just enveloped you.
Speaker 0 00:32:00 Oh, and it’s a feeling that you can take with you through the rest of your day. Can you, as you cross paths with someone who might seem irritable or surly, I wonder if you can bring just a bit of this moment to that person. You don’t have to say anything. You don’t even have to smile. Maybe just for an instant in your mind’s eye, you holding this person’s hand under this tree and let them see all the people whose lives. They have touched all the spirits that want to share love with them. And if you just do this in your mind’s eye, their spirit knows maybe not today, maybe not in this earth life, but they know what you’re doing. They’re there with you and what greater service can there be. But showing someone how deeply they are loved.
Speaker 0 00:33:34 And as we end our visualization, we bring our attention back to our body and you can feel the weight of your back on the chair, or maybe the weight of your rear end on the chair. You can feel your feet touching the floor and you can wiggle your fingers. Maybe move the face muscles a little bit, take a big deep breath, take a deep breath as the last trace of that golden sunlight starts to leave your eyelids. And you’re back in your, in your space, safe, secure, and you just know it’s going to be an amazing day.

To thine own self be true! To find a career that fits, you have to go inside. Career Strategist Keyia Kersey recommends 3 steps for anyone looking to make a career pivot. Certified in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment, Keyia presents a strong case for why investigating your beliefs about who you are and what you want is the best insurance against a frustrating career and points you in the perfect direction.

Find a transcript by automatic software below. Please excuse any misinterpreted words.

Hello everybody, and welcome to another episode of refractive podcasts. I’m Johnny G today. I am so delighted to introduce you to a very close friend of mine from way back in the day, right? To her name is Kia Kersey, and she is a career strategist. She’s worked in that area for quite a long time. Um, she actually studied, uh, I met her back through my human resources link. In fact, her master’s is in human resources management and organizational leadership. Um, she is also certified by the Myers-Briggs company for the Myers-Briggs type indicator. And so, uh, I thought that there was some really beautiful, a wealth of knowledge to bring to the listeners today on what to do when you get to a point where you realize that your current career doesn’t fit anymore, I’ve been there. Key has been there and a lot of listeners are there right now.
Speaker 1 00:01:48 And we know that what we’re doing today doesn’t fit, but it’s terrifying to think about starting career number two, right? Because first of all, what do we even like doing? What are people going to be willing to pay us to do that makes us feel good. And is it going to meet the financial needs of our family? Is it viable? There are so many facets to consider in this decision that what happens to most people is they say, well, the career, I mean right now is not awful. I don’t really love it, but it’s it’s okay. And they don’t move because they’re too scared of all of these variables. They’re scared of the, what feels like a momentous calculation to have to get into a career that feels right. Well, I’m here to tell you that I’ve been able to shift out of a career into one that feels right. Tia has done that as well. It’s not as complicated or as difficult. It’s a big project, but it’s not possible. In fact, it’s very possible. And she has some wisdom to share with the listeners today on exactly how to do that. So before we get into all the nitty gritty, how are you doing my love?
Speaker 2 00:02:58 I’m doing Johnny. I just want to start by saying thank you so much for having me on the show today. You’re such a rock star and I’m so honored to be here. And I’m excited. I’m excited to share with our listeners today.
Speaker 1 00:03:13 Oh, I listen. I’m excited to share all the giggles and laughter with our listeners.
Speaker 2 00:03:19 Oh, a lot of we do. Uh, okay. The audience will have to bear with us because we like giggling and laughing together. So we’ll have to keep it together. We will try to keep it together for everyone. I can’t make any promises, but you know,
Speaker 1 00:03:35 In fact, I want to tell everybody I’ve told this story,
Speaker 2 00:03:38 Uh, I’m not ready, but
Speaker 1 00:03:41 I need to tell everybody how I met Kia. So,
Speaker 2 00:03:44 Um, do it, don’t embarrass don’t marriage.
Speaker 1 00:03:48 Yeah. So back in 2008, I was working for Loews hotels at the time and human
Speaker 2 00:03:55 Resources. That’s right. Yes.
Speaker 1 00:03:58 And so I got invited to come do a lecture, um, at Weidener university.
Speaker 2 00:04:05 I love the story. I do love the story. It’s I do love the story.
Speaker 1 00:04:08 Yes. So I, uh, I’m wearing, oh, I went out to Weidener university and I, uh, I did this lecture on some stuff that we did. I don’t even remember exactly the title, uh, the topic. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:04:21 But you were, you were talking about the culture of the organization and that’s who you were. They was really like the culture. And what training was all about from the cultural standpoint? It was, it was neat. I remember. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:04:33 And so after the lecture was over this lady, she is tall and lean, right. She is tall and lean like a cartoon character. And she like hops up out of her seat in her business suit. Right. She is wearing business attire and she’d be like bounces over to me with all the earnestness of
Speaker 2 00:04:54 Powerful woman.
