Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

GET THE FULL TRANSCRIPT: https://s3.membervaultcdn.com/theresilientpeople/Transcript---How-Does-Low-Resilience-Show-Up-In-Our-Kids.pdf?v=1696834081

In this episode, host Ashley Costello, a psychotherapist and author, explores various archetypes of children and teens who display low resilience. She discusses how recognizing these traits can help parents and educators better understand and support their children in building resilience.

Archetype 1: The Perfectionist

Perfectionist children fear failure and have high expectations.

They may become overwhelmed and frustrated when things don't go perfectly.

This can lead to limiting opportunities and avoiding challenges.

Archetype 2: The Comfort Zone Seeker

These children fear success and are concerned about how others view their achievements.

They may avoid trying hard and prefer not to stand out.

The fear of isolation from peers is a common concern.

Archetype 3: The Critic

Kids in this category often engage in negative self-talk.

They may criticize themselves about various aspects, including school subjects and friendships.

Encouraging them to focus on evidence and not commenting on appearance can be helpful.

Archetype 4: The Projector

Projector kids tend to blame others for their problems or mistakes.

They may avoid taking responsibility and use blame as a defense mechanism.

Sometimes, they fear embarrassment and want to appear as experts.

Archetype 5: The Conservative

Conservative children resist change and prefer routine.

They may struggle with confidence and need to know what to expect.

Transitions can be challenging for them, leading to meltdowns.

Archetype 6: The Worrier

These kids worry excessively about a wide range of topics, often out of their control.

Anxiety can escalate quickly if not managed.

Building emotional regulation skills is essential for resilience.

Archetype 7: The Sensitive

Sensitive children are highly attuned to their surroundings and can become easily overwhelmed.

They may cry or react strongly to sensory stimuli.

Acknowledging their needs and providing tools for emotional expression is vital.

The episode emphasizes the importance of recognizing these archetypes, understanding each child's unique needs, and helping them build resilience. Resilience, like confidence, grows when children are given the tools to face challenges and overcome them.

Useful Links

Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share

Waitlist for “The Resilient Teen Book”: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/99191751839844341/share

Waitlist for "The Teen Coaches": https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/99186184125678667/share

Get “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605

Social Links

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid/

Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957

Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello

Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/

Get the full transcript - https://s3.membervaultcdn.com/theresilientpeople/Transcript---Therapy-Why-Kids-Are-Choosing-To-Go.pdf?v=1696846803

Ashley introduces herself as the host of the Resilient Kid podcast and briefly mentions the importance of mental health awareness, especially in the context of Mental Health Awareness Day in the UK.

Tom's Story:

Ashley shares an anecdote about a university student named Tom who was struggling with motivation, substance misuse, and the pressures of finishing his degree. She highlights Tom's positive traits, such as charisma, empathy, and humor.

Therapy and KSI:

Ashley discusses Tom's initial misconception about therapy, comparing it to a doctor's visit. She mentions KSI, a YouTuber, and how he openly shared his therapy journey, emphasizing that therapy is about understanding one's own mind and gaining control over it.

Celebrities and Therapy:

Ashley explores how various celebrities, including Davina McCall, Zendaya, Olly Alexander, and Alex Scott, have openly advocated for therapy. She discusses their experiences and the positive impact it has had on them.

Common Issues Addressed in Therapy:

Ashley outlines the common issues students and young people bring to her, such as concerns about the future, responsibility, self-care, identity, anxiety, substance misuse, and neurodivergent traits.

Therapeutic Approach:

Ashley explains her approach to therapy, emphasizing the importance of meeting each client where they are, providing a safe and trusted space, and offering tools and strategies to navigate life's challenges, including the influence of social media.

Parental Support:

Ashley highlights the significance of parents seeking support when their children are struggling and discusses the value of reaching out to professionals who can help.

Closing Remarks:

Ashley encourages listeners to take care of themselves and each other during Mental Health Awareness Day and shares her contact information for questions or inquiries. She also extends an invitation to anyone interested in pursuing a career in therapy.

Useful Links

Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share

Waitlist for “The Resilient Teen Book”: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/99191751839844341/share

Waitlist for "The Teen Coaches": https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/99186184125678667/share

Get “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605

Social Links

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid/

Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957

Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello

Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/

Full Transcript

- Host: Ashley Costello, Psychotherapist with over 25 years of experience.

