Relatively Speaking Podcast

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is back after the first weekend of the NBA Playoffs. Thanks to that, you just know the hot-takes have been baking in the over for several hours at this point.

What were some of the weekend's biggest stories?

Unfortunately, one of them was a tragic loss of a sibling for the best player on the Boston Celtics. After discussing Charles Barkley's comments on the video package aired before the game, Jared and Joseph explain how Boston isn't in trouble because they are bad, but because the Celtics will never have the best player on the floor in any round.

Also, Danny Ainge must hate not trading the untouchable Terry Rozier, right? Right.

Jared's boy -- Malcolm "College" Brogdon -- player well; Joseph's #PlayoffPortis hashtag is now a thing (it isn't but should be); and the Cleveland Cavaliers still don't play defense.

It is worth noting that at some point, Jared once again tried to breakup the Clippers.

The 2001 and 2002 NBA Drafts were randomly broken down!

What in the hell is happening with the New York Knicks? Was Allan Houston a star? Did you know that LaVor Postell was the greatest shooting guard in the history of the NBA?

To end this fine edition of the Relatively Speaking Podcast, Absurd Questions returns in all its glory.

Jared wants to know about Joseph's crumb-outtake.

Joseph wants to know if Jared would like to reignite the Blockbluster Video brand.

PSA: If it ain't broken, don't fix it... but keeping it modern via timely upkeep would be wise.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is back after the first weekend of the NBA Playoffs. Thanks to that, you just know the hot-takes have been baking in the over for several hours at this point.

What were some of the weekend's biggest stories?

Unfortunately, one of them was a tragic loss of a sibling for the best player on the Boston Celtics. After discussing Charles Barkley's comments on the video package aired before the game, Jared and Joseph explain how Boston isn't in trouble because they are bad, but because the Celtics will never have the best player on the floor in any round.

Also, Danny Ainge must hate not trading the untouchable Terry Rozier, right? Right.

Jared's boy -- Malcolm "College" Brogdon -- player well; Joseph's #PlayoffPortis hashtag is now a thing (it isn't but should be); and the Cleveland Cavaliers still don't play defense.

It is worth noting that at some point, Jared once again tried to breakup the Clippers.

The 2001 and 2002 NBA Drafts were randomly broken down!

What in the hell is happening with the New York Knicks? Was Allan Houston a star? Did you know that LaVor Postell was the greatest shooting guard in the history of the NBA?

To end this fine edition of the Relatively Speaking Podcast, Absurd Questions returns in all its glory.

Jared wants to know about Joseph's crumb-outtake.

Joseph wants to know if Jared would like to reignite the Blockbluster Video brand.

PSA: If it ain't broken, don't fix it... but keeping it modern via timely upkeep would be wise.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is here to console you like the good friend it is. Your significant other cheated on you with your neighbor Walter? No worries!

Anyway, this edition of the podcast is NBA Playoffs specific. To help Jared and Joseph discuss all the professional basketball tomfoolery, FanRag Sports' NBA Managing Editor, Jason Patt, joins the show. Whether or not he regretted his decision five minutes in is a question only he can answer.

As it has become the show's custom, we get to know Jason with Five Rapid Fire Questions. We learned several interesting things about this talented writer during this segment. Most notably, he is pro-eating babies.

As for the rest of the show:

Does anyone have a shot at beating Golden State?

Will the Cleveland Cavaliers coast through the East again?

First round match-up you're most excited for?

Any chance of a first round upset?

Player(s) you're most looking forward to watching in the playoffs?

Then the show ends as it always does, with Absurd Questions. Despite shoehorning some of them into the Rabid Fire Questions portion of the podcast, Jared and Joseph (and Jason) do their best to make the end of the program as hot as a million flame emoji, well, emojis.

This was likely the greatest podcast ever recorded. You can ask anyone about this episode of the podcast, and you know what they would tell you? "That the Relatively Speaking Podcast with special guest Jason Patt was the best produced podcast in the history of all of podcasting."

Something like that.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is here to console you like the good friend it is. Your significant other cheated on you with your neighbor Walter? No worries!

