Returning Home: The Podcast

The insistent pressure of settling down and starting a family can be crippling to many of us. People, especially women, are often expected to become parents and are criticized when they choose not to be. But raising kids takes a lot of responsibility, time, energy, effort — and not everyone is ready to commit to the sacrifices that parenthood demands.

In the eighth episode of Returning Home, Elise shares the reasons behind her decision to remain childless. Here, she highlights the importance of "freedom" and "living life on her own terms." She hopes her journey will help you reflect on your priorities in life and whether having children is something you truly want – and that there's nothing wrong if you don't.

If you want to learn more about the decision of being child-free, this episode is for you!

1. Discover what it means to be childless by choice.
2. Find out the possible reasons — and Elise's reasons — for choosing to be childless.
3. Reflect on your perspectives and priorities on becoming a parent.

• Slow Down To Speed Up: Visualization Masterclass
• Sign up for Elise's Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey!
• Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya

• Currently, Elise feels good about her decision of being childless.
• Change is constant; she might change her mind in the future but doesn't see herself having kids right now
• Growing up, she used to think about having kids.
• Becoming a parent and starting a family someday are expected from almost everyone.

• Raising kids takes a lot of responsibility, and not everyone is ready for them.
• Some people might just not want to have children.
• You should live life on your own terms.
• Capitalism is another reason people decide not to have kids since living in a capitalist society is both time and energy-consuming.

Elise: "Everybody's on their last limb on their last thread on their last nerve, right? Like it's just this constant grind… And it makes me think of trauma. Because trauma is too much too fast too soon. And it seems like there's this whole hustle of raising kids."

• The world we currently live in and its cultural and social expectations influenced Elise's decision to be childless.

• Elise thinks having kids right now will impede her journey of trauma healing and set her back to a place of scarcity.
• The inflexibility of time due to constant work may activate trauma and lead to burnout.
• Trauma can be passed on through biological tissues, resulting in generational trauma.

• Climate change, population increase, and industrialization are detrimental to our planet and have become a problem for future generations.

• Elise worries about her kids' safety and quality of life in such a damaged world if she chooses to have children.

• She wants to enjoy her time and not deal with the anxieties that having a child entails.

• Some people are childless by choice because they want to experience certain things in life that parenting would take away from them.

• Most people adore cute babies without realizing that they will grow up to develop their own personalities, behavior, and personal issues.
• Elise believes that dealing with children would strip away most of her freedom.
• Essentially, she enjoys her alone time and refuses the idea of children trespassing into her space.
• You can choose the battles you want to fight and make empowered decisions in your life.

• Her decision could change, but choosing to be childless feels true to her.
• It's important for Elise to prioritize herself, her health, and other aspects of her life — she is her priority right now.
• She still struggles with putting herself first sometimes.
• For a long time, Elise didn't put herself first, which made her unhappy.

Elise: "For me, what it means to be childless by choice is to put myself first, all the time, every single day, no matter what because I didn't do that for a really, really long time. And it made me extremely unhappy."

• Having kids will probably make her feel resentful.
• While exploring other possibilities, she is grateful that her life unfolds in such a way that led her to this perspective.
• Your life is unfolding the way it's meant to unfold.

Elise: "If you're listening to this, your life is unfolding how it's meant to unfold. And the desires that you have are meant to be there, and the type of life you want to have is possible for you. And so you get to make these decisions from an empowered and informed place."

• Life doesn't come with rules, so don't let anybody tell you what to do.
• If you want to know more about being childless by choice, search relevant hashtags on Instagram and look for podcasts.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please make sure to subscribe and share it!

Leave an episode review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning in to this episode, don't forget to leave us a review. You can also share what you've learned today with your friends to help them embody their true, authentic selves. Anything is possible when you return home to yourself.

Have any questions or lightbulb moments? I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to hit me up on Instagram or send an email at [email protected].

Thank you so much for listening! For more episode updates, visit my website.

Everyone has a child within them. It represents the innocence, awe, and joy reminiscent of our youth. However, our inner child also carries the accumulated baggage of hurt, trauma, and fears from our early years.

As we grow into adults, we carry this inner child with us, and from time to time, it resurfaces to remind us of our childhood scars. Some choose to look the other way and continue living their lives. While this coping mechanism might work for a while, it may lead to destructive habits. Indeed, it's uncomfortable to deal with childhood trauma, but you can address this by practicing inner child healing.

In this episode, Elise talks about mending the emotional scars left from our childhood through inner child work. She also shares ways to overcome trauma and negative self-talk and explains why it's crucial to face our fears. Lastly, Elise imparts how we can truthfully connect with our mind and body.

If you're interested in starting your journey to inner child healing and finding your truth, stay tuned to this episode!

1. Uncover the meaning of inner child healing.
2. Discover the modalities to healing your inner child.
3. Learn the importance of mind-body connection in mending your emotional scars.

• The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
• Listen to previous episodes of Returning Home:
• • Episode 1 | Returning Home to Yourself From Childhood Trauma
  • Episode 6 | Uncovering the Hidden Strength of Self Compassion
• Slow Down To Speed Up: Visualization Masterclass
• Sign up for Elise's Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey!
• Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya

• Inner child healing is about loving that part of yourself who felt alienated.

