Respect Circles - The Podcast

Here in the United States, we just held midterm elections that broke all kinds of expectations and historical trends. Although the house will have a Republican majority by a very slim margin, the "red wave" of wins that was projected across the country did not happen, even though typically the party of the sitting President does poorly in the midterms. In this episode, we're going to dive deeper into what these results mean, and again talk about the divisions that exist in this country and the communication challenges that come as a result of this divide.

Now more than ever, it feels like the voices at the extreme, or the "fringes", are getting louder and louder, and we want to explore this and do our part to see how we can all listen and move away from these extremes.

And as we've been doing the last few weeks, we're excited to share our latest nominees for our new Models of Respect segment, highlighting people in the world that are living and demonstrating our Respect Circles values. If you have someone in mind that you'd like to nominate and have featured on a future episode, please let us know!

Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and Facebook, and we'd really appreciate you leaving a review on your favorite podcast platform to let us know what you're enjoying about this show. You can also go to https://www.respectcircles.com/voicemail/ to leave us a message and you can also reach us by email, [email protected] to give us your thoughts.

In this episode you'll hear:

• What we are observing on the fringes of both sides of the political spectrum, and where AJ feels we are right now as a society and how we can do things differently [3:01]
• A closer look at the concept of "naive realism" and how this applies to political views in our country at this moment [5:13]
• A life-altering experience that AJ had and how it made him realize he was moving towards the fringes himself [7:18]
• Why the candidate race in Georgia has been garnering so much attention and the many surprises that came out of this race [13:40]
• A discussion around the question of why certain demographics support each of the candidates [15:49]
• What people can or should do, and how we can start the journey back from the fringes [24:50]
• The role that conversational receptiveness plays in listening today [26:50]
• Announcing our Models of Respect for this week [33:00]

Today we want to take some time to dive into the topic of respect in America, or the lack thereof, that we might be seeing and feeling these days. As we've shared, we started Respect Circles because we recognized a growing divide in this country, partially due to people not listening to each other or communicating effectively. We've seen the behavior and harm this has caused, and believe our podcast is one way to open up broader conversations, have respectful debates, and move things forward together.

And we're excited to share our latest nominees for our new Models of Respect segment, highlighting people in the world that are living and demonstrating our Respect Circles values. If you have someone in mind that you'd like to nominate and have featured on a future episode, please let us know!

Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and Facebook, and we'd really appreciate you leaving a review on your favorite podcast platform to let us know what you're enjoying about this show. You can also go to https://www.respectcircles.com/voicemail/ to leave us a message and you can also reach us by email, [email protected] to give us your thoughts.

In this episode you'll hear:

• A discussion around the question of what it truly means to be an American [3:09]
• AJ's family history and how that influences the ways that he feels about being American [5:50]
• The shifts that we are seeing online and on the various social media platforms, and what we think can be done to help people have more respect for one another [9:05]
• One of the main reasons why we may be seeing and hearing more individuals act out at this point in time [10:28]
• What each of us will be committing to this week and an opportunity that exists for you as well [15:52]
• A celebration for our latest Models of Respect [26:32]
• An invitation for you to appear on Respect Circles, have a conversation and perhaps challenge us, respectfully [32:22]

Links & Resources:

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/10/covid-response-forgiveness/671879/

https://www.ted.com/talks/t_morgan_dixon_and_vanessa_garrison_the_trauma_of_systematic_racism_is_killing_black_women_a_first_step_toward_change

World Central Kitchen (Chef José Andrés):

https://wck.org/

It's been an interesting and challenging time for business, companies, and organizations post-pandemic. The work environment changed, both throughout the pandemic and since, and both leaders and employees are trying to navigate this new world.

How do companies re-engage their people, and how do workers gain the new skills that are necessary to operate in a changed workplace where remote and/or hybrid work is the new norm in many situations? Creating new ways of operating together presents both challenges and new opportunities. Today we share our thoughts about what we've learned throughout our own leadership journeys and open a conversation about what might be possible moving forward. We hope to provoke new thinking and inspire you, as a manager or employee, to be a part of creating a workplace that looks much different than it did just a few years ago.

