You don’t need to have all the answers to begin healing.

In this powerful and compassionate episode of Relationships Uncomplicated, Idit Sharoni, LMFT, is joined by Program Specialist and therapist Alana Tokayer, LMFT, to answer a question many hurt partners silently ask:

“Is it even worth starting the healing process if I’m not sure I want to stay?”

We explore why uncertainty is a completely normal—and expected—part of the aftermath of infidelity, and how beginning the healing process can actually lead to the clarity so many partners are searching for.

⏱ Episode Timestamps:

• 00:02 – Why uncertainty after infidelity is normal Idit introduces the topic and explains how common it is for hurt partners to question whether healing is worth it when they’re unsure about staying.

• 04:24 – The emotional duality of betrayal Alana describes the emotional seesaw many hurt partners experience—feeling both deep pain and lingering love—and why that doesn't mean something is wrong with you.

• 08:20 – Why you don’t need to decide before you begin Idit explains how healing often leads to clarity, and that deciding to stay is not a requirement to start the recovery process.

• 14:40 – How healing helps clarify what’s possible Alana shares the metaphor of the fogged-up window and how clarity emerges from experience—not from overthinking or pressure.

• 22:25 – The difference between being remorseful and acting remorseful Idit outlines what true remorse looks like and how an unfaithful partner can appear unremorseful even if they feel regret.

🎙 In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why feeling unsure is normal and human after betrayal

• The emotional duality of still loving someone who hurt you

• Why you don’t need to decide whether to stay before beginning healing

• What leads to real clarity (hint: not overthinking!)

• How unfaithful partners can act remorseful, not just feel remorse

• Why trust is not a requirement to begin healing—it’s the result of the process

• Tips for couples sitting in the “gray zone” of uncertainty

💬 Real talk and examples you'll relate to:

Alana shares a moving story of a client named Jenna (name changed), who was completely stuck on the question of whether to stay or go. Through the healing process, without pressure, she found the clarity she was searching for—not all at once, but step by step.

💡 Key Takeaways:

1. Feeling uncertain about staying after infidelity is completely normal.

2. You don’t need to decide before you begin—healing can be the pathway to clarity.

3. Trust and remorse can grow with the right support and guidance.

4. You’re allowed to hold the question and begin healing at the same time.

🛠 Tips for Navigating Uncertainty:

• Set a short-term healing intention (2–3 months of guided work)

• Find expert help trained in infidelity recovery

• Build a safe, small support system

• Be patient and kind with yourself—you’re not supposed to know everything right now

💬 This episode is sponsored by:

It’s Okay To Stay – Idit Sharoni’s complete infidelity recovery coaching program for couples who want to rebuild trust and heal after betrayal.

📆 Book your FREE 45-minute consultation to see if this program is right for you: 👉 iditsharoni.com/45

🔗 Resources:

• Learn more about the Infidelity Recovery Program: iditsharoni.com

• Book your consultation with a program specialist: iditsharoni.com/45

🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode. 📩 Share this with someone who may be sitting in that same place of uncertainty.

When news broke that tech CEO Andy Byron was allegedly caught in an intimate moment with his HR chief Kristin Cabot at a Coldplay concert, the headlines exploded—and so did public judgment. But what happens when we step away from the gossip and look at the human reality underneath?

In this episode, Idit Sharoni, LMFT, and our team of licensed infidelity recovery experts at Relationship Experts, offer a grounded, non-sensationalized discussion of what we’re calling the “Coldplay Affair.”

We dive into the emotional, relational, and societal layers of this story—from how betrayal impacts all parties involved, to the harm of public shaming, and why American culture often gets these stories wrong.

You’ll hear us explore:

• The quick and ruthless public reaction: no judge, no jury, just instant verdicts

• Gossip vs. Reality: what the headlines don’t show

• How high-profile relationships and careers create “relational atomic bombs” when betrayal is exposed

• The quiet pain of hurt partners, often made worse by public humiliation

• Why it's time to stop acting shocked and start understanding the complexity of infidelity

We’re not here to gossip. We’re here to talk responsibly, with compassion and realism. If you’re tired of the toxic spin on infidelity stories, this conversation will feel like a breath of fresh air.