• It addresses the emotional wounds attached to your early years.

• When your inner child is wounded, it can reflect on your current behavior.

• People who experienced childhood abuse could seek refuge in inner child work.

• Reflect on who you are beneath your pain.

• Psychological scarring could happen at birth or be inherited from previous generations.

• Everyone has an innate personality who wants to give and experience love.

• Infants have an unobstructed relationship with their bodies.

• No one needs to be ashamed of their body.

• We must unlearn the maladaptive ways ingrained in us.

• It's not selfish to love yourself.

Elise: "I believe that when each person on this planet is appropriately loved and resourced, then we can stop hurting ourselves and each other and get to living the life we're meant to live."

• It's your birthright to feel happiness and contentment.

• The ripples of self-love can reach your community.

• Inner child healing starts with your body.

• Your body contains your entire existence and memories.

• Everything you've been through was first experienced by your body.

• Reflect on your thoughts and understand the monologue happening in your mind.

• The exiled child learns to hide their emotions after constant rejection.

• The proactive protector prevents the exiled child from flooding our feelings. It often shames us for showing emotions.

• When the proactive protector fails, the reactive protector comes. They use extreme measures to go back to equilibrium.

• Your true self is what you want to uncover; it's connected to your higher qualities.

Elise: "Our psyche is not meant to be fragmented. We're meant to have all of these different experiences and not have one be judged as disgusting or unacceptable. All parts need to be able to be welcomed and be here in order to have a balanced and blended life."

• EMDR is a form of therapy that uses bilateral stimulation. Listen to the full episode to know more about how it's done!

• The logical brain takes time to process trauma.

• EMDR helps with inner child healing by analyzing and repairing the less accessible parts of the nervous system.

• Reclaiming your traumatic past raises your level of consciousness.
• Face your fears to find your truth.

Elise: "You don't have to live without shining a light on the event that took your power from you. When fear is exposed, it loses its grip."

• Emotional scars lose their power over you when you confront them.

• Inner child work reclaims our worth and place in the world.

• Inner child wounding happens when others don't recognize our feelings.

• Permit yourself to connect with your mind, body, and spirit.
• Healing from within takes dedication and commitment; it's not an overnight process.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please make sure to subscribe and share it!

Leave an episode review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning in to this episode, don't forget to leave us a review. You can also share what you've learned today with your friends to help them embody their true, authentic selves. Anything is possible when you return home to yourself.

Have any questions or lightbulb moments? I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to hit me up on Instagram or send an email at [email protected].

Thank you so much for listening! For more episode updates, visit my website.

Falling into the trap of self-criticism becomes our usual pattern when setbacks occur. It confines us in this dark pit within ourselves that surrounds us with harsh judgments whenever we encounter failures. Be that as it may, we are not alone. Everyone is bound to commit mistakes. Even the greatest personalities have done something they're not proud of. To embrace our flaws, we need to practice self-compassion and understand that we are still a work in progress.

In this episode, Elise talks about mindful self-compassion and its relevance to our daily journey of finding ourselves. She also discusses how the practice is not about self-indulgence nor a form of self-pity. Finally, she shares how we can learn self-compassion through the different resources available today.

If you want to harness the power of self-compassion, this episode is for you!

1. Understand the meaning of self-compassion
2. Learn how to practice self-compassion daily
3. Discover the connection between self-compassion and happiness

• Get a copy of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer
• The previous episode of Elise's podcast:
• • Episode 4 | 8 Healing Resources to Return Home to Yourself
• Read The Feeling Wheel by Gloria Willcox
• Check out Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson
• Grab a copy of For Your Own Good by Alice Miller
• Try the Insight Timer
• Sign up for Elise's Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey!
• Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya
• Sign-up here for Community Drop-In Group Sessions!
• Enroll here for the self-led six module Visualization course!

• There is a lot of hatred and bigotry in the world. However, our problems would be lessened if we start practicing self-compassion.
• Self-compassion allows us to release ourselves from self-hatred and judgments.
• We don't have to pressure ourselves to be better at everything.

• Self-compassion has three pillars: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
• We have the tendency to fall into self-criticism whenever we talk about ourselves.
• Mindfulness brings us to the present. It helps us examine our thoughts and how it affects our body.
• Self-kindness means building up ourselves amid difficult times. We know the best way to help ourselves.

Elise: "[We] don't have to abandon ourselves or look outside of ourselves every time something goes wrong. We can start first to access this well that's within us that will never run dry."

• Most people assume that self-compassion is a means for self-pity or boosting ego. On the contrary, it is actually the practice of carving space to find and be your true self.
• Let yourself experience your emotions and understand how you respond to the present situation.
• We must not only embody our positive emotions but also accept the negative ones too.

• Self-compassion is not about self-esteem. It's about practicing kindness towards ourselves and accepting our reality.
• Showing kindness to yourself means checking your emotional and physical state.
• Hatred stems from our malnourished souls trying to find ways to boost their fragile self-esteem.

• Mindful self-compassion helps you find your center and determine what you should prioritize. Listen to the full episode to know how self-compassion helped Elise's life.

Elise: "Just because people expect you to do things a certain way doesn't mean that that's how you have to do things. Just because you're juggling a lot of things in your life doesn't mean that you have to keep doing that."