We also talk about "quiet quitting" and "quiet firing" and what it really means in the business arena. And we're excited to share our latest nominees for our new Models of Respect segment, highlighting people in the world that are living and demonstrating our Respect Circles values.

Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and Facebook, and we'd really appreciate you leaving a review on your favorite podcast platform to let us know what you're enjoying about this show. You can also go to https://www.respectcircles.com/voicemail/ to leave us a message and you can also reach us by email, [email protected] to give us your thoughts.

In this episode you'll hear:

• What is "quiet quitting" and how to approach it from a discretionary standpoint as a manager, and the way that co-workers can make a positive impact in these situations [2:24]
• The "3 C's" that AJ looks for with employee engagement, plus how leaders can use this framework to notice when an employee is disengaged [8:00]
• What can be done to help leaders get the skills needed, change their mindsets and to learn how to communicate differently [12:15]
• A look at "quiet firing" and the impact that it can have on company culture and objectives [15:43]
• Why support at work is also a responsibility of the team as a whole, and not just on the manager [19:37]
• Action steps to create the work environment of the future both from a business owner and an employee perspective [22:57]
• A challenge AJ has for older generations of leaders who experienced relationship-building in a different format that what typically exists today [26:53]
• Our Models of Respect for this week and why we are so inspired by these individuals [28:37]

Links & Resources:

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/05/28/who-recognizes-workplace-burnout-as-an-occupational-phenomenon.html

https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidmorel/2022/10/24/its-time-to-speak-up-about-quiet-firing--and-what-to-do-instead/?sh=2459f1fd6a98

https://www.gallup.com/workplace/398306/quiet-quitting-real.aspx?version=print

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinesscouncil/2021/08/12/will-the-gig-economy-become-the-new-working-class-norm/?sh=6d5912b8aee6

https://www.cbsnews.com/video/rabbi-angela-buchdahl-on-the-rise-in-antisemitism-its-roots-and-common-misconceptions-1/

https://www.respectcircles.com/25-the-jewish-experience-why-is-anti-semitism-on-the-rise/

The Three Signs of a Miserable Job: A Fable for Managers (And Their Employees) by Patrick Lencioni

We're back, and thank you for joining us once again! We took a break over the summer to recharge, regroup, and spend a little time with our families, and we're so excited that we'll again be bringing you thought-provoking and meaningful conversations, as we dive into some new topics on the podcast.

We've both really missed having these conversations and we feel, more than ever, that helping people know how they can approach these topics with others is really needed, and we'll be doing our own work as we continue on this path with you as well.

In this episode, you'll hear how there is an opportunity right now, and especially over the next few weeks leading up to the midterm elections in the U.S., to get curious about the information being presented and think about where you are getting it from. Look for some different resources and perspectives, and see if you can come away with a balanced approach to deciding who is best for your local community, your state, and the nation as we move forward. So, get involved, because now is not the time to sit on the sidelines!

We have an exciting new segment debuting today where we highlight people who we refer to as "Models of Respect", and who demonstrate the values of Respect Circles that we promote here and that inspire both of us each and every day. If you have someone you'd like to suggest for this segment and we can feature in an upcoming episode, go to our website, https://respectcircles.com/ and let us know who that person is and why you feel they are such a good role model for others.

Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and Facebook, and we'd really appreciate you leaving a review on your favorite podcast platform to let us know what you're enjoying about this show. You can also go to https://www.respectcircles.com/voicemail/ to leave us a message and you can also reach us by email, [email protected] to give us your thoughts.

Again, we're so happy to be back having these conversations, and we're looking forward to bringing you another topic and episode very soon.