Speaker 1 00:04:55 And she likes sticks her handouts such force. And thank you so much for coming to do our lecture. I really enjoyed it. And my name is Anne. We have just been connected ever since
Speaker 2 00:05:09 That was a good, um, rendition of Kia, 2000 AI,
Speaker 1 00:05:15 Like from legally blonde, like she’s like, she’s just going to take over the world and like, nobody’s going to get in her way. And she knows, you know, she’s about to give me a perfume centered resume, you know?
Speaker 2 00:05:28 Um, I appreciate that story. That, that is true story. That’s exactly how I met. I was just like, he’s a rock star and he’s going to be my friend and guess what it worked. And you’ve been, my friend ever said, I mean, we have from taking planes to see each other, to drive it across country and see each other from Amtrak trains and see each other. We have been inseparable ever since. So love you
Speaker 1 00:05:53 Today. Uh, you just happened to have, uh, built career, uh, around helping other people with their own careers. And so I’d love to hear what you have in store for us today. Um, as far as how to help people in this moment of pivot in their life.
Speaker 2 00:06:10 Yeah. I love this topic because so many of us are either going through it or we have gone through it, as you said, at some point in our lives, but really when identifying the career, that’s the best fit for you when you’re trying to figure out what is my career passion, where is my niche? Where should I be? Um, there’s three things that I always recommend you do. Number one, discover your personality type, discover that discovering your personality type really will allow you to identify your strengths. I like to call them your super powers, super powers, because this is the thing we all have a super power. You know, if you’re, if you’re in a job right now or in a career right now, you feel like, eh, it’s okay. Or if you feel like I I’m really not, you know, doing what I want to do.
Speaker 2 00:07:01 You have not tapped into your superpower. We all have a superpower. And I so want for everyone to tap into their super power. The second thing that you really need to do is examine your core. And when I say examine your core, what are your values? Your beliefs, your lifestyle, what is it now? What do you want it to be? And the third thing is take that information, develop a SWOT analysis, a SWOT analysis, meaning your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. And I’ll go into that a little bit more, but analyzing that will really help you to move forward and make some steps that are right for your next career move.
Speaker 1 00:07:42 All right. Perfect. I love it. So, uh, all right. So step one, let’s unpack these bad boys and, uh, share with us some of the wisdom you have, uh, you’ve developed over the years around these.
Speaker 2 00:07:55 Yeah. So, you know, the first thing, your personality types. So as a certified, uh, NBTI practitioner or Myers-Briggs type indicator practitioner, I can share things from this NBTI lens. So, you know, the question is, um, you know, Y NBTI wait, let’s take a time out and stop for a second. Please stop. Let’s talk about this cup. I’m sorry, everyone. Let’s talk about this big relish cop that you put. All right. So for those of you who are not on YouTube, you have no idea what’s happening right now. Love your cop need to get one. I need to get one later,
Speaker 1 00:08:37 Literally like 20 ounces. It’s an enormous teacup. And it says relish on the rim because, you know, I relish my time with Kia Kersey. So
Speaker 2 00:08:47 I’m just pushing in this. I am relishing in this moment right now, so, okay. I’m going to try and of, okay. So personality type, right? Figure out what your personality type is. One way to do that is through a career assessment. I’m an NBTI practitioner. So I can speak from the NBTI lens, the Myers-Briggs type months. Um, so why would you use, I would say a Myers-Briggs personality inventory over all the other there’s so many you can pick and choose, um, NBTI, it’s a self-reported instrument. So that means that you select your own preferences. It’s nonjudgmental it. Doesn’t judge your personality type, um, but indicates how you prefer to approach a situation and interact with life. Um, it sorts people into, um, I guess it starts people based on their preferences. It doesn’t put you in a box and say, this is who you are, that’s your label. Right. So that’s why I like it too. And it’s also, well-researched, it’s something that is used worldwide. It’s been around a very long time and it’s the most widely used psychological assessment in the world. So that’s why you talk from that lens.
Speaker 1 00:10:00 Let’s go more into this. Let’s go more into Myers-Briggs. Cause you, you have people, uh, say all the time, oh, these are my four letters. And like, they don’t even say it’s Myers-Briggs but when you get those four letters, like, you know that it’s Myers-Briggs so what are your four letters?