• Practicing self-compassion helps you accept imperfect situations and manage your expectations.

• Learn to appreciate the good and bad things in life.
• Be grateful for being your authentic self.
• Celebrate your uniqueness.

• Finding yourself is a lifelong practice.
• Choosing to embark on this journey means showing up every day for yourself even if it's difficult.
• How we perceive life is all in our heads. We can control how we think and feel about a situation.

• Loving-kindness meditation is about deserving peace, happiness, and freedom.
• It's the practice of extending the ripples of love from yourself to others.
• Elise shared that she gets easily angered before. Loving-kindness meditation allowed her to extend her compassion to everyone — even to those who are difficult to empathize with.

• Everyone deserves to be happy.
• Happy people don't inflict pain on others. Tune in to the entire episode to hear about Elise's examples of personalities with unhappy lives and how it affected them.
• Self-compassion can save humanity from suffering.

• There is nothing wrong with slowing down and giving yourself a break.
• Give yourself the love and care you deserve.

• Once we extend our loving-kindness to everyone—even to those we find detestable—we could make the world a better place.
• Loving yourself becomes easier once you start extending love and kindness to other people.

Elise: "We have to be in this cycle of giving and receiving to be in cooperation with other people [and] to live on this planet."

• Opening ourselves to emotions also means inviting feelings we want to avoid.
• We can only meet people as deeply as we have met ourselves.

• Online and personal classes are available if you're interested to learn about mindful self-compassion.
• It's also possible to do this practice on your own by buying workbooks related to it.
• There are also journal prompts that help in gaining insights on self-compassion.
• Applications are also available for meditation practices.

• Elise recognizes some parts of the podcast might have come off as offended or triggered.
• Knowing her blind spots is a teaching and learning moment for her.
• She initially didn't want to upload this episode. However, she applied self-compassion in the situation by analyzing her emotions and talking to people she trusts.
• We must accept that messing up at some point is normal.
• Elise wants to be an example in living one's authentic truth and encourages people to do the same.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please make sure to subscribe and share it!

Leave an episode review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning in to this episode, don't forget to leave us a review. You can also share what you've learned today with your friends to help them embody their true, authentic selves. Anything is possible when you return home to yourself.

Have any questions or lightbulb moments? I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to hit me up on Instagram or send an email at [email protected].

Thank you so much for listening! For more episode updates, visit my website.

Have you ever experienced moments in your life where you feel like you've lost control, as if it's all messed up, and there's no way for you to get back on track? In moments like these, some people tend to blame or hold it against others. However, you need to take responsibility for yourself so that you can live the life you desire on your terms.

In this episode of Returning Home: The Podcast, you will learn to understand the importance of trusting yourself and taking responsibility for your life and everything in between. If you're asking why you're stuck in certain circumstances or why you're feeling the way that you are, Elise will take you on a journey of learning the art of choosing for yourself.

Tune in to the episode and learn how you can take responsibility for your life and live in alignment,

1. Understand what it means to take responsibility for your life.
2. Discover the impact of trusting your intuition.
3. Learn how trusting and taking responsibility can turn into giving.

• Returning Home: The Podcast Ep. 4 - Harness the Power of Your Mind: How to Visualize Success
• Sign up for Elise's Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey!
• Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya

• Taking responsibility is not about taking control of every aspect of your life.
• Instead, you are to take responsibility for what you make things mean in your life.
• Learning to trust yourself means giving yourself permission to think and listen to yourself.
• Get rooted for you to blossom.

• Decide to love the person you see in the mirror.
• Choosing to love the version of yourself allows you to give that same love to others.

Elise: "We can only give from a place of overflowing."

• You get to decide the experiences and opportunities that you need to have to live the best life possible and, in turn, expand and invite this positivity to others.

• Unlearn the things you think you know and relearn them, such as trusting.
• It's a cycle of repetition, consistency, and faith.
• It's easy to get discouraged, but remember that showing up and trying is already a commitment.
• It takes practice, patience, and persistence.

• You can decide to trust and take responsibility in just a second, but the process will take time.
• The day you plant your seed is not the same day you eat the fruit that it bears.

Elise: "Choosing to take the journey is the destination."

• When you make the choice to trust yourself or take responsibility, then you're already at your destination.
• It's the small decisions you make every day that determine whether you are taking responsibility.

• It's often other people who first see the potential you hold.
• It's hard to see your potential when it's right up in your face and you're in your own head.

• When you don't trust yourself enough to do it yet, search for people who are already doing it.
• However, discovering that someone is already doing the thing that you want to do doesn't mean you can't do it anymore.

• Do what you aim to do if it's been in your heart and mind for the longest time.
• You are responsible for the space you take up in this world.

Elise: "By you denying yourself that, [...] it's taking away from the fullness that this world could have with your contribution. Your contribution is needed."

• Set aside some alone time for yourself.
• Ask yourself, "What do I feel?" "Where do I see myself in 50 years?"
• Getting clear on what's going on in your mind is only yours to do.

• People often fear commitment because they don't want to fail.
• Not taking the chance also means failing, so why not commit to doing it anyway?
• It doesn't matter where you are in life right now; you can always decide to commit. It's never too late to show up for yourself.
• Starting and then falling doesn't mean failing.
• The permission you're waiting for comes from you.