In this episode you'll hear:

• A look at what's happened since we took a break for the podcast, and how we're seeing the divide in our country growing larger [2:44]
• Why the upcoming United States midterms may just be the more important elections we've ever had in this country [4:59]
• Questions you can ask to start determining if character, and voting, still matters [6:19]
• How Stephanie is getting informed through international media [8:07]
• Our thoughts on the recent Dobb's decision on abortion in the United States and why it's something that we need to pay attention to [11:19]
• A personal experience that Stephanie had, and how the laws of today could have impacted her if they were in effect at the time [18:29]
• The ways that AJ is trying to find a more moderation position, and how he's keeping the messages talked about on this podcast in mind [20:59]
• The challenge we have for you, and the opportunity that exists for all of us at this point in time [26:11]
• A look at our first "Models of Respect" that we are now featuring as a segment of the podcast [30:07]

Links & Resources:

31: The CROWN Act: I Am More Than My Hair

BBC News & Al Jazeera

The Impact of Legalized Abortion on Crime (2001 Study)

Texas Woman Nearly Loses Her Life After Doctors Can't Legally Perform an Abortion: 'Their Hands Were Tied'

MacKenzie Scott's latest $84.5 million donation could transform Girl Scouts as you know them

Tracee Ellis Ross's Docuseries with Oprah Winfrey, The Hair Tales

John Legend's Powerful Op-Ed on Supporting Criminal Justice Reforms: 'The Future and Freedoms of Our Country Depend on Them'

It was late last summer when we decided to expand our Respect Circles conversations to the airways by starting this podcast. Since that time, we've had some incredible guests and have covered topics that are so meaningful. Today we thought it would be fun to reflect back on some of our most memorable episodes, the ones that really stood out to us, and share what we've learned from them and the actions we've taken as a result.

We want to share that we'll be taking a pause after this episode with the podcast, for at least the summer, as we consider what our future offerings may look like. We've gotten a lot of ideas based on your feedback for what's needed in the world today, and we want to make sure that we're taking time to really consider how to make the most meaningful impact that we possibly can.

We can't wait for the next chapter as we continue to move forward stepping into the space of making human connections on a different scale. We're sure that this will give us the opportunity to do this work in a way that will continue to resonate with the audience, but also feed our souls.

Stay tuned to our social media, Instagram and Facebook, and we'll keep you posted on future developments. We'd love to get your input on what you'd like to see us offer next, whether it's in the community or corporate space, and how you think we can make the biggest difference. You can go to https://www.respectcircles.com/voicemail/ to leave us a message and you can also reach us by email, [email protected] to give us your thoughts.

Thanks so much for your support and being a part of this amazing journey (so far!) and we can't wait to see what's next!

Today we are joined by a very special guest, Jodi O'Donnell-Ames, as we learn about her journey and the amazing work she is doing to make a difference in the world and the lives of others. Jodi is a speaker, coach, author, and founder of Hope Loves Company - a non-profit organization with the mission of supporting children and young adults who love someone with ALS.

Jodi's story of caring for her husband as he lived with, and eventually passed away from, ALS is a powerful one. In this episode, she helps us open up a dialogue on ALS, the experiences she had in caring for her husband, her own process of grief and healing, and the ways she now helps others who are dealing with difficult loss.

We also explore some of the challenges that people who have limited mobility face daily, and how we can all be more aware and advocate for increased accessibility for all. It's a big issue that most of us may not think about if it doesn't impact us directly, but we can all be part of the solution in minimizing and eliminating these barriers.

We truly appreciate Jodi for stepping into the circle and trusting us by sharing her story on the podcast. She is a beautiful human being on a powerful mission. We encourage you to check out Jodi's resources to learn more and to then take action to help (you can donate to Hope Loves Company by clicking here, or at the link in the show notes.) The beautiful thing about Respect Circles is we always learn something and can take action to make a difference.

You can also invite Jodi to speak to your group or organization through her website.

As always, we love to hear your feedback. If you have a question or topic that you'd like us to discuss in a future episode, please go to https://www.respectcircles.com/voicemail/ to leave us a message.

You can also reach us by email, [email protected], on social media at https://www.facebook.com/respectcircles and https://www.instagram.com/respectcircles/, or by visiting our website at www.respectcircles.com too. We look forward to hearing from you!

Thanks so much for listening. We'd love to have you subscribe to the podcast, leave us a rating and review, and share with your friends!

In this episode you'll hear:

• What ALS is and how Jodi came to learn about it in a very personal way [5:49]
• The first steps Jodi and her husband took after receiving the devastating diagnosis and the ways in which they got busy advocating [9:26]
• Where she got the tremendous will to fight and how she knew that she was born for the role of caregiving and helping others [13:29]
• What she did to use grief to propel her forward on her mission, and how a certain event shifted her entire perspective on her family's situation [18:26]
• Jodi's philosophy on caregiving and showing up to help someone in needed, even when you may not know the right way to do it [21:51]
• How she used love and memories to move forward and create Hope Loves Company [28:45]
• What we need to be aware of about accessibility issues and becoming an advocate for change in this area [32:36]
• The actions steps we can take to become a better ally for these causes today [39:35]

Links & Resources:

Jodi's Website, Instagram, Facebook & Twitter

Her Books, Someone I Love Has ALS: A Family Caregiver Guide & The Stars That Shine

Share the Care: How to Organize a Group to Care for Someone Who Is Seriously Ill by Cappy Capossela & Sheila Warnock

Hope Loves Company's Website, Instagram & Facebook

Hope Loves Company Documentary

Donate to Hope Loves Company

Register for Camp HLC 2022 & Apply for a Hug of Hope Care Package

​​CBC News Article, Here are the N.B. beaches that have accessibility features

​​36: Climbing Your Second Mountain: Creating Joy and Leaving a Legacy In the Second Half of Your Life

Does success breed happiness? And how do we live for a cause larger than ourselves, as we're often encouraged to do? Today we are diving into answering these questions and exploring the concept of preparing to find true joy in the second half of your life, or as has been referred to as your "second mountain". In this conversation, we talk about how natural it is to be longing for more at this point of our lives, and the importance of investing in relationships instead of accumulating more possessions and higher social status.

In today's episode, we explore what we can do to show up right now to live our values and experience life in a more meaningful way, for ourselves and others. Longing for more out of life is not uncommon and you're definitely not alone in that longing. Through our conversation, we hope to provoke your thinking about the life you want to create and the joy that is possible, and remind you that you can't leave it up to chance.

As always, we love to hear your feedback. If you have a question or topic that you'd like us to discuss in a future episode, please go to https://www.respectcircles.com/voicemail/ to leave us a message.

You can also reach us by email, [email protected], on social media at https://www.facebook.com/respectcircles and https://www.instagram.com/respectcircles/, or by visiting our website at www.respectcircles.com too. We look forward to hearing from you!

Thanks so much for listening. We'd love to have you subscribe to the podcast, leave us a rating and review, and share with your friends!

In this episode you'll hear:

• A look at what the "First Mountain" and "Second Mountain" of life is, and the critical lie that people are telling themselves about success and happiness [4:54]
• How we can begin to fix what has happened over the last few decades to the cultural and moral structure of our society [7:26]
• The unhealthy habits that AJ is shedding and the person that he is becoming as he approaches his second mountain [10:27]
• What Stephanie sees in the clients that she coaches who are in the second act of their lives [13:29]
• What surprises most people as they reach the peak of their first mountain and being the descent towards the next one [28:37]
• How Stephanie navigated the phase of her career when she recognized she had reached the summit of her first mountain [29:40]
• Some of the common pitfalls of always chasing "more" [37:10]
• What you can do to prepare to ascend your second mountain and how to develop a plan versus just letting it happen [38:45]

Links & Resources:

The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life by Arthur C. Brooks

Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernières

If you joined us last week, you'll know we started a great conversation with two experts in the field of equine therapy and training, Alia Shahi and Becky Nibecker. This week we continue the conversation, learn more about their experiences, and explore how working with horses can be a gift to students, teachers, leaders, and to all of us who embrace this experience.

Alia works for a non-profit organization called Reins of H.O.P.E. as an EAGALA certified Equine Specialist, assisting in providing equine assisted psychotherapy to at-risk youth and military personnel. She is currently pursuing licensure as a Marriage and Family Therapist, and recently graduated with a master's degree in counseling psychology. Horses have been Alia's passion since she was a child. They have taught her some of the greatest life lessons she has learned thus far: how to show up as a partner, that leadership has nothing to do with dominance, and the importance of present-centered connection. Today, the wisdom and knowledge they pass on to her continues to inform her as a single parent, an equine specialist, a mental health clinician, and as a human.