Resources Mentioned: Learn more about our Infidelity Recovery Program – It’s Okay to Stay: https://iditsharoni.com/infidelity-recovery-program

Schedule a free 45-minute consultation with one of our specialists: https://iditsharoni.com/schedule

Listen to more podcast episodes: https://iditsharoni.com/podcast

Connect With Us: Instagram: @therelationshipexperts

Website: https://iditsharoni.com

🎬 Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction to the Coldplay affair discussion 02:28 Meet the experts: Idit, Yael, and Ana introduce themselves 04:02 The Byron-Cabot affair and the idea of a "relational atomic bomb" 06:19 Why this situation is different: public exposure and professional implications 08:13 Social media virality and gloating: modern public shaming 10:10 The "quickest trial on earth": judgments without context 12:09 Moral superiority and the myth of "those people who cheat" 14:35 Digital courtrooms and the cultural impact on infidelity recovery 16:32 The ripple effect of betrayal on relationships and society 18:52 Judgment vs. empathy: what defines us after mistakes 20:41 Personal messages to current and future clients feeling triggered 22:47 What are these couples really going through behind the scenes? 25:04 The emotional crisis of both hurt and unfaithful partners 27:32 Public judgment and the deep shame of staying after betrayal 28:55 Wider impact on families, children, and the healing process 31:16 What would we say to the couples involved if they’re listening? 32:09 Messages of hope, protection, and the right to privacy 35:50 How to build a safe emotional cocoon after betrayal 37:54 This is a trauma: validating what they’re experiencing 40:05 Infidelity is a relational issue, not just an individual one 41:33 Final thoughts: Let it stay their business 42:41 Closing wishes and wrap-up

Tags: infidelity recovery, Coldplay affair, Andy Byron, relationship podcast, public shaming, affair recovery, cheating, marital betrayal, relationship experts, It’s Okay to Stay, affair fallout

 

If you or your partner are navigating the aftermath of infidelity and wondering whether the sexual behavior involved was really “sex addiction,” this episode is a must-listen.

In Episode 86, I’m unpacking one of the most common and confusing questions couples face after betrayal: Is it sex addiction—or is something else going on?

We’ll explore:

• Why “sex addiction” is not a recognized mental health diagnosis in the DSM-5

• The risk of mislabeling sexual behavior and missing the deeper emotional drivers

• What the Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB) model is and why it offers a more compassionate, effective path forward

• Actionable next steps for couples dealing with out-of-control sexual behavior—including excessive porn use or secretive sexual activity

This episode is especially supportive for couples who want to move beyond shame, blame, or one-size-fits-all labels and into real, values-based healing.

💛 Ready to take the next step in your healing? Book a FREE 45-minute consultation to learn how our It’s Okay to Stay Infidelity Recovery Program can help you rebuild trust, restore connection, and create something new—together.

👉 Schedule your consultation here: iditsharoni.com/45

When infidelity is revealed, the hurt partner often experiences a deep sense of disorientation and a desperate need for answers. Many ask: Do I need to know every detail to heal—or am I just digging deeper into more pain?

In this episode of Relationships Uncomplicated, Idit Sharoni is joined by Dr. Yael Haklai-Neagu to explore a phase many couples get stuck in after betrayal: the forensic data collection phase. This is when questions about the affair—ranging from timelines to explicit details—dominate the recovery process, sometimes for months or even years.

Together, they discuss:

• Why the urge to gather every detail is completely normal

• What it looks like when this phase becomes a barrier to healing

• How to know if you're still seeking coherence or getting stuck in the pain

• Real-life examples of couples navigating this phase

• Actionable steps to help you move forward, even when not all the answers are there

This episode offers clarity, compassion, and a gentle roadmap out of a phase that often feels endless. Whether you're the hurt partner or the unfaithful partner, you’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of how to shift from stuck to supported.

If this episode resonates with you and you’re ready for expert guidance, we invite you to schedule a free 45-minute consultation to learn more about our infidelity recovery program, It’s Okay To Stay. Visit iditsharoni.com/45 to get started.

In this eye-opening episode, Idit Sharoni, licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in affair recovery, dives into one of the most common mistakes couples make after infidelity: postponing the healing process.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that time alone will heal the wounds of betrayal, but the truth is, avoiding the hard work of healing can leave lasting scars on your relationship. From lingering pain and resentment to recurring trust issues, skipping this crucial step can silently erode your connection over time.

In this episode, Idit explores why healing after infidelity is non-negotiable, the hidden costs of avoidance, and how to take meaningful steps toward rebuilding trust and intimacy. Whether you’re in the early stages of recovery or feeling stuck in a “good enough” relationship, this episode offers hope, clarity, and actionable advice to help you move forward.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• What the “stabilization trap” is and how it can keep couples stuck after infidelity.
• The long-term risks of postponing healing, including unresolved pain, resentment, and recurring infidelity.
• Why time alone doesn’t heal wounds—intentional effort does.
• How to rebuild trust and connection through open communication and shared goals.
• Actionable steps to start the healing process and prevent future issues.
• Common fears about healing after infidelity and how to overcome them.