• You are responsible for your own happiness.
• The happiness that you form within yourself transforms into a renewable source that others can receive.
• The love that you give yourself can resonate with the people you encounter and can go back to you.

If you did, do subscribe and share this with your friends more for more episodes like this!

Let me know what you think of this episode and share it. You are not alone and I will be here to remind you of that. I hope that you learned something new today about yourself and share them with a friend or two.

If you have any questions, talk to me! You can email me through [email protected] or you can send me a DM on my Instagram page.

Thank you for taking your time to listen to today's podcast! Stay updated by checking out my website.

If you're suffering from anxiety, you know well how it can severely impact your sense of self and security. Fears and worries hinder us from becoming the self that we want to be. But there is a way to take those anxieties and turn them into positive thoughts and concrete plans. If you learn how to visualize the future, you can live in your zone of genius to your fullest expression.

In the fourth episode of Returning Home, Elise guides you through a visualization practice that you can use to ease your anxieties and reconnect with feelings of hope. Through this, you'll be able to meet with your future self and establish your goals. With this episode, Elise Kindya helps you regain faith in yourself, your capabilities, and your impact on the world.

If you want to learn more about how to visualize, this episode is for you!

1. Learn how to visualize and the various resources that you can add to your healing toolkit.
2. Connect with your future self.
3. Rediscover your goals and capabilities.

• Slow Down To Speed Up: Visualization Masterclass
• Sign up for Elise's Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey!
• Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya

• Learning how to visualize helps improve the outcomes we get in our lives.
• If you want new results, you have to take a new way to get there and be excited about the future rather than worrying.
• Our minds are powerful; visualization helps us harness that power to our advantage.
• Lastly, visualization will ease anxieties, become more excited and hopeful, and have faith in yourself that things will work out for you.

• This episode is one of many that contains an actual practice to receive direct guidance.
• Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while participating in this visualization.
• It's best to perform visualization techniques while relaxed, so refrain from doing or planning anything else.

• Visualization helps you become familiar with your feelings as you take aligned action.
• Your brain cannot tell the difference between doing something in reality or imagining it; thus, thinking about something puts you through that experience.
• We can experience anxiety when thinking about things that may or may not happen, but we can also use our imagination to feel excitement and satisfaction.

• Set aside an appropriate amount of time.
• You'll perform a body scan to relax you before you lie down and begin the visualization.
• Being relaxed allows you to tap into the brain waves that will help you benefit from this practice and absorb whatever you're going to absorb.
• Prepare a journal and a writing utensil for reflection at the end of the practice.
• Journaling helps ground ourselves after doing something intangible, such as meditative sessions like visualization.
• Think about an intention or goal that you want to visualize yourself achieving.

• Make yourself comfortable in a position, whether lying down or sitting up, that will hold you throughout the entire practice.
• Release any "shoulds" for now. During this exercise, you'll receive anything you're meant to receive.
• There's no right or wrong way to do this practice; the path of learning how to visualize is individual to each person.
• Open yourself up to learn and absorb anything that's meant for you.
• Call on any of your spirit guides, feel that you're divinely guided, protected, and loved.

• Breathe in and out. You may close your eyes at this time.
• Breathe in for five seconds, filling your belly with air.
• Hold at the top for three seconds, then breathe out for seven seconds. Imagine feeling your belly button touch your spine.
• Repeat this breathing practice five times in a row.

• Imagine a brilliant, bright, healing light forming above your head.
• Then, imagine this light reaching your toes and absorbing any tension in your body. Feel your anxieties releasing through your breath or melting into the earth.
• The light enters your toes, working its way up your feet towards your head.
• Allow your body to become heavy, feeling its weight supported by the surface you're on and every last tension dissipating.
• As you're ready, return your breathing to a regular rate; no need to strain.

• Once fully relaxed, think clearly about the intention that you set.
• Find the words for it in your mind's eye, imagining the words appearing before you.
• Create a clear intention. Then, get in touch with your future self or the version of you that has already achieved this goal.
• Get in touch with the emotions of your future self, visualizing the words and feeling the bodily sensations.

• See yourself face-to-face with your future self and speak to them.
• Ask them what steps you need to take to become them in the future, and listen intently to what your future self has to say.
• Focus on the three steps that your future self tells you to do to become them.
• Think about the first thing you need to become that future version of yourself by thinking about the words for it.

• When you've completed the visualization of your future self, ask: what's the first step you need to take to become your best future self?
• Create a step one with the words you thought about in your journal. See them in your mind's eye.
• Once you're clear about the first step, find out the actions you need to take by understanding the sensations of the experience.
• Walk into your mind's eye and see yourself achieving the first step.
• When you've seen yourself achieve it, notice how your mind and body are feeling.

• Once you've seen yourself achieve the first step, get in touch with your future self again. What is the second step?
• See the words in your mind's eye and imagine yourself writing them down in your journal.
• Walk yourself mentally through the motions of the second step, getting clear on the sensations and feelings of the experience.
• What do you feel as you achieve the second step?
• Get clear on the feeling words and bodily sensations, tracing these feelings to the area on your body where you feel them.