Speaker 2 00:10:17 My four letters. I am an E N T J. And that just means that I am an extrovert. Um, I utilize the extrovert preference. I utilize the intuition preference. I utilize my thinking preference the most, and I utilize my judging preference the most. And I can tell you what all of those mean I
Speaker 1 00:10:40 Am. Um, I N F okay. Love it. What is F I can’t remember what F feeling. Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 00:10:51 So, so you’re, I N you said, right? So you, I N F J so you’re introverted, um, you’re intuitive, meaning you are more of a visionary person, right? You’re looking at the future. Um, you are make decisions that are more in line with your feeling, with your gut, your hunch, you have a hunch about something, you make decisions based on that feeling. And then as a J you’re a person that’s, you’re your pretty organized, structured person. Um, you like to do things in an organized where you like things on your calendar, um, as opposed to just being like, I’m just going to take things as they happen. You kind of liked to ensure that you have a plan in front of you.
Speaker 1 00:11:43 You know, it’s, it’s when I first did Myers-Briggs, um, uh, it was one of the first times where I ever stopped to think that maybe I am an introvert, because I’ve always had such a big mouth. Right. I’ve always been a talker, you know, and, and everybody, I remember I worked on a big team of like 22 people in HR, and we all got our Meyers-Briggs and they were like, well, but this, how can you, you’re not, you’re, you’re, you’re E you’re. You’re not an I, and what happens is due to some of like my upbringings and coping mechanisms that I developed for myself through adolescents or whatever I have, I learned that people like people who are outgoing and warm. And so I learned to do that, but it drains me. It does not, it’s not my natural state. Um, it’s something I learned how to do to cope. And so, in reality, when I’m around a group of people for a long time, uh, it just, I feel like I’ve just been beat up, you know,
Speaker 2 00:12:55 That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense because, um, if you’re E if you utilize the extrovert preference the most, then you’re energized. That gives you energy, that it should give you energy, but knowing that it drains you. Oh, yeah. You’re a true, you’re clear. You’re clear. I write, because I, it is my assumption then that when you have really time alone to think process strategize that that’s when you get your most energy. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:13:29 You know, there was this family trip that, that, uh, that my, my siblings planned that was going to be like 12 of us going to Billy’s. And at first I was like, oh yeah, that sounds great. And then like the closer we got, and I’m like, I’m not going, I cannot
Speaker 2 00:13:44 Not be
Speaker 1 00:13:45 Like, in this tight space with 12 people for 10 days. Like, it’s just going to kill me. Like I need, you know, anyway, so that’s not really on the topic of career, but it’s on the topic of like Myers-Briggs and how accepted it is and widespread, and well-known, it is. And so, um, why does it help someone who is interested in a career pivot to, uh, do an assessment, which could be Myers-Briggs, it could be any number of other assessments that help someone understand how they tick, um, talk to me a little bit about that.
Speaker 2 00:14:18 Yeah. Well, you know, when we talk about the different letters, um, and what they stand for, you gave a great example of what you were saying regarding, um, you feeling drained after giving these presentations or being around so many people. And what that means is that if a person is trying to assess their next step in their career, and they should really take a look at how they’re energized, when we talk about why my response and why look at how you’re energized, because if you find that you’re really drained after, you know, um, being around large crowds or talking with a lot of people, or in those types of situations, then maybe a sales role, um, a role where you have to be in front of people all the time, or kind of be in front of people to develop relationships, maybe not all the time, but maybe you want to think about whether or not that’s a good fit for what your preference is.
Speaker 2 00:15:24 And it doesn’t mean that you can’t do certain things, because if you want to do something, and this is a goal of yours that you have go forward, but if you’re tired at the job that you’re at, and there’s a reason why there’s a reason why you’re not feeling fulfilled and looking at those NBTI preferences will help you to figure out what your natural makeup is. For example, can you do me a favor? Do you have a pencil and a paper readily accessible to you? Do me a favor and just write your name, just write your full name. Let me know when you’re done. When you were writing your name, did you have to think about which hand you were going to write with? No. Exactly. So, uh, similarly, when you’re exercising your NBTI preferences, it’s not something that you have to think about. It’s innate and it’s natural and you are, we are our true selves when we’re doing things that come very natural to us. Right, right. So I like to look at it that way. I
Speaker 1 00:16:37 Want to, uh, you know, I want to hop in and talk about this because, you know, here’s, you know, when I work with clients who feel stuck in their lives, um, it’s not that I can’t write my name with my right hand. I can write my name with my right hand. And depending on how much effort I want to put in, I can write my name in a fairly legible way, or I could, uh, do it in a less careful way, but I can do it, but does it feel good? It doesn’t feel good. You know? And so this is a really nice corollary to, I love that, that the conversation is going this way because, um, I didn’t know. I didn’t know that being in front of people didn’t feel good to me. I didn’t know that putting myself in extroverted situations drained me, I had never stopped to investigate that.
