Rewired Sober: The Next Chapter

What happens when you quit drinking—and realize alcohol wasn't actually making you wild, confident, sexy, rebellious, or free?

Maybe it was just giving you permission to be the woman you already were.

In this episode, I'm joined by Sarah Anderson, aka The Booze Free Bitch—corporate attorney, creator, coach, and almost seven years sober—for a conversation about alcohol, feminism, midlife, and why sobriety can become one hell of an act of rebellion.

Sarah and I talk about our shared histories as card-carrying “good girls”: getting the grades, building the careers, following the rules, doing what was expected—and eventually using alcohol as a permission slip to loosen up, get loud, dance, wear the outfit, say the thing, and stop being so damn manageable.

But something interesting happens when you get sober.

You realize you never needed the permission slip.

We talk about Sarah's progression from a seemingly “normal” social drinker to becoming physically dependent on alcohol, and why the stereotype of what someone with an alcohol problem looks like kept her from asking for help sooner.

We also get into why Sarah believes alcohol is a feminist issue: the normalization and marketing of drinking to women, wine-mom culture, the similarities she sees between today's alcohol culture and the way cigarettes were once marketed, and what happens when women stop numbing themselves and start trusting their own voices.

And then we get into the good stuff: becoming sober women in our 40s who are somehow bigger, louder, wilder, bitchier, more confident, and more unapologetic than we ever were while drinking.

Because maybe sobriety isn't about spending the rest of your life thinking about how not to drink.

Maybe eventually it becomes an identity shift.

You don't want the booze anymore. You want the life.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The slow progression from social drinking to alcohol dependence
• Why successful, high-achieving women can struggle to recognize when alcohol has become a problem
• Shame and the myth of being “uniquely broken”
• Why connection with other women can be so powerful in recovery
• Alcohol as a feminist issue
• The “good girl” conditioning so many women grew up with
• Using alcohol as permission to be wild, sexy, loud, social, or rebellious
• Why sobriety can rebuild self-trust
• Wine-mom culture and the normalization of alcohol
• Sarah's belief that “drinking alcohol is not fucking normal”
• Why she compares today's alcohol culture to cigarette culture
• Midlife, sobriety, confidence, and running completely out of fucks
• Becoming the woman you thought you needed alcohol to become
• Why long-term sobriety doesn't have to mean thinking about alcohol all day
• Sarah's Redefined Normal sober clothing and her philosophy of “wear the identity”
• Making sobriety visible, rebellious, stylish—and anything but boring

Sarah's mission is bigger than simply helping women stop drinking. She wants to change the cultural story around alcohol and show women that life on the other side isn't smaller.

It's bigger.

You can still dance all night. Wear the stilettos. Get the tattoos. Say the inappropriate thing. Take up space. Be sexy. Be difficult. Be ambitious. Be a fucking bitch if that's what the occasion calls for.

You just get to remember all of it.

Connect with Sarah Anderson:

Instagram: @theboozefreebitch

Check out Sarah's coaching, sober community, and Redefined Normal merch through the links in her Instagram bio.

Connect with Kate:

Instagram: @katevitela

Rewired Sober is a podcast about reinvention, identity, psychology, style, fashion, midlife, feminism, body image, sobriety—and the art of evolving.

What if midlife isn’t about becoming someone new—but finally giving yourself permission to be more of who you’ve always been?

In this episode of Rewired Sober, I’m joined by Lisa Hart Anderson, certified women’s life coach, recovery coach, content creator, and the woman behind Hart2Hart Coach. With a combined audience of more than 92,000 across Instagram and TikTok, Lisa has built a community by doing something deceptively simple: showing up as herself.

Dancing. Swearing. Laughing. Talking about recovery. Talking about menopause. Talking about being a grandmother. Occasionally waking up in the middle of the night and deleting something because even women who look wildly confident can still wonder, Oh God, what are people thinking about me?

And that’s exactly where this conversation gets interesting.

Lisa and I talk about the strange experience of becoming more visible as women at an age when society often seems to suggest we should be doing the opposite.

We get into confidence versus insecurity, the fear of being misunderstood, body image and aging, menopause, creativity, social media, fashion and personal style—and why neither of us wants to spend the rest of our lives trapped inside a single identity called “the sober woman.”