Anyway, this edition of the podcast is NBA Playoffs specific. To help Jared and Joseph discuss all the professional basketball tomfoolery, FanRag Sports' NBA Managing Editor, Jason Patt, joins the show. Whether or not he regretted his decision five minutes in is a question only he can answer.

As it has become the show's custom, we get to know Jason with Five Rapid Fire Questions. We learned several interesting things about this talented writer during this segment. Most notably, he is pro-eating babies.

As for the rest of the show:

Does anyone have a shot at beating Golden State?

Will the Cleveland Cavaliers coast through the East again?

First round match-up you're most excited for?

Any chance of a first round upset?

Player(s) you're most looking forward to watching in the playoffs?

Then the show ends as it always does, with Absurd Questions. Despite shoehorning some of them into the Rabid Fire Questions portion of the podcast, Jared and Joseph (and Jason) do their best to make the end of the program as hot as a million flame emoji, well, emojis.

This was likely the greatest podcast ever recorded. You can ask anyone about this episode of the podcast, and you know what they would tell you? "That the Relatively Speaking Podcast with special guest Jason Patt was the best produced podcast in the history of all of podcasting."

Something like that.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is here to help you ease into your work week. Why? Because that is just what friends do!

This episode of the future award-winning podcast hits on some pretty important topics.

James Harden recently said that wins are the most important aspect when discussing who should win the NBA MVP. What do Jared and Joseph think about that? It is complicated.

The Sopranos did not age well.

Tim Tebow is basically Barry Bonds.

Do you know what ground bologna is?

A weird headline caught both of the hosts' eyeballs this morning. It inspired a slew of bad jokes, all of which ended with "after grandma died." It is great... or maybe you had to be there.

Did you watch baseball yet? Joseph and Jared have. The latter can even name nine members of the famed New York Yankees. As for the former, if you need great knowledge about Jay Bruce or the bottom-half of the first inning of the Marlins-Mets game, he is your go to source!

Absurd Questions remains disturbingly absurd this week. Forget whatever the hell it was that Joseph asked, Jared brought a flamethrower to this awesome party.

He would like to know how one would like to make babies if unable to do so by way of the traditional method. There were almost a billion answers to this fine and riveting question.

You can follow both hosts on Twitter, but you will have to work for it. We won't plug it here because the Internet has you guys all spoiled and entitled. You're going to have to -- gasp -- Google it.

PSA: Don't drive and punch a walrus at the same time.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is here to help you ease into your work week. Why? Because that is just what friends do!

This episode of the future award-winning podcast hits on some pretty important topics.

James Harden recently said that wins are the most important aspect when discussing who should win the NBA MVP. What do Jared and Joseph think about that? It is complicated.

The Sopranos did not age well.

Tim Tebow is basically Barry Bonds.

Do you know what ground bologna is?

A weird headline caught both of the hosts' eyeballs this morning. It inspired a slew of bad jokes, all of which ended with "after grandma died." It is great... or maybe you had to be there.

Did you watch baseball yet? Joseph and Jared have. The latter can even name nine members of the famed New York Yankees. As for the former, if you need great knowledge about Jay Bruce or the bottom-half of the first inning of the Marlins-Mets game, he is your go to source!

Absurd Questions remains disturbingly absurd this week. Forget whatever the hell it was that Joseph asked, Jared brought a flamethrower to this awesome party.

He would like to know how one would like to make babies if unable to do so by way of the traditional method. There were almost a billion answers to this fine and riveting question.

You can follow both hosts on Twitter, but you will have to work for it. We won't plug it here because the Internet has you guys all spoiled and entitled. You're going to have to -- gasp -- Google it.

PSA: Don't drive and punch a walrus at the same time.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is back and Better Than Ezra! Today's show is so good that it will certainly alter your life forever.

After discussing Teddy Ruxpin to begin the show (kind of), it is off to the land of misfit toys. Jared and Joseph discuss the latest words to come out the mouth of Lavar Ball. They weren't great works, but the guys are basically tired of everyone (including this podcast) giving him a platform because his sons -- and not Ball himself -- happen to be good at a sport.

A smooth transition to Tony Romo heading to CBS is then head. Joseph makes the argument that he got the job the same way Phil Sims did, and that it won't matter because no one watches football games for the announcing teams. Jared thinks Romo is cute... or something.