Speaker 1 00:17:39 I knew it felt good when people responded favorably to me. And how do I get people to respond favorably to me, to go in front of people and charm them. So I was doing that. I was doing that. Um, and, and I just felt exhausted and just depleted at the end of every day. And so, as we look at what life needs to look like, whether it’s career, whether it’s the type of place I live, whether it’s, uh, you know, is my relationship working for me, whatever the case is investigating, what makes us tick is so key, because we may have made assumptions based on, uh, the societal most favorable mix of characteristics and be like, okay, well, that’s what I want. And we may have modeled an entire life around, um, situations that don’t feel good to us. That’s where I wonder why people are depressed. And we wonder why people feel angry at the world.
Speaker 2 00:18:46 That’s right. That’s right. And let me tell you, our introverts are our rock stars. Well, hello, Kevin, can I tell you, I, you know, as an extrovert, do I always think before I speak, I would like to, but sometimes I think I’m a very strategic person in what I say. I, I do think that I am very strategic in what I say, however, what I need, let me clarify, please. I can’t with that cop
Speaker 1 00:19:21 Look, I’m going to drink my tea. Yeah. I just got it.
Speaker 2 00:19:24 Send me one. I’m really actually, I’m just like, I’m jealous. This is real jealousy coming through. So you have to send me one. Okay. Or just tell me where to order it, or, um, what I want to say as far as, um, introverts really being our rock stars when I was saying was clarifying me thinking through things before I speak as an introvert. Um, I like to come to conclusions by thinking out loud. So if I was in a business meeting with a lot of people and the person leading the meeting, you know, um, was talking and I, I had a good thought about whatever that person was talking about. I would, I would outright jump in, or if the person said, what do you think about that? I would outright spit out what to my hair, or I would go through my thought process out loud, whereas an introvert would really go through their thought process in their mind and then say a polished conclusion, you know, at the end.
Speaker 2 00:20:29 Right? So that person is really taking in a lot of information. You know, the intro, the extrovert such as myself may continue talking, talking, talking to introvert is really taking all of this in and then coming to a well formulated response. I that, you know, as extroverts, sure, we come with well-formulated responses as well, but that different tactic is such a strength. And this is what I talk about when we say identifying our strengths in our superpowers, you know, extroversion versus introversion, extroversion versus introversion is how we’re energized. So we talked about how you’re energized, right? You’re energized and extroverts energizing around lots of people. An introvert is energized with that along silo time. Um, the next preference pair is sensing versus intuition. So that is how we take in information. So a person with a sensing, um, preferences, more so taking into details that are around them, right?
Speaker 2 00:21:33 So if they’re in a meeting, they’re taking in all of the detail information and they are trying to come to a conclusion more so for the nail, an immediate conclusion that we’ll be able to, um, mitigate whatever challenge the group is facing immediately or whatever challenge the project is facing immediately where the intuitive person is looking to the future of everything. They are the visionary. So they’re trying to come up with, um, their, they emit their minds immediately goes to how can we develop a process? That’s going to be last longing for the future. So an example of that be if you take your hand and put it in front of your face, a person with a sensing preference is looking at all the grooves in the lie, a person with intuitive preferences looking out in front of them. So the sensing person is looking at all the nooks and crannies. The, the intuitive person is looking out in the future. And one is missing something that the others is not missing, right. One is
Speaker 1 00:22:44 Not stronger than the other one is not better than the other. They’re not there, it’s a continuum. Right. And everyone has a certain, um, um, ratio of these two, right? Nobody, almost nobody. I mean, I don’t want to say that, but like the likelihood of you being 100% sensing and 0% intuitive is
Speaker 2 00:23:05 Like this that’s right. It is very unlikely. We all utilize both. Right. We just utilize one more than the other. So a person with a sensing preference, we’re probably do really well with something like data analysis, right. Because they are really analyzing a lots of detailed information, right. Where an intuitive person sure. They could do it, but it might be a little bit more of a challenge for them. Um, because they’re more focused on the bigger picture of things. I’m thinking worsen, it’s banking versus feelings, how we make decisions. So a person with the person with the, sorry, I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying, I was trying to turn off my camera. Don’t start off in here, the person with the thinking. So the person with the thinking preference is making decisions based on factual information, the person with the feeling preference is more so, like I said, making a decision based on their gut, their, you know, what is, um, what feels, right, right.
Speaker 2 00:24:27 So say if, um, two people were looking at a resume for a candidate say, uh, we were both recruiters. We were looking at a resume trying to decide if we want to bring this, this candidate on. Um, I may say, you know what? I needed a little bit more data on this candidate. Just a little bit more data. You may say, you know what, after reading through their resume, I think I really, I get a good feeling about this reason. My gut is telling me that this person, isn’t just your chat. You’re putting the patterns together and you get a gut feeling. I’m like, you’re blowing my mind right now because like, okay. So like
Speaker 1 00:25:05 I do, you know, I write resumes for clients. It’s one of the services I do. You know, one of the big focuses that I do is I say, listen, we need to control the, um, subliminal messages of your resume. How much white space is there on the page? How parallel is the formatting, right. Is there enough space between characters? Is there a, does it feel balanced? Like, does it fit? And I tell clients that by, you know, when you’re looking at 20 resumes in a row, when one is subliminally pleasant, it stands out. But so as you’re talking about like the resume example Kia, like it made me think of like, well, that’s why that’s such a focus of mine when I work with, because that I, you know, I find that that’s, I mean, obviously the content is very important, but also really recognize the significance of a well-thought out, uh, document that feels, and
Speaker 2 00:26:07 That’s just as important. And that’s a perfect example. That’s a perfect, because it’s what you’re saying and describing is just as important as the data that’s in it. But that, that’s why, you know, you’re looking through that lens, you know, is because of the preference that you have. You’re feeling preference when he comes in. I
Speaker 1 00:26:27 Would have had no idea. So I love, and then the last
Speaker 2 00:26:31 One, just, I don’t know how we’re doing on time. Cause we can talk forever. The last one I’ll be quick is judging versus perceiving. So a person with the judge listen to the podcast. I love mother good DRI I there’s a special place in my heart for mother Godrich certainly I will never forget when she had me over the house around the holidays. It was, I love mother Goodrich. Um, but it doesn’t mean judging. Judging doesn’t mean like, oh, we’re being judged today. God, is this, how does this, how does this, or your shape? What, what judging means is, um, you like a, a life that’s organized, you like to set goals, you like structure, you like making decisions that you can move on where a person with the perceiving type, uh, or perceiving preference is one who really likes to approach life as it comes.
Speaker 2 00:27:39 Right. Uh, doesn’t like to make the Bennett plans because they like to leave their schedules a little open so that there’s freedom for whatever life brings them. Right. Um, I’ll tell you something funny. So I, you know, looking at it this way, a person with a judging preference, if we had a picture of that person at their desk and they had a stack of papers next to them, they would be like pulling one paper off, finishing it, putting it to the side, pulling the next day. I mean, they’re getting things done where the person with the perceiving preference is probably like I have a lot of time to get this done. I mean, I have until next Wednesday, you know, I can get through this pile by night. That’s Wednesday. I’m going to take my time and get through the ball and they’ll get through the pile, but just a little bit more lax about flex, about their time there.
Speaker 1 00:28:34 So, so the, once you kind of have done an assessment and we’re specifically talking about the value of Myers-Briggs, but once you’ve done an assessment and you’ve kind of understood, understood what makes you tick, because again, the thing is to challenge the assumptions with an open mind, what the assumptions we’ve had about ourselves, our whole lives, because we may have been forming ourselves to someone else’s ideals and stopping to question. We may assume the fact that it didn’t feel good as an error in ourselves rather than an error in the path we’re taking. That really is someone else’s path. Right. So, yeah. So once we’ve kind of looked at the look at our superpowers and decided, okay, I don’t want to be in a job where I have to sit in my office all day, because that is draining to me to be alone too
Speaker 2 00:29:24 Much. Yeah. That’s scary. I had to, I ran out of my house this morning because I was like, I just don’t want to be by myself. So,
Speaker 1 00:29:34 And I’m not talking about me particularly. Right? Like that’s, you know, but then like, and let’s say, I don’t want a, that focuses too much on the nitty gritty. Um, I know that I really prefer high level conceptual work. Um, that feels exciting to me. Whereas like getting into the numbers or, or planning out detailed sub strategies is just draining for me. Right. So once you’ve kind of identified that we move on to step two. Now this is something where the listeners of this podcast can go ahead and roll your eyes. All of you, or all three of you listeners, uh, go ahead and roll your eyes because I talk about all the time, all the time. So tell me, what do you mean that you need to examine your values? If you’re looking at a career pivot,
Speaker 2 00:30:23 Here we go. I call it your core, your core consists of your values, your beliefs, and your lifestyle. And, and here we go. Your values. Do you value family time? Um, do you value here we go on road in the eyes. Do you value position titles? It’s okay. Do you value climbing the corporate ladder? Do you value educating others? All of it’s. Okay. Any of those things that I just mentioned is okay, but you have to be true and honest with yourself. It took me a long time to be honest about the things that I value. And I guess this is a time for me to be vulnerable. I value position titles.