Sobriety may have made our lives possible. But it doesn’t have to remain the most interesting thing about us.

We also talk about the pressure women feel not to look like we’re “seeking attention.” Because apparently wanting to be seen, heard, creative, expressive and visible still requires some sort of permission slip once you're a grown-ass woman.

No thanks.

Lisa shares how social media became part of her recovery, why dancing and creating can be healthy forms of escape, and what she’s learned from putting herself in front of tens of thousands of strangers—even while admitting that confidence is still very much a work in progress.

We talk about style as a form of identity and communication, Lisa’s evolution from bows and Christmas sweaters to dressing according to her mood, and why taking care of herself became meaningful again after getting sober.

And then we get to one of my favorite parts of the conversation: failure.

Lisa has started things that didn't work. So have I. We’ve spent money on ideas, changed directions, tried things, embarrassed ourselves and occasionally wondered what the hell we were doing.

And we’re still trying.

Because maybe failure isn’t evidence that you should stop.

Maybe it’s evidence that you had the nerve to participate in your own life.

In this episode, we talk about: midlife visibility and the fear of being “cringe”; why confidence and insecurity can exist at the same time; sobriety as the foundation rather than your entire identity; being misunderstood online; aging, body image and becoming more comfortable in your own skin; menopause, empty nesting and identity shifts; creativity as a healthy coping mechanism; fashion and style as self-expression; why women are taught to apologize for wanting attention; the addictive side of social media and content creation; refusing to shove an entire human being into a “niche”; and why failing at something might actually mean you’re doing life right.

One of my favorite ideas from this conversation?

Congratulations on your failures. Most people never try.

Lisa and I are both interested in what comes after recovery: the bigger life, the experiments, the creativity, the failures, the ridiculous ideas, the next chapters and the willingness to keep becoming.

We’re not done.

Not even fucking close.

Connect with Lisa:

Instagram & TikTok: @hart2heartcoach

Website: Hart2Hart Coach

Connect with Kate:

Instagram: @katevitela

I have always considered being a get-shit-done person one of my greatest strengths.

Have an idea? Start it.

Have a problem? Solve it.

Want to try something? Stop overthinking and fucking do it.

I've basically built part of my identity around Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic philosophy: done is better than good. And in a lot of ways, that mindset has served me incredibly well. It's helped me start businesses, write articles, walk runway stages, record nearly 100 podcast episodes, embarrass myself occasionally, and keep moving anyway.

But lately I've been asking a slightly uncomfortable question:

What if my ability to get shit done isn't always about courage or confidence? What if sometimes I'm just really fucking impatient?

In this solo episode, I'm looking at my relationship with productivity, patience, uncertainty—and why slowing down can feel surprisingly uncomfortable when you've spent years being proud of how much you can accomplish.

Because there's a difference between refusing to let perfectionism keep you stuck and being unable to tolerate the slow, messy process of actually getting good at something. Sewing and creative projects have been teaching me this lesson whether I like it or not: some things cannot be rushed.

We also get into my absolute loathing of indecision and a realization I didn't particularly enjoy having: sometimes what I've called decisiveness might actually be a low tolerance for uncertainty. Making the decision closes the loop. It gives me movement, resolution and relief. But sometimes life doesn't have an answer yet—and forcing one isn't the same thing as being confident.

And then we get to the bigger issue: productivity as self-worth.

What happens when I got a lot done today quietly becomes today mattered—and eventually, therefore, I matter?

That's where things get a little dark.

I talk about realizing how uncomfortable I became with three completely unscheduled days, and how easily rest turned into thoughts about what I should be creating, organizing, learning, earning or accomplishing.

We also look at the particularly sneaky version of hustle culture sold to women. Ours doesn't always look like an 80-hour workweek. Sometimes it comes beautifully packaged as optimization: the perfect morning routine, perfect skin, strength training, meditation, hydration, a profitable business and continually "becoming her." It's still hustle culture. It just has better lighting and a matcha.

And social media certainly doesn't help. Seeing other women reinvent themselves can give us permission to imagine something different for our own lives—but inspiration can quickly become urgency. Permission can turn into FOMO. Suddenly we're not enjoying our evolution; we're trying to catch up to somebody else's.

