Haven!

Relational Tune-Ups


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Anyone who’s been in a relationship for a while knows that sometimes you need to have a quick assessment with your partner of “How are we? Are we okay? Are you happy? Is there any way we can be doing things better?”


Just like routine car maintenance - it’s important to pull off the highway from time to time and really check things out, ideally before a check engine light comes on.

In this episode I bring in my husband of 11 years and we go through some tools from our relational tool kit we have learned throughout the years, primarily from our marriage counselor… 


  • Using a drive-through method to hear each other’s needs
  • The difference between a critique versus a complaint
  • The power of wording - “You’re annoying” vs “You’re behavior is annoying me” vs “I’m annoyed”
  • The littler version of your partner in your head
  • We also land that at some point you need to stop over-analyzing all the ways you could potentially improve and just enjoy the ride together!

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