Speaker 1 00:31:11 Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 00:31:13 You know, and it took me a long time to say that because I felt like I was being like, oh, really judging myself. Like, oh, that’s not a good thing, but it’s all okay. Whatever you volume is, it’s completely fine. Just be honest with yourself. That’s
Speaker 1 00:31:30 The thing. Yes. Oh my God. Oh my God. Like, I mean, when it comes to relationships, when it comes to how you raise your children, when it comes to setting your houses, financial strategies, like be honest, be honest. Right. Do, are you trying to get your kid into that preschool because it’s a loving decision based on, um, just based on love or is it based on fear? Is it if I don’t do this, uh, if I don’t do this things, aren’t gonna work out. Okay. Wow.
Speaker 2 00:32:12 That’s so powerful.
Speaker 1 00:32:14 I’m going to let myself down. If I don’t do this, my parents are going to judge me. If I don’t do this, I’m not going to be as good as my neighbors. If I don’t do I’m failing. Um, according to some life mission, I set for myself 30 minutes ago. And rather than I’m doing this because I have the means and it’s natural and it flows and it feels great to do this. You know, like there’s a D let’s be honest about that. That’s so powerful. Yes. And so bring it into your career. Like, you know, if you had a goal that you need to earn $150,000, it is that because of your values, maybe it is. If your values say achievement is necessary for you to feel satisfied. If your value say, let’s say adventure, right? Because let’s say you want to go Trek through Antarctic or climb Mount Everest, or you want to, you know, go do these things that cost a lot of money. So if you’re doing things that are aligned with your values, they feel good, but let’s say those. Aren’t my values. My values are family time. My values are serenity and peace,
Speaker 2 00:33:23 Educating others, training others, you know, in a career
Speaker 1 00:33:29 Where I can earn $150,000 at the expense of what makes me feel good. And so I have the money and I feel gross about it.
Speaker 2 00:33:37 That’s right. That’s precisely why identifying what your values are, are so important. The next thing is your beliefs. Do you believe that you should be working nine to five? Do you believe that you should be working weeknights? Do you believe that you should be working weekends? All of that is important when you’re looking at the type of job that you want to go into, there are certain jobs that are a little bit more demanding in those areas than other. There are certain industries in careers that are more demanding and those areas than others. So it’s very important that you’re looking at that when it comes to the things like what you believe leaves,
Speaker 1 00:34:16 It’s like, you’re selling out. It’s like you’re selling yourself out. And then you feel greater to yourself.
Speaker 2 00:34:21 That’s that’s precisely. And it ties right into your lifestyle. Exactly what you were saying. Um, do you want to live a comfortable lifestyle, a basic lifestyle? Uh, this all plays a part in your career decision, right? When it talks about finances, so values, beliefs, lifestyle, all intertwined, and it
Speaker 1 00:34:41 Comes down to questioning what we’ve accepted as true. Right? Because we all say, well, yeah, I want to make a lot of money because life is less complicated and it’s simple that way. Okay. That’s great. That’s great. That’s fine. Right? If that’s, but is that, is that really what your insight is telling you? Does your inside tell you that if you don’t make this money, you don’t feel good, right? Or is that just what you’ve heard
Speaker 2 00:35:05 And accepted it as your personal truth? You’ve accepted it because once you accept something, you also attracted,
Speaker 1 00:35:14 Right? It’s like people who get promoted into management jobs because they, they, they just, that must be good. It’s more money. It’s a bigger job. That must be good. But did you stop to ask yourself if that’s what feels good to you? Are you selling out what feels good to you for someone else’s ideals of good?
Speaker 2 00:35:34 Yeah. The other thing is that people will start to notice is that when you, when your values align with your career decision, your values, beliefs, your lifestyle aligns with your career decision. You also ignite this creative side of you, right? And then when you do that and you start creating, if money is something that you felt like, you know what I do, what would like more money, but I value this and money will follow. And I, you know, people, and I know it’s like a shallow thing. You hear that, but it is so true when you really start to tap into, um, your superpowers and your creativity and your values aligned with it, then the money will follow. I value family. I value position, title, I value, um, balance, you know? So at some point I really had to stop valuing or believing. I should say, believing that those other things were necessary in order for me to be successful.
Speaker 1 00:36:37 Right? Because it’s like a continuum, just like your eye, just like your four letters. It’s not that it means you don’t care about money. It’s like, it’s where does money? Where does your salary fall on your list of priorities? And maybe, um, five years ago in your life, money might have fallen in number three, the number three spot. And maybe you’ve had a shift. And today upon closer evaluation, maybe your, your financials fallen spot six or spot seven in your priorities. So it’s not that we’re saying, like, you don’t care about that stuff. You don’t care about getting promoted. You don’t care. It’s not what we’re saying. It’s that are your priorities in order, according to what feels good or is it someone else’s priorities?