Maybe the next evolution isn't another reinvention.

Maybe it's patience.

Discernment. Attention. Learning to tolerate uncertainty. Allowing ourselves to rest without earning it. Letting something take as long as it takes.

I still believe in done is better than good. Sometimes you absolutely need to stop preparing and hit the damn button.

But two things can be true.

Sometimes slowing down is better than speed. Waiting is better than deciding. And urgency isn't the same thing as courage.

Because ultimately:

I don't want my ability to produce in life to become the measurement of whether I'm living a worthwhile life.

Maybe the next chapter isn't about getting more shit done.

Maybe it's about learning which things deserve our time, our attention—and our patience.

What if getting sober didn’t mean leaving the party—but finally becoming fully present for your own life?

In this episode of Rewired Sober, I’m joined by Claire Comai, founder and creative director of Rehab Studios and Vice President and Creative Director of Break Free NYFW’s Recovery on the Runway.

Claire and I talk about the intersection of fashion, recovery, identity, creativity, and reinvention—and why the old image of sobriety as staying home and playing it safe simply doesn’t fit everyone.

After getting sober at 24, Claire found herself trying to figure out who she was without alcohol. Instead of suppressing her love of excitement, fashion, travel, risk, and a little bit of chaos, she began finding healthier places to put that energy. That journey eventually led to Rehab Barbie, her own fashion collection, and now Rehab Studios—a creative studio and PR firm working with designers and producing Break Free’s growing New York Fashion Week showcase.

We talk about why fashion and alcohol have historically been so intertwined, the fear that sobriety will make life boring, and the reality that neither of us could live the lives we have now if we were still drinking.

We also get into Recovery on the Runway, how Break Free is changing the visual identity of recovery, why representation matters, the importance of supporting emerging designers, and Claire’s belief that relationships can become their own form of currency in an industry that can often feel incredibly pay-to-play.

And yes—we discuss the ongoing declaration that “New York Fashion Week is dead.” Claire and I have some thoughts.

This conversation is about refusing the idea that recovery requires becoming quieter, smaller, safer, or less yourself.

Sometimes recovery isn’t about subduing who you are.

Sometimes it’s about finally becoming capable of being more of who you are.

In this episode:

• Sobriety, identity, and rediscovering yourself
• Fashion as creativity, expression, and community
• Why sobriety doesn’t have to mean giving up nightlife or glamour
• Replacing destructive chaos with creative risk and adventure
• Claire’s evolution from Rehab Barbie to Rehab Studios
• The growth of Break Free NYFW and Recovery on the Runway
• Alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, and mental health within fashion culture
• Why sober representation matters
• The changing culture around non-alcoholic drinking
• Why New York Fashion Week still matters
• Supporting emerging designers in a pay-to-play industry
• Building a career through relationships, collaboration, and community
• What’s next for Rehab Studios and Break Free

Connect with Claire & Rehab Studios

Instagram: @clairecomai

Rehab Studios: @rehabstudiosny

TikTok: @rehabstudiosny

Website: rehabbarbie.com

Follow Break Free NYFW

Instagram: @breakfreenyfw

Designers, models, stylists, press, makeup artists, sponsors, and other creatives interested in participating in future Break Free NYFW events can connect with Claire and the Break Free team through their social channels.

Connect with Kate

Instagram: @katevitela

For speaking, workshops, collaborations, or podcast inquiries, connect with Kate through social media or katevitela.com.

What do we actually mean when we say we believe people can change?

The controversy surrounding the canceled John Galliano exhibition at the Met sent me down a rabbit hole—not because I think Galliano is owed a museum retrospective, and certainly not because addiction erases the harm someone causes.

It doesn’t.

But after years working in psychiatry and addiction—and after eight years of sobriety myself—I can't listen to this conversation without noticing what seems to be missing from it: addiction, impairment, recovery, accountability, rehabilitation, and the possibility of genuine human change.

Galliano's antisemitic and racist remarks were horrific. He faced enormous consequences for them. But his collapse also happened during a period of severe alcohol and polysubstance dependence, blackouts, grief, chronic sleep deprivation, extraordinary professional pressure, and profound deterioration.

Context is not acquittal.

