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REPUBLISHED Ep86 Difficult Conversations—Scott Dutton
Scott Dutton is the Conflict Whisperer; a global expert on
difficult conversations, Conflict intelligence®, mediation, emotional
intelligence and workplace culture. As a professional speaker he's known as the fun-maker and spoken to over 25,000 professionals as a speaker or facilitator.
Q. What makes a culture unravel? What toxic behavior is most
prevalent?
Where there's an us-and-them culture, where it gets very
much management vs. staff, where people do not feel comfortable or safe to have
those difficult conversations. Teams need to have a model on how to have those
difficult conversations. one I use is based on a Harvard model; start by asking questions to understand.
A trap in difficult conversations is if they start provoking
the other person and put them on the back foot then - you get defensiveness.
It's being mindful about how you start, and also your tone and body language
and how that comes across; all those things play a part in whether that
conversation is going to go well or not.
The purpose initially is to understand each other before
starting to look at solutions. It's going in open, curious, trying to
understand the other, them understanding you, and then we find a way forward.
If everyone has a model like that it makes it easier.
“Calling it out” is when you see something inappropriate,
you go, 'Hey, hang on there, I'm uncomfortable with that." You make it
clear.
“Calling it in” is more subtle. What it is, I might see you
raise an eye at someone in the meeting, or do something more subtle and I might
say, “I just wondered, in the meeting I saw you make an interesting facial
expression when Mary was talking. I'm just wondering what was going on for you
there?"
I'm not coming in with judgment. I'm coming in with a soft
curiosity and saying, "Hey what's going on there? I saw that."
CONTACT Scott Dutton
go to: https://fightingfair.com.au/
ABOUT PODCAST HOST, NINA
SUNDAY
Nina Sunday’s latest book, ‘’Manage Self, Lead Others:
Constructive Conversations, True Self-Leadership, and Culture You Can’t Fake’’
now on Amazon - paperback or kindle.
Amazon USA https://a.co/d/3WaplI9
Amazon Australia https://amzn.asia/d/0KwghaM
You can read the Kindle version on your PC, laptop or
phone; you don’t need a Kindle device. Feel free to leave a review so others
know it’s a good read.
===
Brainpower Training
To learn more about face-to-face training programs with
Nina Sunday or one of her experienced Facilitators from Brainpower Training Pty
Ltd in Australia Pacific, visit: https://www.brainpowertraining.com.au/signature-programs/
===
NinaSunday.com
To visit Nina Sunday's speaker site for global
in-person speaking bookings visit: https://www.ninasunday.com/
===
LinkedIn: Connect with Nina Sunday on LinkedIn HERE
===
Blog
To subscribe to Nina Sunday's blog go to https://www.brainpowertraining.com.au/
and scroll to bottom of page to register.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
View all episodes
By Nina Sunday
5
33 ratings
Scott Dutton is the Conflict Whisperer; a global expert on
difficult conversations, Conflict intelligence®, mediation, emotional
intelligence and workplace culture. As a professional speaker he's known as the fun-maker and spoken to over 25,000 professionals as a speaker or facilitator.
Q. What makes a culture unravel? What toxic behavior is most
prevalent?
Where there's an us-and-them culture, where it gets very
much management vs. staff, where people do not feel comfortable or safe to have
those difficult conversations. Teams need to have a model on how to have those
difficult conversations. one I use is based on a Harvard model; start by asking questions to understand.
A trap in difficult conversations is if they start provoking
the other person and put them on the back foot then - you get defensiveness.
It's being mindful about how you start, and also your tone and body language
and how that comes across; all those things play a part in whether that
conversation is going to go well or not.
The purpose initially is to understand each other before
starting to look at solutions. It's going in open, curious, trying to
understand the other, them understanding you, and then we find a way forward.
If everyone has a model like that it makes it easier.
“Calling it out” is when you see something inappropriate,
you go, 'Hey, hang on there, I'm uncomfortable with that." You make it
clear.
“Calling it in” is more subtle. What it is, I might see you
raise an eye at someone in the meeting, or do something more subtle and I might
say, “I just wondered, in the meeting I saw you make an interesting facial
expression when Mary was talking. I'm just wondering what was going on for you
there?"
I'm not coming in with judgment. I'm coming in with a soft
curiosity and saying, "Hey what's going on there? I saw that."
CONTACT Scott Dutton
go to: https://fightingfair.com.au/
ABOUT PODCAST HOST, NINA
SUNDAY
Nina Sunday’s latest book, ‘’Manage Self, Lead Others:
Constructive Conversations, True Self-Leadership, and Culture You Can’t Fake’’
now on Amazon - paperback or kindle.
Amazon USA https://a.co/d/3WaplI9
Amazon Australia https://amzn.asia/d/0KwghaM
You can read the Kindle version on your PC, laptop or
phone; you don’t need a Kindle device. Feel free to leave a review so others
know it’s a good read.
===
Brainpower Training
To learn more about face-to-face training programs with
Nina Sunday or one of her experienced Facilitators from Brainpower Training Pty
Ltd in Australia Pacific, visit: https://www.brainpowertraining.com.au/signature-programs/
===
NinaSunday.com
To visit Nina Sunday's speaker site for global
in-person speaking bookings visit: https://www.ninasunday.com/
===
LinkedIn: Connect with Nina Sunday on LinkedIn HERE
===
Blog
To subscribe to Nina Sunday's blog go to https://www.brainpowertraining.com.au/
and scroll to bottom of page to register.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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