- Mention of Mental Health Awareness Week on October 10th.

- Acknowledgment that kids' mental health issues can sometimes sneak up on parents.

Why Self-Care Matters for Kids

- Discussion on the importance of teaching kids about self-care.

- Emphasizing the role of parents as models for self-care behaviors.

- Contrasting common media depictions of self-care with what kids really need to know.

Self-Care Basics for Kids

- Breakdown of age-appropriate self-care practices.

- Hygiene: Washing, showering, brushing teeth, and hair.

- Nutrition: Understanding the role of nutrition in physical and mental well-being.

- Hydration: The significance of drinking enough water.

- Managing Energy: Recognizing and managing introverted and extroverted tendencies.

- Avoiding Comparison: The impact of social media and the importance of self-identity.

- Encouraging open conversations about these topics with kids.

The Impact of Online Gaming and Social Media

- Discussion on the addictive nature of online platforms.

- How the constant reward system in gaming affects the brain.

- Insights into the effects of social media on self-esteem and self-worth.

- The importance of teaching kids to regulate tech usage responsibly.

The Role of Sleep in Self-Care

- Stressing the importance of sufficient sleep for both physical and mental health.

- Age-appropriate guidelines for hours of sleep.

- Tips for establishing good sleep hygiene, including avoiding screens before bedtime.

Recognizing Signs of Stress in Kids

- Identifying physical and behavioral signs of stress in children.

- Understanding that kids may perceive different things as stressful.

- Encouraging open communication and offering support when kids are stressed.

Parental Self-Care

- The significance of parents taking care of their physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

- Importance of parents as role models for self-care.

- Brené Brown's quote: "We can't practice compassion with others if we can't treat ourselves kindly."

Closing:

- A reminder to parents to prioritize their self-care.

- Mention of the book "A Parent's Guide to Raising a Resilient Kid" for more in-depth tips.

- Gratitude for listeners joining the podcast.

Useful Links

Sign up to our newsletter

Waitlist for “The Resilient Teen Book”

Waitlist for "The Teen Coaches"

Get “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book

Social Links

Facebook

Instagram

LinkedIn

Pinterest

Youtube

Website

GET THE FULL TRANSCRIPT⁠ - https://s3.membervaultcdn.com/theresilientpeople/Transcript---Tenacity-and-How-To-Build-It-In-Our-Kids.pdf?v=1695809862

Welcome back to The Resilient Kid Podcast! I'm your host, Ashley Costello, a psychotherapist with over 25 years of experience working with children, adolescents, and adults. Today, we'll discuss an important trait: tenacity, and how we can nurture it in our children.

About My Clients

I work with clients of all ages, from 5 to 83.

My current clients are divided into three groups: school-aged children, university students (via Zoom), and adults supporting families.

My Approach to Therapy

I value confidentiality, but I also believe in sharing information with parents or teachers when it can help the child.

Sometimes, I conduct sessions with parents to guide them on supporting their child effectively.

Building Tenacity: Real-Life Example

A real-life story from the weekend involving my 16-year-old daughter, who plays rugby.

Despite a knee injury during a trial for the Irish women's rugby team, my daughter displayed remarkable tenacity.

She wanted to seize the opportunity and didn't give up, even after being offered multiple times to go home.

I emphasized the importance of not shying away from discomfort and taking calculated risks.

The Role of Parents

As parents, we often want to shield our children from discomfort, but sometimes it's essential to let them face challenges.

Encouraging independence and walking them through uncomfortable situations helps build resilience.

It's crucial to let our children learn and grow, even if it means dealing with temporary discomfort.

Conclusion and How to Reach Out

Remember to embrace discomfort and encourage tenacity in your kids.

If you have questions or topics you'd like us to cover, feel free to reach out.

Thank you for listening to The Resilient Kid Podcast. Don't forget to check out my book, "A Parent's Guide to Raising a Resilient Kid," available on Amazon and through local bookshops worldwide. Take care, and let's continue building resilience in our children together!

