RESOLVE to Live Forward

You were never created to remain who you were yesterday. Life's greatest adventure is BECOMING who you were always meant to be. You've heard the phrase, "Change is inevitable." It's a true statement, but change almost always begins on the outside. BECOMING is about what's inside of each one of us. Today we talk of the Action of Becoming, and in doing so, becoming what we were always meant to be. 

Our lives do not have to lose meaning after personal devastation. Yes, it's true that "Living Forward" after such times as these may seem meaningless and hopeless, but I have learned that living is a choice. Making the choice to LIVE FORWARD takes great courage. If you have suffered deep loss, I want you to realize that the fact that you are still here, living now, means that there are more chapters left to be written in your story of life. I also want you to realize that to "Begin Again" is not the same as starting over from scratch. You are already equiped with tools to become a greater version of who you were designed to be. You just need courage and intentionality. 

Have you ever noticed that our lives rarely change all at once? Yes, there are occasional life-altering events that occur such as death, accidents, loss of a job, and others, but usuually life is built around the accumulation of small, individual moments that carry us, hopefully, in a forward-living direction. Today's episode is about those small events, or steps, that we take with intention. Living forward is all about taking life one small step at a time, and in so doing, seeing our future emerge as a series of success stories. 

Our "Character" is built one choice at a time. We are not born with a specific type of character. Our personal character is learned, and as we learn, we make more and more choices about that character. This brings us back to the beginning question: Do you like the person you see in the mirror? In most cases, I think we all, for the most part, like ourselves, BUT if we are Forward Living people then we should always be working on the best version of ourselves. If you are still here (alive and functional) then you have opportunities to work on making you a better version of you. 

What is SELF-TALK? Simply put, self-talk is what we say to ourselves about ourselves. If we speak unkindly or harshly about ourselves we have a "Negative" self-talk. This kind of personal, inner conversation creates and fosters limiting beliefs. YES! People will say terrible things, but the greatest stories of invidual success come from people who were treated the most harshly. And yet, they did not allow themselves to embrace and validate those negative things by allowing them to become a part of their story. They refused to believe their negative self-talk. Let's start a NEW CONVERSATION, one sentence at a time. 

The one person that gave your life meaning and purpose is gone. Where do I go from here? That's the expected question of the brokenhearted, but maybe the more important questions is, "WHO AM I NOW?" I've said it before and I will continue to say it, this is not the end of the life that you were meant to live. It's the next chapter of the life you are meant to live. 

What if I thought that I was healing, but suddenly I'm hurting again. I am learning that when I hurt again, it does NOT mean that my healing has failed or even had a setback or relapse. In our journey of grief, the healing process is not a straight line. Today, I want to share with all of you how the sudden and unstoppable death of a precious four-legged fur friend (a cat who was my constant companion since my wife died) brought me to my knees in deep anguish and sorrow. Here's a clue. Unconditional love has a cost. What is that cost? GRIEF and SORROW. My question to you is, would you rather avoid the grief and never truly love without conditions, or would love unconditionally knowing that you will suffer from a brokenheart? I choose to love ... unconditionally. I choose the pain of grief. 

Presence communicates things that words cannot. A text can convey information. An email can convey an idea, but eye-contact, a compassionate voice, a shared silence, even a hand on a shoulder, can communicate humanity. If you are waiting for the right time to connect, in person, with someone, especially someone who has suffered great loss and sorrow, you may be waiting for something that will never happen. I believe that waiting until the time is right means the time will never be right. We're not talking about perfection. We're talking about presence, even when it's uncomfortable. 

I've often said that living forward is not random. It does not happen by accident. LIVING FORWARD IS A CHOICE. However, it is also important to understand that living forward is not about big steps or decisions, but about small steps of faith, hope, and positive momentum. These are the "Baby Steps" that create the results, later, that we will thank ourselves for. 

After a personal heartbreak in our lives, we find ourselves not particularly motivated to live forward with a meaningful purpose. Maybe we hope that "some thing" will show up and gives us new motivation to live with purpose. Usually, that's not the case. I am reminded of Andy's line to Red in "The Shawshank Redemption." Andy turned to Red and simply said, "Get busy living, or get busy dying." Now, that a bit extreme, but finding purpose and living forward require MOVEMENT on our part. Engaging a meaningful and purpose driven life is not random. It starts with one action, then followed by another, and another, etc.