Understanding why someone behaved terribly is not the same thing as saying the behavior was acceptable.

So in this episode, I'm asking the harder questions.

What actually happens to judgment, memory, inhibition, and executive functioning during severe addiction and blackouts? Is the old idea that "drunk words are sober thoughts" even neurologically accurate? How much should impairment matter when we're talking about responsibility?

And then there's Dior and LVMH.

Galliano was reportedly producing an extraordinary number of collections while his addiction and mental health deteriorated. So where does individual responsibility end and institutional responsibility begin? What happens when someone's pathology is incredibly profitable—right up until it becomes publicly unacceptable?

But the question I keep coming back to is even bigger:

If someone's deterioration counts as evidence that they changed for the worse, shouldn't years of sustained behavioral change at least count as evidence that they may have changed for the better?

Galliano has now spent years sober, acknowledged the harm he caused, educated himself, expressed remorse, and publicly accepted that atonement does not entitle him to institutional celebration.

That doesn't mean anyone owes him forgiveness. It doesn't mean the Met owed him an exhibition. And it doesn't erase what happened.

But if nothing a person does after their worst moment can ever meaningfully alter how we understand them, then what exactly do we mean when we tell people to get help, take responsibility, recover, make amends, and change?

Because recovery cannot simply be a lifetime probation sentence in which the sickest version of you remains the only version of you society considers real.

This episode gets into John Galliano, the Met controversy, addiction and the brain, blackouts, Dior and LVMH, institutional responsibility, accountability without absolution, forgiveness, rehabilitation, and what redemption might actually look like.

And ultimately, this isn't really an episode about whether John Galliano is a good person or a bad person.

It's about something much more uncomfortable:

Do we actually believe human beings are capable of change?

Because if we believe people can deteriorate, intellectual consistency requires us to leave room for the possibility that they can recover, too.

What happens when life strips away the things you thought made you valuable?

In this episode, I sit down with model, author, breast cancer survivor, and executive producer Christine Handy, whose bestselling novel Walk Beside Me was inspired by her own experience with breast cancer and has now been adapted into the feature film Hello Beautiful.

Starring Tricia Helfer, Hello Beautiful follows Willow, a successful model whose breast cancer diagnosis disrupts not only her body and health, but her sense of identity, beauty, relationships, and self-worth. The film is officially headed to theaters nationwide on September 25, 2026.

But this conversation isn't simply about surviving cancer.

Christine began modeling at just 11 years old, entering an industry where appearance wasn't only noticed—it had value. We talk about what happens when a woman learns to see herself through other people's eyes, and what it takes to rebuild an identity when the external validation you've relied upon no longer feels solid.

Christine shares a phrase I absolutely love: “I don't want to be a victim. I want to be a vine.”

We explore what that actually means—not pretending that terrible things don't happen, but learning how to grow around the things we cannot change.

We also talk about beauty after illness, aging and visibility, the complicated relationship women have with our bodies, and whether it's possible to enjoy fashion and beauty without asking our appearance to prove our worth.

And we get into something I think deserves a much bigger conversation: Have we turned resilience into yet another expectation for women?

Sometimes life is devastating. Sometimes we're angry. Sometimes we don't need to immediately turn pain into gratitude, purpose, personal growth, or an inspirational fucking Instagram post.

Christine and I talk about making room for that reality while still choosing hope.

We also discuss the surreal experience of seeing your own life transformed first into a book and then into a film—and how Christine keeps breast cancer from becoming another identity she has to live inside.

Because ultimately this episode is about something much bigger than illness.

It's about identity after disruption.

Who are we when the roles, bodies, careers, relationships, or identities we've depended upon change?

And instead of desperately trying to become who we were before, what if we allow ourselves to become someone new?

In this episode we discuss:

• Christine's journey from modeling at age 11 to redefining beauty and self-worth
• Her breast cancer experience and the identity shift that followed
• “Be a vine, not a victim”
• Beauty as pleasure versus beauty as proof of worth
• Women's bodies, femininity, aging, and visibility
• Returning to modeling with a changed body
• Why resilience shouldn't require pretending everything is okay
• The pressure on women to turn adversity into inspiration
• The difference between allowing an experience to shape you and allowing it to define you
• Turning Walk Beside Me into Hello Beautiful
• Who Christine is beyond the labels of model, patient, survivor, author, and advocate

Inspired by Christine Handy's novel Walk Beside Me, Hello Beautiful stars Tricia Helfer and is written and directed by Ziad H. Hamzeh. Christine serves as an executive producer.