Useful Links

Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share

Waitlist for “The Resilient Teen Book”: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/99191751839844341/share

Waitlist for "The Teen Coaches": https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/99186184125678667/share

Social Links

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid/

Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957

Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello

Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/

⁠GET THE FULL TRANSCRIPT⁠ - https://s3.membervaultcdn.com/theresilientpeople/Transcript---Kids-Behaviour.pdf?v=1695221070

Welcome to another episode of The Resilient Kid Podcast! In this episode, Ashley Costello, a psychotherapist with over 25 years of experience, delves into the fascinating topic of children's behavior and the impact of differing parenting styles.

Ashley begins by sharing her personal experience of navigating parenting with her husband, highlighting their varying approaches to discipline and routines. She discusses how their diverse family backgrounds and upbringing shaped their parenting perspectives.

The episode emphasizes the importance of parents aligning their expectations and understanding the type of behavior they want to encourage or discourage in their children. Ashley introduces a practical exercise to help parents get on the same page regarding family values and boundaries.

Key Takeaways from the Episode:

Understanding Differences: Recognize that parents often have different parenting styles based on their upbringing, and that's okay.

Compromise is Key: Finding common ground and compromise is essential when parents have differing views on parenting.

Clear Communication: Use the "Want, Needs, and Non-Negotiables" exercise to clarify what behaviors you want to encourage, what is essential, and what is non-negotiable in your family.

Non-Negotiables: Identify non-negotiable rules that both parents agree on to maintain consistency in parenting.

Adaptability: Children are adaptable, and clear rules and boundaries help them feel secure.

Include Children: Involve children in discussions about family values and acceptable behaviors to help them understand the rules better.

Grandparents' Role: Be clear about your non-negotiable rules even when children visit grandparents to maintain consistency.

The episode concludes with Ashley's reminders about her upcoming book, "The Parent's Guide to Raising a Resilient Kid," and the waitlist for "The Resilient Teen Book" and "The Teen Coaches." She also mentions the resources available on the Resilient Academy website.

Useful Links

Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share

Waitlist for “The Resilient Teen Book”: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/99191751839844341/share

Waitlist for "The Teen Coaches": https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/99186184125678667/share

Social Links

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid/

Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957

Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello

Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/

Remember, clear communication and compromise are essential in creating a harmonious parenting environment. Thanks for tuning in to The Resilient Kid Podcast! If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing for more valuable insights on building resilience in children.

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Ashley discusses how her podcast topic changed due to her son's request to play Fortnite. She mentions the positive response from parents regarding this issue. Ashley highlights that the podcast will not only focus on Fortnite but also on how kids persuade their parents.

Why Fortnite is Compelling

Concerns and Setting Limits

Teens' Ability to Persuade

Listener Messages

Conclusion

Useful Links

Social Links

GET THE FULL TRANSCRIPT

Host's Social Links:

Amelia Mayer TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nlcpVAAZ0k

Welcome back to the Resilient Kid podcast! I'm your host, Ashley Costello, a psychotherapist with over 25 years of experience. Today, we're diving deep into

In this episode, we'll explore the profound impact of genuine human connection and the sense of belonging on our children's well-being and resilience.

The Power of Connection: Our lives thrive on real-life, physical connections. It's not just about social media; it's about the meaningful, face-to-face

The Brain and Connection: Research shows that lack of social connection can hinder brain development, leading to potential risks like depression, anxiety, and learning difficulties.

Challenges of Connection: Busy lives can sometimes make it challenging for parents to fully connect with their children. Awareness is the first step toward improving this crucial aspect.

The Importance of Belonging: As kids approach adolescence, they naturally gravitate toward peer groups. However, it's vital for them to understand that they always have a safe and welcoming place within their family.

Amelia Mayer's TEDx Talk: Amelia Mayer's TEDx talk explores the idea of not just belonging but being claimed by at least one person, which is fundamental for children to feel safe, belong, and thrive.

Claiming Your Child: Let your children know without a doubt that they belong in the family unit. Start by actively listening to them and maintaining open

Commit to Connection: Rather than focusing solely on material gifts, spending quality time and creating memorable experiences with your children strengthens your connection.

Model Good Friendship Skills: Parents should model healthy friendship behaviors, discussing both positive and negative aspects of friendships, helping children form healthy relationships.