• Connect with your future self a third time. What is the third step?
• Walk yourself through the third step, finding the words and writing them down.
• Then, bring yourself through the motions, feelings, and sensations that come with the experience.
• What are your feelings after achieving the third step?

• After achieving the steps and talking to your future self, rest in gratitude.
• Know that you have the answers in you.
• Who you are today is a result of your past actions to bring you to this very moment.
• By learning how to visualize, understand this: who you become in the future starts today.

• You have the potential and capability.

Elise: "... you have all of the potential, all of the capability and if it feels that there's something missing, that you need a resource or some help, know that you have that knowledge now and you can take the steps to gaining that resource gaining that knowledge."

• If you feel something is missing, understand that you now have that knowledge, or that you're capable of gaining that resource.
• When thinking about goals, it's also vital to think about the resources you have.
• Who's present in your life that you can ask for help? What can you ask them for help, and what can they offer? What sort of experiences do you need to achieve your goals?

• It's not selfish to want to live your best self because it means other people can also live to their fullest expression.
• People each have their own zone of genius.

Elise: "You have your zone of genius; they have their zone of genius. You can ask them for help in a way that helps them stay in their zone of genius while you stay in your zone of genius."

• Imagine how achieving your future goal impacts the people in your life.
• See your body, mind, and soul being a cause for good. Notice all the benefits that your best self has in the world.

• Achieving your goal isn't just for you but also for the people around you.

Elise: "Your ripple effect is felt in your orb, in your world, in your circle of influence. And it matters."

• If there are other steps you need to take to achieve your goal, take some time after the visualization to write them down and plan out how to achieve them.
• Rest in gratitude, picturing your future self and meeting them in an embrace.
• Feel these two versions of yourself merging, bringing your future self into your current self, and notice the feelings and absorb them.

• As you're ready, bring yourself back with small movements in your fingers and toes.
• You may also roll your wrists and ankles or stretch your body.
• In your own time, come back fully alert and awake, deepening your breaths. If your eyes are closed, blink them open.
• Grab your journal and write down everything you visualized.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please make sure to subscribe and share it!

Leave an episode review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning in to this episode, don't forget to leave us a review. You can also share what you've learned today with your friends to help them embody their true, authentic selves. Anything is possible when you return home to yourself.

Have any questions or lightbulb moments? I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to hit me up on Instagram or send an email at [email protected].

Thank you so much for listening! For more episode updates, visit my website.

It's very easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life. Relationships, work, personal problems — life can throw us off balance and knock us out of alignment with ourselves. However, with the right healing resources, you can return home to yourself.

In the third episode of Returning Home, Elise addresses the different ways you can heal yourself through body, mind, community, and spirit. She shares eight healing resources that she has used to better herself. Some of them are personal actions you can do on your own, while other methods need you to be with others. Specific tools work better for some people than others, so it's best to find the correct method for you.

If you want to learn more about healing resources that you can use to improve and transform yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually, this episode is for you!

1. Find out the many ways you can improve yourself through body, mind, community and spirit.
2. Discover eight healing resources that can assist you in your journey of self-discovery and improvement.
3. Learn more about Elise's drop-in group sessions.

• The previous episode of Elise's podcast:
• • Episode 1 | Returning Home To Yourself From Childhood Trauma
  • Episode 2 | How Sobriety Changed My Life
• The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
• Hardwiring Happiness by Dr. Rick Hanson
• The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer
• Adverse Childhood Experiences PDF
• Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Questionnaire
• Learn about self-healing with Dr. Nicole LePera on Instagram: @the.holistic.psychologist
• How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across A Lifetime by Nadine Burke Harris
• Sign up for Elise's Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey!
• Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya

• You are the first and best of your healing resources. Getting to know yourself is the first step toward returning home to yourself.
• When you know yourself, you know what works best for you.
• Sometimes you'd feel that you might want to work with your weakness. However, you could feel at ease with your current progress.
• What works for you doesn't necessarily work for others.

Elise: "It's about really like getting honest with, 'Am I at my best right now or not? Could I feel better? What are the things I've been through? What is it that I need to address at this moment?'"

• No one goes through life alone. New perspectives can help you detect weaknesses that you're unaware of.
• One benefit of therapy sessions is freedom. You can express your authentic feelings and worries without fear of judgment.
• Talking to a coach or therapist propels you towards a higher goal from what you've set for yourself.
• It helps to be open about talking about your problems. Having someone help you process your concerns and how you feel can make it easier to resolve them.
• If you need help, take advantage of any healing resources you can access. Get help where you can.

• Initially, Elise was averse to spiritual practices because she used to equate them with traditional religion. However, connecting with her spirituality opened up her life.
• Listen to the podcast to learn how Elise taps into her spirituality by observing the falling leaves during the fall season.
• Spirituality meditations maximize her different senses and emotions in understanding herself and the others.
• Meditation can be secular; it doesn't require any spiritual component. We are all spirits living the human experience.

Elise: "It's something that I recommend to all of my clients is to have this kind of moment with yourself throughout the day, whenever that is."

• The basis of our security is by treating our bodies well. The key to this is by being kind to your body, whether by pampering yourself or taking care of your basic needs.
• Emotional healing begins after you address your basic needs.
• Sitting at a dry sauna is Elise's remedy in opening up her body to spirituality.
• Our bodies consist of beautiful, powerful, and complex organs.

Elise: "Your body is the vessel that carries you through life."

• Elise recommends that cold showers are beneficial for the body's nervous system.

• Elise is constantly caught up in her head, especially when she reads a book.
• Journaling supports all other practices and aspects of her life. She does this by recording every detail of the instance she involves herself in.
• As a social worker, Elise values the record-keeping element of journaling.
• Recording your actions allows you to observe the patterns, thoughts, and inner workings of your being.
• In the future, you may revisit your writings to track your previous progress, celebrations, and challenges. Altogether, it compiles a set of evidence of why you need to support yourself.

• Elise recommends the Mindful Self Compassion Workbook to her clients because it introduces relatable and practical concepts of intuition and spirituality.
• She emphasizes how we are too quick to be kind to others while criticizing ourselves internally for minor inconveniences.
• Elise believes that the workbook could resolve worldly violence if everyone had a copy. Kinder interaction is a stepping stone towards peace.
• People's treatment of others is a reflection of what goes on in their heads.
• The workbook offers many opportunities for you to practice and contemplate your intuitive learnings.

• The study sums up a person's exposure to neglect and abuse during childhood and how it shapes their future actions.
• A person's trauma response develops in relation to the environment and treatment they received while growing up.
• To get the gist of how the research is conducted, tune in to the episode.
• If you experienced ACEs, participating in the study will help you understand why you react the way you do in certain situations.

• The session attempts to combine all the mentioned seven healing resources.
• In 2022, Elise plans to organize a beginner-friendly group session.
• The activities are held live, ranging from experiential teachings, conversations, personal sharings and visualizations.
• From the program, participants could learn compassion and mindfulness in building their spiritual being.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please make sure to subscribe and share it!

Leave an episode review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning in to this episode, don't forget to leave us a review. You can also share what you've learned today with your friends to help them embody their true, authentic selves. Everyone benefits differently from the healing resources out there, so it helps to have choices — find the best one for you! Anything is possible when you return home to yourself.

Have any questions or lightbulb moments? I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to hit me up on Instagram or send an email at [email protected].

Thank you so much for listening! For more episode updates, visit my website.

We all have a purpose in life, and we're all perfectly capable of fulfilling that purpose. But there might be some hindrances that keep us from tapping into our potential. When you ignore these barriers and believe you'll never be able to conquer them, you're robbing yourself of the chance to grow and live the life you deserve.

In the second episode of Returning Home, Elise talks about her journey in becoming sober and the lessons she learned from it. She shares the effects of alcohol on her body, mind, relationships, and spirituality. She also reveals how sobriety helped her push past the barriers that kept her from connecting to herself, others, and her purpose.

If you want to set yourself free by becoming sober and facing yourself more honestly, then this episode on sobriety is for you.

1. Learn about the harmful effects of alcohol in four aspects.
2. Discover how sobriety can empower you and set you on the path towards the life you deserve.
3. Find out how you can get started on your own mindfulness journey.

• Sign up for Elise's Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey!
• Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya

• In 2018 or 2019, Elise began meeting people who identified as sober and initially thought she could never be like them.
• Realizing the lessons in sobriety were things she needed to learn, she made the decision to become sober.
• While she doesn't participate in activities within the sobriety community such as meetings, she believes that "sober" and "awake" are interchangeable terms.
• Sobriety helps you steer clear of things that make you numb and disconnected.

• Alcohol was taking Elise away from being who she wanted to be and made her unrecognizable to herself.
• But, not being sober might apply differently to others. It could be overindulging in sweets, shopping too much, spending too much time in front of their screens, and other avoidant behaviors.

Elise: "The important part, I think, when we talk about being sober or waking up is that you get honest with yourself about where you are and where you might be overdoing something in order to avoid important things in your life."

• Ask yourself how you want to spend your time and if you're okay with the results of the things you choose to do.
• Once you've answered these questions, you can make the conscious choice to get rid of it fully or do it in moderation.

• For some people, drinking isn't really a problem but there might be other barriers holding you back from being who you want to be.
• "Waking up" has meant becoming sober for Elise.
• Social workers approach things using the biopsychosocial spiritual approach, which Elise uses to frame her understanding of the healing process.
• And so, she will tackle sobriety on how it affects four different parts: body, mind, community, and spirit.

• Keeping alcohol in her life kept her in a "fight, flight, or freeze" state.
• With her sympathetic nervous system being constantly activated, she was unable to relax. It affected her nervous and digestive systems.
• She realized that alcohol was doing harm to her body and that she didn't want to constantly find herself back at square one in an uphill battle.

• Elise began consciously thinking about what she could put into her body that will help it rather than hurt it.
• While she has come to a number of realizations while quitting drinking, such as her struggle with body image, she's ready to go on this journey to heal those issues.
• She loves being able to partner with her body and become closer to it after she stopped drinking.
• While she still struggles with ingesting sweets, she's able to look at herself and these patterns with awareness and thus make healthier choices.

• Alcohol completely disconnected her from her mind.
• When she drinks, she tends to lash out at people and make stupid decisions that spirals her into regret, self-hatred, and doubt.
• She realized that some of those issues that she felt ashamed about, such as fighting with others, were blown out of proportion in her mind.