After screenings and recognition on the film-festival circuit, Hello Beautiful has been acquired by Freestyle Releasing and will open in theaters nationwide September 25, 2026.

This isn't a story about cancer being the end of someone's life.

It's about what comes next.

Learn more about Christine and Hello Beautiful:

Christine Handy: www.christinehandy.com

Instagram: @christinehandy1

Hello Beautiful: In theaters September 25, 2026

Trailer: https://youtu.be/fVw3xG426-c?si=PhLyEAYtxzsiwfEn

What if beauty wasn't about fixing what's wrong with us?

What if it was about celebration, creativity, confidence, and feeling more like ourselves?

In this episode, I'm joined by Sarah Siegel-Kolodziejski, founder of Pure Clarity, for a conversation about the fascinating intersection of beauty, wellness, alcohol-free living, mindset, and reinvention.

Sarah and I both love beauty. We're not here to tell women to throw away the mascara, cancel the Botox appointment, and retreat into the woods. But we are interested in asking better questions about why we do what we do.

When does beauty feel like self-expression—and when does it become another way we're taught that we need correcting?

We talk about Chella, the clean, vegan beauty brand focused on brows and eyes, and the idea that beauty can enhance who you already are rather than create some supposedly "better" version of you.

But this conversation goes much deeper than makeup.

Sarah and I also talk about how dramatically we've both changed our lives by changing our thinking. We discuss rewiring old patterns, neuroplasticity, and studying the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza as part of understanding that we aren't sentenced to think, behave, or live the way we always have.

Our brains change.

Our beliefs can change.

And when we repeatedly practice new ways of thinking and behaving, our lives can change with them.

We also get into a contradiction Sarah has noticed within the wellness world: an industry obsessed with clean ingredients, longevity, mindfulness, nervous-system regulation, sleep and optimal health still routinely pushes alcohol.

We're scrutinizing what's in our moisturizer while somebody is pouring the third glass of rosé at the wellness retreat.

Maybe wellness deserves a bigger conversation.

This episode is about beauty without punishment, wellness without perfection, questioning the cultural scripts we've inherited, and giving ourselves permission to evolve.

Because maybe beauty isn't another project.

Maybe beauty gets to be a celebration.

Pure Clarity — Mindful Drinking, Mindful Living

Sarah's alcohol-free lifestyle, coaching and wellness community:

https://www.pureclaritynow.com/

Chella Beauty

Clean, vegan brow and eye beauty:

https://chella.com/

Is midlife too late to start something new?

Or have social media, hustle culture, and our obsession with turning every damn thing into an accomplishment convinced us that if we're not already good at it, making money from it, or building a personal brand around it…why bother?

In this episode of Rewired Sober: The Next Chapter, I'm talking about what it feels like to be 47 and suddenly obsessed with sewing, French, fashion, creativity, and parts of myself I thought I'd left somewhere along the way.

And yes, sometimes I look online and think: Well shit. I should have started this twenty years ago.

Social media can give us permission to imagine a different life. It can show us women doing fascinating, creative, brave things we didn't even know were available to us. But it can also create FOMO, urgency, comparison, and the nagging feeling that we're late to our own lives.

I'm not the woman I was at 27—and thank God.

I love her. But I don't want to go backward and become her again. Twenty years of mistakes, heartbreak, recovery, careers, relationships, failures, courage, ridiculous decisions, wisdom, and actual LIFE have shaped the woman I am now.

Maybe midlife isn't about reinventing yourself from scratch.

Maybe sometimes it's about bringing old pieces of yourself back—with twenty more years of wisdom attached.

And maybe sewing doesn't need to become a clothing line.

Maybe learning French doesn't need to become content.

Maybe loving fashion doesn't require me to prove that I'm important enough to belong in fashion.

Maybe we are allowed to be beginners. To follow novelty. To suck at something. To change our minds. To spend time on something simply because it makes us feel more alive.

Because joy doesn't need a business plan.