Look Out for Their Connection Circle: Take an interest in your child's friends and other significant adults in their lives. Understanding their support system

That's a wrap for this episode of the Resilient Kid podcast. Stay connected with Ashley on social media and feel free to reach out with any questions. Be sure

Thank you for joining us today, and we look forward to having you back in the next episode.

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In this episode, Ashley Costello, a psychotherapist specializing in resilience, shares valuable tips for parents and students on how to make the transition back to school or college as smooth as possible. Whether it's a new school year, a new school, or the return after a long summer break, these insights will help everyone prepare mentally and emotionally. 

Key Takeaways:

DiscussExpectations:

Encourage kids to talk about what they're looking forward to in the upcoming school year. Acknowledge their feelings, whether excitement or nervousness, and help them understand these emotions.

Familiarity is Key:

For new school or year transitions, discuss what to expect. Parents should research and share information about the school or college. Encourage kids to recall their pre-visit experiences.

Maintain a Positive Perspective:

Talk about teachers, school, and college in a positive light. Share positive anecdotes and stories from others.

Establish Routine:

Start early to get kids back into a school routine. Practice saying goodbye to ease separation anxiety.

Wake Up the Brain:

Combat summer learning loss by engaging in educational activities. Read, use online resources like BBC Bitesize, and review previous year's work.

Early Bedtimes:

Gradually adjust sleep schedules to align with school routines.

Prepare School Supplies:

Buy necessary school supplies and uniforms. Involve kids in the process, and check what they already have.

Detailed Day-Before Planning:

Discuss the day's schedule, including drop-off, pick-up, and after-school activities. Ensure kids feel confident and prepared.

Celebrate the First Day:

Mark the occasion with a special meal or treat.

Recognize their efforts and make them feel proud.

Closing Remarks:

Ashley wishes all students, no matter their age or size, the best of luck in their new adventures for the year ahead. She encourages listeners to share their experiences and questions in the comments.

Host's Social Links:

Ashley Costello's Website: ⁠https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/⁠

Ashley on Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/ashley.costello.710/⁠

"The Resilient Kid" Book: ⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3qHyfcy⁠

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In this episode, Ashley Costello takes a unique role reversal as she becomes the guest, interviewed by Catherine Sandland. The discussion revolves around Ashley's book "The Resilient Kid" and the concept of creating a supportive village for children. They delve into the purpose of the book, its relevance for parents of various age groups, and the practical takeaways it offers to help build resilience in kids. The conversation also touches on the importance of creating a supportive community for children and the role of parents in helping kids navigate challenges.

Discussion Highlights:

Key Points:

Guest Links:

Host Links:

For more insights and valuable information, listen to the full episode.

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Join us for an inspiring and thought-provoking podcast featuring Ashley, the creator of "The Parents' Guide to a Resilient Kid," and Chantelle, a passionate advocate for accessibility and inclusion. In this engaging two-part conversation, they discuss the importance of building connections, pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones, and making digital content accessible for everyone, including people with disabilities.

Ashley and Chantelle delve into the significance of human connections and how they impact personal growth and happiness. They touch on introversion and extroversion, acknowledging the challenges introverts face in social situations and the value of stepping outside one's comfort zone to expand horizons and enrich experiences.

They also continues with a deeper exploration of making digital platforms, websites, and content accessible for individuals with disabilities. Chantelle, an expert in accessibility, shares invaluable tips on enhancing user experiences, such as underlining links and using alt text for images, making online spaces more welcoming and inclusive for all.

Throughout the podcast, Ashley expresses her heartfelt gratitude to Chantelle for her guidance and support in making her website and course more accessible, and together, they emphasize the power of kindness and being considerate towards others, regardless of their abilities or disabilities.

Whether you're a parent, educator, content creator, or simply someone passionate about promoting inclusivity and understanding, this podcast offers a wealth of insights and practical advice. Be inspired to create a more connected and accessible world, one small act of kindness at a time.

Don't miss this enriching conversation that celebrates diversity, empowers individuals, and champions the cause of accessibility. Listen now and be part of the movement towards a more inclusive and compassionate society.

USEFUL LINKS

For Chantelle:

Chantelle's Website: https://websitefae.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/websitefae

‌

For Ashley:

"The Parents' Guide to a Resilient Kid" Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605

Ashley's Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk