Emotionally intelligent adults would rather resolve the tension in their relationships than dissolve the relationship. You can avoid friction in the first place if you clarify expectations. We all have expectations, but they are not valid if they are unconscious, unrealistic, unspoken, and un-agreed upon. The #1 source of tension in most relationships is unmet expectations. We expect other people to know what we want before we say it. For example: My kids should know I need help around the house. I shouldn’t have to ask. They should just know!

And when we have unmet expectations, we start telling ourselves a story. We make assumptions about another person’s behavior or motives. We end up believing a lie about a person that we made up in our own head! But, you can never assume you know what a person is thinking or feeling. So - the solution is to share the story you’re telling yourself and ask the person for the truth. Check your assumptions!

This is part of what it means to be emotionally intelligent. Remember EQ is the ability to recognize your emotions, regulate them, and understand and influence the feelings of others positively. It gives you the ability to decode emotions (yours and others) and use that awareness to guide your decisions!

Watch this message from Pastor Tim Lucas, and start improving your EQ and your relationships.

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