• Sobriety helped give her perspective and stop beating herself up.
• When she looks back on certain events, she is finally able to feel proud of how she carried herself and treated other people.
• The inner critic is still present, but not as severe as before.
• She was emboldened by sobriety, taking responsibility for her own actions and accomplishing her dream of starting her own business.
• She realized that some of those issues were blown out of proportion in her mind.

• Since becoming sober, she would get nightmares where she was drinking but then wake up relieved that it never happened.
• She's dreamed about things that happened in the past as well, but this time, she is in the right headspace to filter them and forgive herself rather than feel shame.

Elise: "What's coming is going. Because it's coming up, I can filter it out. I can forgive myself for it. I'm not drinking to forget these things anymore. And I'm able to remember, so I can filter out what no longer serves me..."

• We are all connected and healing happens at different levels.

• Drinking alienated Elise from herself, turning her into a different person.
• One of her friends recalls being able to see the change in her face when she had drunk too much, and Elise hated to think how much she hurt her friends.
• Listen to the full episode to hear the story of how drinking on New Year's Eve in 2019 on her partner's birthday made her decide to stop drinking.

• On January 1, 2020, she reached out to sober friends and asked for advice.
• She realized she was capable of being with other people sober, something she thought was impossible before, and that excited her.

• Living awake is the biggest lesson.
• She wants to be awake and while she does numb out to cope occasionally, she has realized that drinking stops her from raising her consciousness.
• In 2018, after becoming sober, she started her mindfulness journey.

• After becoming sober, Elise felt more connected and awake, thus more open to receiving spiritual teachings and lessons.
• She's also able to see herself within the larger universal oneness, the greater whole of which we're all small parts.

Elise: "There is this collective unconscious, we are all smaller parts of a greater whole, and I want to be connected to that whole. So not drinking keeps me aligned with that desire."

• With that newfound connection, she was able to serve her clients in her therapy practice at a higher level.
• She's also opening up to more coaching and taking inspired action, thus serving her mission and connecting to her spiritual identity.

• She wonders what our missions are as individuals.
• For Elise, she finds it important to be connected with her mission, her purpose, and her spiritual identity.

• Thanks to sobriety, she was finally able to connect with nature and the world.
• Quitting alcohol is always difficult at first, but she knows that she can go the rest of her life without drinking now that she's almost two years clean.
• She already drank enough alcohol to last her a lifetime, so she doesn't feel like she's missing out and decided it's enough.

• There is so much more to gain without alcohol.
• Elise is aware that she has so much life and untapped potential, and not drinking will bring her closer to those goals.

• It will be different for everyone, but we all have the ability to tap into our potential.
• Being happy and taking care of yourself helps inspire and uplift others, raising their consciousness and helping them live the way they deserve.

Elise: "... by me being happy and me taking care of myself, it actually inspires other people and I can help lift those people up around me. Like it's, we're meant to do this thing, right? It's our birthright to live in a way that is healthiest and best for us..."

If you enjoyed this podcast on sobriety and pushing past the barriers to connecting with yourself and others, please make sure to subscribe and share it!

Leave an episode review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning in to this episode, don't forget to leave us a review. You can also share what you've learned today with your friends to help them embody their true, authentic selves. Anything is possible when you return home to yourself.

Have any questions or lightbulb moments? I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to hit me up on Instagram or send an email at [email protected].

Thank you so much for listening! For more episode updates, visit my website.

Have you observed negative patterns in your behavior for reasons you can't seem to pinpoint? Often, these stem from childhood traumas we think we have already buried or forgotten. That's why sometimes, we can't explain why we respond and behave to circumstances the way we do. Living our purpose as our authentic self requires healing from traumas we don't talk about. And more than anything, it starts with self-knowledge.

In the first episode of Returning Home, Elise talks about how she became a therapist and LCSW. She shares her own experiences of trauma and how it has helped establish her vision as a therapist. Elise delves into Dr. Bruce Perry's Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics and the functions of the nervous system. Remember: trauma healing is much more beyond the mindset. It requires work both in our body and our subconscious mind.

If you want to be one step closer to healing from childhood trauma, then this episode is for you.

1. Learn the meaning behind the name "Returning Home" and how you can benefit from it.
2. Discover the importance of learning about the nervous system's different functions in understanding childhood trauma healing.
3. Find out how mindfulness practice can help in healing from trauma.

• Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Questionnaire
• The Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics by Dr. Bruce D. Perry and Christine L. Dobson
• Video: SevenSlideSeries: The Human Brain (skip ahead to 4:15 to see the model and area of the brain and which parts get affected during trauma)
• The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
• Mindful SchoolsMindful Schools
• Sign up for Elise's Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey!
• Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya

• The rationale behind the podcast is to serve clients and people in the community around therapy.

• Elise wants to be part of creating a world where people want to have self-knowledge.
• Deep self-knowledge leads to love and acceptance of ourselves. It allows us to expand fully in our most authentic expression.
• Elise became a therapist to get to know herself better and heal from things she's experienced.
• Becoming a therapist helped her step more fully into her life purpose.

Elise: "Everybody deserves to be able to feel the freedom in life to express themselves and to pursue the knowledge of themselves and have access to resources to live as their most genuine, authentic self—doing things that align with their values and being able to live as their full, true identity."