Speaker 2 00:37:26 That’s right. That’s right. Spot on. And then the last thing that you should do when you’re looking to make that career changer, go to a different position, leave your current position, take all that information we talked about and put it into a swallow, a SWAT analysis. So again, SWOT analysis, strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats for yourself. So I’ll give an example, maybe for string, you’re a visionary person. You like to solve problems. You care about social justice issues. Maybe the weakness is that you don’t like micromanagers, maybe four under opportunities, a nonprofit executive role might be a good fit for you because you’re a visionary. You like to solve problems and you care about social justice issues. So maybe an opportunity is a nonprofit, one of the industries or roles that you look at, just one of them. I have a question
Speaker 1 00:38:26 About opportunities. Do we mean opportunities? Like the, like, like, you know, the nice way of saying things we’re not doing well, you know how, like in a business we’re like, well, what’s our strength and what’s our opportunity, right? Opportunity means like what you’re failing at or does this mean opportunity, like a new chance at something, you know, like, I just want to clarify that
Speaker 2 00:38:45 It’s both and thanks for the clarity. It’s both. And I’ll show you how so opportunities are on one. Part of it is what are the opportunities that fit in with your personality, personality type and your core, but then it’s also, what are you not doing that you could start doing in order to help you figure out where you want to be? Maybe an opportunity now is to start some informational interviewing. So once you identified some careers that fit with your personality type in your core, then you start doing, um, talking to people that are within those industries, with that title in that field to see if it would actually gel with you. Right? So it’s an opportunity for you to start exploring that, um, and doing that. It’s an opportunity for you to learn more about the organization or maybe to learn more about whether or not you’d be a good entrepreneur, right?
Speaker 2 00:39:48 If it’s learning more about an organization, then maybe you learn about the managers that are there. And if you were to be in a position, would you be micromanaged your weaknesses micromanage, right. If you, if you’re looking to explore entrepreneurship, this is an opportunity for you to start talking to other entrepreneurs, maybe in similar fields and to try and, um, get a real listic, uh, point of view of what that looks like from someone who’s already doing it. So I’m talking about both. Thank you for clarifying that. So I’m talking about both and then the last are the threats, the threats, you know, peers who currently have experience in that industry, you know, but, um, knowing your threats will help you to take action, right? So, um, do you need to volunteer at an organization? Do you need to, do you need to do some gratis work? If you’re looking to be entrepreneur, do you need to do gratis workforce or maybe do some things for free in order to obtain that additional experience? So identify
Speaker 1 00:40:54 A threat.
Speaker 2 00:40:56 That’s a good, that’s a good question. So the weakness and on this chart is something that, um, that you’re just not that you’re struggling with. You know, you, you, maybe you don’t, you’re not good at, so you, so if we talk about personality type, you have your superpower. When you have the thing you’re not so good at, right. Maybe you’re not the detailed person. Um, so that’s the weakness part where the threat I’m talking about external environmental things and weakness, I’m talking about internal things that are internal any to you.
Speaker 1 00:41:29 Okay. Yeah. All right. So threat might be like, for example, um, if I want a tech job, but I’m in a, I’m in a location where tech is not really a prominent industry, that’s not a weakness, but it’s not, it’s an obstacle that I had going to have to deal with.
Speaker 2 00:41:45 Yes. And you need to know that. Perfect. And you need, that’s a perfect example. And you need to know that, um, in order to make your career shift and make that change, you need to know all these things. So doing those three things, discovering your personality, type, your super power, your strain, um, evaluating your core, really assessing your core, developing that SWAT analysis, those three things. Once you do that, then you can say, you know what? You should, at the end of doing those three things feel so much more empowered and enlightened about your next career move. So I have to say that. And I would also say that that exercise of figuring out your personality type, once you’ve taken any assessment, it’s always good to sit down with the career professionals, such as yourself, Johnny, um, uh, you know, a career strategist such as myself in order to sit down and really unpack them information. Right? So, um, that’s where you come in, Johnny, that’s really where you come in, you know, for, for, for people to really unpack that information. Right. So that’s why they want to meet with you.
Speaker 1 00:43:00 All right. Well, that is, that is amazing. You know, I just feel like, uh, yeah, I just feel like so many people are floating in a lukewarm ocean and they just, they can’t see which direction to paddle in. And, you know, um, I tell my, I tell my clients, it’s, it’s on my website. It’s everywhere. There, there, there are a couple of tenants of my practice. You already know, and you already are, you already know you already, you know, but, but the answer is in the stillness, you know, that’s the thing. If you don’t think, you know, you need to get still. And when I say get still, you know, does that mean meditating? Sure. Right. But, but, but it, it means quieting all the external noise, quieting all the ideas you’ve absorbed from the outside and asking your highest, most wise loving self what’s true about this. Yeah. And then having the guts to, to, to, to, to run with that, once your, once your higher self tells you, what’s true having the guts to accept it and use it rather than saying, well, that was just my imagination.