In this episode, I get into social media and FOMO, the fear of being behind, the pressure to monetize everything we love, why novelty matters, returning to forgotten parts of ourselves, and the strange freedom of realizing that at 47, I don't need every new interest to lead somewhere.

Sometimes loving the hell out of something is enough.

Connect with Kate @katevitela

What if getting dressed has less to do with fashion—and everything to do with identity?

In this episode, I sit down with New York stylist and creative director Kate Tricarico to talk about why personal style is so much deeper than following trends. From growing up in New York City to working with legendary costume designer Patricia Field on the Bowery, Kate shares stories from the city's unforgettable fashion scene and how those experiences shaped her understanding of clothing as self-expression.

Today, Kate styles everyone from celebrities to everyday women, helping people discover a wardrobe that reflects who they are instead of who social media tells them to be.

We also dive into one of fashion's most controversial conversations: John Galliano. Fifteen years into his sobriety, does one of the greatest fashion designers of our time deserve recognition from the Met? Can we separate extraordinary art from the deeply flawed human who created it? And what does accountability, forgiveness, and redemption look like in creative industries?

Whether you love fashion or have never thought much about it, this conversation is really about something much bigger:

Who are you?

And are your clothes helping you become more of that person—or less?

• Kate Tricarico's journey from growing up in New York City to becoming a stylist and creative director
• Working for Patricia Field on the Bowery and lessons from New York's creative scene
• Archival fashion and why fashion history still matters
• Why personal style is an extension of identity—not just aesthetics
• The difference between dressing for trends versus dressing for yourself
• Confidence, self-concept, and authentic self-expression
• John Galliano's extraordinary creative legacy and the controversy surrounding his career
• Sobriety, accountability, forgiveness, and whether redemption is possible
• Can we separate the artist from the art?
• Why the most stylish people aren't necessarily the trendiest—they're the most authentic

"Style isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming more recognizably yourself."

If you enjoyed this conversation, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who loves psychology, fashion, or the lifelong process of evolving.

Because style isn't just what you wear.

It's one of the ways you tell the world—and yourself—who you are.

Connect with Kate Vitela @katevitela

Instagram: @katetricarico

Website: katetricarico.com

It's Time to Pivot: Why Rewired Sober Is Evolving

Eight years ago, getting sober changed everything.

For a long time, alcohol was the conversation because it had to be. It was the thing standing between me and the life I wanted. But here's what I've discovered after years of working with women in recovery, psychiatric nursing, coaching, and hosting this podcast:

We rarely stay talking about alcohol for very long.

Eventually, the conversations become about burnout.

Identity.

Marriage.

Careers.

Friendships.

Midlife.

Confidence.

Style.

Beauty.

Purpose.

The pressure of being a woman.

And the lifelong process of becoming ourselves.

That's where my curiosity lives.

In this short episode, I'm sharing why I'm pivoting the podcast and what you can expect moving forward.

We'll still talk about sobriety—because it shaped who I am, and it will always weave its way into these conversations—but this next chapter is much bigger than alcohol.

We'll explore:

• Why recovery is only the beginning—not the whole story
• The psychology of identity and reinvention
• Womanhood and the invisible rules we've inherited
• Fashion and personal style as forms of self-expression
• Beauty, aging, confidence, and the stories we tell ourselves
• Neuroscience, psychology, and human behavior
• Midlife as a season of evolution rather than decline
• The art of becoming who you actually are

If you've been with me from the beginning, thank you.

I hope you'll stay for what's next.

Because the goal was never to spend our entire lives talking about what we stopped drinking.

The goal was always to go out and build a life that feels honest, beautiful, meaningful, and completely our own.

So here's to Chapter Two.

Let's evolve together.

• Why I'm changing the direction of the podcast
• What years of psychiatric nursing and coaching have taught me
• Why conversations naturally move beyond alcohol
• What we'll be exploring in future episodes
• An invitation to keep growing with me

Follow along for conversations on psychology, identity, style, womanhood, neuroscience, and the art of evolving.

If this podcast has meant something to you, I'd love for you to stay for this next chapter. And if someone in your life is navigating change, send this episode their way.

Because reinvention isn't a detour.

Sometimes it's exactly where life begins.