Becky was first introduced to Equine Assisted Learning (EAL) upon starting her 25th year as an educator. She was fascinated to learn that horses are motivated by pressure and learn by the release of that pressure. That year, as a middle school principal, her opening faculty meeting included a video of a horse at liberty with a human. She encouraged the faculty to dance with their students in this same manner; to see their presentation of the subject matter as the pressure, and to allow time at the end of each class period for reflection, the release that teaches. In a world that is full of information, deadlines and the need to prove and produce, this dance is often interrupted and we lose the ability to self-regulate and set healthy boundaries. Becky believes we need to create margins in our life to pause, reflect and release tension.

If you missed Part 1 last week, you can find it on your favorite podcast app, or at https://www.respectcircles.com/34-how-a-horse-can-improve-your-mental-health-part-1/.

This conversation really was an invitation for us to get out of our heads and comfort zones in order to try something new, and who would have imagined that we could discover so much about ourselves through horses? We've learned that horses have the intuition to teach us what we may not be able to see. If you are willing to step into the arena with these fascinating animals, you'll experience incredible growth.

As always, we love to hear your feedback. If you have a question or topic that you'd like us to discuss in a future episode, please go to https://www.respectcircles.com/voicemail/ to leave us a message.

You can also reach us by email, [email protected], on social media at https://www.facebook.com/respectcircles and https://www.instagram.com/respectcircles/, or by visiting our website at www.respectcircles.com too. We look forward to hearing from you!

Thanks so much for listening. We'd love to have you subscribe to the podcast, leave us a rating and review, and share with your friends!

In this episode you'll hear:

• The big realizations that Alia made about bringing equine therapy into the parenting arena [1:42]
• Becky's thoughts on the how work with horses could be applied as an educator of children [6:03]
• How she allowed the horse to be a powerful partner in overcoming internal chatter that she was having [8:02]
• Ways to provide safety and security of the horse, and why this is so important to do [10:13]
• What horses can teach us about all of our relationships [13:01]
• The feedback that these animals can provide us, and how the horses were able to help Becky share more about her own faith with others [15:26]
• A story that demonstrates how horse work can be applied to leadership development [17:55]
• What their organization is doing to give everyone greater access to their horses [23:49]
• The similarities that Becky sees between the work they do with horses and what we do here at Respect Circles [26:50]
• Our biggest takeaways from this conversation with Alia and Becky, and what we plan to do with this knew knowledge [31:02]

Links & Resources:

Reins of Hope Website, Instagram & Facebook

Alia's Thesis, Parenting Through Horsemanship: A Relationship-Based Approach to Children

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1X8leBjvGeQYdYDyFp7Sm1PhKU4cJotqv/view?usp=sharing

NBC News Article, Black horse trainers offer horseback riding as therapy BBC News Article, The black cowboys of Chicago's South Side

Time Magazine, The True Story of the Black Cowboys of Philadelphia Depicted in Concrete Cowboy

34: How A Horse Can Improve Your Mental Health (Part 1)

33: The Path to Stronger Relationships - Getting Clear on Your Emotions

32: Wholeheartedness - Living Life From a Place of Courage

20: How to Become an Emotionally Intelligent Leader 7: Becoming A Deliberate Listener

If you've ever felt the need to improve your physical or mental health, or you're looking for a personal or professional development opportunity, we bet you've never thought of looking for help in a horse barn! Yet, the growing field of equine therapy is showing us that spending time with animals can be extremely beneficial to our well-being. In the first part of this special 2-part series, we welcome our expert guests, Alia Shahi and Becky Nibecker, as they each share the experiences and wisdom that they've gained from their fascinating work with horses.

Alia works for a non-profit organization called Reins of H.O.P.E. as an EAGALA certified Equine Specialist, assisting in providing equine assisted psychotherapy to at-risk youth and military personnel. She is currently pursuing licensure as a Marriage and Family Therapist, and recently graduated with a master's degree in counseling psychology. Horses have been Alia's passion since she was a child. They have taught her some of the greatest life lessons she has learned thus far: how to show up as a partner, that leadership has nothing to do with dominance, and the importance of present-centered connection. Today, the wisdom and knowledge they pass on to her continues to inform her as a single parent, an equine specialist, a mental health clinician, and as a human.