• Elise arrived at her vision of the world she wants to live in through pain.
• Going through challenges and difficulties is part of the human condition.
• Elise grew up afraid of the world, feeling like a misfit and a black sheep.
• There was a lack of connection and warmth in her family. Her anxious attachment style made it hard to connect with other people.
• She came from a family of immigrants. One of her siblings committed suicide.

Elise: "Hurt people hurt people, right? That people who are suffering tend to be the people that are inflicting suffering on other people."

• Elise wanted to be somebody who could provide intervention and alleviate suffering through connection.
• Her sister committing suicide put some things in perspective for her.
• She wanted to be her true, authentic self. That Elise is someone she didn't feel she had the permission or the example of how to connect with it.
• She decided to go to graduate school and become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW).
• She majored in Women and Gender Studies. It fed her love of learning and challenging the situations she gets immersed into.

• Elise opened her eyes to potential career paths and did information interviews.
• She realized that the people who were doing the things she wanted to do were LCSW and therapists.

• Going to graduate school made Elise discover the traumas in her life.
• Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) is a 10-question questionnaire around childhood trauma.
• Elise scored 4 or 5 in ACEs. The highest score is a 10.
• She wanted to be an example of what's possible when you decide to take your life into your own hands.
• Becoming a therapist was the way she could create her own path as well as her clients'.

• Elise's initial vision of therapy was a romanticized, cozy therapy office.
• Her training included work with children in many experiential modalities.
• The type of work Elise likes to do is creating warmth and safety in therapy for clients.
• Her vision evolved and changed throughout the years.

• Dr. Bruce Perry developed the theory called the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics.
• Dr. Perry is a child psychologist. He is an expert in child development and the effects of trauma on children's brain development.
• Learning about the effects of trauma on children's development changed Elise's life.
• The model focuses on the developing nervous system of fetuses, infants, and kids.

• The brain stem develops from the bottom up. It starts developing 16 days after conception.
• The brain stem controls the heart rate, breathing, body temperature, and blood pressure.
• The diencephalon cerebellum or the midbrain controls coordination, movement, balance, sleep, and appetite.
• The limbic system controls the social and emotional skills of children between ages 3 to 12. It develops into adulthood.
• The neocortex controls concrete thought, abstract thought, advanced thinking, and problem-solving. It doesn't fully develop until the mid-20s.

• Trauma-informed training and education around what goes on in the brain of developing kids are critical.
• The theory shows that children who have experienced trauma have "pins" in the parts of their nervous system. It affects how the rest of the system develops.
• The nervous system changes the way it develops on a chemical-biological level.

• Trauma intervention and healing are so much more beyond mindset. Trauma has physical ramifications on the body and the subconscious mind.
• The top 5% of the mind is the conscious mind, while the bottom 95% is the unconscious mind. All childhood trauma is in the bottom 95%.
• Our formative experiences impact how we see life.
• We need to bring the body into work to heal from trauma.

Elise: "We need to bring a level of gentleness and a level of understanding and a level of compassion to our work. Because the choices that we make are more often than not very much caused by this unconscious process that's happening that is beyond our ability to just think through it. We have to really work with the body."

• Elise worked in a school and did intensive in-home counseling for at-risk youth. She used the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics approach in her work.
• Infants need co-regulation when something triggers them. Time, intention, and education can help rewrite how the nervous system interacts.
• Our brains can change, learn, and grow because of neuroplasticity.
• Neuroplasticity allows us to become who we're meant to be rather than a reflection of our trauma.

• Mindfulness practice and training helped Elise turn theory into practical, real healing.
• She started practicing mindfulness seriously in 2016 through Mindful Schools.
• Mindfulness helped her slow down and be in her body and experiences. It helped her face herself in an authentic, honest way.
• She stopped drinking in January 2020. A lot of her conditioning, traumas, and patterns have come to light in terms of healing from this experience.

• Generational trauma is real.
• While accountability is critical, people do better when they know better. This knowledge should be on a learned level, not just on an intellectual level.
• Decide to be the one who chooses not to perpetuate harmful patterns on future generations.
• Forgiving people without letting them in your life is an acceptable approach to healing.
• Inflicting harm to other people often roots from the subconscious and unconscious patterns people aren't willing to see.

• Elise's vision as a therapist sometimes puts her at odds with therapy.
• Therapy isn't only about results. It's more of a safe space to process and talk through life experiences while feeling seen, heard, and validated.
• In Elise's work, therapy also involves challenging clients to expand, learn, grow, and try things differently.
• She ties together clients' present circumstances and past experiences that have shaped them. Then, she helps them embody who they truly want to be.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please make sure to subscribe and share it!

Leave an episode review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning in to this episode, don't forget to leave us a review. You can also share what you've learned today with your friends to help them embody their true, authentic selves. Anything is possible when you return home to yourself.

Have any questions or lightbulb moments? I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to hit me up on Instagram or send an email at [email protected].

Thank you so much for listening! For more episode updates, visit my website.

Hi there, I am so happy you are here! If you're curious about things like healing your emotional and mental health, therapy, childhood trauma and learning how to love yourself unconditionally -- you're in the right place. This trailer will give you a sneak peek into what this podcast is all about.