Who This Episode is For:

• Couples who’ve chosen to stay together after infidelity but feel stuck in their healing journey.
• Hurt partners struggling with lingering pain or trust issues.
• Unfaithful partners looking to understand how to rebuild trust and connection.
• Anyone curious about the process of affair recovery and how to create a stronger, healthier relationship.

Key Takeaways:

• Time doesn’t heal all wounds—effort does. Healing requires intentional action and commitment from both partners.
• Avoiding healing has hidden costs. Lingering pain, resentment, and a lack of trust can quietly damage your relationship over time.
• Rebuilding trust is possible. Open communication, emotional processing, and a shared vision for the future are key to creating a stronger relationship.

Resources and Links:

• Ready to take the next step? Check out my affair recovery program, It’s Okay to Stay and book a free consultation. Check it here: Affair Recovery Program
• Missed Episode 80: “How to Rebuild Trust After Infidelity”? Listen here: Episode 80
• Curious about Episode 78: “Can Conventional Couples Therapy Help you Heal from Infidelity”? Catch up here: Episode 78
• Read this show's blog post Read it here

Are you struggling to heal after an affair when your partner isn’t fully remorseful? Join us for this eye-opening episode of "Relationships Uncomplicated," where host Idit Sharoni, LMFT, along with experts Dr. Yael Haklai-Neagu and Ana De la Cruz, delves into whether couples can recover from infidelity without genuine remorse from the unfaithful partner. Can a relationship truly heal under these conditions? Tune in to find out!

In this episode, we discuss:

• The crucial role of remorse in the healing process
• Strategies for dealing with partial or absent remorse
• Real-life examples and metaphors that illustrate the complexities of infidelity and remorse
• How to create a roadmap to healing even in challenging situations

Don't miss this engaging and insightful conversation that could transform your understanding of infidelity recovery.

Ready to take the next step? Check out our Infidelity Recovery Program: https://relationshipexpertsonline.com/affair-recovery-program

Consider scheduling a 45-minute transformative consultation: https://relationshipexpertsonline.com/consultation

Read the show notes in a blog: https://relationshipexpertsonline.com/can-trust-be-rebuilt-after-infidelity-without-full-remorse/

Follow us on social media for more insights and updates:

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• Facebook: [Your Facebook Page]
• Twitter: [Your Twitter Handle]

If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with others who might benefit from our insights. Thank you for listening, and remember, healing is possible with the right guidance and support.

🎙️ Welcome to Episode 82 of the Relationships Uncomplicated podcast! In this episode, titled "Overcoming Biases in Infidelity Recovery," host Idit Sharoni, LMFT delves into a topic that's often overlooked but profoundly impactful: the biases surrounding infidelity.

💔 Infidelity doesn't just shake the foundation of relationships—it's the aftermath, the fallout, and the biases that can color our perceptions and decisions. Join Idit as she explores this complex issue with therapist Alana Tokayer, MS, who brings a unique perspective gained from working closely with couples navigating the aftermath of infidelity.

🔍 Together, they uncover societal norms, personal experiences, and therapist biases that shape our understanding of infidelity and its aftermath. Discover why biases towards leaving or staying after infidelity exist, and learn valuable insights into advocating for yourself, whether with friends, family, or therapists, as you navigate the complexities of healing after betrayal.

🍵 Grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and tune in to this enlightening conversation on bias in the aftermath of infidelity. Don't forget to subscribe to the Relationships Uncomplicated podcast for more insightful discussions on relationships and healing.

Important links:

• Infidelity Recovery Program: https://relationshipexpertsonline.com/affair-recovery-program
• Free 45-minute consultation: https://relationshipexpertsonline.com/consultation 
• Affair Recovery Website: https://relationshipexpertsonline.com
• Main website: www.relationshipexperts.com
• Show notes: https://relationshipexpertsonline.com/surviving-infidelity-overcoming-bias-in-the-aftermath

If you found today's episode valuable, consider leaving a like, comment, and subscribing to our channel for more content. Thank you for joining us on this journey of understanding and healing. #RelationshipsUncomplicated #InfidelityRecovery #SelfAdvocacy #BiasAwareness

In this episode of the Relationships Uncomplicated podcast, host and affair recovery expert Idit Sharoni, LMFT delves into the intricate process of navigating healing when both partners have been unfaithful.