Becky Nibecker was first introduced to Equine Assisted Learning (EAL) upon starting her 25th year as an educator. She was fascinated to learn that horses are motivated by pressure and learn by the release of that pressure. That year, as a middle school principal, her opening faculty meeting included a video of a horse at liberty with a human. She encouraged the faculty to dance with their students in this same manner; to see their presentation of the subject matter as the pressure, and to allow time at the end of each class period for reflection, the release that teaches. In a world that is full of information, deadlines and the need to prove and produce, this dance is often interrupted and we lose the ability to self-regulate and set healthy boundaries. Becky believes we need to create margins in our life to pause, reflect and release tension.

There is such a richness in the messages that both Alia and Becky share in this conversation about their work, and we appreciate their openness to be vulnerable and transparent as they each speak their truth. We hope that you will return next week for Part 2, as they reveal more about the incredible powers that horses possess and the transformations that they have experienced themselves and witnessed in the clients that they serve.

As always, we love to hear your feedback. If you have a question or topic that you'd like us to discuss in a future episode, please go to https://www.respectcircles.com/voicemail/ to leave us a message.

You can also reach us by email, [email protected], on social media at https://www.facebook.com/respectcircles and https://www.instagram.com/respectcircles/, or by visiting our website at www.respectcircles.com too. We look forward to hearing from you!

Thanks so much for listening. We'd love to have you subscribe to the podcast, leave us a rating and review, and share with your friends!

In this episode you'll hear:

• What equine-assisted psychotherapy and learning is all about, and what led them to this field of work [7:15]
• The biggest impact that the horses have had on Becky [8:20]
• Why there is power in pausing to reflect, both for children and adults [9:30]
• Why the work that she does means so much to Alia [12:12]
• The story of the horse, Tank, that changed everything for her [17:02]
• What Becky thinks makes the connection between horses and humans so special [21:13]
• How horses have the ability to help anyone who is willing to step into that world find their authentic self [24:00]

Links & Resources:

Reins of Hope Website, Instagram & Facebook

Alia's Thesis, Parenting Through Horsemanship: A Relationship-Based Approach to Children

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1X8leBjvGeQYdYDyFp7Sm1PhKU4cJotqv/view?usp=sharing

NBC News Article, Black horse trainers offer horseback riding as therapy

BBC News Article, The black cowboys of Chicago's South Side

Time Magazine, The True Story of the Black Cowboys of Philadelphia Depicted in Concrete Cowboy

33: The Path to Stronger Relationships - Getting Clear on Your Emotions

32: Wholeheartedness - Living Life From a Place of Courage

Today we're going deeper around emotions and discuss the importance (in every relationship) of clearly naming and communicating what you're feeling. It's especially important when things feel uncertain or like they're "too much", as can often be the case in the times we find ourselves in right now.

We're excited to practice more of Brené's teachings, and we want to hear how you use them as well to reach a better version of yourself!

As always, we love to hear your feedback. If you have a question or topic that you'd like us to discuss in a future episode, please go to https://www.respectcircles.com/voicemail/ to leave us a message.

You can also reach us by email, [email protected], on social media at https://www.facebook.com/respectcircles and https://www.instagram.com/respectcircles/, or by visiting our website at www.respectcircles.com too. We look forward to hearing from you!

Thanks so much for listening. We'd love to have you subscribe to the podcast, leave us a rating and review, and share with your friends!

In this episode you'll hear:

• How we are emotional beings that have never been trained how to name, manage, or label our emotions [3:56]
• Why our connections with others are only as deep as the connections we have with ourselves [8:01]
• Understanding the concept that above all, we are emotional beings that think [15:03]
• Why we feel that overall our communications are falling flat [16:23]
• What the emotion of anguish is about, and why it's so powerful [20:11]
• How talking about Brene's series is a great way to start expressing your emotions and strengthening your connections with others [24:58]
• The distinctions between worry and anxiety and being stressed and overwhelmed [27:32]
• The dangers in mislabeling our emotions and forcing ourselves into an emotion by doing this [30:59]
• A few healthy things you can do now to manage your emotions when things become uncertain [32:39]