Resignation

Would you respond to a craigslist ad asking you to be a pirate? What a gig. What about paying someone to go on a date? A date simulation? That’s like the opposite of a sugar daddy. Depression daddy. Shoji Morimoto is there for you depression daddy. The man you can hire out to walk you to the grocery store? And then some….

The boys are back from a break. Joey is gonna get his grand fathers pool cue and will kick Taylor’s ass with it. Pro pool players and pro bowlers. The boys learn about the snake milker. What kind of person wants to do this with their life? Live with the snakes. Be the snake. 1 soul. 1 snake. 1 mind.

Joey takes a week off of drinking and becomes a new man. Now he’s back on the sauce. Taylor stays hitting the sauce. That’s about as American as hating Donald Trump. The boys are vaccinated and they got gigs. The boys talk about Raffi Stepanian. A scavenger of sorts. A picker of flakes. It’s a dumb job but someone has to do it and I guess that someone is Raffi Stepanian.

You ever work for a friend? Oh, Joey’s been fired and Taylor used to steal change. You should never feel bad stealing from Walmart. Who would you hire to be the Groomer of the Stool? Check out my poop. What’s that on my back? Would you like any murdered this week?

A specialist for your specialist. “Thank you, Doctor Dong”. Nobody wanted to bang Joey when he was younger because he was too angry all the time. Taylor was diagnosed with depression when he was 5. A good therapist is few and far between. Resurrectionist. A half legit grave digger. When I’m dead and gone use my body as various human flower pots.

A mother’s best helper is an electirc toothbrush. Do you know a nanny or do you watch The Nanny with Fran Drescher? Joey’s first crush and Taylor wouldn’t bang her now as an old lady. Fran Drescher had a crazy life. Taylor has a brain fart and then gets back on track. If the man who narrates your life dies does your life become a silent film?

Remember the Alamo? Who needs the Alamo when you have Taylors VHS hut. Joey reminisces about working at a game show for children. Taylor loves Cronenberg and Joey's too high to remember who that is. Joey introduces Taylor to the job of The Shomer. Or as Taylor likes to call it, the human dream catcher. Craigzylist special: crime scene cleanup supervisor.

Taylor gets a gun pulled on him. For obvious reasons it appears. What would you do to protect your valuables? Introducing, The Tosher. Someone who finds jewels in the sewer. Also introducing a new segment, The Craigzylist, Joey looks for the craziest gigs he can find on craigslist. Would you clean a random man’s septic tank? It puts the lotion on it’s skin? Tosher’s getting marked in the sewer.

Do you believe in God? Joey talks about growing up in a strict catholic environment. Are you a dog person or a cat person? Either way we’re bouncing them out of the church with the Knocker Knobbler. What if a wild pack of dogs interrupted social gatherings more often? Why are so many wild dogs breaking into these churches?

Aye we got a email address and an instagram. [email protected] and @resignationpodatx. Email us your crazy jobs and we'll riff on them! Wanna know what happened to Sylvia Plath? Who reads, why is it so hard to read. Why is it so hard to pick up a book and start it and then finish it? Taylor collects books but doesn’t read them. Taylor also like cigars and he talk to Joey about the job of “The Lector”. The man who would read to cigar rollers. They discover they’re lectors of a sort. A new segment is created called “The Craigzy List” where Joey finds weird jobs people are offering on craigslist. What a time to be alive.