That Don't Look Good returns this week. It is a James Dolan special. Oddly, Joseph kind of gets where the awful NBA owner was coming from. Jared wasn't as kind with his thoughts on the man.

To finish off what was surely a great work week for you fine members of the human species, the Relatively Speaking Podcast's AMA segment was great this week. In fact, you can ask anyone about this week's AMA, and you know what they would tell you?

"That it was the greatest AMA segment in the history of podcasts."

PSA: (Hopefully you will listen to the show to understand this important public service announcement) Put the poop in the basket.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is back and Better Than Ezra! Today's show is so good that it will certainly alter your life forever.

After discussing Teddy Ruxpin to begin the show (kind of), it is off to the land of misfit toys. Jared and Joseph discuss the latest words to come out the mouth of Lavar Ball. They weren't great works, but the guys are basically tired of everyone (including this podcast) giving him a platform because his sons -- and not Ball himself -- happen to be good at a sport.

A smooth transition to Tony Romo heading to CBS is then head. Joseph makes the argument that he got the job the same way Phil Sims did, and that it won't matter because no one watches football games for the announcing teams. Jared thinks Romo is cute... or something.

That Don't Look Good returns this week. It is a James Dolan special. Oddly, Joseph kind of gets where the awful NBA owner was coming from. Jared wasn't as kind with his thoughts on the man.

To finish off what was surely a great work week for you fine members of the human species, the Relatively Speaking Podcast's AMA segment was great this week. In fact, you can ask anyone about this week's AMA, and you know what they would tell you?

"That it was the greatest AMA segment in the history of podcasts."

PSA: (Hopefully you will listen to the show to understand this important public service announcement) Put the poop in the basket.

What has four thumbs, is smarter than your average bear, and believes in the Mandela Effect? If you guessed the Relatively Speaking Podcast, then you are likely the greatest human being currently walking on the planet.

This special post-NCAA title game show is a straight flame emoji on top of an ice cream emoji that is beside a 100 emoji. It is, seriously, that good.

The show begins with Jared wishing Joseph a belated birthday, and the latter discussing how much closer to death he is. After the sadness, however, it is NCAA Tournament title game talk!

Both of the hosts agree that the game was uglier than your really ugly friend. Teams shooting below 36 percent from three, foul troubles all over, and a flow to the game was never found. But it was a close game... so yay?

Georgetown hired Patrick Ewing. Joseph and Jared have reasons for optimism, but also for concern. The dastardly duo discuss.

Did you know that The Undertaker is a dead person? Well, he is -- at least in the world of wrestling. Despite being a reanimated corpse, this man from the afterlife somehow aged, decomposed and is no longer able to put on quality wrestling matches. Jared and Joseph say their goodbyes to the Deadman.

Absurd Questions are patently absurd this week. For real. We, basically, find out that Joseph wants to be a vampire because he believes it will inch him closer to landing a date with Christina Ricci.

What a complete and total loser.

What has four thumbs, is smarter than your average bear, and believes in the Mandela Effect? If you guessed the Relatively Speaking Podcast, then you are likely the greatest human being currently walking on the planet.

This special post-NCAA title game show is a straight flame emoji on top of an ice cream emoji that is beside a 100 emoji. It is, seriously, that good.

The show begins with Jared wishing Joseph a belated birthday, and the latter discussing how much closer to death he is. After the sadness, however, it is NCAA Tournament title game talk!

Both of the hosts agree that the game was uglier than your really ugly friend. Teams shooting below 36 percent from three, foul troubles all over, and a flow to the game was never found. But it was a close game... so yay?

Georgetown hired Patrick Ewing. Joseph and Jared have reasons for optimism, but also for concern. The dastardly duo discuss.

Did you know that The Undertaker is a dead person? Well, he is -- at least in the world of wrestling. Despite being a reanimated corpse, this man from the afterlife somehow aged, decomposed and is no longer able to put on quality wrestling matches. Jared and Joseph say their goodbyes to the Deadman.

Absurd Questions are patently absurd this week. For real. We, basically, find out that Joseph wants to be a vampire because he believes it will inch him closer to landing a date with Christina Ricci.

What a complete and total loser.