Speaker 2 00:44:18 Yeah. Can I say this? You know, everyone has a, um, there’s always someone or people in your life who, who is your coach? Right. I have a number of people in my life who are my coaches who are like my curriculum. So you are, you are like the career counselors or the life coaches, coach, right. You really are. You really are. You know, you’re one of my, you’re one of my coaches, um, and my career coaches. And I appreciate you so much, you know, it’s just so enlightening. Every, just listening to you and listen to your responses is enlightening for me. So you’re the career coaches, coach.
Speaker 1 00:45:05 Thank you. I love it. I love it. Well, let me tell you something together. We’re like Vultron baby. We put them to them little lions together and we conquer the world. So
Speaker 2 00:45:14 Love it. Love it. Love it. Love care, bears, game your life. That’s what I tell her. Aim your light. Right. Stop for a second. I used to love care bears. I mean, literally brought care bears with me all the way up through college. Not going to get any details. Just saying
Speaker 1 00:45:36 I used to love care bears. Yeah. Well, if you want to know why I am the way I am. How about the fact that when I was like seven mother Goodrich redecorated, my entire room and care bears talking about like wall cutouts, a huge rainbow. That’s
Speaker 2 00:45:50 Not true to the ceiling. I love hard spreads everything. And it’s like, I mean a nurture. I don’t know. I love it. Love mother, mother. Good. DRI is always channeling her creative side to bring out the light to bring out the light in others. The other boys
Speaker 1 00:46:09 Had transformers and I had Kibera.
Speaker 2 00:46:13 Listen. That is all. That’s all good. That’s all good because I like caravans better. So that’s right. That’s right. More the guys that you get on board, they need to get on board.
Speaker 1 00:46:28 That’s right. Visionary. Anyway, I’m so grateful for you coming on. I have relished this experience.
Speaker 2 00:46:36 I gotta get one of those,
Speaker 1 00:46:38 This experience. And, uh, I, uh I’m so I just thank you for sharing everything with our, with our listeners. And if they would like to ask you some more questions about one of your sprigs, if they’d like to find out how to get our Myers-Briggs, uh, um, assessment done, or if they have questions about, um, career pivoting, or just want to ask you your advice, uh, or maybe it’s like someone that knew you in elementary school. And they’re like, oh my. Anybody who knew me from elementary school, please reach out to me because I love my, if you were in Mrs. Squires class with me, please reach out to me. Come on now who loves Mrs. Squires? You know what I’m talking to? How can they get ahold of you? So via email? Um, I go by Keyia, but my full name is Shakeyia, And then my last name Kersey, sh************@***il.com. You can also link with me on LinkedIn, if that’s easier, just type in Shakeyia Kersey into Google and then a link with me on LinkedIn. Go to LinkedIn and link with me that way. You can also find me on Twitter. I’m ShakeyiaK on Twitter. I would love to link with you and talk to you and help in any way. All
Speaker 1 00:48:08 Right, my dear. Well, I am going to, uh, just once again, say thank you, wish you an amazing, amazing rest of the day. And uh, I just want to send you all like my love and my blessing.
Speaker 2 00:48:20 Oh my gosh. Thank you. Thank you so much. I appreciate you having, sorry. I didn’t let you finish because I’m so grateful. I appreciate you having me.
Speaker 1 00:48:30 You bet. You bet. All right, everybody. Well, as we wrap up same messages, always never forget to be good to each other and aim your light. Have a good day. Bye. You have been listening to refractive podcast, and this is Johnny G. If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, do me a favor, give it a share on social media, or if you’re in the podcast app, give it a rating. If you’re on YouTube click, like it really does make a difference in the search results. I am a speaker, coach and facilitator based in Washington, DC, but I work in person and remotely with people who are ready to step with clarity into their most authentic life. If I can be of service, reach out to me, Jo****@****************ng.com have an amazing day. Be good to each other and always remember- Aim Your Light.

To learn more about the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment, email Keyia at Sh************@***il.com or search Shakeyia Kersey on LinkedIn. You can also find her on Twitter @ShakeyiaK.

For similar content, try The Courage to Change Careers w/Karen Barnard or Artist Stan Piotroski- A Life that Feels Right.

Contact host Johnny Guidry at jo****@****************ng.com. For more information on coaching or to inquire about speaking engagements, visit www.refractivecoaching.com.