Move over Doom, there’s a new “this shit runs on everything” in town! And yes, you can make Mickey’s Dick Smasher if you want, your park, man!

Internet reviews for Russel Wilson and his Pittsburgh Steelers, office printers, a beauty salon by Diva, and some more Trolli electric crawlers. For the segment, we put up our dukes and check out Con Air on Bareknuckle Letterboxding. No, we won’t be making you pay for the bathrooms.

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Here on this 226th installment of the Review Party Dot Com Podcast, we're getting real spooky with it. Halloween special time, yessir. Are you brave enough to handle this?

We've got scary reviews for a perilous pumpkin patch, an unsettling candy apple suckers sucker, a Little Tyke's playset for for a future self-respecting witch or warlock, the irrefutable Reese's cup, and some creepy crawly Trolli gummy worms. For the segment, we glance and glaze some Great Reviews of History with a look at The Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Sounds terrifying, I know. But we have some laughs along the way!

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Make no mistakes here, this podcast is way less than 90% water. Or however much percent watermelon is, I refuse to interrupt writing this description to google it.

We have internet reviews for Monster "Rehab" energy drinks, drive-thru madness at Burger King in Madison, the Mortal Kombat movie (the 90s one), and The Misfit's Static Age album. For the segment, we dive into some Unfinished Business over on the Chicago suburb Craigslist pages. Seedless! Seedless! We should have done seedless! You imbeciles!

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I'm starting to think, just keep the foot on the gas. You'll get a tummy ache, but there's worse things in the world. The bad things you can't find on the open road! Put 'em behind you, and turn on the podcast, for some:

Reviews for The Iron Giant and the state of animation in 1999, Popeye's by a guy named Dark Bloodshed, crispy onions on subscription, steamy alien romance novels, and the illustrious Taco Hut. For the segment, we dip our toes into the hot oil that is Overcooked 2.

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We got green goo, we got blue slime, we got orange viscous fluid. Vats of it! Wholesale style. Come on down and get a whiskey barrel full of ooze!

We have internet reviews for old people spearmint candy, the Rugrats reboot, a horse racing novel, and a quaint little McDonalds. For the segment, we deep dive into reviews for the late, great Bob Newhart. Shout out my mucus.

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They may say ball is life, but what happens if you remove the ball from your ego entirely? And don’t even get me started on that sauce and getting lost in it!

Reviews for Ali’s Bargain Outlet, the Magic 8-ball, assorted candies, and the Guggenheim museum of modern art. For the segment, we say Thanks, Abbey! with some readings from Dear Abbey. Alright fine, we ball.

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Personally, I'm kind of in the mood for some bad masseuse right now. Just put me in a medieval torture device and we can really work on some of these knots.

Reviews for a massage parlor, Ronald Reagan's boyhood home, Madagascar 2, refurbished GameCubes, and novelty cat gloves. For the segment, we have a bunch of a reviews from a fellow named Kelvin. Oh, that's the spot!

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A sewer is a sewer is a sewer is a sewer is a sewer.

Internet reviews for a quirky coffee mug, 'Arthur's Chicken Pox', silver gel lotion, an apron with egg pockets, and Refresh gum. In the segment we deep dive into a bunch of reviews from a strange fellow named Joseph. Consider this drain unclogged.

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Sometimes, you have turn it down! Down to the tan!

We've got internet reviews for toilet bowl cleaner, the Cajun Boil & Bar, essential oils, and "This Ho Got Roaches in Her Crib: An Urban Satire". We also do a deep dive into the history of M&M colors. Jam packed with vibes!

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My gains are holy.

Internet reviews for Sun Tzu's Art of War, Terminator 2, guava paste, holy water from the Jordan river, and the Mandarake complex in Tokyo. My faith is maxed.

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