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 In this special solo episode, I’m diving into my recent reunion with Grandmother Ayahuasca after an 18-month pause since my last journey. This eleventh sit—symbolically aligning with 1/11 and the new moon on Día de los Muertos—came at just the right time, ushered in by signs and synchronicities, and guided by the first female leader of one of the first indigenous tribes to work with Ayahuasca. Sharing it here feels like honoring the sacred nature of my experience while also opening up space to process, integrate, and share any insights with you, my beloveds. 

 I was joined by five other queer men for this ceremony, and the experience itself was both familiar and beautifully new. I began with a hape ritual, which grounded and opened me to Ayahuasca in a way that shifted my usual pattern. This time, the experience was gentler—no need to leave the space, no overwhelming discomfort. Instead, I found myself sitting with ease, receiving downloads with clarity. The purging took new forms: yawns, deep breaths, and laughter, each release bringing its own wave of insight.

 Some of the major takeaways centered on inner authority, sovereignty, and trusting myself more fully. Ayahuasca reminded me to create spaciousness in my life—spaciousness to slow down, limit caffeine, tune in more intentionally to my intuition, and reconsider my relationship with things like social media and Netflix. In a paradoxical yet timely message, I was encouraged to both seize the present moment and move forward without unnecessary haste.

 A second serving brought a more intense wave, confronting me with images of skeletons and snakes, and a primal fear of losing loved ones. This phase saw a deeper, physical purge, followed by a release of laughter and movement—each stage bringing a sense of relief and connection.

 This gentle reunion with Grandmother Ayahuasca was a gift, reminding me to honor life’s rhythms and embrace the power of presence. Join me as I unpack the lessons, magic, and moments of this sacred journey.

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