Titled "A Guide to Joint Recovery When Infidelity Strikes Both Ways," Idit explores the complexities of mutual infidelity, where betrayal isn't confined to one side. Drawing from her experience as an affair recovery expert, she shares insights on how couples can overcome this challenging situation and rebuild their relationship.

Through compassionate storytelling and practical advice, Idit highlights the unique opportunities for growth and healing that arise from shared experiences of betrayal. Join her as she empowers listeners to navigate the aftermath of mutual infidelity with resilience, empathy, and hope.

 

If you and your partner are navigating the challenging journey of affair recovery, understanding how to rebuild trust after infidelity is crucial. In this episode, we delve into the intricate process of earning back trust that has been lost in a relationship.

Join us as we explore the evolution of the concepts of blind trust versus open-eyed trust, drawing from experiences working with couples healing from infidelity. Our discussion takes a unique turn as we question the commonly used term "rebuilding trust" and introduce a more nuanced perspective inspired by an enlightening article by trust expert Rachel Botsman.

To shed light on this profound shift in perspective, we are joined by Dr. Yael Haklai-Neagu, one of our lead therapists at Relationship Experts. Together, we unravel the differences between rebuilding and earning trust in the aftermath of infidelity.

We draw insights from Botsman's groundbreaking ideas, emphasizing the importance of collaboration in the trust dynamic. Dr. Yael shares her thoughts on the critical roles of the Trust Giver (the hurt partner) and the Trust Receiver (the unfaithful partner) in the healing process.

The discussion extends to the obstacles that can hinder trust-building, such as entitlement and unyielding rejection. We explore the delicate balance required from both partners, acknowledging the collaborative effort needed for genuine healing.

Central to our conversation is the distinction between trust as a belief and trust as behavior. We explore actionable tips on how the unfaithful partner can act in trustworthy ways, including transparency, accountability, and consistency.

The episode concludes with practical do's and don'ts for couples seeking to earn trust after infidelity, emphasizing the importance of allowing trust to be earned and acting in consistent, intentional, and trustworthy ways.

Whether you're in the midst of affair recovery or seeking insights into trust dynamics, this episode provides valuable guidance on the journey to rebuilding and earning trust. Join us as we navigate the complexities of trust in the aftermath of infidelity and offer practical steps for couples looking to heal and move forward.

[Listen to the full episode on the podcast for a deeper exploration of trust dynamics and actionable tips for affair recovery, or read the full blog post.]

In this intriguing podcast episode, the topic of love and betrayal takes center stage, prompting us to explore the complex dynamics that arise when the people we cherish deeply hurt us.

Idit Sharoni hosts her team of experts in order to shed a light on this topic. She begins with asking Alana Tokayer, a Marriage & Family Therapist and Program Specialist to describe what she notices with couples in the aftermath of infidelity grappling with this question. Alana sets the stage by highlighting the profound impact of betrayal when it comes from someone we consider our best friend, our everything.

As a therapist, Alana has witnessed couples grappling with the aftermath of infidelity, and the burning question always lingers: "How can someone who loves me betray me?" This inquiry lies at the heart of the episode, as it dives into the intricacies of understanding the coexistence of love and betrayal in modern relationships.

Alana is joined by a team of experts, including Yael Haklai-Neagu and Ana De la Cruz, both licensed Marriage & Family Therapists specializing in relationships and affair recovery. Together, they shed light on how partners can make sense of the painful dilemma caused by infidelity.

Throughout the episode, the team offers valuable insights and tips for coping with this conundrum, emphasizing the importance of questioning assumptions and challenging thought patterns that hinder healing. They discuss how love and betrayal can coexist, urging listeners to reconsider their perceptions of loyalty and love.

The episode concludes with three practical tips for healing after infidelity, shared by Alana, Ana, and Yael. These tips emphasize the significance of intentionality, open-mindedness, and reframing one's perspective to navigate the challenging journey of rebuilding trust and love after betrayal.

Listeners are left with a thought-provoking exploration of the complex interplay between love and betrayal in relationships. The episode encourages us to reevaluate our beliefs about loyalty, love, and the potential for healing and growth after experiencing infidelity. If you're seeking guidance on affair recovery or intrigued by the intricate dynamics of love and betrayal, this podcast episode promises valuable insights and a deeper understanding of these complex emotions.

Read the show notes 

Learn about our Infidelity recovery Program

Schedule a free 45-minute consultation

See our website