Some people are able to rely on their parents for some sort of loyalty or support especially during challenging times?  My friend never had in her life. 

Her spouse, has been going through cancer treatments for a while, has new family dynamic that is starting to take a toll on her.  Meeting their younger children’s needs, her spouse’s needs and most of all her own needs to be able to show up as the best version of herself.

In the perfect world, the parents that put everything on the side to be there for their children especially during  childhood…

However, in the real world, things are not always like that. Some parents will literally put their lives on the back burner, to focus on their children’s needs.

Others will juggle their own lives, together with their children’s lives. While others,  for whatever reasons they have, may struggle or fail to meet their children’s needs.

Accepting our parents the way they are, instead of focusing on what we would like them to be, saves us emotional pain.

This is hard, it requires settling for what is in front of us, and we may not even what that. But to be honest, that is the hand of cards we were dealt.
 
 The only thing you can control is your own thoughts & emotions.

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We all must walk our own journey, we can walk side by side, 

but you cannot walk for me, and I cannot walk for you. 

 It is natural to be upset when your grown children do not step in to help. 

When we expect things from other people, we judge others. 

• When we let go of expectations;
•  We  concentrate on what we CAN do; 
• Accept people for who they are; 
• Have deeper relationships. 

In the book 7 habits of Highly Effective People the author illustrates a mental to help us focus on what is actually important in our lives. 

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Caring for someone out of obligation, guilt and not love is a recipe for resentment.  Doing everything yourself or most of the things your self, can complicate the situation. 

You may become resentful towards other family members and other people that you think should be helping you out. 

You may slowly become resentful when your spouse behaves in ways that make providing care more challenging. The thought that your spouse isn’t taking the responsibility for improving his health, may lead to resentment. 

What are some of the steps that you can take to prevent resentment?

How do you deal with resentment?

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 In this episode we talk about finding a balance in your relationship between being a caregiver and a spouse. You need to find room for your relationship. 

A colon cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatments and side effects can rock the strongest of marriages. Some couples become closer and their marriages come out stronger on the other end, while other families can be pulled apart, leading to the “caregiver and patient” relationship. Finding that balance is important. 

Find out how to walk that tight rope between spouse and caregiver, to avoid creating a caregiver & patient relationship

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 Overnight, you were thrown into the caregiving role, and it has become a huge part of your life and your identity. It is your primary focus and a vast majority of your time is spent coordinating care, planning, shopping etc. 

Caring for a loved one can bring joy and can be  incredibly satisfying, meaningful and joyful. At the same time, being a primary caregiver to your spouse can be incredibly hard and demanding. 

 Studies show that caregivers go on to develop other ailments like compromised immunity, depression, insomnia, weight, gain, other mental and physical diseases. 

Burnout can be defined as a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion, that may arise when caregivers do not get the help they need emotionally, physically and financially. 

What are the signs of burnout & how can you prevent burnout?

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 In this episode we talk about the patient who goes to palliative care at the point of diagnosis.

 What does palliative care mean?

 Is the cancer incurable ?

What is the goal of treatment?

Does this mean death?

Can people live for years under palliative care ?

How is the treatment  driven ?

Who makes up the palliative care team?  

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My husband is my best friend, he was recently diagnosed with colon cancer after a CT scan done because of unexplained stomach pains.

The whole family is scared, the children are upset. Can you tell me more about the process? Why can’t he just start chemotherapy right away?

I feel like he is losing precious time by waiting. The hospital said they have delays because of backlog of cases due to COVID-19. He is scheduled for a colonoscopy in 2 weeks time.

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In today’s episode we talk about the importance of upping calorie intake during colon cancer treatments. Why your spouse’s body needs to be in top shape before starting treatments. 

 Why being underweight or having poor nutritional status when going through cancer treatment exposes your spouse to a lot of problems. 

This episode covers solutions to help improve your spouse’s appetite, calorie intake.

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  In today’s episode we are looking at the topic of pain Cancer patients can deal with. It is important to be pro-active when it comes to pain. Not every Colon Cancer Patient will have pain. 

There are different reasons Colon Cancer Patients might be experiencing pain. 

• Surgery 
• Post Chemo Pain 
• Post radiation pain 
• Tumor Growth 
• Chronic pain 
• Tense muscles 

 Pain Management has come a long way and is much better now than it was in the 80s 90s or early 2000s.  

It is important that medication be used the way it is intended, so be sure you know and follow the instructions. 

We also look at opioids. What they work for and what they do not work for. How to know if you or your loved one is becoming dependent. 

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 When you have a sick spouse, and you care for them you want what is best for them. In the pursuit of getting them what is best the lines between caring and care taking can become blurry. You can find yourself in a controlling atmosphere. 

Caring allows others to figure out things for themselves. 

Caring respects boundaries. 

Caring does not judge the choices of others. 

You need to get your thoughts in order. Know the difference between thoughts and facts. Write down your thoughts to find patters. 

Write these things out 

·        Things I can do today 

·        Things I need help with 

·        Things that can wait 

·        Things I cannot do any about 

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